Parking in his usual space - well, what used to be usual - Jongin gets out of the car and tightly wraps his coat around his body. It has gotten so cold lately and he can't wait until he's let inside the house.

Quickly running up a few steps leading to the front door, he knocks on it three times and jumps around trying to get warm. No one answers him so he tries knocking a little louder, but no sound comes from the other side of the door.

An uneasy feeling grows in his stomach and Jongin decides to do something he had decided not to do again. He punches in the code of the house and quickly opens the door to get in.

There's silence inside too and for a moment he's lost.

Since it's a day-off in his company, Jongin decided to pick Tae up from kindergarten to make up for all those times he had to disappoint his son. Only for the teacher to tell him the day for 4 year olds had already ended. Jongin guessed Tae's mother had picked him up and were already eating in their warm house but entering his old house he was met with emptiness.

Of course there was only one logical thing for him to do and he should have done it even before he came all the way to their home. He pulled out his phone from his coat pocket and searched for her name in his contact list, but stopped. Contemplating for a few seconds, he decided against it and put down his device on the coffee table. After a quick run back to his car, he settled down on the couch and decided to finish extra work he had left to do. He didn't know how he felt in this house. Awkward after such a long time? Comfortable? He didn't know, so he just focused on the files in front of him which were the best solution to ignore everything.

Stepping down from the bus, you help Tae jump down and quickly pull down his hat so his ears won't freeze in the cold. He links his little hand with yours as you continue the walk to your house jumping around and singing a new song he learned today. When you reach your house and quickly open the door, Tae has already ran in and instantly you hear him yell. You step in immediately, your heart almost freezing from fear when you see the scene.

Jongin is seated on the couch, his laptop and a few papers on the coffee table in front of him and he is opening his arms to welcome Tae in his embrace.

You're frozen, oh how much you've missed this. Him just being close. In your family. But you don't let your fantasies take you any further, you need to be realistic and find out what's happening and what is he exactly doing in your house.

"What are you doing here?" you ask and immediately you're afraid that you were too harsh.

"I've been waiting for two hours." he responds, a little annoyance clear in his voice. "Where have you two been?"

"What do you mean." you return the question. "Why were you waiting for us?"

"I went to pick Tae from kindergarten and he wasn't there. Then I came here and he wasn't here either, so I decided to wait for when you'd finally come home." he says back and it feels like he's fighting back and you're not sure if you feel aggressiveness.

"Tae always finishes his school early on Fridays. I thought you'd know that." You answer again. You can feel he's not in the greatest mood and you don't want to make him any angrier.

"Tae, go wash your hands, you just came home." he tells your son suddenly and Tae runs off immediately after his father's request.

Jongin stands up and runs his fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply.

"And where were so for so long in this weather?" he asks, his eyes cold.

"When Tae's finished, I pick him up and take him to the office." you say calmly.

"Office? Since when do you work?" it's as if he wakes up, opening his eyes which are full of confusion.

"Don't I have to work now?" you ask with a little smile. "I live alone, you know..."

"But why do you have to work? Wouldn't it be easier for Tae if you were home?" he presses on. "Don't I send you enough money? I'll just send more."

"What am I, your nanny, Jongin?" you're surprised that you're not annoyed by now. "That's Tae's money, not mine. You don't own me anything. And Tae likes my workplace very much, the atmosphere is pleasant."

He fiddles with his hair once more, before he exhales and goes towards the bathroom.

"I'll say goodbye to Tae."

You lift your head. "You're leaving already? But didn't you want to spend time with Tae?"

"I have to leave." he says calmly.

"Jongin, did I say or do something wrong? Tell me if I did, okay? Why are you mad?" you plead even if you know you shouldn't.

"It's okay." he simply says and you know it's everything but.

You knock on the door and try to straighten your dress while holding Tae's hand. His heavy bag is weighing down your expensive coat and as much as you don't want it to ruin your dress, you'll have to wait a little longer. You can't afford to lose the coat or the dress, knowing that you probably won't have the possibility to buy something similar again. Living with Jongin used to be so much easier from the financial point of view.

The door opens and you're met with a kind smile of your mother-in-law as she quickly hoists Tae in his arm and begins to voice all the love he has for her precious grandson. She also manages to pull you inside and her warm embrace. She's caressing your hair and you can feel the warmth transfer to your body. Jongin's mother has always treated you as her own daughter, but after seeing you hurt because of her son, her affections for you seem to have grown much more. Her husband is quick to appear and help you put down Tae's bag and you immediately feel relief after the weight leaving your shoulders.

"You carried this all the way here?" he asks worriedly. "You could have called and I'd pick you two up." he shakes his head.

"It's okay." you quickly assure. "I tried not to pack much but Tae refused to leave most of his toys." Tae is staying over with his grandparents since you've been invited to a birthday party and he seems to be as happy as ever.

"You look amazing, honey." Jongin's mother smiles kindly and fixes hair on your forehead. "Come back and stay here after the party, okay? You'll still have to come over tomorrow for the dinner." You want nothing more than to say yes to her invitation.

"No, it's okay." you assure her. "I can go home and come back tomorrow." She's hosting a big family dinner tomorrow and she insists that you attend, no exceptions.

She just shakes her head and wraps my coat tighter around my body. "It's cold outside, don't catch a cold."

You smile in response and nod.

“I’ll drive you to the party.” Jongin’s father tells you and reaches to pick up his coat.

“No, no. Don’t bother, my friend will be waiting to pick me up.” You know it’s obvious that you’re lying.

"Then if you need a ride back, just call me and I'll pick you up, okay?" Jongin's father suggests and you're once again smitten by their care for you.

"Okay." You smile, step out of the house and turn around one last time, to give your son a kiss. "Tae, don't make your grandparents angry, okay?" you ask and he nods with excitement.

"Don't worry." your mother-in-law adds. "His cousins are also here and aunties too, he'll have a good time."

You nod, smiling and wave them goodbye. As you continue your way, you notice that you’d much rather just stay with them than go to the party.

In fifteen minutes you're already entering through the club. You don't even remember the last time you visited a place like this. It was probably the same day last year.

Chanyeol's - one of Jongin's closest friend's - definition of a party exceeds most of the people's expectations. This year, he has reserved a large area of a fancy club to invite anyone he has talked to more than three minutes during the last five years. But still, the people he feels closest to hold more meaning to him, so he insisted that you attended, no matter how many times you suggested that your presence may not be welcome by every single one of his guests.

You know Jongin will be here.

This is probably the longest time you will have spent with him for a month.

You're nervous.

And before you head towards the party, you find a bathroom to check if you look decent. You look into the mirror and fix the lipstick that maybe didn't need fixing at all.

"Getting ready for someone?" a lady next to you asks. You look over and find a beautiful girl, obviously younger than you by a few years, smiling at you. Who are you kidding, she looks breathtaking. If only you managed to pull of her look, maybe you wouldn't be shaking right now.

"Yeah, I guess." you answer shyly.

"You just look nervous and keep checking your dress and makeup. You look just fine by the way." she smiles, and you don't know whether she's kind enough to worry about you or rude enough to emphasize on it.

"Thanks." you manage to mumble.

"My boyfriend is waiting by the door." she sighs. "Do I look good?" she asks, while you know she knows the answer to that question. "I think he's planning to take our relationship to a new level tonight and I want to look good."

At that you smile at her truly. It's nice to see a couple step into that phase you miss so badly.

"I'm Fei." she says, suddenly and heads toward the exit. "Good luck with your man." she adds with a smirk and steps out of the restroom.

You try not to dwell on that weird and exactly as awkward conversation you had in the restroom a few seconds ago. You walk the stairs that lead to the area where the birthday party is held and when you enter it's as if you're pushed into the icy water.

You don't feel comfortable in these kinds of situations anymore.

You knew most of these people through Jongin and you're sure everyone knows what happened between you a month ago. That awful anxiety churning inside your belly pleads you to find your friends, which you do easily. Soon you're congratulating already heavily drunk Chanyeol and realize that handing him his present is useless right now, so you give it to his slightly less drunk and slightly more responsible friend Sehun.

The music is throbbing in your ears as you lean your back on the railing that overlooks the first floor of the club. The lights are dim and the guests are either dancing or drinking and chatting. You look to your left and notice a big group of people peeking at you. You know them well through Jongin, they could also be named as "family friends", but their smiles at you are now a little weird. Maybe sympathetic, but definitely not something you remember.

They wave their hands, motioning for you to come over and you do, trying not to seem any ruder. You also manage to hold a regular, awkward conversation with them, and you're met with the fact that Jongin's leaving left the bigger change in your life than you thought it did.

You wait for him.

You're like a teenager who stole her mom's high heels to impress her crush. And the crush doesn't seem to appear any soon.

You sigh deeply and gulp the drink you're holding down your throat, when you hear it.

His voice.

As beautiful as ever.

He's greeting that group of people you're standing with and you try your best not to look his way. Not yet. Just a little bit more and maybe you'll talk to him.

You peek through your eye only to see he's wearing a white shirt and holding a drink in his hand. He never drank when he was with you, so you wonder what's happening with him.

"We missed you, Jongin." one of the men say.

"Yeah, now you hang out with a different crowd." another one laughs.

"It's just same me." You hear Jongin chuckle, the most beautiful sound in the world.

"By the way." He says.

"This is Fei."

"My girlfriend."

The music is still throbbing.

The people are dancing.

You can see Sehun doing a love-shot with Chanyeol.

But you're not breathing anymore.

Maybe all this will disappear if you don't.

Maybe this will just stop.

But the reality hits you with a big gasp and you're looking at Jongin. You can't take your eyes off him after, and only now you notice Fei - that girl you met in the restroom - clutching on his arm in her revealing dress, which doesn't seem y to you anymore - it's more ty. And the makeup on her face seems to vulgar. And her youth doesn’t seem as much inviting, it’s just sickly. And you hate her guts, because she claimed that her boyfriend wants to be on the next level with her. And you don't know what that means - public confession? ? A promise ring?

Either one of your answers makes you want to vomit and for once you don't care that half of the people are looking at you. The other half are congratulating Jongin for having such a beautiful girlfriend. And you want to strangle them for being so inconsiderate of your feelings. You want anyone, just anyone to care about your feelings if your own husband doesn't, because it hurts like hell.

You step forward, eyes still boring into your husbands.

Fei recognizes you and wants to say something but you don’t let her.

You slap Jongin.

It echoes even in the noise of the club.

You storm out.

The makeup is running down your face and you cry more because you spend so long on it.

You spent so long to be beautiful enough for him and he has the audacity to humiliate, to hurt you like this.

When did it change, why did it change, you don't know. But soon you're quietly stepping inside your family-in-law's house because you know this is the only place you'll feel safe right now. Not the house itself but one person inside.

You step inside the room, take of the dress and put on the nightdress your mother-in-law kindly prepared for you. Quickly slipping in the bed you hug your son's warm body close to yours and only when he hugs you back in sleep do you feel your shivering stop. And you feel calm. As calm as you can be.

"I'm sorry, Tae." you whisper. "I'm so sorry."

Soooo what did you think??? Leave comments!!!