A new year?

Isn’t a new year supposed to be where your sins are forgotten and you can have a fresh start? Or are my sins that bad to where they can’t be forgotten?

I let the only thing I love go—I let the only thing I love go for drugs, for alcohol, for everything else but him, and by the time I realized what a stupid mistake I made he was gone. He was gone from my life and there was no way to get him back to me.

Yang Yoseob was gone, and I didn’t know how to get him back because obviously my sins won’t leave me alone, even if it is a new year.  Even if it is a new year my sins will always haunt me, will always remind me of what a stupid decision I made.

There is no fresh start for me, no happy ending for me—or so I thought.

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It was the night before the year was going to change to 2012, and I was sitting in my apartment alone looking at all the happy people on the streets of New York, laughing, smiling, and just having fun with all of their friends.

I wish—oh how I wish that I could be down there with Yoseob, but he was probably off somewhere with a new boyfriend living that life that I had always envisioned for him. I had always told him that he should be with someone else because I wasn’t the one for him, but he always denied that I was right and stuck right by me, but—drugs—drugs were more powerful to me than love at the time and I just couldn’t help myself.

I jumped when I heard my cell phone go off in the kitchen.

“Who the hell?” I muttered, reluctantly pulling away from the window to grab my phone from the counter, my eyes widening in surprise when I recognized the number.

“Yoseob?”

I opened up the text message, my heart pounding with anticipation.

Meet me in Times Square, we need to talk.

That was what the entire message said, just simple and to the point and it was all I needed to get dressed and run out of my apartment.

Even if I had told myself that this way for the best, that Yoseob was better off with somebody else, it would always be replaced with the need—the need to see, to love, to touch Yoseob.

I ran—I ran until my legs finally reached Times Square. My eyes were searching frantically for Yoseob, but it was hard to find him because there were so many people in my way.

Suddenly arms circled around my waist and warm breath tickled my ear.

“I didn’t think you would come, but I’m glad you did.”

I loosened his arms a bit so I could turn around to look at him. My breathing seemed to stop the minute I laid eyes on him—everything about him was just so god damn beautiful. How—how the hell could I ever let him go? How could I screw up this bad?

“I’m sorry,” was all I could manage to say while choking back on my tears. “I’m sorry for treating you like , and not treating you like an angel. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me or if I’ll forgive myself, but I just want you back.”

Yoseob laughed—and I was puzzled. Why the hell was he laughing? Was what I said really that funny to him?

“Love, I’ve already forgiven you. I’ve forgiven you from the very moment I left you; I was just hoping that you would realize what you were missing.”

I breathed out, and smiled lifting my hand to cradle his cheek.

“I have Yoseob, I have and I don’t ever want you to leave me ever again because I need you even if I don’t admit later on I do need you.”

“5!” Everybody around us yelled.

Yoseob wrapped his arms around my neck.

“4!”

I wrapped my hands around his waist, and all the sparks that I’ve missed came back and let me tell you it felt great.

“3!”

We both leaned in, our lips inches apart.

“2!”

We tease each other, with tongues lips.

“1!”

“Happy New Year!” Everyone cheers and our lips connect.

Oh yes, they were right it was a very happy new year indeed.

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope 2012 has been treating you well even though it's only 12:31 a.m. here, but

Yeah happy new year, and I hope you enjoy this!