Summary: Minkyung doesn’t know what being sub-leader means exactly, but she’s trying her best.

t/w: Drinking and hands where they’re not wanted. Not explicit, but it's a clear reference. Specifically in Yebin’s section. It's also referenced really briefly in Sungyeon's and Kyungwon's sections. A sentence. Actually, a fragment of a sentence. If you’re uncomfortable with this and don't want to read it, you can skip over the section. They were written independently of one another.

t/w: An unhappy family dynamic in Kyungwon’s section. Again, you can skip it and miss nothing.

Note that I have not marked this chapter [M] or [TW]. If you think I should, you need only comment here or dm or @ me on twitter @roavwade.

Kyla doesn’t like skinship, so Minkyung is unsure of how to proceed with her at first. With the other girls, she doesn’t need to use words. She can hug them and show them that she cares through touch. Kyla is different. For her, words are the most important thing. When Minkyung hears her murmured English conversation through the door to the other room in the dorm, she thinks she understands what she can do, so she goes out to the bookstore next day with her money from her most recent birthday and asks the clerk where the English workbooks are. It’s hard. Minkyung had never been very good at languages, but she knows she’s done something right when she catches Kyla’s eyes lingering on the book and the younger girl trying to hide her smile.

Siyeon doesn’t need a mom. It’s a mistake Minkyung makes early on. When she was first told to take care of the girls when Nayoung was away, she assumed she needed to be like a leader, treating the youngest members the way she had seen other leaders do. Minkyung thinks it’s no wonder Siyeon didn’t like her much at first. Minkyung learned her place quickly. She is no one’s mom. That’s reserved for Nayoung, who had been there long enough to have been a part of the trainees’ lives in a way Minkyung would never be able to understand. So Minkyung backed up. She admits she had been out of line, being too familial with a girl much older than her years. Siyeon didn’t need a mom, but she needed a Minkyung, someone who she could talk trash with and talk back to and play around with. More nurturing than a sibling, but not a mom. Siyeon didn’t need that.

Sungyeon misses home in a way that Minkyung can’t fully understand, but she thinks she’s a little better at it than Nayoung. Rebelling as a kid could do that. Although, Minkyung thinks, Sungyeon is running towards something. Minkyung had been running away. Still, it was all the same. Bars, at the beginning, had been as foreign to Minkyung as Korea had been to Sungyeon, still is, sometimes, to Sungyeon. Sometimes, Sungyeon is Shannon, and that’s okay. Sometimes, Shannon is tired. Minkyung understands that. Minkyung had been Minky sometimes, had needed a cuddle, sometimes, a hug, maybe. She hadn't gotten it, not like she wanted. Not at all. Nevertheless, the feeling is something Minkyung is familiar with. Something an hour of dumb American sitcoms and some hot soup could, well, not fix, but certainly treat. It is all the same.

Yewon is the maknae, despite her age. Minkyung can tell from her impressive collection of stuffed animals that are spread across her bed and the blanket that no one else is allowed to touch. She can tell from the way she curls into anyone’s lap on the couch during movie night. She can tell from the way she grabs onto the nearest hand while they’re waiting offstage. Minkyung knows how to do this. Skinship is easy, organic for her. It’s become second nature for Minkyung to slide in next to Yewon as they’re waiting offstage and grab her hand before Yewon can reach for hers. To pat her lap in an invitation as Yewon pads into the living room in her polar bear print pajamas for movie night. To make sure Yewon knows when laundry day is so she can wash her blanket in a gentle cycle before someone else blasts the sweat stains out of their practice clothes. This is easy for Minkyung.

Jieqiong is Chinese. It doesn’t mean much most of the time. Jieqiong is better than Minkyung at Korean most of the time. She can say tong