Ryo’s fingers rested loosely over the glassy transparent wall of Johnny’s corridor. His neck was craned back, watching the blue sky that day, with only the faintest wisps of white, like breathy caricatures sponged across its wide bare expanse. Turning his gaze down to Johnny’s Tokyo Headquarter compound, he made out the contours of the basketball field, two men absorbed in their game drenching in sweat while another one watching nearby. Ryo breathed out. A light breeze rippled through the air as he shook his head, watching how excited Yoko was having a basketball match with Taguchi. Subaru was leaning back with his hand propping himself up. Ryo took another look at the thin clouds slowly drifted into formation and redirect their faded shape again before leaving the building.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve returned from Osaka?” Ryo asked, leaning back against the pole half-silhouetted by the shade, arms folded.

Ryo’s presence crept up on Yoko. He was so caught up in his game that he only noticed Ryo’s presence when the younger was just inches away from him. Or maybe he was so used to Ryo’s presence that he barely registered it in his concentrating state. Yoko straightened his spine, spinning around to face Ryo. Taguchi flashed his signature smile at the new spectator, bidding Ryo a warm welcome as he draped the ball under his arm. Subaru crossed his legs, didn’t even bother to stand from the bench.

“Uh... Sorry, Hina and I were supposed to fly to Tohoku for our show. I just drop by because I promised Taguchi I’d have a play with him whenever I have some time,” Yoko gave a small tight smile.

Ryo fell in silence, not realizing the little tug in his stomach that strangely rose up. The warm autumn breeze disarrayed his ebony strands as he nodded slightly. If he had to be honest to himself, a part of his envy stemmed from the mere fact that Yoko was willing to spend his tight schedule with Taguchi. Maybe it was just because of a promise. And Yoko had to fulfill it. Ryo didn’t want to sound pushy or anything. But Yoko went back to Osaka for a while already, and when he finally came back to Tokyo, it’s like Subaru and Hina are the only ones that knew – well, aside Taguchi ironically.

“Ryo-chan, let’s go,” Yoko chirped, his hand patting Ryo’s head lovingly. Ryo jumped in excitement, hand snapping away Yoko’s as the elder laughed heartily.

“Where are you going?” the other Juniors asked in curiosity.

“We’re going to Tokyo!” Ryo exclaimed, eyes wide flashing hopes and dreams. “We’re going to be Tokyo Juniors! Aren’t we cool?”

“We’re not, Dokkun. And stop sounding like you’re so superior compare to others,” Yoko’s reproachful voice somehow only made Ryo beam with a grin. And Yoko ended up sighing, wasn’t really sure why he just couldn’t scold this boy properly.

The car in front of Johnny’s Osaka Headquarter had been waiting for them, and Yoko promptly took Ryo’s hand and gripped his favorite Junior tightly. The small hand gave him this calm feeling from his obvious nervousness. Yes, Yoko was nervous. He had high hopes for going to Tokyo, and still, he wasn’t exactly sure whatever was waiting for him there. It was probably his first time leaving his hometown too. Ryo looked up when he felt Yoko’s grip was trembling a bit. This Senior of his often seemed like a carefree person. But in that split second, Ryo thought Yoko was in fact someone who worried more than he should, and beneath his confident proud exterior was a very insecure and nervous guy. And Ryo instinctively tightened his hold. His hand was probably just half size from Yoko’s, but his warmth emitting confidence; everything will be alright.

“Taguchi! It’s time to go home!” Ueda’s voice sang from Johnny’s main entrance. Taguchi’s never fading smile turned into a wide grin when he saw Ueda and Nakamaru walking out towards Ueda’s car.

“Then, let’s call off the day, Yoko. I had fun, let’s play again someday,” Taguchi chirped, packing his stuff into his bag before trotting away to his friends. Yoko and Subaru bowed a bit, bidding their friend a good bye. Ryo gave out a polite smile, taking a little while to send Taguchi with his stare.

“Let’s go for lunch then,” Subaru suggested, soft gravel crunching under his light footsteps as they walked into the building. Immediately awarded with a nod from Yoko as he was well aware how much he needed to refuel his energy.

Yoko took his time to take a bath and clean himself before they walked down the road to a nearby restaurant. Subaru steered them into a yakiniku shop, settling their rumbling stomachs with a decent meal.

“I’ll pay,” Ryo offered when they were about to leave as he stood, paying a sum of yen at the counter. Yoko took a fine minute to study Ryo’s back. Ryo had been so cool and aloof, so confident that Yoko felt completely at odds. Ryo had grown so much in the years, even through the months they had last seen each other. He nearly felt that he didn’t know Ryo anymore.

Exiting the building, Yoko turned to his friends to say goodbye. He almost bumped into Ryo when he realized they were standing too close, Yoko could even feel the warm of Ryo’s breath on his skin. At that point, looking into those deep dark eyes, Yoko knew his heart was no longer his; neither, it seemed, was his mind. But this wasn’t the Ryo who would cling to his hand. Yoko was unsure of what to say, how to proceed. But deep in his mind, some voice was screaming – this was his Junior after all.

“Happy birthday, Ryo-chan!” Yoko greeted, ruffling Ryo’s messy hair just as the little boy woke up that day. It wasn’t really morning, but Ryo wasn’t the morning type anyway. Ryo rubbed his eyes, still feeling the glitter of sleepiness in his hazy mind. But Yoko suddenly pulled his arm, propping him to stand on his feet.

“Now, get ready. It’s your birthday, let me treat you to lunch, since you missed breakfast,” Yoko pushed Ryo into the bathroom before fumbling for Ryo’s clothes somewhere inside the closet. They settled in a restaurant an hour later, and Ryo turned into his hyper self, shoving all the food into his mouth. Yoko just smiled. Ryo was like a golden sun – warm and bright.

“Why didn’t you eat?” Ryo asked.

“It’s okay. I’m not hungry. You just eat all you want,” Yoko smiled reassuringly, hand clutching at his wallet beneath the table as he continued watching. Inwardly he hoped he had enough money for this.

Moving on a very characteristic impulse alone, Yoko leant down ever so slightly and laid a soft kiss on Ryo’s forehead. “I’ll be going then,” he said, turning away quickly without waiting for an answer. His fingers played with his keys in his pocket, all in a bid to remain calm while chaos was reigning inside him. It wasn’t anything, really. It was just a kiss on the forehead – from a Senior to his Junior. Except the fact that Ryo wasn’t as small as before.

Subaru rolled his eyes as Yoko’s figure slowly fading around the next corner, never bothered to turn back. If Yoko had turned around he would’ve seen the flushed shock on Ryo’s face. He would’ve seen Ryo leaning a hand on the wall next to them, calming his unstable heart beat. He would’ve seen the softening of Ryo’s eyes once more. Subaru really just couldn’t get his friend.

It was almost two weeks later that Yoko got a phone call from Subaru telling him Ryo was deadly sick. Yoko wasn’t sure how to react upon the news. Uchi once told him Ryo was always sick occasionally. But Subaru never made a fuss about that. For his best friend to even call him for something like this, Yoko wondered if Ryo wasn’t really in good shape.

Ryo’s cough echoed throughout the room and Yoko his back to soothe his chest. Worry clearly evidenced across Yoko’s face as he shoved a glass of water towards his Junior. Yoko wondered how long will the medicine work. It pained him, watching Ryo in such difficulty. Ryo struggled to breathe, overcoming the obstruction inside his lungs.

“Would you like to have some porridge?” Yoko offered, but Ryo shook his head weakly. A small visible pout formed on his cute lips.

“I’m not hungry,” Ryo’s voice croaked.

“But you have to eat,” Yoko said softly, fingers threading along Ryo’s hair, brushing it away from the younger’s sweaty face. “You’re losing weight again,” Yoko’s eyes momentarily lingered on Ryo’s face. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm the whirlwind inside him.

Ryo stubbornly shook his head, shifting himself on the bed to a more comfortable position as he closed his eyes. And Yoko lost... Again... His hand softly picked Ryo’s, and tears almost formed at the brim of his eyes when he realized how warm Ryo’s hand was. It was too warm and Yoko could almost feel the heat. That night, the breeze danced, moving in to unheard music as old as time. And Yoko found himself sitting by the side of Ryo’s bed, until the sun chased the moon away. Not even once did he let that little hand go.

“Yoko?” Ryo frowned, looking aside to his Senior who was holding his hand in worry. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you okay?” Yoko asked, gripping Ryo’s hand tighter. “Subaru said you’re sick.”

Ryo blinked. “No,” he answered hesitantly. “Well, I had my regular flu, yes. But it’s nothing. Or I wouldn’t have been sleeping in our dressing room.”

It took Yoko some time to process the information. Ryo sleeping on the couch in Kanjani8’s dressing room, resting – or rather sleeping like always. But when Ryo tugged his hand, Yoko couldn’t help but to realize how huge Ryo’s hand was. That Ryo had grown up a lot, and it took Yoko both hands to hold Ryo’s. At that moment, Yoko realized Ryo wasn’t the Junior who cling to him. He never was. The hand he’s holding had always been giving him courage, giving him confidence to move on. That tiny little hand had stored the strength he needed along his path.

“You’ve grown,” Yoko forlornly said, sounding melancholic a bit as the words came out. An awkward silence filled their conversation for a mere second before Ryo sat up, facing Yoko who was now sitting on the floor in front of him. This time, Ryo was the one who took Yoko’s hands.

“Of course I’ve grown, I’m not a peter pan like you,” Ryo joked half-heartedly. Yoko looked up, blinking a few times, couldn’t really comprehend Ryo’s random answer. Ryo formed an audible sigh.

“Idiot. I’ve always wanted to grow stronger for you, so that I can support you more. Am I really just a little kid in your eyes?” Ryo was aware of how much he had grown, and how Yoko didn’t really pay that much attention to him any longer. But as he hold Yoko’s hand, Ryo knew it had always been all the little things about Yoko that Ryo never give a damn about the distance between them. Yoko had always been the one who cared for him the most. The hold Yoko had over him was unfathomable; even after all these weeks that he hadn’t seen Yoko. As if it was anchoring him, somehow.

That night felt so warm and comfortable. It was a night like any other – and yet it wasn’t. There was something in the air, something turning their insides upside down, something they couldn’t quite lay their finger on but that awakened every flight instinct that they possessed. And before they knew it, Ryo bent down, placing a soft kiss on Yoko’s. It was just a short soft kiss, but Yoko felt as if it was forever. Finally tasting the warmth and growth of the once a little child, Yoko was sure right then Ryo really alike the sun – rising in such a glorious way.

When Ryo took Yoko’s silence as a sign of rejection, he started to let go and move away. “I’m sorry, I mean I shouldn’t have feel this way. Me as your Junior, you as my Senior, but I can’t help it, I can’t,” Ryo wanted to withdraw his hands, letting go of Yoko’s. But just as he loosened his grip, Yoko promptly grabbed them back, pulling Ryo down into another kiss. The kiss surprised Ryo a bit but he returned the kiss moments later anyway. It lasted a bit longer than their first one, and more tender too.

“Maybe because I think I love you, that I can’t properly face you,” Yoko finally admitted, giving in to all the comfortable reeling twist in his heart. “Maybe we should try reminiscing the past?” he carefully suggested. “And maybe it could... develop... from there.”

Ryo stared at his Senior wide-eyed before rolling his eyes. “Seriously, Yoko, I’m not that old,” and he chuckled.

That weekend when Yoko went for fishing with Subaru, Subaru for being such a love-bird with Ryo. Yoko nearly tripped over the bank, looking back at Subaru with looks of varying confusion on his face. Embarrassment spread through him, and he felt the feint flush creeping over his cheeks.

“What? I’m free to assume my plan worked,” Subaru answered in an irritated voice, as if he was saying the obvious. “Now that everything is solved, why don’t we all head out for some drinks to celebrate this unison?”

“You planned this?”

“It was long overdue, Kimitaka-kun. It was long overdue,” Subaru stated, eyes crinkling in one of his famous smirks.


~The End~