Baekhyun checks the hour on his phone for the nth time. It’s just about fifteen minutes for their flight to be announced and Chanyeol has yet to arrive. His husband was supposed to be there with him two hours ago, he had promised to try and hurry with the very important and sudden meeting he informed him he had to attend this morning before they parted ways to their respective jobs. The trip had been planned with three months of anticipation; Baekhyun had made sure to plan everything with enough time ahead so Chanyeol would be able to clear his schedule by then.

Baekhyun should have known that, while he was working really hard to have all of his workload finished by that date, Chanyeol would be adding up more to his list of commitments, forgetting about his promise and compromises with him, as always. He should have known, believing in Chanyeol’s word was as naïve as to think his husband would actually care enough to try.

The voice of the woman through the speakers, announcing the boarding to their plane will be starting soon manages to startle him. He looks at the hour again and lets out a long and defeated sigh because well, if it was for him, he would just leave and enjoy those much needed and well-deserved vacations by himself, but alas, Chanyeol had insisted on being him the one keeping the tickets, arguing how messy and careless Baekhyun could be sometimes. Right.

There’s nothing else left to do for him at the airport, so he takes his bags and leaves, that familiar heavy feeling in chest sinking down.

It’s been going on like this for a while now. Baekhyun can’t really recall the moment it all started to crumble down right in front of him.

He had met Chanyeol back in college, when they both had a clear vision of their own future and an addition like this to their lives wasn’t on the plan, but after a lot of dates, a lot of warm smiles, gentle touches and passionate nights, they both decided that changes were good and so, a very hot day during their last summer break in college later, and after Chanyeol had almost drown in the pool of the party they were in by being drunk of his , he proposed: blabbered words and cheesy lines, making the promise of a wedding during winter season ─because none of them was really fond of the heat─, after they both landed their first stable job.

And it happened, an emotional wedding that had both Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s parents crying; memorable moments that they still keep captured on pictures on the photo album they have in a box under their bed along with a lot more memories of that day. A honeymoon that Baekhyun made sure they would never forget and the start of a new life that definitely wasn’t on their original plans. But changes were good, and Chanyeol was the greatest change he agreed on. Chanyeol made him happy, very much so; it felt like he had nothing to lose and so much to win. Or so he thought.

Baekhyun would like to remember when and how, maybe it started the day Chanyeol came home with a wide smile on his face and took him out for dinner to celebrate that much awaited promotion. After a long time, he had finally scored the spot of the head of the administrative department and he had to just take it from there. Maybe it started that night Chanyeol called him to let him know he wasn’t going to make it to his surprise birthday party Chanyeol himself organized.

The calls to let him know he would be late from work gradually ceased, he deemed it as Chanyeol thinking he would already know what was going on and so, the text messages also stopped. He can’t remember when the last time he received one from his husband was. Chanyeol would come home way into the night, crumpled shirt and swollen eyes, to wake up just a couple of hours later to get ready and leave again. There were no more dinners together, no more breakfasts nor half empty coffee mugs and rushed kisses in the morning.

Baekhyun remembers how many times he has tried to do something to fix whatever was wrong between them. Dates, lazy weekends, visits to their parents’ houses, lunch breaks, the idea of getting a dog so they could take it out for walks and spend some quality time together, all cancelled and rejected by Chanyeol because he simply didn’t have the time to do any of those things anymore, but with the promise of make it up to him, sometime, someday. He knew his job wasn’t as demanding as Chanyeol’s but that didn’t mean his husband couldn’t take a five minutes break to text him, Baekhyun didn’t care what, just one text would be enough for him. Baekhyun decided to just stop, there was no point on keep trying anyway.

Baekhyun started to feel left out, alone in that big apartment with no one to make him company. Chanyeol started going out to business’ dinner parties, business gatherings and more business compromises that Baekhyun thought, as Chanyeol’s husband, would be invited too. Chanyeol had casually commented, when they happened to be in the same room and not immersed on their own business, how his co-workers wives, partners and such, would attend those events. Baekhyun didn’t dare to ask at that time, too scare to start a fight he didn’t really have the energies to fight; Chanyeol hadn’t bothered on saying anything else about the subject either.

He honestly thinks that there’s nothing more of their relationship to salvage, Chanyeol doesn’t seem to care about him anymore and he’s tired of trying, tired of waiting for a sign that in fact, they can still save their marriage and go back to be happy. Because happiness is not a word on Baekhyun’s vocabulary anymore, he’s just… getting on with it, used to the familiarity their apartment and Chanyeol’s smell on his pillow and his clothes when Baekhyun sits on the floor of the laundry room and presses the pieces of fabric to his nose on a desperate attempt to feel his husband close again, offers him. He’s afraid to admit that it scares him to death the mere thought of being alone, or more so, of being without Chanyeol. For him, Chanyeol represents everything: safety, happiness, smiles, cheesy words, feeding each other not minding at all the fact of being on public places, warm cuddles during the coldest winters and home, Chanyeol is home… well, at least he used to be.

He sits now, crossed legs on the couch of the living room with his blanket wrapped around his shoulders and a book on his hands, a bag of barbeque chips next to him. It’s around three in the morning, twelve hours later and still no sign of Chanyeol, not a call, not a text to at least apologize. Nothing and it’s just then when the thought settles on Baekhyun’s mind; he can’t take this anymore, he won’t; he doesn’t deserve this. Baekhyun has already made up his mind, and nothing will change it this time.

…

Chanyeol puffs his cheeks as he types the code on the security pad and sighs. He’s tired, his back and neck ache, he’s also hungry, his brain is pounding hard against his skull, he’s sure his eyes are red and swollen, and his muscles are tense. The only thing he wants right now is a warm bath, a hot cup of tea and get into bed, cuddle with his husband, sleep and not wake up until late. He finally, finally finished with the workload he had left and scored himself two weeks off, his first vacations since he started to work for that company.

Silence and darkness greet him the moment he steps into the apartment. Baekhyun must be asleep by now, so he carefully removes his jacket to hang it on the hook near the door and removes his shoes, he turns the light of the foyer on so he won’t trip with anything, noise is the last thing he wants right now. It’s only then that he sees them, Baekhyun’s suitcase and handbag next to the glass table; it takes him a moment before realization hits him, hard. Their trip. He completely forgot about it, too caught up on finishing everything that he didn’t even thought about sending Baekhyun a text or call him. His heart is racing, hitting against his ribcage and a dreaded feeling on his stomach. Baekhyun is going to be pissed, that’s for sure and he’ll have all the right to be, he had been planning that trip for over three months, which Chanyeol had thought to be a little exaggerated, but seeing the excitement on his husband’s face, the shine on his eyes and that smile that still makes his heart flutters was worth it, so Chanyeol let him be.

There's a dim light coming from the living room. Chanyeol frowns because is not like Baekhyun to leave any lights on before going to bed, so he turns around the wall that separates the foyer from the living room to find his husband sitting on the couch, seemingly focused on the book on his hands. Baekhyun doesn't acknowledge his presence even when he sits next to him, almost crushing the bag of chips with his thigh.

"Baek."

"You're home." Baekhyun says, absentmindedly.

"Uh yeah, I... I intended to call you earlier but─"

"Liar."

"What?" Chanyeol is quick to respond, confused frown on his face.

"You didn't intend to call me, you forgot about it. Just as you forgot about what were supposed to do today." Baekhyun says, still pretending to be reading.

"Baek, I'm really─"

"No, stop. Don't you dare to say you're sorry." Baekhyun finally puts the book down and removes the blankets to stand up. "Not again, Chanyeol."

"We can reschedule the trip, we can leave tomorrow and keep up with your plans." Chanyeol offers on a desperate attempt to fix what he’s done. He knows how important this was for his husband.

Baekhyun lets out a bitter laugh. "My plans, exactly. You never cared. There won't be any trip. Not now, not ever."

Chanyeol blinks, his confusion growing at every passing second. "Okay, now I think you're just overacting. You can’t be serious right now, it’s just a trip, we can reschedule it for tomorrow." He says, getting on his feet as well.

Baekhyun scowls and opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, skeptic of the words leaving Chanyeol’s mouth. "This is isn't just about this trip, Chanyeol. I'm tired of waiting for you. I'm tired of sitting here waiting for the moment you'll decide I am worthy enough of your time. I'm tired of wishing you'd see me as your husband again and not just as another pillow in your bed. I'm tired of being your second choice and I'm tired of being invisible in my own house."

"Baekhyun─"

"I'm done, Chanyeol."

"What─ what do you mean?" Chanyeol mumbles, his voice breaks at the same time a small tear starts to form in the corner of his eyes.

"I want a divorce."

"What?" Chanyeol blinks, breathing starting to race.

"You heard me right."

"No." Chanyeol shakes his head, refusing to meet Baekhyun's eyes. The fact that Baekhyun's not even hesitating with his words and that there's not a single trace of doubt in his eyes hurt. So much.

"Don't make it harder than what it has to be."

"You can't do this, Baekhyun. I love you, I─"

"Such a way of loving someone." Baekhyun says as he walks towards the door.

"Baekhyun, wait." Chanyeol reacts fast and follows his husband, grabbing him by the arm to stop him. "What are you doing? Where are you going? You can’t just─"

"I'll be staying with Kyungsoo in the meantime. I'll send the divorce papers sometime in the next week." He says, trying to pull away from Chanyeol's hold.

"Baekhyun, please."

"Let me go, Chanyeol."

"No, no." The taller shakes his head, ignoring the tears soaking his face. He can't think straight, everything hurts. "I can fix it; let me fix it, Baekhyun... please." He pleads.

Baekhyun feels in that moment his heart shattering. He doesn't want to cry, he doesn't want his weaknesses out right now, because he's sure of what he's doing, but seeing Chanyeol like that, breaking in front him it's hard. Baekhyun clenches his jaw and holds his breath to avoid the tears from falling. He loves Chanyeol, he never stopped doing it and he thinks he will never be able to stop, he just can't keep doing this anymore. This is the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

"You're hurting me, let me go." Baekhyun struggles in Chanyeol’s arms.

"No." Chanyeol still refuses. Baekhyun pulls on his arm trying not to hurt himself and not hurt Chanyeol. But the taller keeps his hold and tightens it.

Baekhyun gasps when suddenly Chanyeol pulls him closer to his body, wrapping his arm around his waist to stop him from going away and forces him into a kiss. Their mouths crash against each other painfully and Baekhyun groans, using his hands to try and break away from his husband. Chanyeol bites and pulls on his lower lip; Baekhyun lets out a cry of pain, gathering the strength to finally push him away. Chanyeol feels it before he sees it, Baekhyun's palm collapses against his cheek leaving a burning sensation on his skin.

"Don't you ever dare to do that again." Baekhyun snarls, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, seeing on his skin a small trail of blood from his lips. "Don't try to get in touch with me." He says as he gathers his stuff. "I'll contact you soon."

…

"I can’t believe he did that." Kyungsoo mumbles, softly brushing his thumb over Baekhyun’s wounded lip. He shakes his head and hands Baekhyun a cup of steaming tea. “Does it hurt?” Baekhyun shakes his head and sighs. “How are you feeling?”

"Terrible.” Baekhyun answers. “I honestly don't know how I managed to do it. You should have seen him, I─ I couldn't stand seeing him like that." Baekhyun bites on his lower lip, hissing at the small pinch of pain it produces him.

"Baek, maybe you should reconsider things. This is hurting you both."

"No, I've had enough. Even if I still love him, nothing assures me that once I forgive him, things will change. I don't want to stay stuck in that hole for the rest of my life."

Kyungsoo nods. "I understand and you know you're welcome to stay as long as you need, okay?"

"Thanks."

"And if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"Thank you, really."

Kyungsoo chuckles and smiles, wrapping his arms around his friend on a comforting hug. "No problem." They stay like that for a moment. Baekhyun leans his head on Kyungsoo's shoulder and sniffles, thankful to his friend.

A moment later they hear the front door opening and they take that as their cue to slowly break away. Kyungsoo keeps his arm around Baekhyun's back, rubbing soothing patterns on his arm.

"Hey, guys." Jongin greets them as he makes his way towards his husband.

"Hi, honey." Kyungsoo smiles the moment Jongin leaves a kiss on his cheek.

"I hope this isn't a bother." Baekhyun says to Jongin.

"Oh, no. Not at all, don't worry." Jongin assures him.

"How is he doing?" Baekhyun asks, worriedly.

"Not good." He sighs. "When he told me this morning... he could barely bring himself to speak."

Baekhyun looks down at the table, trying to focus his eyes on his drink instead. But it's hard to ignore the sting in his chest and the burnt in his eyes. "Would you─ would you mind keeping an eye on him? You know how impulsive he can be." Baekhyun mumbles.

"Yes, of course."Jongin pats his friend's back.

"Go shower, dinner will be ready in ten minutes." Kyungsoo tells him, Jongin nods and disappears on the hall.

"You should do the same and then get some rest. I bet you haven't slept at all."

"I'm not hungry."

Kyungsoo nods. "It's alright, you can eat later, but at least get some sleep."

Baekhyun sighs and nods too. Kyungsoo gives him a last squeeze and lets him go. Baekhyun doesn't bother on turning any lights on, he keeps the curtains on the windows closed as he lies in bed, hugging one of the pillows close to his body while with the other he covers his face, there's no point on keep trying to hold back the tears. The pain in his chest becomes unbearable as time passes and he asks himself if doing this was the right thing to do. Just by remembering the expression on Chanyeol's face makes it hurt even more, he never intended to hurt him like this, he had actually thought that Chanyeol wasn't going to care, he honestly thought his still husband was just going to let him go.

He remembers all the reasons that bring him to do this and shakes the second thoughts out of his head. He can't back out now.

...

By Thursday next week, Chanyeol holds the divorce papers in his hands. Baekhyun's signature already there, mocking and screaming at his face how pathetic he is. The date for a meeting with their respective lawyers is inside a small envelope, along with a handwritten letter from Baekhyun that Chanyeol doesn't have the guts to read; he doesn't want to know what else Baekhyun has to say to him, Chanyeol doesn't think he's strong enough.

Chanyeol returns the papers into the manila envelope along with the smaller one, not ready to sign just yet. He leaves the envelope on the coffee table and gets on his feet, ready to return to bed, the only thing he can be thankful right now, is that he doesn't have to get up the next morning to go to work.

...

Baekhyun checks the hour on his phone and snorts, then again, he should have known. Now, he's sure that Chanyeol is one hell of an actor.

The restaurant is not so crowded and he's thankful for that. He and Chanyeol had always loved that place for the quiet atmosphere, plus the delicious food, and he thought there was no place better for them to try and talk things through.

Two hours, he sat there, apologizing to the waiter over and over again, and assuring him that his husband was coming. Two hours and a hald and he gets tired of waiting, once again. He pays the bill for the three cups of coffee and the slice of strawberry cheesecake he ate and leaves.

"I told you it was useless." Baekhyun mumbles as he slumps down on the couch next to Kyungsoo. A sulking expression on his face.

"You sure you gave him the right address?" Kyungsoo tries to excuse his other friend.

"We know that place like the palm of our hands, Soo. I feel so stupid right now." Baekhyun groans and rolls his head back. He tried, again.

…

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