Song Mino has never been interrogated by the police but he could swear that the feeling he was currently having right at this very minute was not far from it. He had cold sweat on his palms, his face felt so hot like its burning and he was trying to calm the beating of his heart. Seungyoon, Jinwoo and Seunghoon hovered around him with their brows crossed in the middle and subjecting Mino under their severe gaze.

“When?”, Seunghoon asked.

“How?”, Jinwoo says.

“Are you serious?”, Seungyoon interjected.

“What do you mean, “Are you serious?””, Mino challenged their leader. “Don’t take it the wrong way, Mino.”, Seungyoon defends. “Its just that you never gave off the vibe that she was your type or even close to it!”

“You don’t even talk to her!”, Seunghoon added. “Not even once!”

“Mino, Hayi is a great girl. She’s petite and pretty, gifted with a beautiful voice.”, Jinwoo starts. “She’s really really kind and hardworking. She’s quite timid and she’s even awkward.” A long silence followed after that and Mino looked at his hyung, waiting for more. “And?”, Mino asked and Jinwoo looked down. “Nothing…”, his hyung answered. “Good!”, Mino smiled. “For a minute there I thought you were going to say you liked her too.”

“When exactly did this happen?”, Seunghoon asked. His protective instinct as one of Hayi’s closest friends kicking in and his tone of voice showed it. “When you introduced her to me.”, Mino answered. “Taehyun was there too.” Seunghoon turned to Taehyun. “And did you know right then and there that Mino liked her?”, the older boy asked and Taehyun shook his head. “I knew way before that.”, the youngest answered. “You did?”, Mino asked and Taehyun nodded. “Someone might have mentioned that you auditioned at YGE so that you could meet her but you did not hear that from me.”, Taehyun spoke so fast that the boys had to process what he said for a while.

“Excuse me for a minute.”, Mino spoke when his phone rang. “I think I know just who the bastard that mentioned it, was.”

~0~

“Waaahhh…”, his friend, Pyo Jihoon, popularly known as PO, said while they were slumped on the ground. They were at the playground close to the dorms and PO came as soon as Mino asked him to. “You’re really going to feature in her album? That’s like a dream come true! I am so happy for you!”

“Thanks buddy, but I wanted to ask you something that’s why I told you to come.” Pyo turned to him and Mino asked. “When and why the hell did you tell Nam Taehyun that I wanted to go to YGE to meet her?”

“That was such a long time ago and I thought he was drunk!”, Pyo laughed. “Besides, the guy was so sure that you wanted to train in YGE so that you could learn how to rap!”

“Then why didn’t you just agree to that? It’s a more obvious reason, right?”, Mino whined.

“Mino, you already know how to rap!”, Pyo looked confused.

“Its easier to believe that I wanted to learn rap! God! This is exactly why…”

“Exactly!”, Jihoon interrupted. “This is exactly why I told him! I wanted to break his bubble. People kept saying you suit YGE’s color or that you are perfectly made for YGE! But I know you, Mino. Probably even better than you know yourself. You have good flow, your verses are over the top. You were making a name for yourself in the underground scene! To be quite honest, you’re even better than me.”

“You know that’s not true.”, Mino glared at his friend. “Who was it that got into Block B between the 2 of us.”

“Well, I always thought I was lucky.”, PO grinned then he took a deep breath before he turned serious. “Why won’t you tell her, Mino? Why is it so hard to tell the others too? I still remember that time. We were both sobering up after a night’s rowdy drinking. I was telling you that I had a crush on Dara-noona but then you said, that if you ever had the chance to go to YGE, you’d…”

“I’d definitely want to meet Lee Hi. As a matter of fact, I’m going to audition because I want to meet her!”, Mino finished and smiled. “I remember the look on your face. The way your mouth opened, was like the shape of your head.” The 2 friends laughed at the memory.

“A year before that, when you were in a slump, you told me never to mention anything about auditions to you. So I was really surprised because that was the only time I heard you say that you were going to audition, again. Truthfully, I was so happy. I never really wanted you to give up on your talent but I didn’t quite know how to help you because I know how hard it was to be disappointed and let down. You were supposed to be in our group but then you debuted with another that disbanded faster than your career as Hugeboy.” Pyo placed a hand on Mino’s shoulder. “I don’t need to know what it is that you liked about her, I already know she’s a remarkable person for inspiring you to start over.”

“Do you believe she’s not my type?”

“I don’t really know about the appearance of your type but if she got an appetite then I’m sure she will be your type.” Pyo and Mino looked at each other and laughed.

~0~

“Why is everyone so quiet?”, Taehyun asked the other 3 when he found them all sitting on the couch, staring into space. “Not that I am complaining. Forget that I asked. Just, go back to being quiet.”

“I’m thinking that we should’ve known.”, Seungyoon said. “Haven’t we shared our crushes to each other before? I thought he liked Chaerin-noona.”

“I thought he liked Dara-noona.”, Jinwoo added.

Why didn’t he tell us anything? Mino doesn’t trust us, is that it?”, Seungyoon asked out loud.

“Hold your horses there, Kang Seungyoon.”, Taehyun snapped. “If the guy wanted to keep it a secret then it is up to him.”

“You’re only saying that because you knew all this time!”, Seungyoon countered.

“Look, you can’t be upset just because he chose to keep his crush a secret from us. That’s childish!”

“I’m sure you’ll be saying something different if you didn’t know!”

“Would you both shut the hell up?”, Seunghoon suddenly stood up and they all turned to the second eldest Winner member. “I have known Hayi before all of you did and she’s like a sister to me so if anyone breaks her heart, I just might forget that we’re brothers.”

“Hyung…”, Mino says from the doorway. He just came back after talking to Pyo and he heard Seunghoon’s outburst.

“Mino, would you come over here for a sec?”, Jinwoo beckoned. “I don’t think we should sleep on this matter without at least clarifying some things.” Mino took off his shoes and jacket before joining the rest in the living room.”

“I never told you because I know you wouldn’t believe me.” Mino confessed. “Taehyun only knew by default and that’s not counted. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t tell him either. But since now you know, then maybe I should come clean. I watched her on tv and I was awed by her stage presence. And her voice, God, I loved the sound of her voice. I could listen to her sing, for days, weeks or even years.”

“Sorry, Mino.”, Jinwoo began. “We always thought you liked CL-noona because she was a rapper like you.”

“I thought opposites always attract.”, Mino answered with a shrug. “But everyone seemed to think that I like noona because of the obvious reason that she’s a rapper and I just let it be because it was safe.”

“Why haven’t you spoken to her then?”, Seungyoon asked. “You were never shy around others.”

“I know she’s awkward with people.”, Mino scratches his nape. “I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable. We did talk once though.”

“Really?”, Taehyun asked. “When and why didn’t I know of this? I usually try to catch if you’d do anything when she’s around!”

“You weren’t there.”, Mino smirked. “It was when I begged to be part of Born Hater.”

Flashback

Studio lounge with Double B and Hayi. Mino was just passing by and the two rappers called him over to share that they were going to do a featuring with Epik High.

“Come on, just ask him.” Bobby says. “It wouldn’t hurt!”

“Yeah, it would be cool, right Hayi?”, Hanbin added. The round chair on the corner turned and Mino saw her. She was in a big black hoodie, denim shorts and black Doc Martens. He thought that the blue beret on her head looked cute but he wasn’t about to say it out loud. His heart was already doing somersaults just by knowing that she was there.

“Eh?”, Hayi looked from Hanbin, to Bobby, then Mino, the latter looking at her with anticipation.

“We want Mino-hyung to join our featuring with Epik High.” Bobby repeated. “You think Blo-hyung will let him join if he asked?”

“Of course!”, Hayi answered immediately. “Mino-oppa is a great rapper. I don’t see why he shouldn’t join in.”

“Thank you, Hayi.”, Mino says with a bow and sneaks a glance at the girl who was already looking down at her music sheet.

It was 30 minutes past 5 when he got out of Tablo’s studio and the laughter from inside only died down after he closed the door. He gripped at the handle and took deep breaths before walking back to the lounge to drink some water. Truth be told, his throat was dry from too much tension. His hand was even trembling when he held the cup.

“Are you okay?”, says a voice from the round chair. He saw the blue beret and those familiar brown eyes peeking through. This time, they were alone. She then stood up, bowed in greeting, and Mino returned it. “How did it go, Mino-oppa?”

“He didn’t want to let me join.” Mino suddenly spoke, standing by the fridge and looking down on the cup he was holding. He somehow found it hard to look at her. “He said that I will be busy with Winner’s activities. He said he didn’t want to add to my burden.”

“Is that why they were laughing?”, she asked innocently. “I thought you got the part!”

“I did.”, he said and smiled at her. “I had to beg for it.” Mino waited for Hayi to say something but when there was only silence. She was looking at him in that peculiar way that only Lee Hayi does but Mino didn’t find it disconcerting. Honestly, he liked being looked at by her. He wanted her to say something. Anything! The silence that hung around them felt heavy. Mino wanted to tell her to not feel sorry for him but he held his tongue when she began walking towards him and stopped only when they were standing shoulder to shoulder.

“Before we can be great, we must learn to be humble.”, Hayi says then she looks up to meet his eyes. “Give them one hell of a verse.” She grinned then continued to walk away.

End of Flashback

“I was about to stop and just let things be but she cheered me on so, I didn’t think I should just let it go.”, Mino finished recounting his story, leaving the last part of the memory behind. The part where she tried to put a patch to his damaged ego, was only his to be savored. He then turned to Seunghoon. He knew how close the other rapper was to Hayi since they knew each other even before YGE happened. “I’m not going to hurt her, Seunghoon-hyung. And for as long as she has the dating ban, I don’t think I can even try to act on my feelings.”

“Good.”, Seunghoon says.

“If you ever…” Seungyoon added. “…decide to act on these feelings though, promise us that you will let us know.”

“Seriously? Do you honestly think I’ll have time to act on my feelings when I don’t even have enough time to act on my hunger?”, Song Mino tried to joke however, the Winner members all raised a brow at him and crossed their arms over their chest. “Jeez, you’d think I’m going to commit a crime with the way you’re…”

“Promise us.”, Jinwoo says. The two Seungs nodded and so did Taehyun.

“Okay, I promise.”, Mino put his right hand up. “I promise to tell all Winner members when I decide to tell or if I do decide to let Hayi know that I like her or so help me.”

Before the other boys could react, his phone began to ring and he checked to see who was calling.

“Who is it?”, Seungyoon asked.

“Unknown number.”, Mino answered. “Should I take it?” The other members shook their head but Mino took a swipe at the screen and answered the call.

~0~

“You look happy.”, says Gray, one of Lee Hi’s friends, producer & songwriter from AOMG. He came to visit her at Tablo’s new studio where the young artist will be recording her new album. “Its been 3 years since my last album!”, she says with a cocky smile. “Shoot me if I look depressed!” Gray playfully threw a pillow at her but she was able to dodge it while laughing. “Who are you and what have you done to my friend Hayi?” Hayi laughed again before she sat beside him on the long couch in one of the studios. “Congratulations on being part of HIGHGRND! Is it better here than the YG studios?”

“Its brighter!”, she says. “Here, my music is actually, I don’t know how to say it but, it seems like not a lot of the music I make gets rejected if you know what I’m saying.”

“Of course, I know what you are saying. And Blo-hyung seems to know what to do with your genre.”

“He always has. I’m really happy I’m going to be working with him again. I have a lot of featuring artists this time. Some of them I met recently. What do you usually do on your 1st meeting? Do you record immediately?”

“It depends. Of course, I have to talk to the artist first and we brainstorm about the concept of the song so that when we meet, recording can be done. If you get a top artist, pretty sure their schedule would be hard to get so with the popular ones, its usually meet and record immediately.”, Gray informs and Hayi pays attention intently. She was quiet after and Gray looked at her. She seemed to have zoned out and was currently staring into space. “What?” Gray asks. “Didn’t you talk to the artists yet?”

“My manager did today, I believe.”, she answers with a hesitant voice. “Wait, you’ve done featuring in your old album, right?”, Gray asked and Hayi nodded. “What did you do before?”

“I only knew on recording day who was the artist. No one really asked me before. The producers usually choose who I do a collaboration with.”, she answered and Gray almost felt sorry for her. “But this time they asked me who I wanted to do it with. There was this song that Dean made, I immediately thought of the artist that I liked to work with!”

“Wow, you even worked with Dean. This must be R&B.”

“Still with a touch of soul.”, she quipped. “I listened to the melody and I don’t know why his name popped into my head. I wasn’t sure at first but when Dean knew who I had in mind, he agreed immediately.”

“Who is it?”

“Song Mino.”, Hayi answered and Gray also immediately agreed. “He’s great, right?”

“Yes, and you wouldn’t have a problem about his rap because he pens his own verses. He’s one of the intelligent rappers out there these days.”

“I think so too.”, she acquiesced. “I’m just not sure if the manager was able to tell him about the concept of the song.”

“Call him, then.”

“What?”, Hayi froze.

“I just said call him, Hayi.”, Gray laughed. “Seriously, you’re awkward with him too?”

“Why is that surprising? I’m awkward with everyone else except weirdos like you.”

“You’re not awkward with Bobby anymore.”

“That’s because I spent more time with him and his group. I haven’t really spent so much time with Winner.”, Hayi mused. “Not even Seunghoon-oppa.”

“You don’t find him the least bit attractive?”, Gray teased. “I heard he has a lot of fangirls.”

“Are you trying to change my mind?”, Hayi says. “Because I still can. This might not work well in my favor, if this backfires and his fangirls hate me, right?”

“Hey, aren’t you “YG family”? Then, you will probably look like his little sister and he will probably treat you like one, so do it anyway.”, he advised. “Those fangirls wouldn’t hate you. It’s going to be more of an advantage if they also support you. Winner and your music are so different from the YG stereotype that you can both use that to your advantage.”

“That makes sense.”

“Your collab would be more personal if you asked him yourself and the artist will be more persuaded, if you know what I mean.”

“But its 11pm and he must be sleeping by now.”

“Trust me, he’s not. Men our age don’t sleep this early unless we were at a marathon or relay in the morning.”

“I don’t have his number!”, Hayi says after checking her phone then she goes out of the room and found her manager at the lounge. She asks for Mino’s number. “Did you tell him about the concept of the song?”, she asked and her manager shook his head. “You didn’t?!?!”, Hayi was worried.

“I only told him to feature in your song and he said yes.” Hayi’s manager answered.

“Oh no…”, Hayi says. Gray laughed at how flustered Hayi was when she came back. “Call him.”, he egged on. “I tell you, it’s going to be better if you asked him yourself.”

“What should I say? I’m not good at this!”, she panicked.

“Hayi, there are no cameras. Just be yourself. You can do it.”, her friend encouraged. He watched as Hayi dialed the number and waited for an answer.

~0~

“Yoboseyo?”

“Yoboseyo, Mino-oppa?”, she says. Song Mino’s eyes widened as soon as he heard that husky voice that he knew so well. “It’s Hayi.”

“Hayi-shi?”, Mino repeated and in an instant, the 4 other Winner members were beside him and were taking a grab at his phone that he had to ran towards his room and lock it immediately. “Sorry about that, I was just outside. I have better reception now, can you hear me?”

“Yes, loud and clear.”, Hayi says. “I think my manager already told you but I just called to ask if you would feature in my song?”

“Of course, Hayi-shi.”, he says trying not to squeal.

While she was thinking of what to say, he was trying to hold his tongue, careful to say anything or say too much that would give away how happy he was. For a second, he wanted to tell her that it was a dream come true but maybe she’ll try next time. But why was she so quiet? Did he say too much? Was he too eager? Maybe she could sense how incredibly happy he was right at this moment while they were talking on the phone? Or maybe, he said something along the lines of, “Of course, Hayi-shi. Can we talk like this every night?” Song Mino mentally slapped himself and shook his head. He can’t. He won’t. He promised he won’t act on his feelings. He needs to control himself or else, they’ll both be so awkward with each other, that’s probably going to be a disaster! He’ll probably get dumped before he even gets a chance to tell her anything! He’ll probably even dump himself before she dumps him!

“If you don’t mind, can we move our meeting to the afternoon?”, her voice was hesitating and she sounded unsure. Mino’s train of thought halted and he listened intently. “I planned to work with Bobby first then we can have the rest of the day. Would that be all right?”, Hayi asked. The other line was quiet and Hayi checked to see if the call got cut but it wasn’t. “Mino-oppa?”

“What time would it be good for you?”, Mino asked, his tone seemed detached and rough but Hayi didn’t mind. She liked the sound of his voice. It was really y on the phone, truth be told. “Hayi-shi?”

“Around 3 maybe?”

“3 would be perfect.”

“Good! That’s great then! I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”, Mino says. “Thank you for calling, Hayi. I’ll see you at 3.”

“No, I should be the one thanking you! I’m really grateful, Mino-oppa.”, she says while smiling on the receiver. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night!”

“Good night, Hayi.”

Song Mino looks at his phone and waited until she ended the call. For some reason, he found no reason to go back out. He stripped down to his boxers and put on a lose shirt before lying on his bed. He heard the door open but he made no move. He knew s were curious about the phone call. They put on the light and Seungyoon was about to say something when Mino sat up and the glare he directed at them was enough to silence anyone.

“She’s going to record with Bobby before I do and she called me to say that. Happy now?”, Mino says and without meaning to, he sounded really angry. “Now get the out!”

~0~

“Good night, Hayi.”, he says and for some reason, Hayi wanted him to say it again but she held that thought and quickly ended the call before he read her mind, if that was even possible. She turned to Gray with an uneasy look. “How was it?”

“Gave me the drunk-dialing-your-ex-kind of embarrassment. Let go of your shirt.”, he admonished. “You’ve been wringing the hem the moment you called. I hope it doesn’t have a tear.” Hayi immediately let go of the hem of her shirt and began straightening it. Gray was right, she has been wringing the material that it was all crumpled now. She was that nervous? Hayi didn’t really notice.

“What?”, she asked when Gray began shaking his head.

“I thought you were just going to ask him to feature in your album and then you were going to tell him the concept.”

“I did that, didn’t I?”

“You did number 1 but I don’t recall you talking about the concept.”, Gray sighed. “You asked him to change schedules with Bobby instead.”

“I did?”, she asked and Gray nodded. “Is that wrong?”

“Okay, close your eyes and picture this scenario I will give you.” Hayi complied, trusting her friend, and the latter continued. “Imagine I called you and asked you to feature in my new song. How do you feel?”

“Happy of course!”, she says while smiling. “I’ve always wanted to sing one of your compositions.”

“But then, I tell you that I have to record with Red Velvet first and we can meet in the afternoon, how would you feel?”

Hayi suddenly opened her eyes and stared at Gray. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“I told you to imagine!”, Gray says and Hayi laughs.

“Okay fine! If you push me back to make way for Red Velvet, I’ll surely get mad!”, she says then grins. “But of course, since I am your good friend then I’ll probably understand because I’m sure you have a crush on 1 of them.”

Gray then became quiet and just stared at her, waiting for some divine intervention.

“Oh no…”, she gasps. “I should’ve asked him when he was available!”

“Well, that’s close…”

“What if he needs more time? Should I call him and ask if it’ll be better to meet next week?”, her innocent bright brown eyes turned to Gray and the latter could just shake his head and pray to God to intervene for his friend.

                                                                                                                                                                                   ~0~

In the years that Song Mino has trained, he never once went out for a jog in the wee hours of the morning. But not today. He slept lightly, if he ever had any sleep at all. Without looking at the clock and putting on the lights, he left their dormitory to run. Perhaps he was running away from his frustrations. Perhaps he was running away from the hurt. But whatever it was that he felt last night, wasn’t pleasing at all. He knew what it was that plagued him, yet he never once uttered the words. Saying it means that he was accepting it. But he would never. He broke into a fast run until he reached a dead end.

A wall made of stone.

“Argh!”, he screamed as he hit the boulders with his fists.

“Yah!”, came another shout and Mino turned to find his friend, and although he wouldn’t admit, part of the reason why he’s miserable right now. “Hyung, what the hell?”, the other asked as he came closer and checked on Mino’s hands. “Good thing you put those gloves. It doesn’t look like you hurt yourself. But damn, you got me so scared. Why in the hell are you hitting rocks for? You know you can’t hurt your hands. Make up won’t be able to hide it.” Mino didn’t speak so Bobby just looked at him. “What happened?”, the younger guy asked. “You look upset. Want to talk about it?”

Mino turned and walked away instead but Bobby just fell in step beside him. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the studios by now?”, Mino clipped while still catching his breath. “I really just want to be alone.”

“I don’t have to be there until 8. Hayi’s manager called last night and asked our recording to be moved in the morning.” Mino turned to Bobby. “I don’t mind because I want it over and done with. They already told me the theme of the song so I prepared my rap last night.” Mino stopped and turned to Bobby. “Her manager called?” Bobby nodded. Suddenly, Mino’s chest felt lighter and he found it easier to breathe now. Generally, he felt that there was something good in living again.

“Yeah. I haven’t heard from Hayi-shi for a long time now so I was surprised when her manager called. I heard you were going to feature too!” Mino nodded. “That’s great! Want to go together?”

“Hayi said she’ll meet with me in the afternoon.”, Mino shared. “She hasn’t told me about the song yet, though.”

“Oh, she called you?”, Bobby asked and Mino nodded. The latter was secretly doing a celebratory dance in his head.  “So hyung, what happened?”, Bobby asked, concerned. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“It’s nothing.”, Mino evades. “I was j