“It’s been eighty-six years…” Luhan began with a wistful look in his eye, not going unnoticed by the one sitting across from him. “It’s been at the most, five years.” Minseok corrected, cutting his cake and absentmindedly chewing on the soft spongey texture. The doe-eyed male shot a look at him, “Don’t sass me, I’m trying to guide you into the world of dating, where every wish comes true…” He sang, flailing his arms about.

“More like it ruins every dream…”

“Yah! See, you can’t even enter the magical universe with that attitude.”

Minseok scoffed, “I never said I wanted to enter—I’ll kill myself before you can even take me.” Luhan pouted, arms splayed out on the small table as he whined, “All you need is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust.” The elder stared at the man in disbelief, “Pulling out Disney quotes isn’t going to change my mind.” Then biting on the metal fork he was given, off the frosting.

“I’d say another, but I can’t think of one at the moment, gimmie a second…” Minseok groaned, stabbing the slice and leaving the utensil stuck inside, “I don’t even know why we’re friends, or why I agreed on hanging out when I know you’re always like this.” Luhan didn’t answer, unsurprising as he was tapping his jaw with furrowed brows, “…Yeah, nothing’s coming to me. Maybe today isn’t my day.”

“Why am I still here…”

“—Because you have nothing better to do than stick around with me, your bestest friend!” Minseok willed himself not to cringe, “And that’s why I’m dragging your into my world! Where my lovely Sehun and I live in a home created from chocolate and cotton candy bushes—“ The older eyed him worriedly, “I feel very concerned for you. Don’t you think you put too much thought into that?”

“—But back to you! The easiest way to even begin is well, dating.”

“Lu, that doesn’t even make sense—“

“You’re an old man in the subject known as love, so shush and let me lead the way! –And I say the quickest and cleanest way is blind dating!”

“…I feel as though you’ll drive me into one of those ‘chocolate houses’ and drown in fudge.” Minseok said after a long moment, smiling softly as Luhan didn’t seem put off by his lack of willingness. “I’d eat it before we’d die! –Anyway, I know a good friend of mine who is always going out on blind dates, so he can help you in.” The elder tilted his head, “Blind dating is a program?”

“Yes…well no… it’s hard to explain! But, you don’t have to worry your little head, I’ll set up everything for you so when the time comes, you just get ready!” Luhan said with unwavering confidence, a curled fist up in the air as an awkward silence took over. “…I’m gonna call him, hold on.” Minseok watched the younger tap on his phone, shifting the device to balance between his shoulder and ear perfectly.

As Luhan waited for the ‘good friend’ to pick up, Minseok grabbed the metal fork and tore off a rather large piece of cake, stuffing it in his mouth and leaned against the palm of his hand. The doe-eyed man watched and openly cooed when the older’s already chubby cheeks became even bigger. It caused the elder to go into a minor coughing fit, glaring daggers at the grinning deer.

“…New phone, who dis?”

Luhan snorted, winking at the red-faced Minseok who finally swallowed down the cake and was currently eating more. “This is Patrick.” Minseok stared at him in bewilderment, “Your friend is just like you? Two Luhans, the horror.” And he was smacked on his arm lightly, said deer giggling into the phone. “No. Stop, please ge. We aren’t doing this. –Why’d you call, Luhan-ge?”

“My friend—the cute one…” He ignored the scowl in his direction, “—and I finally convinced him to do the blind dating scenario, like you!”

“Ah. –Why am I being called then…?”

“So you’d help me! You’re like a pro—blind dating and still going for three years!” Minseok made a cutting gesture to his throat, “That’s not something to be proud of!” He hissed to the younger, head falling back when Luhan gasped at his crucial mistake. “I’m soo sorry Chen! I didn’t mean it like that!”

“It’s… fine. I—yeah, I can help. We have to make his account on the website I use, is he gonna come by or…?”

“Oh, uh, no. I’ll be dropping in. I want him to take it easy, you know?”

“Yeah, okay. Text me when you want to swing by. –I really gotta go, my cat is getting close to the fireplace.”

Luhan pulled away, grabbing the phone and carelessly tossing it onto the table, “I feel so bad…” Minseok shook his head, leaning over and patting his shoulder, “At least you apologized. I usually don’t say anything when you do it to me.” The deer’s jaw dropped, “You should tell me! Do I do it a lot?” The elder hummed a pink line of smooth frosting, “You do, you really do. But I know you don’t mean it the wrong way, so why should I say anything?”

“You’re such a nice gege.”

“I know.”

“A really nice one if you paid for our cakes…”

“You’re lucky I brought my wallet.”

~

“Why are you here?” Minseok asked the moment Luhan stepped into his condo uninvited and didn’t bother to kick off his shoes. Luhan had no answer straight away, throwing himself on the soft cushions of the couch in the living room. The elder huffed at the lack of manners, walking to the blank-faced deer and kicking his leg not so softly with fuzzy socks on feet. Said man on the sofa whined in pain, sliding off his shoes before curling into the fetal position and withering.

“Lu, I’m serious—why the hell are you here?” Minseok repeated, grabbing the male by the bent arms and dragging him to the other half of the couch, settling down beside him. “I finished your little application, on the dating thing. –It was sooo tiring, reward me for my hard work.” Luhan practically demanded, even pointing at his elder without lifting his head from the cushions. That dwindled the other’s worries to nothing but ashes.

“With what exactly? Actually, it’s your turn to pay whenever we eat out. I paid for our cakes last week.” As he informed the younger, he didn’t miss the way Luhan’s face began to pale a questionable amount. With a sudden squeak, the deer shot up from the curling position, no longer acting in pain and now staring at Minseok seriously. And the other did the same with just as much intensity.

“….Make me something~ Pleeeaaase?” Luhan broke out of character instantly and begged for food. Minseok sighed, shoving off the younger who was latching onto him with a death grip and snorted when he fell unceremoniously off the couch and hitting his knee on the coffee table. Ignoring the man’s cries of pain, the elder padded to the kitchen and rummaged for something microwave-able.

Bending down with a frown, Minseok snatched a box out of the freezer and lazily read the instructions. Heat for two minutes. Hot-pocket. After nearly tearing the frozen cardboard in half, he threw the box back in and hip-bumped the door shut as Minseok ripped the plastic. During the time the elder was tossing the food in the microwave, Luhan trudged into the space and flopped into a nearby chair with a humph!

“What is it now, Luhan?” The elder questioned as he punched in the correct settings and allowing for the machine to finally start its’ job. “What are you heating up for me? I don’t want leftovers.” Luhan said, being a tad picker than usual, but it didn’t deter Minseok in being a good ‘gege’. “Be happy, they aren’t.” He only heard a very bored-sounding woohoo! from the man. When the Korean male turned, he quickly raised his hand when two pink lips were opening, “Before you ask, I only have water.”

“You and your stupid healthy… fiiine, I’ll take a water bottle.”

“Get it yourself.”

“Aigoo, my heart, my heart! Please get it—“ He quieted and silently went for his bottle after getting a sharp glare from the usually caring Baozi. Right when Luhan returned, he didn’t go back to his chair, no. He sat right on Minseok’s lap and snuggled into the man’s chest. “What are you doing…” The elder muttered tiredly, opening the water for him when it was nudged childishly to him multiple times.

“It’s cold! Can you not see I’m shirtless?” He hissed, glowering softly at Luhan, who giggled when he pressed the cold bottle down his biceps. “Oh, I know. Cute little Baozi when clothed, but all undressed is like you were the God’s favorite from above. Tell me, how do you do it?” The deer asked in a commentator’s tone of voice, using the uncapped water as a microphone.

“I work out and actually eat healthy, unlike you.” Minseok laughed airily when Luhan gasped in faux hurt, hitting the elder on the chest and turned back to lean on him. Draping both arms down the younger’s shoulders, the Korean male spread his legs just enough for the Chinese deer to fit into. “You were making my thighs numb.” He said before the other could ask. “Are you daring to say I’m fat?”

“Yes I am. As your gege, I’m telling you to lose weight.” He said sarcastically with a small grin.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Luhan placed the bottle on the table residing beside them as he stood up, skipping to the microwave and pulling out the Hot-pocket inside. “You didn’t use the cover thingy!” He was referring to the one of many things Minseok threw in the bin. And truthfully, Minseok did not give a single whatsoever. “I gave you food. If anything, you should be thanking me.” The deer tutted.

“Ah-ah-ah! You should know I am thankful, but never voice it out. Did you not read the contract papers when signing up for our beautiful friendship?” The Baozi stared at the other who was smiling like the Devil. He snorted in response, reaching over for the lonely bottle and taking a quick sip before Luhan could hit him for it. “Eww! Your germs! Eww—I’ll turn into a Baozi!” The deer cried dramatically, a hand dragged over his face whilst nibbling on the snack.

“It’s just water. I’m not sick, Lu.”

“Humph!”

Luhan snatched the bottle out of his grasp, staring at the rim with an unreadable look before downing the rest of the water. Minseok rolled his eyes, “Why do you even—Luhan, why the hell are you here?” After an annoyed look was shot to him, the younger finally answered, “I wanted to hang out. Why? Do I need a goddamn invitation to visit my best friends’ house? Do I need to give a good enough reason? Gosh—“

Minseok frowned at the sudden aggression, “Luhan, I was just wondering. You usually tell me when you’re already at the door—“ He was cut off, “Oh? Do I have to keep doing that? I didn’t know it was ing necessary—“

“Was it Sehun?” As the name was spoken, the Chinese male quieted and bowed his head, “…” Minseok already took out his phone, typing in a familiar number with a frown. It was proven true when the younger tried to stop him, but soon gave up when he was glared at. “Hey—“ A finger was raised, listening to the dials as the other waited for an answer.

“Ah. Hi, hyung! What’s—“

“Get over here. Now.”

There was a small cough filled with nerves before a verbal response, “I—sorry, what?”

“Sehun. Get the up, and come to my house. Or would you rather have me drag you out?”

“Hyung, is there—“

“You did something to Luhan, so come here and ing fix it.” He could already hear the male practically running out of the house the two shared. “Uh, uh, okay—“And Minseok hung up, dropping his phone on the table as he looked at a now teary-eyed Luhan. There was a deafening silence hanging over them, almost mockingly. Then the elder spoke, “Did you plan on staying over?”

“Mhm.”

He only nodded, “You’re still welcome to.” The doe-eyed man smiled shakily, “T-Thanks, ge.” Minseok didn’t answer, resting his head on the cold table with a thoughtful scowl on soft features.

This is why I don’t like bothering with relationships in the first place…

~

“Geeeeegeeee~!” Luhan sang loudly, making a rather grand entrance at his workplace, it being a newly labeled animator. For unknown reasons, the security and receptionist allowed the deer in, not even sparing him a glance. (“They said I look like an anime character! Isn’t that cool?!” “Fantastic.”) Minseok was situated on the fifth floor, not too high or too low. From what Luhan said… it actually made sense as to why he was allowed, and it was depressing on the low-key.

“But what if Sora and Roxas were real? I’d probably die if I ever saw them—“ Minseok stared at the babbling Kris, willing himself to not use the man’s own Miku Hatsune stamped tape to keep his mouth shut. “There’s a reason people Cosplay.” Was all the doe-eyed man managed to say with the small stop from the other’s talking. “But still, you can’t not just disagree with me, right?” Of-ing-course-not. Minseok grmbled under his breath, absent-mindedly staring at his monitor, which had one of many wallpapers of Kingdom Hearts.

“Well, yeah. Do you not see my lanyard and my wallpaper? But you barely grasp the plot line—“ Kris cut him off, “I am so going to Comic-Com this year. THIS YEAR DAMMIT!” The elder hummed, “You say that every year. And it’s been the seventh time in a row, man.” That only made the other more motivated. “This is the year! I’ll go, I promise!”

“But you don’t ever like going alone in crowded places, you hermit.”

“Shut the up and get killed by Miku—“

Minseok rubbed his eyes tiredly, “We are not rekindling our goddamn debate about Miku and K-Pop. That has no Win situation.” Kris held up his roll of ductape threateningly, as if it would scare his only friend. “MIKU IS ING GREAT—“ And this is when Luhan kicked open the glass doors and screamed, gege!! To the whole world. Kris, and along with everyone else, was looking for the source of that shrill yell. Minseok just wanted to throw himself out a window.

“Where is my cute little baozi?! Minseok! Raise your hand, dammit!” Kris turned to him, snorting as the elder was lying down, trying to stay hidden. Though it didn’t last long when the tower grabbed his limp arm and forced it up with a hoot. “He’s over here!” At that moment, Minseok used his other arm to promptly smack Kris with his tape roll. What made it worse was that he could feel Luhan nearly skipping to them when he finally brought his hand down.

Kris took the hit with a proud smile, peeking over the elder’s shoulder when another gege was heard. What threw him off was that the usually talkative male was eerily quiet. “Ohmygod… your friend looks like he was taken straight off of Anime Heaven.” Minseok deadpanned, spinning to face Luhan, who was only in shorts and a thin shirt that was his and not the damn deer’s.

“Luhan, this is Kris. Kris, this is Luhan. Acquainted? Good—Luhan, I’m not even going to lie… You’re probably what everyone is going to imagine in wet dreams from being deprived. –I told you you’re too pretty for your own good.” The deer’s eye twitched disgustingly, “Yah! I’m manly, dammit! –and I feel very honored.” Kris didn’t even bother to hide his flinch. “Gross. –But really, what’s up?”

“Your blind date is today.”

The two animators choked on thin air. “YOU’RE GOING ON A BLIND DATE—“ Luhan giggled, “TODAY?! WHY A RE YOU JUST TELLING ME?!!” His answer was a playful shrug, “Dunno. But it’s at eight. Be on time, weeaboo.” Minseok glared at him, “I am not a weeaboo. I am a ing Otaku, you uncultured prick—“ Kris snorted before laughing with his small gummy smile.

“Same thing.”

The duo currently sitting grew serious, “No they aren’t. –This is something I will ing debate about right now. I can catch up on Bungou Stray Dogs—no dammit, I can’t abandon it!” Kris whined, putting his headset back in and going back to watching. Minseok was frowning, “I am no hermit. I joke about it ‘cause I know what it is. I am a. Damn. Otaku.” Luhan held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, jeez. –But that’s what I came to tell you. I’ll stop by around seven to help you get ready. Prolly earlier. Bye, gege!” Minseok watched the male go, shifting uncomfortably as some of the workers attempted to speak to him. “What episode are you on for Bungou Stray Dogs?” Kris glanced at him before drowning himself deeper into the plot, “Episode ten.”

“That for you—there’s only twelve episodes.”

That caught the man’s attention.

Kris spinned on his chair to stare at him in disbelief, “What. WHAT. ARE YOU ING SERIOUS?” Minseok merely raised a brow, “Do I look like I’m joking?” And he found himself being shaken by the shoulders wildly, “WHEN. When does the next episode come out?!” He shushed the tower, slapping off his hands as if they were a disease, “I don’t know. They haven’t put a release date.”

Kris overreacted. In Minseok’s opinion that didn’t seem to never matter. The man had stopped talking to him and only watched with a sad expression. “Well, it’s a long time since it’s the new season. Can’t blame them really.” Kris said nothing in return. “There’s this anime that was recommended to me. I thought that since BSD is ending, I should say the same to you.”

He already knew Kris was listening, having that he brought up his Microsoft Word with many recommendation with check marks beside each title. Some even had little ratings, which was oddly adorable. “It’s called Boku no Hero or My Hero Academia. It does have this typical start, like plot, but it stands out pretty ing well.” There was a tense silence, “I’ll check it out.” Was all Kris said.

Minseok never felt so accomplished in his damn life.

~

Even though it was his date, Luhan was the one freaking the out.

“Who the hell bought you these stupid shirts? They’re all ugly!!” Minseok snorted, currently splayed out in his bed while playing a game on his phone. “Uh, you did.” The deer let out a pained screech, “No way! These are disgusting!”

“Why do you think I’m shirtless all the time?”

“HEY I BOUGHT THESE FOR YOU—“

“But you just denied it?”

Luhan muttered many colorful words under his breath, skimming through his closet with a disgruntled expression. “Where’s that button up that tall weaboo bought you?” Though the man had mixed feelings for said Otaku, he would not stand for someone calling him a damn weeaboo. “First off, his name is Kris, and he’s a goddamn Otaku. There’s a ing difference.”

“Okay fine. Otaku friend, where’s the button up?”

“Which one?” The deer sighed impatiently, stomping his foot quite childishly, “The black one! You gotta look presentable!” Minseok merely huffed, “Above the hangers, in plastic.” Then there was the sudden feeling of being slapped in the face that greeted the Baozi. “YOU HAVENT EVEN WORN IT!”

“Because I don’t dress to impress. Sweats are my fancy.”

“Basic , put that on.”

“I’m not basic! I’d rather be comfortable than impress someone I might not even like—“ Luhan glared at him darkly, “PUT IT ON!” And Minseok hurriedly dressed himself. Then smiled timidly as the younger clapped his hands happily, “Good. Now, roll up the sleeves.” And he stared at him, “No. Either I wear it like this or don’t go at all.” His friend sighed dramatically, “FINE. Just to make it better for you, I’ll allow you to wear jeans.”

“Awesome.”

“Black.”

“… you.”

…

Minseok slapped Luhan’s wrist the tenth time when a comb got a little too close for his liking. “Please. PLEASE STAY STILL.” The elder wanted to cry, he doesn’t want to look like he came out of the movies. Luhan’s expectations were just way too high. “How does Sehun deal with you?”

“There’s a reason why we love each other.”

“I don’t see it.”

He was smacked with the plastic comb not so lightly. “I’m almost done. Just be still—at least I’m not doing your makeup!” Yeah, thank God for that. Minseok willed himself to be like a statue for the next ten minutes.

…

“Put some earrings and matching shoes, then I’ll send you off.” Luhan said with a weary look, laying on the elder’s bed after finally doing the man’s hair successfully. “I’m going for Red.” The Chinese male only grunted, face squished into the pillows that the mattress carried. “Luhan…” The deer only hummed, “You look y.” If only he could hit Minseok with a cushion.

“You’re lucky I care for your appearance, otherwise I’d have smacked you on the head.” The Baozi laughed, “I kinda knew that. But I’m done. Can I leave now?”

“LET ME LOOK AT YOU FIRST—wow.” Ignoring the annoyed look in the man’s eyes, Luhan would not hesitate to admit that he looked more than attractive. “y—Okay, you know the address right? Good, you’re free to go. I’ll be waiting here for your return and you WILL TELL ME EVERYTHING.” The Otaku clucked his tongue, “Okay. Whatever.. And… thanksokaygoodbye.”

It took a minute to register, but Luhan smiled widely, even after Minseok had left long ago.

…

What exactly was Minsoek supposed to do when he got here? Luhan didn’t even tell him who his date is. “Lu. Who the hell am I supposed to be with?” There was a strange grunt from the other side, “ I didn’t tell you. Wait, no worries. They have a card—on the table—with your name. Find it. That’s your date. By the way, you’re all in the same group as the rest of the people in the program.”

“Awesome.”

“I don’t need that sarcasm!”

“So, if I hate my date or whatever, can I just find Chen or leave?”

The younger practically screamed into the phone, luckily it was muffled by a pillow, Minseok assumed since he can scream way louder than that. (Believe him, he knows.) He forced himself to walk in the extremely fancy restaurant, which should really not be chosen if it’s the first date. “Lu, I see nobody.” Minseok grumbled, glaring at all the people talking to each other as a waiter walked up to him.

“Reservation?”

Oh me.

“Lemme talk to him! Pass the phone!” He did so with a subtle sigh of relief, watching curiously as they whispered to each other. Then the employee’s eyebrows raised up a horrifying amount, “I see. I will lead you, right this way.” They sang, already walking off with him stumbling behind. “Oh, right.” The waiter abruptly stopped, nearly causing Minseok to collide into him.

“Your phone. Here you are.” Minseok wanted nothing more than to just go home. And fall asleep, or possibly binge watch. Either one is more pleasing than this. “Thanks.” He gritted out with clenched teeth, taking the phone and soon realizing Luhan was still speaking. “—Minnie. Minnie! I forgot to tell you something!” Said Baozi rolled his eyes, “What?”

“I didn’t put your real name. ‘Cause nobody does that. What if they’re crazy or something, right? Besides, Chen told me not to just ‘cause it happened to him once. And it was really scary—I dropped by one day to see him—“

“What’s my name then?” He muttered, turning a corner as a few tables with single people were situated at, holding cards. “XIUMIN. I was gonna put Baozi, but that’s just embarrassing and I like calling you that. So, nobody but me can call you that!” Minseok smiled softly, “Xiumin? Ok—ay…” The man slowed to a stop, staring in minor shock before closing his eyes tightly.

Oh no.

Minseok knows that they can make some mistakes. Courtesy of Luhan—who he wants to dismember at the moment. If I could strangle him until—no. NO. Now’s not the time. But I will definitely kill him. “Lu?” He hissed into the phone with gritted teeth, breaking away from the waiter and turning around. And out where he can freaking not be charged for the murder of Lu-ing-han.

“Yessss? You called my name?~” He sang, obviously not noticing that Minseok was freaking pissed. “I am leaving.”

“WHAT WHY THE —“

“Because a chick is my date, that’s why!” And he hung up, putting it in his pocket and finally leaving the restaurant.

~

Date #1—FAIL.

~

“I am sososo sorry!” Minseok stared at the deer who was on his knees, hands clasped above his head and spewing out apologies one after the other. He hadn’t returned home, no. Instead, he went about aimlessly before just laying down on top of a hill and just dozing off. It had Luhan worrying of course, so imagine the male running around in the night screeching like the idiot he is for ‘MY BEATUTIFUL BAOZI! MY ONE AND ONLY COME BACK!!!’ Yeah, he was ing ignored by the elder.

“You freaking should be.” Was all the chubby-cheeked other muttered, turning away from the other and yawning. “It won’t happen again, I promise!” Minseok huffed, “ yeah it won’t. Since I’m not gonna be doing that again.”

“No! Just gimmie another shot!”

“You set me up with a girl!”

“On accident though!”

Luhan begged and begged for an hour straight, pulling on the elder for attention and whining like a child. “—fine! I agree, jeez!”

“Pleasepleasepleasei’monmydamnknees—“

“I SAID YES LU ING HAN!”

“Oh. Good! C’mon, up you go! Let’s binge watch something…?” Luhan was more than pleased to see the sparkle return to the older’s eyes, “Just for putting me through that, it’s going to be One Piece.” . That’s a long anime. “I surely won’t up next time.”

“Let’s go. My car is over at the entrance.”

~

Luhan wanted to die. He’s sure he can understand how his best friend felt with him. YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER, YOU ING— But the deer kept every bad, slash insulting comment to himself. He had to. Minseok was thoroughly enjoying himself. “How are you going to re-watch over six-mothering-hundred episodes before Saturday? It’s Wednesday dammit…” The elder didn’t make any movement to follow his reply, “Determination. Besides, I’m ahead in my work, so I can laze around for a whole month,” Luhan spit out water. “A-A-A month?! Holy , you must’ve worked hard…”

“No . I love my job.”

You love anime a lot, huh…

~

“WAKe ME UP! WAKE ME Up INSIDE—,” Minseok was greeted with Kris’ screeching as he carried a box of tissues around. “What the hell? Calm down dude--!” The Chinese-Canadian tower whipped around, bloodshot eyes staring right back at the Baozi. “Woah, woah… hey, what’s wrong?” If there was one thing he learned from being the 6-footer’s best friend, it’s that he never cries. Not even the tragic ending of CLannad After Story. That made Minseok cry like a little for days. “I…I-I… My girlfriend broke up with me!” Suddenly, long arms were thrown on him with a hellish amount weight included.

“You mean…. You’ve been together for nearly five years!”

“I know! But I came back from work yesterday with our anniversary present and…” Anniversary? SHE CHEATED ON THEIR ING ANNEVERSARY?! THIS— “That . Did you kick her out?” Minseok asked softly, knowing full well how unstable his friend is. “O-Of ing course! Did you honestly think I’d keep her in my house?” To be honest, the elder kind of did. Kris was a real sweetheart with a resting -face. So, he honestly couldn’t past him. “What did you do with that random boy?”

“…”

“Kris?”

“…I um, threw him out the window?” Minseok did a double-take. Since when did he become so violent…? The baozi wasn’t going to say anything against the Chinese male’s actions in the first place, but the face he pulled made sure of it. “Good ! Make sure you get rid of all her stuff, it’s depressing to look at,” As his Ge, it was his duty to give advice and attempt to ease Kris. Even though he had no clue as how to correctly do so. The relief on the looming man’s expression made him feel a little accomplished. “Ah, yeah. I—um, already did?”

“What did you do?”

“Set it on fire….”

“Dammit Kris!” Said person squawked, dropping his tissue box in surprise and jumping a few inches away. “W-What?” Minseok had no words, so he instead shook his head. “Nothing. But really, should you be here? I’m pretty sure you’d rather be out and not working. Especially after something like that,” The shorter of the duo said worriedly, a type of emotion he wasn’t known to show. “I’m an animator and voice actor,” Kris deadpanned seriously. “—and I wanted to ask about your first date. Keep myself occupied, you know?” Minseok could relate to that greatly. A little too greatly.

“Well, you’re definitely going to laugh,” He said with a grumble, picking up the thrown box and handing it to the tower. “It was that bad?” Kris questioned with an arched brow. Minseok nodded sadly, “Luhan ed up badly. Stupid guy arranged one today at eight.” Kris merely whistled lowly, a smile beginning to show on his lips. (“Hey, hey, I got cha a date! With a dude named TAO! I checked!” “That’s ing great…”) It was sarcasm, but the kid just couldn’t understand the beautiful art called sarcasm and smartassery.

…

It took exactly ten seconds for Kris to burst out laughing. The sad part was that it wasn’t some chuckle. It was a full-out bellow that Minseok swore shook his desk. “He set you up with a chick?! That’s priceless! Luhan royally ed up for his first try,” He couldn’t agree more. “I’m feeling better already!” Kris garbled, cackling breathlessly enough that had the other somewhat worried. “It… just off, you !” Minseok couldn’t think of anything to say that would possibly one-up him. There was a pregnant pause, ignoring the clicks of keypads smashed by quick fingers.

“What are you going to do now? Since, she was what, your only girlfriend?”

Kris side-eyed the elder blankly, “Not sure? I mean, I’m completely awkward with all that romantic bull.” Both of them were. Match made in heaven, excluding the fact they’re friends. “How’d you get her in the first place? Wasn’t she a rising model? Well, is a model,” Minseok mumbled, using his free time to attempt on a recommended anime, Angel Beats. Hopefully, Kris wasn’t being a sly and picking out the worst one possible.

I’d rip his eyes out if he did…

“She asked me out. It—don’t give me that look. It was a joke at first. Then she ended up liking me after one ty date.” Isn’t that a cliché? What the ? “That’s just… whatever. What do you plan on doing?” Kris pointed to his monitor, “Binge watch One Piece all over again. To bury away my sorrows by my love: Monkey D. Luffy.” Minseok stared at the Chinese-Canadian in bewilderment. “What the actual hell—that thing is over seven-hundred episodes! And I thought it was Zolo last time.”

“But how can you not like Luffy?”

“What makes me question your uality is the fact that you pick guys as your favorites…”

“HEY—!”

“You’ve never picked Nami or Robin. , you picked Chopper once!”

Kris didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day.

~

“Why the hell is it in a different place?” Minseok whined as put on his white button up. “Well, it’s ing boring to have it in the same place,” Luhan retorted sassily while fiddling with the baozi’s cuffs. “But it’s convenient!” He shot back, yelping when something was suddenly around his neck. “W-What the heck did you put on me?!” The short male demanded, huffing angrily as the deer giggled evilly. “A choker. To be completely honest, these damn things are my guilty pleasures~” Minseok sputtered at the sudden reveal, “D-Don’t dress me up how’d you want to dress Sehun!”

“But can you really imagine him in a choker? He doesn’t have the heck for it. Well, it would need to be those thicker ones, and not these typical ones.” Why would I imagine your boyfriend—. Lu’s right. “That doesn’t mean I like wearing them,” He then said seriously. “If that’s how it is, why do you own three sets?” These damn birthday gifts, Kris I will murder you— “Kris bought them for me two years ago. I wore something that looked like a choker back then at work and well… apparently I looked good in it.”

“…is he straight?”

“The fuc—?!”

“He’s hot. But your weeaboo friend says so many gay things, it tricks my radar. BUT MY RADAR IS NEVER WRONG!” This is sad. We’re both questioning his uality. “KRIS ISNT A WEEABOO! Second of all, I’m not even sure. –And I don’t want this thing on!” Luhan sighed, “Just for this date! Please?!” Minseok glared at him, “This one time. THIS ONE TIME!” Then there was overly-excited cheering that really wasn’t needed screeching right in his face. “Ripped jeans, y! Alright… you’re good! Just, just… dammit! Can I do your make-up? Just your eyeliner, please???”

“….”

“????!”

.

~

It was an outside date this time. One of those that seemed like a group thing. But It really wasn’t? Minseok honestly thought it was the stupidest thing they could’ve possibly thought of. Luhan even said Chen complained for a bit, upping said person on his favorite person but not yet met in person chart. (It’s a weird list.) And Tao, formally known as Huang Zitao, is ing tall. But attractive, definitely. “Are you really older than me? What do you do to stop the aging for your skin, omggg....” My skin? What about my skin… “Oh my gosh, I wish I could defy aging so damn well,” Tao sighed, smiling softly.

Huang Zitao is a young Chinese man who was taller than most and sassy. Sassy but adorable in his own cute way. Then a little bit of a on the side. Minseok was especially shocked by how well the younger dressed himself. Fashionable with picky tastes. He was feminine in a sense. Luhan and Tao would be best of friends with how the other’s make-up was. “I’ve never complimented a man’s make-up before, but yours is really ing good. I really like the wings with the linear.” It surprisingly wasn’t awkward. They somehow got along. There wasn’t a single awkward pause. More as, Tao wouldn’t allow one.

“Wha—really?! It took me so long to get it right! Not really, just a minute. I’ve gotten so used to putting on make-up, though people have told me that’s not a good thing…” Minseok didn’t see the problem. It flew right over his head, “Who? I think it’s perfectly fine. –What do you do?” Tao suddenly began to his shirt. WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH WHAT THE — “I’m a tattoo artist. On the side is a martial artist, specifically Wushu. Then. Well, you know… make-up.” Minseok couldn’t help but discreetly choke on his drink.

All kinds of tattoos crawled down the male’s taut arms, curling around the muscles in an oddly elegant fashion. There was a life-like snake tearing through tan flesh, hissing with wild eyes looking pointedly at Minseok. It was fully black with creepy droplets of blood sliding off its fangs. A tiger was right below it, but on the kawaii side. It was such a drastic change—it was adorable. “I honestly didn’t expect that. Why not a fashion designer? You can dress yourself really nicely,” He said after recollecting his thoughts in a hurry. “I was going to be a fashion designer before—but they said I’m too picky? Like, the ? How can I be too picky?” Tao whined, motioning to himself and sighing, “They just don’t want my godly talents!” Minseok laughed at the remark. “But let’s get on the serious note,” Tao cleared his throat professionally.

“You weren’t what I expected. That’s my fault, of course. I didn’t put my height since well… nobody is ever taller than me. You’re everything I want, don’t get me wrong! But… I want those gagging cute moments, which requires my boyfriend to be taller than me!” Zitao admitted with a fist raised, almost trying to motivate himself all over again. Minseok wasn’t insulted at all. “Same goes for you. I’m someone looking for a more laid-back boyfriend. –I see you as a friend,” Tao nodded in agreement, “Same… Do you even like it here? This scenery has been bugging me. I mean, I don’t want to just sit here and chat.”

“We can just ditch? We’ll be leaving together, so it’ll seem good.”

“Minseok, I like your thinking!”

…

“Hey, Tao?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t go on another date. I want to set you up with a friend of mine.”

“OMGOMGOMGOMG REALLY?! YOU’RE SUCH A NICE GEGE!”

…Gege?

Date #2—FAIL

~

“You ended up as friends?!” Luhan repeated for the umpteenth time, even making motions of tearing out his hair. “Tao? Yeah. He’s a nice kid. You two would get along—,” Minseok was rudely cut off by the other, “I don’t ing care!” But that short attention span was easily regained, “Because he’s fashionable and loves make-up.” The deer practically lit up like a Christmas tree, giggling excitedly. “Really? How good? Like, how good?”

“Tao did wings on his eyeliner—,”

“THAT”S SO DIFFICULT! EVEN FOR ME!”

Luhan then snatched up Minseok’s phone, who was laying innocently on the comforter and unlocked it. “Woah, what the hell are you doing?” The deer squealed in excitement as he sent himself a message, “I’m getting the guy’s phone number for myself!” Good, swiftly dodged his pestering. “Done! But back on topic—I didn’t want you to make a new friend. If he liked you enough to be friends, can’t you one-up it to dating?” Dammit! “He wants his boyfriend to be taller than him. –He’s six-foot,” The man quickly added when seeing the confused look he was given.

“Are you serious? I rarely see someone in the six mark. Besides your Otaku friend… Kris or something.” Then he oohed in realization, “YOU’RE GONNA MAKE TAO A HOMEWRECKER—!” The baozi groaned, “No, I’m not. Kris’ girlfriend cheated on him. Besides, I just want them to meet, not to automatically do any romantic . I’m not that cruel of a person!” Luhan obviously didn’t support the last comment, given by the face he was sporting.

“So then, newly appointed cupid, are you gonna set them up?” Minseok nodded, “Kris doesn’t do romantics, but he can be when the guy’s into it,” Luhan grumbled under his breath, “Fine! But now I have to set you up again!”

“ing really? You know what, get out of my house!”

“How dare you throw me out!? I am a ball of sunshine—!”

“I need to get ready for work. It’s already eight—you’re ing insane for calling me at five in the morning…”

“You make it sound like it’s not normal to skype—.”

Minseok hung up grumpily, tossing his phone aside and deciding to nap for a few moments.

~

“Tao, what on god’s beautiful green Earth are you wearing?” Minseok had to ask, it was peeking out from the corner of his eye. “Gucci….?” Zitao was in some sleeveless top that leopard printed and ripped leather jeans. Besides it looking too good to be normal—he was a fashion designer before, duh—but they were going to his workplace, not to some modeling agency. “You don’t have to dress so nicely,” The older explained gently, motioning to himself in a pair of jeans and Pokémon t-shirt.

“But gege, this is me dressing casually!” Oh my god, then he was semi-casual at our date— “Sorry, sorry, but you dress so well and… I barely ever see that,” Tao merely shrugged, “But then again, I’m meeting your friend and visiting your work, so shouldn’t I dress up nice?” Minseok had nothing to say against that. “Yeah, okay. Here we are,” He then said, stopping in front of a towering building that only intimidated pedestrians.

“It’s kinda…. Scary, gege.” Tao whispered meekly, suddenly grabbing Minseok’s hand and boldly stepping in. With those long strides, the shorter of the two was tripping over himself. Zitao openly gasped at the lovely lobby filled with colorful pictures. Drawings of characters were plastered over the walls, from Pokémon all the way to My Hero Academia. “D-Do you draw these. Gege?!” Zitao yelled loudly, letting himself be led to an elevator while waiting for some sort of response.

“Not-not all of them. Just some, why?” He somehow managed to sound calm. “They’re really good! You should teach me how to draw!” I don’t have the patience for that…. “Maybe not me… I think my friend would be more suited for that,” Minseok replied as he pressed the button with an engraved 5 in glittery gold. Shocker that he hasn’t high tailed it outta here. Not that many people like anime….. “What language is the music in?” The question snapped him out of his thoughts. “Mu—,” Crossing Field by LiSA, commonly known as the first opening of Sword Art Online (SAO), was playing as elevator music.

Howhaveinotnoticedthis?! Ivegottentooaccustomedtothisthat—ohmygodisTaojudgingme—

“It’s very catchy, though I don’t understand the language.” Tao is an angel in a very scary disguise. “It’s um, Crossing Field by LiSA. –I-If you watch anime, you’ll know it as SAO’s first opening…” Zitao stared blankly at me, not even attempting to hide it. This was the worst idea ever! “I never tried watching anime besides Pokémon. Naruto comes on but… I don’t really watch it? –WAIT. Are you…. ARE YOU AN ANIMATOR?!?!” Just then, the elevator stopped and opened its doors smoothly.

“Yes?”

“OMG NO WONDER WHY YOU WORK HERE! I thought you were maybe an assistant—no offense!” Minseok laughed awkwardly, feeling the multitude of gazes on them from the random screech. “That’s perfectly fine. I don’t look like I work here. C’mon, I’ll show you to my computer,” Zitao was greeted by flirty looks and devilish smiles from scrawny guys and lolli-girls. He somehow didn’t notice it and chatted away, “It’s all windows in here… oooh! That computer had Pikachu on it!!” He squealed, backtracking to hover over the owner and coo.

“Tao. Tao, let’s go this way—you can mess with my PC-,” Said person was quick to leave, urging Minseok to ‘hurry the up’ When the duo reached his desk, Kris had already taken hostage of the elder’s computer and didn’t even care. “Dude, get the off my seat…,” The gentle command died away when the sight of a certain Chinese-Canadian changing his background to all Miku.

Trying to be slick, you ing prick—

“Don’t get your contagious Miku-idis on my keyboard!” Releasing Tao’s wrist, Minseok was quick to shove the man off his seat and to the floor. “—You -oh. Um. When didja get here…?” Tao giggled, hitting the shortest lightly, “So mean!” Then the second tower bent down and held out a hand, “Need help?” Minseok scoffed, “If my guest wasn’t here, I would’ve taped Miku on your chest for free waxing—,” Kris didn’t even hide his shiver. “U-Um, yeah. Thanks…..?” It seemed this was the moment the Chinese-Canadian finally noticed who exactly Minseok brought.

He stared at the hand that belonged to a very sassy panda, who was openly judging him. “Is it wrong for me to wear rings?” It was a question of warning, one that made the eldest want to slap Kris till he was black and blue. “U-U-UM, no. I—just… youknowwhatimmajusttakeyourhand….” Zitao had pulled Kris to his feet, blinking when said idiot somewhat towered over him. “You’re taller than me….” Both of them were just staring at each other, and it made them really look like total morons.

“Oh my —stop! Kris, show him around,” The Baozi demanded childishly, full of annoyance and wanting some alone time. Kris looked at the man in bewilderment, “Um, what? Dude, you brought him—so it’s kind of your ING JOB—!!” He cut himself off when given a very threatening glare. “You were only watching Fairy Tail. I, on the other hand, am going to do my job and not slack off.” Tao laughed at the short bickering, already having forgotten about what irritated him before.

“Fine. Only because you’re my ge. –Zitao, I’m assuming I’ll be older—,”

“I’m nineteen—,”

“—And holy you’re young. A-anyways! Let’s go, staring with the first floor…out of thirty,” Kris gritted out, looking pointedly at Minseok who smiled innocently at the -face.

I can totally play Matchmaker.

Someone give me a medal.

~

It had been roughly three days until Minseok had another blind date.

And he relished that time, that very, very, VERY short time.

Tao was sitting lazily in Kris’ lap, like how a father would sit up his child, and watched anime with a smile. (Like how did you even—?) Luhan didn’t want to see Minseok, claiming that his legs wouldn’t work properly. (Um. What.) And so, he resorted to texting him. Scratch that, spamming him as a cat meow would alert him to ever notification. And he just so happened to have his phone on sound.

Oh me.

Swagalicious:

hey so like u got another date

just fyi its at like ten smthin bout a movie?

i dunno just be rdy

off.

Swagalicious:

ROOOOD anywayss just do it u

its too late anywa y

get tao to dress u

I’m perfectly fine with that.

He isn’t as y as you.

Swagalicious:

ur a potato

no

u r sanic

jus kill urself

Minseok decided to not reply, and instead choke Kris to let out his frustrations.

 

(“DUDE THE FUC-C-CK I CAN-CAN’T BREATHE—!” “HELP ME YOU UNGRATEFUL TREE—!” “Ha-ha-ha-ha!”)

“Tao you sadistic child what the is funny about me being strangled?!”

~

This date was simple and a little cliché.

A movie date.

Are you running out of ideas or what?

I think I am lol.

Tao was truthfully, much easier to handle when Kris was around. Minseok could only assume it was because Zitao was noticeably smitten with the idiot. But that’s impossible for Kris to know, because he’s oblivious as to absolutely everything. (“DUDE YOU’RE GAY?!” “I dunno, am I?” “That’s why I’m asking!” “….!?!?!?!?!”) .

“It’s kind of cold outside, so wear a coat—,”

“NO! Then he’s going to look like a tool!”

“I don’t look anything like a tool!”

“Tao, it’s just a ing jacket.” But Zitao wasn’t having any of it. “Just wear a long sleeve and be a ing man! Deal with it!” Kris rolled his eyes, then seemed to pick up on something, “Why are you in a tank—it’s below forty degrees, you psychopath!” The Otaku seethed, motioning to a snake-skin printed tank that was a shimmery black. “What the did you—!”

“What if you got sick?!”

Zitao was speechless.

Oh my Kris what have you done—

He never becomes silent. NEVER.

“Think about yourself, dammit!” The tallest continued to berate him, meanwhile taking off one of two jackets and forcefully putting it on slender shoulders. “You’re lucky I brought two. I don’t get cold easily, so just wear this one…” Kris zipped up the fluffy jacket, checking every inch of it before nodding in approval. “You still look good in a jacket, okay?” Tao could only nod stupidly. “AS I WAS SAYING—Ge, wear a coat. Just something, it’s really ing cold,” He continued on like nothing, leaving Tao to short circuit with a pair of worried eyes that belonged to Minseok.

“Alright. But what color?”

“W-wear the black pea coat. It gives off a-um, sense of sophistication,” Tao answered, finally gathering himself and smiling albeit oddly. “He’s anything but sophisticated.” Kris snorted. “You have no say, with your disgusting tastes in fashion. I mean, look at you!” Minseok knew how horrible Kris was to his own attire, and was low-key hoping Tao would fix that. It was especially gross with a bright pink jacket and red sweats. Oh, and you can’t forget those puke green shoes.

“I do not know you. The minute we step out in public, I will not even look at you—!”

“Isn’t that a little dramatic? Tell him, ge.”

“…I can’t tell a lie to save you, man.”

“ you guys!”

.

.

.

“They grow up so fast…” Tao fake hiccups while waving at Minseok, who was trying to get into his car without ending the life of Huang Zitao in the process. He nearly lost it when the panda held a paper towel and fanned it out like in those stupid old movies. “God, this is just morbid,” Kris commented with a grunt, eyebrow twitching slightly when Tao burst into an adorable fit of high-pitched giggles.

“Let me leave in peace!” The Baozi cried, sliding into his car and not even bothering to say goodbye, too peeved at the duo to attempt it.

Tao literally did as much as he could with Minseok. Make-up, hair, clothes, cologne, before he’d cross the line and get glared at. That only occurred when a tube of devil red lipstick was too close for comfort.

And dammit!

He was going to make it by the skin of his teeth!

TwoShotsOfTao:

What movie are you going to see?

Dunno

TwoShotsOfTao:

How tf dont u know

Cuz I don’t know

TwoShotsOfTao:

Boring!

Leave me alone and around with Kris

TwoShotsOfTao:

We are

Im buying his a lot of clothes

But maybe I shouldnt

He isnt gonna match them properly

Stop texting me while im driving

TwoShotsOfTao:

THEN STOP ANSWERING!!!!

Minseok muted Zitao for the rest of the night.

(“You !” “I’m your friend, who’s an .”)

~

This is all I got so far~

-SleepyKitty14