The only permanent thing in this world is change.

I never once thought of myself being like this. Most of time it wasn't yourself the reason why you change, it is all about the person that surrounded you. One day I find myself starring at my own self through the mirror. I don't know myself at all. It is the outcome of the pain, time, and hatred of mine. Enough for wandering, I don't need to make myself fool because myself knows what my real reason.

I was on my ten years of age when the girl I really like the most went to Australia. During that time I am oblivious of what my ual preference is. All I know is I am fond of her. She is all the thing I want to be with. She is my best friend since diapers. Our parents are good friends since they are neighbors back then. 

"Could you not leave?" That was the only thing I can says when she told me about migrating to Australia. My nose was red and y eyes are puffy from crying. I remember how she laugh a little when I ask her those things. She get something from her pocket and gave it to me.

"Though I want to stay, you know I can't. Don't cry, it will be harder for me to leave if you are acting that way." She smiles at me, and I know she was trying hard to stop the tears coming from her eyes. I look at the ring she gave me., and I gave her  a questioning look. The smiles she gave me was priceless.

"You Rudolf, look at your nose." She laugh, but i can't laugh though she was joking. The feeling of emptiness is filling my heart by now. "That was a ring of dad. Here is the ring of mom." She show me the ring that was in a necklace.

"Why are you giving me this? What if auntie look for it?" She gets my hand and intertwined it with her hand. She starts dragging me down the street with a big grin in her lips. "They will not look for it, they already gave it to me.  make it as your necklace too. Always wear it, and I will too. Always remember this, when a thing was given to you it means you have all the rights over it," That were the last words I heard from her. 

"You've got to help me with this." I look at my best friend who just enter the canteen She was grinning like an idiot like usual. I just find her as my new best friend when I transfer school during the middle school.  Now we are even in high school and we are still friends. She run as a school president, she was rally popular among girls since she is a player of the basketball team. That is the main reason why she won the damn election.

"What makes you think that I will help you? That was your responsibility." She laugh on what I say. This is one of the thing I hate about her, all the things are big joke for her. We are best friend, but she never consider my side.

"Come on, you always did it for me. You are always at my back that ready to help me out. We are best friend remember? So help me, I got to go. I need that tomorrow to present during the Student Council meeting." With that she left me, leaving me the responsibility that supposed to be hers. My classmates even call me the girl behind the popularity of Choi Sooyoung.

"Soon you have to wake up that Choi Sooyoung is just making you as her slave. You won't get any credits from that." One of my classmates say. I look at him with unknown stare. I know he have the point, but Sooyoung is my best friend. She used to help me with bullies back in middle school.

"Sooyoung is my best friend, stop badmouthing Johnny." Johnny use to tell me this. He knows me very well. He is also a friend of mine. "You always says that. Best friend is different from slave, enough for the thought of her  saving you from bullies back in middle school. You already paid her off." Hes stand leaving me to the canteen. I should be following what he sya, but during that time I have deaf ears, blind eyes and closed mind.

"Can I borrow that ring?" I look at the thing that Sooyoung was pointing and I see she was pointing the ring that in my necklace as a pendant. I wrinkled my forehead, and I see Sooyoung scowl. "Look that was only a ring." What she says makes my blood boil. I know that there are so much things that means something to me, but nothing her. We are opposites anyway.

"This is not only a ring Soo." Sooyoung laugh at me. She close her books and start collecting her things. "Where are you going?" She didn't answer instead she continue what she was doing.

"Finish that things up. I loss the mood of doing that. Sent that to me. Bye." Sooyoung left me again. I don't know why I am being dumb doing all this stuffs for her. This is always a things to think. Why we o things that will do nothing for us. Maybe it was the fact that you are doing it for someone that means a lot to you. 

"I don't even know if it makes sense. I think you forgot that we have meeting for the project in Physics." Johnny shows me the book he got from this library. He sat opposite from my chair. I look at him with an apologetic look. "That look will not change anything that you ditch me over that project mo student council." I don't know what to say anymore. I feel ashamed of ditching Jonny, so I just et him say what he wants.

"Sooyoung acting all so responsible in front of everyone without them knowing that the person who should receive credits is you. If only Sooyoung wasn't your best friend. I already told them what she was doing to you maybe? But I know you will not do that is she wasn't your best friend. Doesn't make sense." Johnny opens the books, I just watch him and he looks at me.

"Will you choose this project over that stuffs or I will exclude you from this project so you can start working on your own now?" Johnny really knows how to threaten me. I sometimes find myself being trapped between things that I want to do.

"Here." I look at Johnny as he gave me a pink envelope. I smells it and it smells nice. I smile looking at it. "What is it? Do random girls wants me to give it to Sooyoung again?" I asked Johnny, he get a chair and sat beside me. "I know why Sooyoung like you. You are an idiot she can use." What he told me hurts a lot, but I can't find myself arguing back.

"Whatever, don't mind what I say. Tiffany gave that to me. I heard she likes you." Johnny says and left me there. Tiffany is a member of Student Council too. She is a VP- External. Everyone knows her for being bubbly, she is a member of the cheerleading squad too. I open the letter and starts reading the letter of Tiffany.

Dear Yoona, 

        I hope you will be able to read this. I am looking forward of knowing you more. You know I've been rooting of becoming your friend. I know it may feel awkward to you that I am writing this out of nowhere. Though it is a little bit embarrassing I -

"Still want to tell you that I like you. I hope you consider my feelings. Loving, Tiffany Hwang." Sooyoung finish the reading of the letter for me. She laugh hard as she read the letter. She crumpled it, and throw it away. "Damn! Sooyoung why you did that?!" I start getting the letter and straightening it again.

"Should I remind you again why I join the student council?" Sooyoung asked me with an annoyed tone. She gets her bag and left. Though I want to be friend with Tiffany, Sooyoung always makes me remember that Hwang Miyoung is the reason why Choi Sooyoung the Student Council.

It is one of the high school days that I found my world stops. All I know  is I was starring at her. She was standing their with a smile  in her face. I miss her. All I want to do is hug her, and tell her how I miss her. 

"S-sica unnie?" She looks at me, and her smile faded. Sooyoung who was talking to her look at me too. "Oh here is my buddy.  You know Jessica she was my best friend. You know her?" Sooyoung asked. Jessica look at me and back at Sooyoung. "I can't believe this." Jessica laugh, and those laughs still brings butterfly in my stomach. Years ago I was uncertain of my feelings, but now I am sure that I like Jessica. She is my first love.