“And you know, he’s bouncy and too energetic and not reliable at all and that’s just annoying!” Jin grumbled, but Yamapi could hear hints of giggling from the line. “But sometimes, I think he always managed to overcome his pains and fears. I can’t remember Taguchi walking around without a smile, even after he was injured fighting a Liminal.”

Yamapi took the green crayon, doodling messily over the sketch paper, overlapping some colors in the process. “It sounds more like you love him,” he chuckled, cradling his cell phone between his ear and shoulder. He felt nervous at his own tease. Jin loved to talk about his friends. What if he really was in love with one of the Keepers? He was just a Liminal anyway.

“Me? Taguchi? No, no. I would rather consider someone prude like Nakamaru than the dorky Taguchi,” Jin laughed. “Ueda was probably the only one who can stand him every day.”

Yamapi paused. He had always wondered who Ueda really was, or at least any minor information of that guy. Would it be a good idea to ask? Does Jin actually know where Ueda is? Do the Keepers search for Ueda? Yamapi bit his lips, his mind carefully trying to form a question. “Really? What type of person Ueda is?”

“Ueda?” Jin replied. “He’s the type of guy you don’t want to mess with. Trust me. He’s extremely strong. I don’t even want to be in his way. It happened once before that...” there was a long pause on Jin’s side, and something inside Yamapi was jumping to urge Jin to continue. He barely made it to control himself. “Never mind,” Jin ended.

Yamapi grimaced. “Hey! Don’t say something hanging like that!”

“I thought it would scare you.”

“It’s okay, just continue!”

“Simply put, Ueda is the warrior type,” Jin gave up. “He won’t hesitate killing if he knew that was the right thing to do. Actually, I think he won’t even hesitate killing me if I did anything wrong. There is a reason why Nakamaru trusted Ueda more than the rest of us with his Liminal knowledge. He stands up to what he thinks is right. He is the type of guy who can do things I can’t.”

Yamapi squinted. In other words, he won’t hesitate killing Yamapi and Ryo if he found out they were Liminals. That definitely won’t help them a bit. Yamapi sighed audibly.

“What’s wrong? Why are you interested anyway?” Jin asked in concern.

“Jin, just in case,” Yampi bit his lips, he felt his heart hammering against his ribs rapidly. “I mean, just in case. You know. In case someone you know turned into a Liminal, what would you do? Just in case.”

There was a long pause at the other side, as if Jin was pondering heavily on the possibility before Yamapi heard Jin answered, “I won’t let that happen.”

“How wouldn’t you let it happen?” Yamapi asked briskly. “What if it just happens?”

“You wouldn’t turn into one if your soul is strong enough,” Jin insisted. “Why are you asking such weird question?”

“Nothing,” Yamapi sighed heavily, putting away his crayons as he scanned the now messy sketch paper. “How is he now? I mean, Ueda-san.”

Jin shrugged. “He’ll be fine anywhere he is. Unless some scary Liminals got him.”

Yamapi found himself hard to breathe. Something inside him was tearing his heart apart. He was used to the citizens saying Liminals are scary, but to hear that from Jin was totally a different feeling. It felt overwhelming, Yamapi thought he wanted to cry. But he couldn’t. The tears just won’t fall. He took a while to calm down his insides after ending the call with Jin. Deep inside he wanted to quickly get over with this Liminal curse. He wanted to turn into a mere human again, and he can simply confess to Jin without guilt, without even having something he needed to hide.

“Ueda, you don’t cut the onions that way,” Ryo sighed heavily snatching the knife from Ueda’s hand. “You know what? How about you go and play outside and let me cook alone?”

“No!” Ueda pouted. “You always blend the onions, it made the curry tasted really bad.”

“You don’t eat the onion if you slice them,” Ryo argued.

“But it gives more flavors!”

Yamapi sighed when he stepped into the kitchen. How was he supposed to believe this guy is scary? “Ueda-san,” he interrupted the bickering. “Would you mind getting me some beers for tonight?”

Ueda beamed at Yamapi’s presence. “Sure! I’ll buy some for you right away,” and he skipped out.

Ryo sighed, hands resuming his cooking when Ueda was no longer in sight. “And why is he so obedient with you when he is so rebellious with me? That’s just unfair,” he complained.

Yamapi chuckled a bit before leaning against the kitchen counter. “I called Jin just now.”

“I know,” Ryo said. “Who else do you usually speak on the phone for hours like that if it’s not Jin,” he teased. Yamapi sulked, but Ryo could still notice the tinge of blush on Yamapi’s cheeks. “Are you okay? Did he say anything?” he asked with concern evidence in his tone.

Yamapi shrugged. “Apparently Ueda is quite a dangerous guy for us. Looks like we need to seriously think about what to do with him.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. That seven years old kid?” Ryo rolled his eyes.

Yamapi chuckled again, but seconds later his laughter died. Ryo frowned, staring at his best friend. “Ryo, are we really scary creatures? Do people really cannot accept us in the society?” Yamapi’s question made Ryo froze, eyes darted, piercing into Yamapi’s.

“Pi, stop that,” Ryo warned. His tone was dangerously low. “I can’t afford to clean the mess again.”

“What do you expect me to feel, Ryo? I felt insecure...”

“Pi, I lost Takki, I don’t want to lose you this time!” Ryo’s voice rose in anger. “Get a hold of yourself! You can’t lose to whatever inside you. Why does it have to be Jin anyway? Why can’t it be someone easier?  It hurts, Pi, and you knew it long ago!”

“I never asked the situation to be like this!” Yamapi yelled back, picking himself up to face Ryo. “And love was never meant to be easy! You never get over Takki yourself! You, out of all people, should have understood this better!”

Ryo was taken aback by Yamapi’s outburst. For a few seconds, they were surrounded by silence. Different feelings mixed inside them, and Ryo stared deep into his friend’s eyes. It wasn’t because he doesn’t want to understand, but watching Yamapi struggling to find a place by Jin’s side just hurt him. He wanted Yamapi to be happy. Was that something too much to ask for?

“Ano...”

Yamapi spun, looking at Ueda standing at the kitchen door.

“I left my wallet,” Ueda stuttered. Yamapi thought he might have heard all the yelling. But Yamapi’s heart wasn’t stable enough to even say anything.

“Never mind. I don’t feel like having beers tonight. Let’s just cancel the order,” Yamapi said quietly, patting Ueda’s shoulder as he left, slamming the door. For another few seconds, Ueda stood there, looking at the closed door before turning towards Ryo.

Ryo gritted his teeth, scratching his head roughly. It felt like . Ryo just couldn’t calm himself down. And for the first time Ueda didn’t dare to say anything to Ryo. Ueda wasn’t even sure if Ryo appreciates any worthless bickering at this point. It was his first time seeing Ryo this crushed.

“I’m such an idiot,” Ryo mumbled under his breath. “I should have known better.”

Ueda bit his lips, slowly approaching Ryo as he shoved a candy. Ryo frowned, looking back at Ueda questioningly. “It usually makes me feel better,” Ueda shrugged. Ryo’s brows rose.

“Thanks,” Ryo couldn’t help but to grin a bit. “But I don’t really like sweet things.”

“Too bad,” Ueda smiled, opening the candy wrapping before stuffing into his own mouth. Ryo shook his head, ruffling Ueda’s copper hair.

“Sorry to make you see such pointless argument,” Ryo said, sighing softly. “I was being a bit selfish. I knew all along love is always difficult. I hope I can just simply forget everything.”

“Forgetting everything feels like though,” Ueda disagreed, looking down morosely. “I wish I could remember everything. You and Pi just wouldn’t tell what happen to me before. I don’t even know if I ever have a lover.”

Ryo blinked. He took a while to stare at Ueda before shifting uncomfortably. “I... Don’t really know,” he didn’t lie. “Maybe you have one, but you didn’t tell us?”

“Am I a secretive guy?”

“Well...” Ryo stuttered, trying to find something he can get away with. How was he supposed to answer that? Suddenly he remembered something. “Follow me. I’d like to show you this,” he walked out from the kitchen, leaving all the ingredients behind. Ueda hesitantly followed him, entering their study room. Then Ryo took out a handkerchief from the desk drawer and handed it out to Ueda.

“When we...” Ryo paused when he realized he was about to say some inappropriate things. Carefully he reformed his sentence. “Before you lost your memories you never let go of this. I wonder if it means anything to you.”

Slowly Ueda took the handkerchief from Ryo’s hand. His name embroidered at one corner of the handkerchief made him stare longer. He couldn’t exactly remember everything but at least he knew he can’t sew. “Someone probably gave this to me,” his tone was low. His mind was trying to remember something. “I can’t really tell,” and he gave up. “How does it feel to fall in love?”

Ryo chuckled. “It felt good,” he sat on the chair. “At least to me it felt nice, depending on who that person is.”

Ueda grinned at that. “What type of person your lover was?”

“He’s awesome. If he was still alive, I’m sure you’ll love him,” Ryo said proudly. “He is the type who would accept you as you are, when everyone hates you. The type who would make you love yourself when you started to hate your own life.”

Ueda stared at Ryo intently. “Sounds like a very incredible guy,” he said in astonishment, and Ryo smiled, taking out his necklace with Takki’s pearl. Ueda left Ryo in silence as Ryo stared down to the white pearl.

For once, Ueda restrained himself from mocking Ryo at any form. He shifted uncomfortably for a while, thinking of leaving Ryo alone. But then his eyes lowered down to the sketch papers scattered on the desk. He couldn’t really understand what Ryo and Yamapi tried to draw, but it looks like the two had taken the likings of the five colors.

“Why are you and Pi kept drawing the stars anyway?” he asked bluntly, picking up one of the sketch papers.

Ryo blinked, glanced a bit at the paper in Ueda’s hand before rolling his eyes. “That’s not a star, idiot. That’s a circle. I know you’re a seven-year-old kid, but if you can’t even judge the difference between a circle and a star, you don’t even pass seven years old! Heck, even babies...” Ryo flailed dramatically and paused mid-sentence when something crossed his mind. He jerked up, putting aside Takki’s pearl as he snatched the paper from Ueda’s hand.

“Wait,” Ryo almost gasped. “A star in a circle?” he thought, picking a pen from the desk as he started to join the colors to form a five-angled star. Ueda thought he almost saw Ryo trembled as he finished drawing the star and connected the angle to form a circle – the pentagram with the circle. “No way,” Ryo scrunched the paper, gritting his teeth. Ueda could see anger in Ryo’s eyes. The next second they knew, Ryo dashed outside, bringing along the paper with him.

“You stay home! I need to find Pi as soon as possible!” was the only thing Ryo managed to say to Ueda.

Ueda blinked a few times, confusion appears blatantly on his face. What the hell is happening between these two anyway? He sighed. He wasn’t that stupid not to realize there was something Yamapi and Ryo were up to, but he just couldn’t figure it out. Ueda looked down at the desk, and he noticed the white pearl Ryo left behind. He frowned. If he wasn’t mistaken Ryo really loves that pearl. Probably Takki gave to him some time ago. Carefully Ueda picked it up, studying the beautiful pearl in his hand. It was his first time touching Ryo’s important pearl, and he felt a bit nervous.

Just a few seconds after, the pearl started to shine. Ueda felt the pearl becoming warmer. And suddenly images started to flash inside his mind. The moments when he greeted another five lads when he started to become a Keeper, the moments when he fooled around with the rest of KAT-TUN, the moments when his mother turned into a Liminal, the moments when he killed his own mother because his mother killed his neighborhood people, the moments when Taguchi sewed the handkerchief for him to make him feel better when his soul was crying, the moments when he decided to go and search for the unicorn when he found out the unicorn might be able to do something about this whole ty situation they were in, and up to the moments when he turned into a Liminal himself – a dragon.

Ueda almost choked in his own breath. His eyes wide, pupils dilated, trying to bear everything in a few seconds. He was a Liminal? He didn’t kill anyone, did he? Why? It can’t be! Where did he go wrong? What did he do? Why is he even alive right now? So many questions lingered inside Ueda’s head, he felt he almost exploded. Then he remembered the moment when Ryo turned into a phoenix, and Yamapi jumped onto his head. Ueda gripped the white pearl tighter, his other hand propping by the side of the desk, supporting his almost limp body. And everything goes back to him. The pain on his head when he woke up by Yamapi and Ryo’s side, he wondered what that was. The pain was sharp in nature, it can't just be something as simple as knocking his head over some rocks – as per what Yamap and Ryo told him.

Instinctively he ran to the bathroom, rubbing his head for a while before reaching for a shaver. He looked into the mirror in determination, staring at the stream of tears falling down his cheeks. Chest heaving, he slowly turned the shaver on, shaving his head bald. He wanted to see with his own eyes, what kind of wound it was on his head. At that moment, his heart was pounding heavily. What the hell was happening to him?



To be continued...

And bonus - the image Ryo sketched that he brought to Pi. I had troubles with the golden color though, I hope it fits... :P