Familiar
When The Sun Shines
He's dead.
There was comfort in the familiar feeling of being detached. It was an odd mix of darkness, colors, and nothing at all. None of the pain, but none of the happiness either. Just a floating feeling; no words can describe it. Similar to an abyss, it was a hole of nothigness.
Only images -- memories from someone else.
A young man dressed in white sits in the middle of a grand structure. He is nothing but alone.
The path before him is littered with candles, providing lightness in the dark. Despite their bright presence, he still could not see well. His eyes could no longer adjust to the darkness, given what he just did. Instead of enduring the blurred vision, he closed them, offering some sense of relief. At the back of his mind, he knew that if his eyesight was failing, so will the rest of him.
He attempts to breathe, but his chest continues to tighten. A hand clutches his heart; of course, this does nothing to soothe the ache inside.
This is nothing new; he's experienced worse.
As the minutes turn into hours, the blue-blooded son of the nation succumbs to the ravaging killer inside of his body. He ends up sprawled on the floor, heart still beating but no longer fighting. The last bit of his strength resides only in his fingers, which firmly grasps the portrait of a young woman -- the love of his life. Also known as the one he lost due to his youthful foolishness.
I want to see her.
Then, the light vanishes from his eyes.
Another tale sees a being tormented for 600 years. He is in the abyss, lost in the midst of other lost souls. What seemed like an eternal burning was taking its toll on his soul; he then realizes that he was already hopeless, there is no end to this suffering.
He hears the cries of others, but he's too preoccupied with his pain to mind them.
No one told him this was the consequences of his actions.
I want to live again, he cries. But no one hears him.
I want to see her.
He stays in torment everyday, wondering if this was his final destination. Until that one time the deity had mercy.
A nameless man stands alone in a bridge, watching the sun set. Other people pass by, ignoring the beauty before them. But this man, despite the countless time he's watched it gone down, remains frozen on the spot.
It's the last time he's going to see this; might as well.
300 years of not knowing everything, it seemed like a bliss. He remembers those days he was ignorant; everyday was the same: work, lead souls, file overtime, rest. There was no break in his routine. It's no wonder that many of his colleagues were satisfied with not knowing; after all, what never know will never hurt you.
But no, his persistence resulted in him finding out, in him learning of the truth.
Of who he is and how he hurt a number.
Unlike the first hundred of years, he lived the recent ones in pain. He continued to do his job, but with the additional burden of the truth. Everyday, he remembers the faces, the cries, and the torment he had to endure. Some nights, he wishes that he never forced himself to see or to realize.
But on some days, he is grateful. Had he not known, he would never understand the meaning of life -- what it's like to be alive again. Despite his loneliness, he thanked the heavens (grudgingly on some ocassions) for the opportunity to discover who he really was. Had he remained clueless, he would never be thankful for this chances to make amends and pay for his wrongdoings.
It's difficult, but it's the right thing.
He was willing to pay for it till the end.
Staring at the sun, he never thought he would actually see the end.
But here he is.
He then digs inside his pocket and takes out the last envelope he'll ever see. He takes out the card and reads the name.
It's been years since he started doing this, but this particular card is the most significant among the ones he's had.
His eyes waters a bit as he scans the name again.
I want see her, he thinks solemnly.
Compared to the other times he wanted to see her, however, this one's different again.
I'm going to see her.
He inhales the sweet air again.
I'm going to see her.
After years of longing to see her bright eyes and beautiful face, he's finally going to get that chance. He doesn't know what would happen next, but it doesn't matter. As long as he sees her again, as long as he gets to be in her presence -- he will be fine.
He takes another deep breath before he walks away.
Has anyone ever seen a dead man walking? It was a question that haunted him for the days of his lives.
He was a dead man throughout everything, but one thing always brought him back to life.
The question is, will it do the same?
I'm going to see her.
A/N: disjointed realities are kind of my thing. I don't know why, but I feel like it's a good way to express the character's inner thoughts. :) One chapter left, I think! Hoping to see you there and thank you so much for all your support. :D I know it's short, but I like it this way. HAHA
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