The soft sound of jazz music was heard from gramophone in a private room of a famous high-class restaurant in China. The drizzles began to drop from the dark sky above, accompanied the dinner date between three idol men with different ages. Baekhyun as one of them, was looking outside the crystal clear glass window that stand proudly from floor to ceiling, he was currently observing the sparkling lamps lighted out of the buildings in Beijing from the top floor as he swirled his wine glass which almost empty in his right hand.

“I’m sorry if I ruin your dinner date. You can ignore me, if you want.” Baekhyun was the first one who broke the silence between them. His gaze still fixed on the window without spared a glance to his friends.

“No problem at all. But, I’m curious, what makes you come with Sehun in your holidays that you rarely get? Is there something wrong in Seoul?” The pretty man with round eyes that looked like a deer across the table asked him and Baekhyun only replied with shrugging shoulders. Luhan seemed didn’t want to pry further and he diverted his attention from Baekhyun to Sehun, in hope that he could get the answer from his boyfriend.

Sehun stopped his cutting-the-meat-with-knife activity and reached the napkin from the table for cleaning his mouth just in case if there was any crusts before he answered, “I think Baekhyun-hyung only want to break free for a while from Daehyun-hyung’s chivvy. He is being so persistent these days to the point he often comes to the dorm. In my honest opinion, Junmyeon-hyung looks like tired as from opening the door and providing the water for him every time he visits. I mean, yes Lu, he is coming that often! I once have thought that he is becoming our tenth member substituting Tao. Can you imagine that?”

Baekhyun stared sharply at Sehun and he groaned. He didn’t want to tell to his ex-member about Daehyun. Heck, he didn’t even want to remember him. According to Baekhyun, he and Daehyun were supposed to not ever happen and although it bound to happen, it all started with a mistake. But in the end, they were happened and currently dating.

Sehun grinned with amusement when he stared back at Baekhyun, Baekhyun just shrugged his shoulders off again as he sipped his left over wine in his glass before he refilled it from the bottle atop the dinner table.

“Daehyun? I just hear it now and you should have talked to me about him sooner. I want to hear it too, Baekhyun!” Luhan demanded Baekhyun while he scooped the ice to add to his glass since it gradually melting.

“Hyung, I like 100% sure that soon Sehun will likely tell you everything about him in your hotel room. It’s better if we talk about something more appropriate to be discussed rather than my present boyfriend’s unworthy . My time to be able to meet you is limited, hyung. You should tell me more about your career or the development of your dad’s company or anything.” Baekhyun began to feel a bit dizzy because of the red wine that he consumed and seemed like the alcohol had successfully took over half of his consciousness. Baekhyun always had low tolerance for alcohol, after all.

“Alright, if you say so. Hahaha, you know that my career goes smoothly. You probably had known yourself that I started to enter on the actor world.” Luhan answered it lightly whilst he rolled up his spaghetti Bolognese with his fork which he ordered for tonight dinner. Baekhyun only responded him with a brief nod before his head landed with a soft thud on the table. Baekhyun was completely drunk. As he walked to the dream of world, he somewhat heard Sehun and Luhan’s conversation across the table and they had once mentioned a name that should not have be stated along with Daehyun’s name. A name that should have been buried deep inside of his heart since months ago. A name that he should have forgotten but even up until now, it was saved beautifully on the highest shelf of his memory.

Oh, how he wished he could forget him completely.

****** 

The first thing that Chanyeol saw when he opened his eyes was the blinding light emitted from the lamp above his head. And then he was aware that his body throbbing in pain as he wanted to change his position on the bed.

‘Where am I?’ was a question that crossed his mind right now. He scanned his surrounding and found that the room was painted in green powder colour with green pastel for the curtains which covered the outside situation that looked like in heavy rain. It wasn’t his room.

The room was deadly quiet except for the ‘beep’ sounds from the machine beside his bed. Chanyeol tried to say something but instead he heard his voice like someone who got trapped in the verge of death. His voice was hoarse and low. Suddenly, he felt his throat dry and burn caused of his attempt before.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol turned his head with much trouble to the source of the voice which came from the doorway. His head began pounding so hard and he winced. His vision became blurring but he knew whose voice was that. He knew the owner however he still couldn’t remember the name. He still couldn’t register the situation.

“Finally you are awake! Wait a minute, I’ll bring the doctor and the nurses!” The voice was fading out but not long after he gone, Chanyeol heard footsteps coming to his room. It was getting closer and merrier to his room. This time Chanyeol didn’t try to look at the arrival because his head aching so badly.

Chanyeol had taken a glimpse of a heart monitor, an IV drop, a comfy black couch on the corner and a vase on the table beside his bed in the room. A woman’s voice shouting ‘doct’ made it all more clearly to him that he was indeed in a hospital room. How he ended up here and what happened to him, Chanyeol didn’t know and he didn’t remember anything.

“Chanyeol, can you hear me?” An unfamiliar voice asked him a question. Chanyeol only nodded his head before that person gave him more questions. Those unfamiliar voices kept asking him how he felt, whether he felt hurt or not, which part that hurt the most and all the kind of questions about his conditions at the moment. Slowly, Chanyeol found his voice back and he answered the bombarding questions. When he opened his eyes, he saw a man wearing a neat white shirt with white coat completed with stethoscope hung around his neck. He also felt two nurses checked his body that he mentioned and talked some medical language which Chanyeol didn’t understand. The two nurses walked out from the room with a rush and they left Chanyeol with the doctor and his three friends.

“What happened?” he asked the people circled around him. He needed to know what the cause for his pounding head as though Jongin hit his head for his boxing sandbag. Boxing was his new working out menu lately.

“What do you mean what happened? Did you not remember anything from last night?”

Chanyeol shook his head weakly. If he did remember, Chanyeol would not even ask him in the first place!

“How come you didn’t remember, this fool kid! We almost lost you. Don’t you dare die on me, Park Chanyeol! Because I can’t bear the losing feeling.” The whitest friend among the three started yelling to Chanyeol. Chanyeol knew he didn’t mean to raise his voice since he could hear the evident worry and the slight relief in his tone.

The doctor took over the conversation between Chanyeol and his friends who still looked at him with concern expression which clearly visible on their faces. “So Chanyeol, what do you remember? Can you remember something?” The doctor grabbed a small note and a pen from his white coat pocket and ready to write something for whatever Chanyeol would say next.

“I don’t know. No. The thing is I’m not really sure what I remember about the last event. I think we just finished recording the last music event on TV for promoting the Growl? Oh, I remember Kyungsoo locked my head between his arms and beaten me so hard with his fist on the backstage when I and Kris-hyung teased his height. Maybe that was the cause for you guys brought me up to hospital? I also remember the shoot for our first reality show where there was a big screen TV that gave us random questions to answer and had funny sound when the questions popped up.”

Wait. There was something weird here judging by the widened eyes that his friends gave as the response. He afraid those eyes could fall of the sockets if they widened it a bit more.

So, Chanyeol’s guesses were wrong.

Then, what happened with him?

His three friends didn’t open their mouth and stared at him with shock. Their jaws slacked and it formed the ‘O’ letter because of Chanyeol’s answer. The oldest in the group released his new found voice and asked him, “Chanyeol, you really didn’t remember anything? Like anything aside after that event?”

“Those were the last activities I was doing, hyung. In my head, I only remember until the shoot though.  Am I wrong?”

“Of course you are, you ! Did you not remember an accident from yesterday night?”

An accident? From yesterday night? What the happened with him? Why he couldn’t remember it no matter how hard he tried to? Why his hyungs couldn’t give him the actual answers for the questions? Chanyeol shook his head again because damn, he really didn’t have a clue why he ended up with a wreck body and a throbbing head in hospital bed.

The doctor interrupted their talk again and gave Chanyeol the answer that he wanted. “It’s okay if you can’t remember. You and your friend Kyungsoo got a traffic accident yesterday near Gangnam. The motorcycle that you drove bumped with a car which was driven by a drunkard. Fortunately you two can be saved before it was too late.”

“Kyungsoo? How is he?” Chanyeol intended to rise from the bed after he heard his band mate got hurt because of him. Chanyeol must know his best friend’s condition but Chanyeol’s action halted by the doctor and his three friends who were standing beside him. Chanyeol struggled to get free from their grips and asked them to him to Kyungsoo’s room. He wanted to know whether his health state was worse or better compared to Chanyeol. Chanyeol ignored the aching feeling on his head which still there and kept attempting to break free. The nurses from before back to his room a tray on her hands and injected something into his arm. Slowly, his body absorbed the liquid which was injected to his system and it made his eyes became heavy. And Chanyeol passed out.

After the doctor ensured that Chanyeol was sleeping due to the sedative, he beckoned the nurses and Chanyeol’s friends to follow him outside the room to receive the explanation regarding Chanyeol’s condition. The nurses walked out first and they excused themselves which left the doctor and Chanyeol’s friends alone.

“If I look to his current situation, I guess the biggest possibility is he suffers a trauma caused of the hard banged on his head against the pavement and it leads him to Amnesia Anterograde. A situation in which one can remember events that occurred in the past from a long time ago, but one can’t remember the recent events happened to them.”

Junmyeon, Minseok and Yixing, the three friends of Chanyeol didn’t know how to react when they heard the explanation from the doctor. They were stunned on their place.

******

The second time Chanyeol woke up from his deep slumber, he didn’t feel the throbbing feeling on his head anymore. He realized that the sky outside the room was starting to darken and the rain still pouring down even though it only the droplets now. However, when Chanyeol woke up, the left part of his body can’t function well. He realized that his left hand was in gips and bandaged tightly, it attached to his chest. He can’t move his bandaged left foot as well.

Chanyeol then noticed Junmyeon’s presence who was sleeping on the chair beside his bed. Called it as the brother instinct because Junmyeon also woke up when he felt Chanyeol’s movement on the bed. Chanyeol tried to reach a glass on the table but he couldn’t fetch it. Junmyeon grabbed the glass swiftly and he gave it to Chanyeol. Chanyeol drank the water a bit and return it to Junmyeon to put the glass back on table.

“Where is Kris-hyung?”

“How can I say it to you, Chanyeol-ah? To sum it simply, he left you. He is gone and left us, EXO.” Junmyeon answered the question with a bitter smile. It seemed that Kris’ sudden departure carved a deep wound to the leader’s heart. Chanyeol didn’t want to dig it any further and distracted his question to other.

“How about Luhan-hyung? Why I only saw you, Minseok-hyung and Lay-hyung this morning? Where are the others?” Chanyeol was a little disappointed with the absent of his band mates, he thought that they weren’t care for him at all.

“Luhan-hyung also left us, Chanyeol. But he didn’t abandon Sehun though. As well as Tao who plans to leave us next month. Jongdae and Jongin are in Kyungsoo’s room. Minseok-hyung and Yixing are on their way from dropping your parents to home since they also need rest for themselves. They were all here while you slept.”

“Is Kyungsoo alright, hyung? I want to see him but my body can’t cooperate with me and refuse to move after that injection.” Junmyeon chuckled when he heard Chanyeol whined like a kid. He knew although Chanyeol was tall and has proportional body for a man, deep inside he was just an innocence kid.

“Kyungsoo is alright, he only has scratches on his arms and knee. I still can’t register yet how the hell you were the one who got it so bad. I mean, you are the driver but look at your pity self now.” Junmyeon could see Chanyeol sighed in relief as if his nightmare from his sleep disappeared suddenly. Chanyeol grinned widely because he also didn’t know why.

“How about Baekhyun? Is he also in Kyungsoo’s room?” Chanyeol uttered Baekhyun’s name with full enthusiasm in his tone.

“Oh, Baekhyun is in Beijing. It’s our days off before we continue the world tour, so he uses it to take a break and have a nice vacation. Jongdae said he had tried to call him but seems like he still doesn’t give any response.”

Chanyeol could feel his world stayed still for a moment. Baekhyun in Beijing? Since when?

“Huh? He is enjoying his vacation without me?” Without Chanyeol acknowledgment, his last question made Junmyeon stupefied.

Of course it was!

Junmyeon forgot the most important thing to tell to Chanyeol and the thing was involving Baekhyun. With difficulty, Junmyeon gulped before answer the question that most likely will make Chanyeol heartbroken.

“It’s okay though if he went without me. At least, is he on his way back, hyung? Somehow I miss my boyfriend so much. I really can’t wait to meet him!” Junmyeon was certain that he could hear the giddiness in Chanyeol’s voice while he focusing his eyes to look at the ceiling as if he was imagining Baekhyun’s face there. And all of this made Junmyeon’s heart wrenched in hurt.

“Uh, Chanyeol…. You and Baekhyun were not in relationship anymore since more than three months ago.”

As quick as the light, Chanyeol’s smile began to fade from his handsome face.

Chanyeol didn’t know which one hurt the most he felt right now, the physically wound on his body or the emotionally pain in his heart.

******

It was almost two years. The doctor said that today is 2015 and Chanyeol couldn’t remember a thing on those periods of time. The nurses helped the doctor to carry out a series of examination on his body in order to make sure their suspicion about his anterograde.

Junmyeon said that in two years he had took part in two television shows, he had stared in two dramas also he had filmed one movie and had agreed to be the main role in a Chinese romance movie. As a group, EXO had successfully conducted the first world tour and now they were starting to finalize their preparation for the second world tour that had started in Seoul last month.

All of the things that Junmyeon had said sound unfamiliar to Chanyeol because he was sure as hell that himself hadn’t done all of it.

Chanyeol frowned his forehead while he closed both his eyes. Among all those weirdness occurrences, the one that confused Chanyeol the most was the fact that he lost Baekhyun. He could literally feel his heart shattering into million pieces when Junmyeon told him.

How came he lost Baekhyun when the last thing he remember was when they were finally and officially became boyfriends? 

Ever since he met Baekhyun before the trainee started and when their eyes met for a good ten seconds, Chanyeol had known that Baekhyun was the one. He was the person that Chanyeol had been looking and waiting for all this time. It took him so long for Chanyeol to convince Baekhyun that they were more than just friend and it required a great amount of time for realizing that he had special feelings toward Baekhyun.

Because if they were only friends, their palms should have not sweating profusely when they were close to each other. Because if they were just friends, they would not look into one and another with the evident gaze full of longing in their eyes. Because if they were merely friends, they would not stutter and nervous around each other presences. Because if they were only friends, their hearts should have not beating with fast pace when they saw each other from afar.

In his memory, everything was just the beginning. He only took a nap for two days however, why when he woke up all those attempts that he had done to be with Baekhyun vanished in front of his eyes? What kind of sick joke was it? It didn’t make any sense for Chanyeol.

He wanted to know the reason for their breaking up. He wanted to know as well who was in the ing hell that had said the ‘b’ word between them. Because Chanyeol swore to his grave, he couldn’t bear the pain that the word brought. He knew he would lock himself in his room and crying to his heart content in order to ease out the agony feelings if they broke up. Chanyeol couldn’t go through that, he didn’t want to torment himself with the broken feelings and he couldn’t even dare to say that word no matter how annoyed and how mad he was with Baekhyun. Then, was it Baekhyun?

Chanyeol kept frowning his forehead until he slept again. In his sleep, he can vaguely listen to Yixing and Jongin’s voice who talked to him.

“Chanyeol-ah, do you know that sometimes I really wish my healing power exist? I want to use it to heal you since I don’t want to see you in pain.”

“Hyung, thank you for saving Kyungsoo. I don’t know what would happen if you didn’t give your jacket and helmet to him. Once again, thank you so much, hyung.”

******

Sehun and Luhan had been in relationship since few months after their debut in the same team. When Luhan left the group, he couldn’t hide his disappointment toward Luhan because it meant that it would be difficult for them to meet due to their individual packed up schedule. They would find it hard to meet in the middle of their busy days since they were becoming Asian pop stars now. Sometimes they gave in with each other and took a turn who was visiting who and it was benefitting for two sides. As for now, before EXO’s second world tour that would start his busy schedule, he enjoyed Beijing night view from the highest floor of famous restaurant with his beloved one in his holiday. Due to their lack of time that they had, Luhan and Sehun really appreciate the time for its second. They often turned off their phones so their precious moments couldn’t be bothered with those unwanted people.

Usually Sehun went to China alone or with Yixing. However, this time he was accompanied by Baekhyun. His hyung who currently sleeping soundly as the effect from his drunkenness, made him wonder about his main purpose to come here. He knew his hyung was heartbroken at the moment but he didn’t have the guts to say it directly in front of him. It was not because of Daehyun. He perfectly assured that the pain in his hyung’s heart was still because of a certain giant with large ears that looked like elf in their groups. By all of reasons that he could mention, unlike he and Luhan who have to experience the long distance relationship but still in good circumstances, Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s relationship was more complicated and there were too much ups and downs.

Sehun used his today date with Luhan to discuss about his two bothersome hyung’s relationship. As the youngest in the group, Sehun had an obligation to keep all hyungs in good contact with each other. It also implicated Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s relationship. Ever since they chose to end their relationship few months ago, Sehun aware that Chanyeol and Baekhyun avoided each other as if one of them was plagued that should be avoided in order to not get infected.

Sehun knew Baekhyun always went to a bar few blocks from their dorm every night if they didn’t have any scheduled that forced them to work until late. Sehun knew Chanyeol always shut himself in his private studio located on a floor below their dorm level every time Daehyun with Baekhyun in his room. Sehun knew the atmosphere on the dinner table would be heavy and awkward whenever the two joined the others to eat. Sehun truly knew all his hyungs also aware of the situations between them, but they couldn’t do anything to mend their relationship. It was their own problem to solve.

According to Sehun, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were two persons who could be easily to read like an open book to him.

Luhan nodded as a sign that he heard his lover’s story while he Sehun’s hand on his hold with his thumb. Luhan was aware about Sehun’s personality that can’t leave out the messy things and his urge to tidy it up. It didn’t change since they were still trainee. Luhan also agreed with Sehun who wanted the best for his ex-band mates. Sehun wanted to help the hyungs to fix their broken relationship and so Luhan gave a few helpful advices in hope that it can be used to stitch up  Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s wound.

Their talk was interrupted with a loud ringing sound coming from Luhan’s phone on the table. Sehun pouted just show his disapproval because it was the unspoken rules for them to deactivate their phones whenever they got together. Luhan just pecked Sehun on the cheek before he swiped his phone screen. There was one message from Jongdae.

Hyung, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got an accident last night. They are currently in hospital. I have tried to inform Baekhyun and Sehun but the operator said they couldn’t be reached at the moment, so I decided to message you. Sorry if by any chance I disturb your date.

Luhan blankly looked at the phone on his hand and passed the square device to Sehun. Sehun read it carefully, word by word, scared that he wouldn’t get the meaning per characters written on Luhan’s phone. He dive his hand to his pants pocket to turn on his phone.

17 missed calls. 39 unread messages.

After he read all the messages sent by his band mates, Sehun understood what the messages meant. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got an accident. He reached his wine glass that he left and sipped anything that left there to wet his sudden dry throat. When he glanced to Luhan from the corner of his eyes, Luhan was attempting to wake Baekhyun up to tell the bad news.

Sehun was afraid.

He feared with Baekhyun’s reaction when he heard it later.

******

Shocked was an understatement for describing his feeling right now. Shocked, sad, afraid, anxious, worried and among of all, he felt guilty. All the feelings mixed in his inner self when Luhan woke him minutes ago. His drunkenness suddenly lifted and he sobered after Luhan said that Chanyeol was in hospital.

Baekhyun’s world stayed still. His hand trembled violently as he sought a name in his contact list on his phone. The ringtone from other line felt like forever when the fact was it hadn’t even hit its third ring yet. On the fourth ring, the person picked his call.

“Jongdae! Please tell me, is he okay?” Baekhyun couldn’t hide his worrisome from his voice. His pride can go to hell for all he cared. He thrown it away for this moment and can’t be bothered with it when Chanyeol was in unknown state. Jongdae hadn’t even had the time to answer when Baekhyun yelled his name desperately.

“Jongdae!”

“He just became conscious. He hit his head against the pavement so hard and he just got out from the surgery room this morning. But all in all, he is okay.”

“I’m glad…” Baekhyun unabled to hold back his tears any longer and let it slid on his soft cheeks. The worst scenarios kept replaying in his head since he heard that Chanyeol was in hospital because of that accident. Even though Kyungsoo also the victim, but his centre attention was in Chanyeol. They can call him a cruel friend but his focus was only on Chanyeol right now.

Although their relationship worsened in these few months, Baekhyun still feared that Chanyeol would leave him to the place he couldn’t reach. Chanyeol could leave him forever. Without Baekhyun apologized to him and without Chanyeol said the farewell words. Chanyeol could have been died. His chanyeol.

Their relationship was really complicated to the point that sometimes he even didn’t understand about it. But they had too many history and memory to be remembered about.

“Baekhyun, calm yourself. I want to tell you something important but I can’t do it if you can’t cool down first.”

Baekhyun set off his phone from his ear awhile and stared at it weirdly. How could Jongdae hoping him to keep his head cool when the person who used he loved the most in the past (honestly it still until now, he just wouldn’t admit it) involved in accident and Baekhyun himself was currently in thousand miles away from that very person. Baekhyun inhaled deeply as he wiped his tears with his sleeve, “Tell me about it.”

“Chanyeol is amnesia. Antor or antero or whatever the the doctor called it.”

Baekhyun tongue-tied before he processed the information he received and asked, “He didn’t remember anything?”

“No, it isn’t like that. The doctor said that his memories stopped around the end of 2013. The last activity that he remember he did was when we shot show time for the first episode, Baek.”

Though two years hadn’t passed yet, he felt that their shoot for the show time was a long time ago. At that time, everyone was still happy, everything was still in the right place and there weren’t any dramas that forced them to take a part on it. Chanyeol with his snapback which covered his dark hair and his unique protruding ears and he—

“Baekhyun, Chanyeol thought you guys are still together. He said that he missed you and couldn’t wait to meet you.”

“I’ll go home.” was the simplest line he spoke without his mind could even think anything. He would go home as fast as possible to meet Chanyeol and know his condition. As soon as possible to be by his side. Maybe he would kiss Chanyeol’s pain away on his body if he needed so Chanyeol could feel better quickly.

Still with his trembling hands, he tried to book a plane ticket for him tonight. He couldn’t care with the price or the class, as long as he landed safely and can be on Chanyeol side as early as possible. His movement stopped by Luhan’s hand and Sehun’s gaze.

Baekhyun realized that the world was not on his side when Sehun spoke, “Hyung, the last flight for tonight just flew few minutes ago.”

*****

The noise pollution in the morning which came from outside his room was the reason he woke up from his sleep in dawn. The echoing footsteps followed by strained voices were the source of morning noise that Chanyeol heard. The sun hadn’t even rise from its origin and it was the same with Chanyeol. But Chanyeol knew it was already morning because the chirping sound coming from birds in spring was his favourite music to listen to since he was still in middle school.

Chanyeol blinked his eyes several times, adjusting the lights that began creeping into his retina and at that time Chanyeol was surprised by the slamming door on his room. Automatically, Chanyeol turned his head and saw Baekhyun stood few metres away from him in the doorway. He was panting and sweat trickled down on his forehead. Did Baekhyun just run to meet him?

“Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun calmly took one step closer to the bed where Chanyeol slept on. He extended his hand to reach him but he retreated right away. Why Baekhyun refused to touch him? Why he just froze there and wouldn’t want to come close to him?

He walked to Chanyeol’s side eventually.

Chanyeol’s eyes which full of questions and met Baekhyun’s one with full of concern and relief.

“What took you so long?”

“How is your feeling?”

They asked two different questions simultaneously.

They just stared at each other eyes as if they could look onto their deepest soul instead of answering the questions which they uttered a minute ago.

Chanyeol studied Baekhyun’s face which slightly different from the last time he remember him. Baekhyun looked more pretty and mature with the smudged eyeliner which framed his droopy beautiful honey eyes and Chanyeol can see the dark eye bags under it. His dark brown hair was longer and it gave y and adorable vibes at the same time. His skin also looked so bright, soft and smooth and Chanyeol wondered if it would be as smooth as it seemed if he touched it.

The man in front of him was still the same Baekhyun, but he was also a stranger. Could it make any sense?

They spent a good few minutes just for staring each other’s features before one of them broke the silence.

“Are you okay, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked again without tearing his gaze away from Chanyeol’s handsome face as though if he didn’t look at him for a second, Chanyeol would be disappeared along with the thin air.

“Aside from amnesia and few fractured bones, yes, I’m over all okay, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol answered cheekily and he offered his wide smile that shown his gum to Baekhyun. Baekhyun threw his body on a chair beside the bad and started sobbing with his hands covering his face.

“Don’t cry, Baek. I can’t hug you tightly to comfort you with my current situation.” Baekhyun didn’t lift his head from his hands when Chanyeol said that. Chanyeol’s words only made him bawled harder than before.

Chanyeol patted Baekhyun’s head affectionately without saying any word. He put all his attention to Baekhyun and only Baekhyun.

“You can hold my hand though, if it will make you better knowing that I’m really okay.” Chanyeol offered his right hand to Baekhyun that Baekhyun responded with him eyeing his large hand that almost twice his size. The same hand that used to intertwine with his hand whenever the nervous feeling washed over him before they performed.

“Chanyeol, I— we—”

“I know, Baek. I know that we broke up. That’s just my wishful thinking, who knows that you will….. Ah, let’s forget it. I’m just embarrassing myself in front of you.”

******