Author's note:

The story finally continues :) Sorry it took so long :")

Seasons passed. It was as if someone had pressed a fast forward button on their lives. Time just simply zipped by so quickly.

Or maybe it was their hectic schedules that gave off that impression. Jae wasn’t sure. But before he knew it, autumn had arrived. If he looked out the dorm window, he could see the trees with their warm autumn colors.

The seasons were changing, but he wasn’t. He stayed the same— the same Park Jaehyung that everyone knew.

Or did he?

Brian stayed the same. Jae was sure of that. Months had passed since the day they were laying on the dorm floor, staring at the ceiling. The day that Jae had set the definition of their relationship—

Friends.

That’s what they were. Friends. Friends who became awkward after an incident in a haunted house. Friends whose awkwardness went away after one had informed the other that it was all nothing, and to pretend that it all never happened.

And that was what they did. They pretended that it never happened. Jae had convinced himself that the weird clenching feeling on his heart was gone, gone forever. He assumed that Brian felt the same.

So they continued. They continued their lives in that sweet, comfortable, and safe bubble of friendship. Jae could throw an arm around the younger man’s shoulders without feeling weird. He could stay in one room alone with that same person, without having to fear that his heart was beating too loudly. They did their usual day-to-day activities— practicing, performing, eating, sleeping, playing, producing, and things that the normal Jae and Brian would do.

Everything was back to normal. And Jae was happy with it.

Or at least that was what he thought.

Jae might have frozen that metaphorical clock that Brian had imagined— might have broken it, even. But it was slowly fixing itself. Soon it would tick, slowly and unsurely. But it would surely begin to move. One tick. Two ticks. And it would keep going, completing a full circle across the clock’s face.

And the hands of that clock would continue, gliding easily. Around and around and around.

There were moments when Jae doubted himself.

Amidst what should have been their normal, usual lives, there were moments where his heart would skip a beat. Where, for a few seconds, he would suddenly forget how to properly breathe.

Moments like those weren’t big or grand in any way. On the contrary, they were subtle and small. Moments such as those should have been brushed off easily as nothing.

They were moments when Jae would catch Brian’s eye from across the stage, and the bassist would grin at him before singing into the microphone. Moments when they would stay up till the wee hours of the morning in their room, chatting quietly as Dowoon slept soundly in the bunk above. Moments when they would be working on a song for hours, their fingers sore from strumming and plucking at guitar strings, and Brian would let out a tired laugh and ask Jae what time it was.

Just small, subtle moments. It was moments like those when Jae would feel strange. As if he was missing something. Something that should have been obvious yet he refused to even acknowledge it.

It was a strange feeling that told him that the kiss he had given to Brian— all those months ago— actually meant something. He had previously convinced himself that he felt nothing. Nothing at all. We’re friends, and I just kissed you to prove that I feel nothing more than friendship towards you. See? Nothing. I feel nothing.

But another small, subtle moment would come. Brian would look at him with that same, bright smile on his face, and Jae would suddenly find it difficult to breathe, doubt emerging yet again.

And he would try hard to convince himself (all over again) that it was nothing.

Doubt. Convince. Doubt. Convince. Repeat.

Repeat.

It was an endless repeat. A repetition.

It was an endless repetition that Jae continued to live with. But he endured. Believing that the repetition would just become a familiar habit, he tried hard to get used to it.

He never got used to it.

It was 11 o’clock at night and the dorm’s occupants were asleep.

Everyone except Jae.

His tall body taking up the whole couch, Jae aggressively pressed the buttons of the new game console that he finally managed to buy. Dowoon had borrowed it throughout the whole day (the oldest member couldn’t help but let him. One does not simply say no to Yoon Dowoon’s puppy eyes), so Jae was determined to at least beat the maknae’s latest high score.

The familiar sound of a key turning in the front door’s knob caught his attention. He quickly paused the game and sat up.

The door slowly swung open and a very tired-looking Brian walked in. He seemed to stagger in his steps until he saw Jae sitting on the couch. Then he pulled on a small smile and began to walk more firmly.

“Yo,” Jae said, not moving from his seat. “Where were you?”

“Studio,” Brian answered. He was wearing a thick jacket, but he rubbed his hands together for warmth. “Sudden inspiration struck and I just had to write it all down before it disappeared. I told Sungjin I was coming home late.”

“I see.”

The bassist stood in front of the door of their shared room, hand hovering over the doorknob. “Is Dowoonie asleep?”

“Everyone’s asleep.”

“Ah.” Brian dropped his hand. “I wouldn’t want to wake him up.”

“He’ll wake up anyways when I get in. That door’s creaky as hell.”

“Which is why I’ll wait for you to open it first.” The younger of the two grinned. “You’ll be the one that wakes him up and feel the maknae wrath.”

“ you.”

Brian laughed again. Jae tried to ignore it— that subtle, strange feeling.

The feeling disappeared when a sudden growl rang across the room. It was so loud that Jae thought it’d wake up the whole apartment.

Brian’s face grew redder by the second. “That wasn’t me,” he declared. Betraying him, his stomach let out another desperate growl.

Jae rolled his eyes. “You’re hungry. Come here. I’ll fix you something.” He wasn’t exactly the best cook in the world, but he could easily make his friend’s self-claimed ‘soul food’.

Ten seconds later and Brian was seated at the table, eagerly holding onto a pair of chopsticks. “So what’s on the menu tonight, Chef Park?”

“Ramen,” the older said simply, rummaging through the cabinets in their small kitchen and grabbing a cup of instant noodles. “5-star ramen.”

Brian threw his hands up in exaggerated joy. “Yay!”

Jae couldn’t help but let a small smile spread across his face. Pouring hot water from the dorm’s dispenser into the cup, he began to hum.

“What’s that?” Brian asked.

“Hm?”

“The song you’re humming.”

“Ah.” Jae added the ingredients, watching the mess of unhealthiness becoming one. He needed to make sure Brian didn’t eat anymore of this for the whole week. “A guitar solo I’m working on.”

“Sounds great so far.”

“Why, thank you.”

The older took a seat next to his friend, setting the cup of ramen on the table. While waiting for the noodles to soften, they chatted in low, quiet voices.

“So how’s the song you’re working on?”

“Hmm,” Brian mumbled, thinking for a bit. “I got all the lyrics and melody down. Might need a lot of revision though.”

Jae would always be amazed by how quickly his friend worked. “We could go to the studio later and do some intense composing.”

The younger grinned. “Sounds like a plan.”

Two minutes later and Brian was bent over the cup in front of him, slurping noodles.

Jae could hear the wall clock ticking faintly in the background. Wondering what time it was, he found himself staring at his friend more than he should have.

It was nice, really, moments like these. Everything was so calm and he happily basked in that calmness.

Suddenly, Brian held out the chopsticks to him. A wad of noodles hung from it. “Here, have some.”

Jae blinked. “What? Nah, bro, it’s for you.”

“Come on, I’ll feel like an ungrateful if I eat it by myself.”

“All right, all right.”

Growing up in the States, Jae wasn’t that fond of skinship or the showing of affection between guys. It was quite a culture shock for when he began living in Korea. He soon got used to seeing other people’s public displays of affection, but never actually initiated it himself or was on the receiving end. It wasn’t as if s were especially touchy of each other, either. Sungjin avoided skinship as if it was the plague. Brian would shower only Dowoon with affection, but then again, everyone in the band showered Dowoon with affection. Especially Wonpil. How many times did Jae walk in on Wonpil cuddling with Dowoon in the maknae’s bed?

(Jae, on the other hand, would stare with laser eyes at Wonpil whenever the younger would randomly run up to him and kiss him on the cheek.)

So when Brian offered to spoonfeed him, Jae should have hesitated.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he leaned forwards, lips closing around the chopsticks and in the noodles in mere seconds. With a satisfied smile, he leaned back against the chair and chewed with gusto.

So maybe he was just really hungry. Or too sleepy to think.

He didn’t expect Brian’s face to turn a light shade of pink.

“So yeah,” the younger of the two mumbled, eyes a little wide as if in surprise. “Tomorrow. Intense song composing. Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Jae replied.

Brian suddenly got up and fetched himself a glass of water. He sat down again, drinking feverishly.

“I like quiet moments like this,” Jae said, glancing around the empty dorm. “Everything is usually loud and noisy— Well, I contribute a lot to that noise, but still—” He paused. “It’s just nice.”

Brian nodded, still gulping down water.

If Jae could slap himself for saying what he said next, he would. “I wonder if this is what parents feel like when they're chatting quietly at night while the whole house is asleep.”

What the , Jae? What the actual ?

While Jae was busy cursing and slapping himself in his mind, Brian choked. The younger bent over, coughing and trying to stay cool at the same time.

A couple moments passed for them to both calm down. Brian set down his glass and resumed his ramen-eating as if nothing happened. “But,” he said between bites. “Isn’t Sungjin, like, our dad?”

“I guess he could be the cranky grandpa,” Jae said with a snicker, somehow having recovered himself as well. “The cranky grandpa that keeps scolding his grandkids.”

Brian laughed. He shook his head in disbelief. “Geez.”

Suddenly another voice joined them. A familiar, deep voice across the room.

“Hyuuuuung.”

They both jumped in their seats and turned around to see a sleepy Yoon Dowoon walking towards them. The maknae was wiping an eye with the sleeve of his shirt, letting out a small yawn.

“And here’s our youngest kid,” Brian muttered, earning another crazy giggle from Jae. “What’s wrong, Dowoonie? Did we wake you up?”

“I smelled ramen,” Dowoon answered. “And then my stomach started growling.”

Brian pouted his lips. “Oh, my poor baby.” He held out his hands to the maknae. “Here, sit on my lap. There’s still some left.”

And that’s how the night ended— with Dowoon slurping noodles in front of the table, his full weight on Brian’s lap, the older’s arms wrapped around his body. And there was Jae, watching the sight with a warm smile on his face.

Yup, Jae confirmed. Quiet moments like these are so, very nice.

Weeks passed when Brian failed to return early to the dorm again.

Again.

Jae glanced at his watch. It was well past midnight. Brian had informed them in the Day6 group chat that he was going home late.

But this was a little too late for Jae’s liking. So he decided to throw on his winter jacket and make his way to the JYP building (after waking up a sleepy Park Sungjin and telling the leader where he was going).

Snow crunched under Jae’s feet as he walked the nearly empty streets. A cold wind blew at his body and he wondered if he should have worn thicker clothes. He didn’t do much thinking before leaving the dorm.

He saw his breath hanging in the air, coming out in small puffs, glowing in the light of the streetlamps. Was Brian cold as well? Was the heater well in whatever room he was in?

Jae shook his head. Since when did he worry so much for the younger member?

He wasn’t surprised to see Brian fast asleep in the studio. That kid could literally fall asleep anywhere.

Still seated in front of the computer, Brian used his arms as a pillow on the table, eyes closed and breathing steady.

The oldest Day6 member walked up to him, quietly making sure to shut the door quietly before doing so.  The closer he got to his friend, the more objects he could see surrounding Brian.

Sheets and sheets of paper, strewn all over the wooden table. Words were scrawled across the sheets, some scratched out and some circled.

A pencil lay close to Brian’s fingers— probably the result of him falling asleep mid-sentence. Under the pencil was another piece of paper, tucked comfortably underneath the bassist’s hands.

Curious and amused, Jae carefully pulled at the paper until he had completely freed it.  He read it over, paying attention to every letter.

The room’s heater was at the right temperature. And yet…

Jae felt cold. And it wasn’t the effect of just escaping the freezing weather outside. But it was because once again, Brian had written another sad song.

It wasn’t something new. Brian had always written sad songs, switching in between upbeat and happy ones as well. But lately, he had been writing more and more depressing lyrics. Lyrics that hurt and were raw with emotion.

Of course, they were well written. Brian was an amazing song writer, Jae had admitted many times. But aside from the aesthetics of the words, Jae couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in Brian’s mind when he wrote them.

And this… this paper that he held now in his hands was conveying another story of a broken-hearted man.

It was painful, really. Somehow, the lyrics really got to Jae. What was going on?

He could only sigh and glance at his sleeping friend. “What past relationships did you go through to write this?” Jae muttered under his breath, sure that his voice fell on deaf ears. “Who broke your heart?” A pause. “If it was me… I wouldn’t have broken your heart like that.”

I would have taken good care of you, he almost continued, but quickly stopped himself. For a few seconds, he stood there, shocked at his own words.

Finally overcoming the shock, Jae slowly and carefully lifted Brian’s fingers to slip the paper underneath them again. The younger’s hand was warm underneath his own. Jae furrowed his brow, wondering if his friend was sick. Brian was wearing a thick, wool sweater so he should have been protected from the cold…

Jae should have woken him up. It was so late at night and they should be heading back to the dorm soon. Plus, Brian’s sleeping position looked incredibly uncomfortable.

But he couldn’t help but notice how peaceful Brian looked. It looked as if the bassist had become younger, all traces of stress and worry gone from his face. He just looked really, really calm and Jae didn’t have the heart to wake him up.

So the older of the two grabbed onto a nearby chair and set it beside Brian’s seat. After sending a quick text to Sungjin that he was staying the night at the studio, Jae let his head rest on the table, also using his arms as a pillow.

For a while, he watched Brian sleep. Then he felt his eyes flutter shut, and soon Jae was dozing off in his own dreamland.

Minutes passed when Brian slowly opened his eyes. His sleeping friend’s face only a few inches in front of him, he listened to the faint sound of the clock ticking.

He had already woken up the second that Jae entered the room.

The world a blurry mess in his eyes, Jae pulled the blanket over his chin.

He rolled over to his side, groaning.

What weird fate was it that Jae was the one that got sick?

He was alone in the room, sprawled over his own bed, and trying to ignore the insane headache and the fact that he was sweating like crazy. He shut his eyes, willing the pain to go away. At least he was sick on a schedule-free day. There was at least some comfort in that.

The door slowly opened. He heard the sound of footsteps and before he knew it, Brian was sitting next to him on the floor.

“Yo, Jae, you need to eat.”

“Uuuughhh.”

“Sit up, would you?”

“I said ugghhh.”

“Dude, I made soup for you and this is the thanks I get?”

Jae’s eyes flew open. “You what?”

“Soup. Homemade. By me. For you.”

“Is it edible?”

“Would you rather have Wonpil cook for you?”

“You have a point there.”

Brian helped him sit up. Jae tried to ignore the slight vertigo and finally focused on his friend.

Holding a big white bowl, the younger had a concerned expression on his face. “You should have worn thicker clothes last night.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jae replied, his voice weak. “It was a spur of the moment thing. Didn’t really think about it. You’re the idiot that fell asleep in the studio.”

“Well, I didn’t expect another idiot to come and fall asleep next to me.”

Jae didn’t know how to reply to that. Lately, he didn’t know why he did the things he did. That was just how he was.

Brian continued. “When I woke up, you were already burning. It felt like a freaking furnace was in front of me.”

“Yeah.”

“I had to drag your sorry back to the dorm.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, man.”

“Now eat the damn soup.”

“Such nice bedside manner,” Jae said with a small smirk. Brian rolled his eyes.

With shaky hands, the older tried and failed at least a dozen times to feed himself. Brian finally grabbed the spoon after Jae had dropped it again.

“I can eat by myself—”

“No, you can’t," Brian replied nonchalantly. "Now say ‘aah’.”

“Bro.”

“The sooner you finish, the sooner you can go back to sleep.”

Once again, Brian had a point. Setting his pride aside, Jae let his friend spoonfeed him until he had emptied the entire bowl. The soup wasn’t bad, nor was it particularly good. Or maybe his taste buds were just messed up because of the fever.

Either way, he was done and eager to hit the sheets again. So he let himself fall back on the bed with a light thud, closing his eyes almost instantly.

Without a word, Brian threw the blanket over him.

Jae’s voice was still weak as he commented, “Chef Kang gets ten points.” Grinning, he gratefully tucked one end of the blanket under his chin.

“Oh, wow. What an honor.”

Since when did Brian’s sarcasm become so comforting? Jae just shrugged it off and nuzzled deeper into the sheets.

Just as the younger was about to leave the room, Jae spoke again.

“Thanks, Brian.”

Jae's eyes were closed so he didn’t see the other person’s reaction. But the voice that answered was soft, and had a tad touch of fondness.

“You’re welcome.”

More weeks passed by.

The snow melted. Spring arrived, just like that.

Subtle moments continued to occur, one by one.

Doubt. Convince. Doubt. Convince. Repeat.

Repeat.

It was an endless repeat.

Jae wondered for how much longer he could continue to convince himself. How much longer he would endure the repetition.

He tried to, though. To endure. The truth was too scary for him to grasp.

Because really— how could he admit it? How could he put years of friendship in danger, and years of friendship that were to come?

How could he?

The metaphorical clock continued to tick.

How could he be in love with his own friend?

Tick.

With his own band member?

Tock.

With his own roommate?

Tick.

With…

The epiphany crashed over Jae like violent waves. It shook him to the core. But this time, instead of struggling to desperately hang on, he let himself be swept away.

...With Brian Kang?

Author's end note:

TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, JAE.

I promise that the next and last chapter (the last one for real, this time!) will be up soon ^_^

Feel free to leave a comment and we can scream about jaehyungparkian together :"D

Thanks for reading ❤