"Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you."

- Gaby Dunn

There’s a loud scream that sends half of the employees at SM Paper and Supplies jumping out of their seats, loud murmurs of question can be heard across the office until Kyungsoo comes out of the kitchen covered in flour. The once interested workers quickly duck their heads behind their monitors, careful not be caught staring at the raging man covered head to toe with white powder. Kyungsoo slowly makes his way back to his desk, glaring at anyone who stifles a giggle or flat out laughs. Park Chanyeol’s name can be heard muttered from Kyungsoo’s mouth as he seethes in his leather chair.

The man of the hour is not in his desk or over by the water coolers, he’s hiding behind the large reception desk with Baekhyun, tears spilling down their faces as they try to stop themselves from laughing.

 ----

It’s the sounds of clicking keys and voices of overtired salesmen that drive Chanyeol up the wall and with every jab to his withering self restraint he always finds his way over to the receptionist desk where Baekhyun sits.

“SM Paper and Supplies, this is Baekhyun.” He's smiling like he always does, "Make them hear you smile." Is a quote their boss, Junmyeon lives by. What he doesn't live by is Baekhyun pretending to shoot himself every time he takes a call.

“Hold on I’ll transfer you.” Baekhyun says in his usual happy voice, finger gun loaded and ready as he presses the desired buttons on the phone. Minseok’s phone rings from across the room. Chanyeol waits until Baekhyun puts down the receiver before laying his head across the desk. His long fingers tap a slow rhythm on the wood beneath his nail.

“You know, Byun” he starts, his low voice almost inaudible from the way he’s pushing his face into the wooden structure. “I head Junmyeon talking about that new operating system that does like 80% of your job. What if he's finally coming to his senses and firing your lazy ?” His fingers stop tapping and he turns his head so he’s facing Baekhyun completely.

Baekhyun stops typing and glares at him, flicking him in the forehead. Chanyeol fakes a gasps at Baekhyun's violent outburst.  

“You know Park," He mocks. "I like to think I’m here because of my exceptional talent at waste bin basketball and saving your sorry from boredom and not just because I can transfer a call,” Baekhyun is grinning and Chanyeol ducks his head, Baekhyun’s smile always seems too bright for him.

“And besides,” he continues, sliding his chair out from the desk to kick off his shoes, he leans closer, face inches from Chanyeol's .

“You’d die without me.” He winks and pops a mint in his mouth going back to whatever task he was doing before Chanyeol annoyed him. Chanyeol swallows thickly, trying to think of all the ways that statement isn’t 100% true.

Chanyeol trips on nothing as he makes his way back to his desk causing Baekhyun to chuckle from behind his screen. He slams his head down on his keyboard, willing his racing heart to either slow down or stop altogether.

Chanyeol’s known Baekhyun for 3 years, and he’s loved him just as long.

----

Baekhyun and him are best friends.

“You know Chanyeol” Baekhyun says casually as he files away papers for Junmyeon, “I would probably shoot my brains out of boredom if you weren’t here.” He doesn’t even look up as he speaks, putting all his effort into carefully sliding each sheet into their corresponding manila folder.

Chanyeol just nods, what’s another usual conversation between friends. There are no ulterior meanings behind that sentence, Baekhyun is simply stating that Chanyeol makes the workplace enjoyable. That’s it.

They know how to comfort one another. 

When Chanyeol is on the verge of either homicide or suicide, Baekhyun is always there to calm him down and when Baekhyun is drunk, crying over another fight he had with his fiancé, Chanyeol doesn’t even bat an eye as he gathers Baekhyun in his arms and whispers everything will work itself out. It always does.

----

It's the smell of fresh dirt and midlife crisis’ that wake Chanyeol from his hourly nap. Cracking open one eye he can see the office in their usual slum routine of packing up their things and making the usual route to the kitchen to eat their sad boring lunches and Kyungsoo chopping beets at his desk, cutting board and all. Chanyeol can't judge though, he’s had ham and cheese sandwiches for the past month.

When Sehun walks into the office, clad in his warehouse jumpsuit and two brown bagged lunches in hand. Chanyeol's sudden appetite dissipates, leaving him with curled fists and an aching stomach.

Chanyeol used to think Sehun was an okay guy, but ever since he started dating Baekhyun he hasn't been able to stomach being in the same room with him. Sehun is always late picking Baekhyun up and he never lets Baekhyun do anything that doesn't involve him, he never brushes Baekhyun’s hair out of his eyes when he hasn’t had time to get it cut and he never buys Baekhyun’s favorite type of yogurt (peach) for their lunches. (Even in his last moments alive, Chanyeol doesn’t think he’d ever admit to doing any of these thing.) Sehun doesn’t do much as Baekhyun’s fiancé except disappoint.

“Sehun!” 

Baekhyun is out of his seat as quick as humanly possible as he jumps into the taller man's arms. Chanyeol scowls into his ham and cheese sandwich as Sehun smiles fondly at back at Baekhyun and it gives him a migraine. Chanyeol gets up, intending to finish his lunch in the break room with the rest of the employees- or the ones who make their own lunches like him, leaving Jongin, Yixing and Minseok. 

Baekhyun laughs at something his fiancé says and Chanyeol’s sure his dry throat has nothing to do with his stale sandwich. He throws it in the nearest trashcan and decides to take the rest of the day off.

----

It was last year when Baekhyun kissed Chanyeol for the first time. They were at Chili's with the rest of the office getting drunk over their miserable lives. The booze was cheap and the bartender was easy, Baekhyun was entirely out of it after three shots. His small frame wasswaying from side to side on the ripping leather stool whining about Kris leaving without him. Chanyeol couldn’t even leave him to go to the bathroom out of  fear he'd fall, hit his head and die. After one particularly hard sob Baekhyun found himself draped across Chanyeol's chest, strong arms immediately coming around his waist to hold him up. 

“I got you Baek. Don't worry.” Baekhyun giggled his drunken giggle and reached up on his tiptoes to place a soft kiss on Chanyeol's lips.

“Thanks, I love you.” he slurred just before he passed out. 

Baekhyun’s lips taste like vanilla and booze and all the bad decisions Chanyeol has ever made and wants to keep making. (He tries desperately to convince himself otherwise.) 

---- 

The first day of summer is in a week and the other employees are full of excitement as Jongin and Jongdae explain the details of the party. Chanyeol turns to Baekhyun who is always sitting right next to him and smiles, He likes knowing Baekhyun will always smile back.

Jongdae’s just in the middle of explaining why tablecloths are the silent party killer when Jongin suddenly stands up.

“Fireworks.”

Chanyeol furrows his brow in confusion, giving Baekhyun a side-eyed look before clearing his throat.

“Fireworks… Do you want them at the party?” Jongin just nods appreciatively at him, smiles and then leaves the room.

Baekhyun nods as well and turns to look at Chanyeol as he whispers. “Fireworks. I’ve never seen them.”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, “You’ve never seen fireworks?” He keeps his voice low enough so Jongdae doesn’t hear him. The last Chanyeol interrupted Jongdae’s thought process was also coincidentally the time he found his hair dyed pink after falling asleep at his desk.

“Park, I hardly think that small piece of information calls for this type of reaction.” Baekhyun chides. “Besides, they're just lights."

“Just lights?” Chanyeol’s voice cracks over the last word leaving Baekhyun choking on his coffee while Jongdae sends death glares to both of them.

----

Chanyeol has loved Baekhyun for a long time, longer than he’d like to admit. He’s never been one to open up about himself or talk about his feelings, especially the ones his family don’t approve of. He keeps things inside so that no one can hurt him and he plays jokes and makes people laugh so they don’t notice the dark bags under his eyes or his bleeding nail buds.

He never questioned his feelings toward anyone until Baekhyun showed up, he didn't have too. He was a believed that if he was meant to be with someone, he'd know. And he did but he didn’t understand what it was he was feeling or why he was feeling it. He just labeled it as friendship and swept it under the rug. That was until he walked in on Sehun and Baekhyun making out in the warehouse one afternoon and he spent the rest of the day with an aching stomach and terrible chest pain. It took him two days to understand what he was feeling and two years to suppress it. He had to remind himself to stop looking at Baekhyun when he wasn’t looking back or texting him too much when they were supposed to be working. He pushed away the lingering thoughts about how it would feel to kiss him or traces the moles along his skin.

Ignoring Baekhyun was his first plan, if he just didn’t see him the feelings would die off and he could finally breathe. Except, it wasn’t that easy and Baekhyun caught on quicker than he’d like to admit.

He remembers Baekhyun followed him into the washroom one day during lunch and locked the door behind him. The click of metal 

“What are you doing?” He remembers Baekhyun’s hair was black. It was purple the week before but Sehun said the color looked bad on him. 

“Washing my hands." Chanyeol gripped the edge of the sink to keep himself steady. His head was swimming, he hadn’t talked to Baekhyun in a week, hadn’t looked over at his desk or texted him either.

Baekhyun had rolled his eyes and kicked Chanyeol in the shin. Chanyeol grit his teeth against the pain. When he looked up and made eye contact with Baekhyun for the first time in a week he remembers all the air leaving his lungs so quickly he almost passed out.

“Don’t be stupid. I know you’re ignoring me, I don’t know why but I want it to stop.” Although his tone was harsh, when Chanyeol looked at him he looked anything but angry.. He looked worried. Chanyeol inwardly swore at himself for ever thinking this was a good idea. He smiled sheepishly at him through the grimy mirror. Baekhyun glared back before unlocking the door and stepping back into the office.

That was two years ago. He likes to think that one day he’ll wake up and he won’t want to want Baekhyun, that one day he’ll wake up and the hole he dug into his own heart will be filled and he won’t breakdown in the office bathroom when he hears Baekhyun whispering I love you into his phone.

He likes to think that but he knows it's not happening anytime soon.

----

“Do you think Kyungsoo’s finally going to make out with Junmyeon tonight or should I save my bet for the Christmas party?” Chanyeol asks as he cross the three foot distance there is between his desk and Baekhyun’s.

“Baekhyun?” The man in question is slumped over his desk, his head in his hands. He makes a small groaning sound as Chanyeol lifts his head with a ruler, when he releases it he falls back into his arms a loud bang emitting from his skull hitting the wood desk.

“Baek? What’s wrong?” He’s glad Baekhyun won’t look at him just yet, scared of the worry that’s showing in his eyes. Chanyeol makes his way around the desk and kneels in front of Baekhyun. He nudges him a few times before Baekhyun gives up and turns his chair towards him.

“Hi Chanyeol.” His voice is soft, he looks tired. The dark eye bags under his small eyes proving his thought. Chanyeol brushes Baekhyun’s dark his hair of his forehead and out of his eyes running his thumb across his cheekbone.

“Late night?” He tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach.

“Sehun- We, um. He thinks I'm cheating on him and he-” his soft voice cracks and he digs his head back under his arms. “We had this huge fight and he left and I- he didn’t come home last night. He wasn't in the warehouse today either? What if he realized how awful I am and left me for good?” He’s sobbing now and Chanyeol’s butterflies turn into lead.

How on earth can you think you’re anything short of absolutely wonderful Byun Baekhyun?

“Baekhyun, listen to me okay? You’re far from awful, you’re the best person I know and I know a lot of people so that’s quite a compliment don’t you think?” Baekhyun chuckles, his laughter never fails to send chills down Chanyeol’s spine.

“Sehun would be a complete if he left you, which he is believe me but he won’t leave you, he loves you.” Chanyeol isn’t lying through his teeth like he thought he’d be, Sehun loves Baekhyun in some twisted, ed up way that he'll never understand and Baekhyun loves Sehun which is a bitter pill to swallow no matter how many times he's heard it, but it’s the truth and Chanyeol is learning to accept it. Baekhyun finally tilts his head to meet Chanyeol’s eye and when he does Chanyeol swears he can taste how ed he is. Baekhyun is sitting there with tears in his eyes and snot on his nose but Chanyeol thinks he the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. (Maybe he’s not as close to accepting it as he would like to be.)

Loving Baekhyun is like breathing Chanyeol decides, it’s constant. He doesn’t have to think about Baekhyun’s laugh or his smile or the way his fingers fit in his to know that he’s in love. Even now, holding him while he cries over someone else Chanyeol doesn't think he would give this up for anything.

----

It’s the first day of summer and the entire office is out in the parking lot, there are games and loud music and even a table of snacks but Chanyeol doesn’t enjoy any of it half as much as he enjoys how painfully beautiful Baekhyun looks painted by moonlight. He’s always more beautiful when Sehun isn’t in the picture.

Baekhyun catches Chanyeol’s gaze across the lot and makes his way over to where Chanyeol is awkwardly standing by the punch. 

“Hey, how have you been?” He asks, his low voice barely reaching over the incredibly loud music.

“I’ve been better” Baekhyun muses, Chanyeol knows it has something to do with the fact that Baekhyun is alone tonight, but he won’t dare comment on it. Baekhyun leans his head on Chanyeol’s clothed shoulder, exhaling with a deal sigh. It's small moments like these where Chanyeol thinks that he could live like this, just being his friend because just being in Baekhyun's life is enough for him- it should be enough for him. (He's always been a little selfish.)

“I’m so tired.” He whispers into Chanyeol’s shirt, fogging up the thick fabric. Baekhyun’s fists are curled up next to Chanyeol’s heart and he prays to every God that he doesn’t feel how fast it’s beating. He finds his hand unconsciously running through Baekhyun’s dark hair, he knows why Baekhyun always comes to him and he sees red every time he remembers.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Chanyeol whispers, the party and laughter now background noise to Baekhyun’s light sobs.

“You don’t deserve to feel like this, you deserve to feel something Baekhyun.” Chanyeol tries to keep his feelings from dripping off every syllable that comes from his mouth but with the way Baekhyun’s kohl rimmed eyes line with tears he isn’t sure he does a good job.

Chanyeol slides his hands up from Baekhyun’s waist to cupping his slightly flushed cheeks, swiping his thumb across his cheekbone to catch his tears. Maybe this is where he’s meant to be he thinks as he continues to cradle Baekhyun’s face, holding him like he’s the only person who’s ever mattered. (He is.)

Chanyeol softly steps back from Baekhyun, placing much needed distance between the two,

Baekhyun’s head tilts in confusion, rubbing at his tear swollen cheeks.

“I have a surprise for you” Chanyeol whispers placing a soft kiss to his forehead.

Baekhyun’s eyes light up at the announcement and Chanyeol swears he can see the entire universe in his soft brown gaze, he ducks his head careful not to stare too long and grabs Baekhyun’s hand.

----

Baekhyun hadn’t questioned him as he pulled him onto the roof, he had barely said a thing since Chanyeol grabbed his hand. 

Chanyeol loves Baekhyun’s hands; how they fit just right in his. He hates the fact that they fit better in Sehun's. He hates the fact that Baekhyun wakes up in another guy's arms. He hates the fact that when he holds Baekhyun’s hand, the metal of his engagement ring leaves palm cold. He wants to look at Baekhyun and not see bags hiding under his eyes and he wants to hold him knowing he’s only thinking about him. Chanyeol wants Baekhyun to want him. He's entirely too selfish when it comes to Byun Baekhyun even though Byun Baekhyun isn't his.

“Just-” Chanyeol breaks the silence pushing Baekhyun into the old lawn chair from his garage that now sits four stories up on SM’s roof.

“Sit and enjoy.” Chanyeol takes the seat next to Baekhyun. The air around them is boiling but Chanyeol can feel the goosebumps erupting on his skin as Baekhyun shifts is chair closer, their arms touching.

His heart is racing a mile a minute and he can’t seem to stop his hands from clamming up, no matter how many times he subtly wipes them on his jeans. It’s eerily quiet, a rare feat for the duo. Their moments together usually loud and headache inducing, never this.

“When I was a kid I used to think that happiness was something you had to make happen yourself, that no matter what happened in life you were the one responsible for your feelings. I closed myself off from everyone when I grew up enough to realise that my parents didn’t accept me for the way I am, I thought that if I could forget the way they treated me I could make myself feel something again because they told me I had to do it alone. I spent my high school and university career afraid to feel anything, I didn’t know how to connect with anyone.”

There’s a loud ringing in his ear and it takes all of him to keep his voice steady. “Then I met you and everything my parents ever told me, everything they drilled into my brain dissolved because I knew in that moment I could always count on you to make me feel something other than just okay. I figured out that yeah we’re responsible for our own feelings, but we can’t always count on ourselves you know? There’s always going to be that one person who smiles a little brighter, and laughs a little louder, and makes your whole life not so boring after all.”

“I just like to think that there’s person out there for all of us”

It’s silent when he finishes, he can’t tell what Baekhyun’s doing whether it’s crying from laughter or he jumped off the roof halfway through his story. All seem plausible. Chanyeol has dibs on jumping if Baekhyun hadn’t already.He isn't sure why he said all that, maybe he's hoping Baekhyun will understand his feelings without him having to actually say the words themselves

“But how do you know you’re with the right person?” His soft voice like a crack of thunder, Chanyeol’s head whipping up at an embarrassingly high speed. He doesn’t look uncomfortable in fact he looks… nervous.

The night is too hot and Baekhyun’s too close and Chanyeol can feel the sweat soaking his clothes.

“It has to feel right Baekhyun, it has to feel like every single moment of your entire life has been leading up to finding this one person. They should take your breath away with just a glance, and you should feel your heartbeat in your fingertips when they’re close.” Chanyeol fiddles with his shaking fingers. Baekhyun’s smiling and it puts every single star in the night sky to shame. His heart aches.

“It should feel like you’re on earth just to see them smile.”

He can feel Baekhyun’s eyes on him, his stare making his skin itch. Chanyeol is always the one staring at Baekhyun, never the other way around so when he turns to meet his gaze he’s taken aback at the intensity in Baekhyun’s eyes. They’re the clearest Chanyeol’s ever seen them in 3 years, he looks like he's finally seeing Chanyeol for the first time. He doesn’t say a word and neither does Baekhyun, their faces are entirely too close and Chanyeol could count Baekhyun’s eyelashes if he wasn’t trying so hard not to stare at his lips. He could kiss Baekhyun, really kiss him right here on the roof, he could pour every thought and every hidden feeling into it and maybe, just maybe Baekhyun would finally feel an ounce of what he feels.

There’s a slight flush raking up Baekhyun’s neck, extenuating his soft features, that Chanyeol can spot even in the dark. It’s probably from the heat he suggests. Baekhyun is staring at Chanyeol and he can feel it- the words on the verge of spilling, the words he’s spent three years trying to convince himself aren’t true . His throat is so dry and he’s so close to just saying it his hands are shaking, and Baekhyun is still staring. They’re impossibly close now, each one unconsciously inching forward, Chanyeol can feel his heartbeat in his throat as he drops his eyes from Baekhyun’s eyes to his lips and quickly back up. He can feel a drop of sweat resting on his cupid's bow and a soft hand now cupping his jaw, wiping the sweat from his face. Baekhyun is watching as the sweat disappears behind his thumb, Baekhyun’s pulling him forward slowly.

It hits him. This is really happening.

“Baekhyun, I need to tell you something.” Chanyeol pulls back, ignoring the crack in his voice, his clears his throat but it doesn’t stop his throat from closing up. He can’t do this, Baekhyun’s engaged to someone else, Chanyeol’s missed his chance. He can’t let himself kiss him, Baekhyun doesn’t deserve the guilt he’ll feel afterwards. His skin is itchy from the sweat and the weather’s too hot and Baekhyun’s too not single for this to be the moment. Baekhyun doesn’t know how he feels and maybe it’s for the best, he wouldn’t lose his best friend, he wouldn’t have to quit his job or move out the country. He wouldn’t have to listen to Baekhyun say “I love you too, but not in that way.” But, he doesn’t know if he can keep it inside much longer it eats away at him. It manifests, like a disease. He’s gone years bottling up and storing away his feelings because they didn’t matter or were wrong and even though Baekhyun loves someone that isn’t him, not telling him would probably destroy Chanyeol even more.

The hand that was running up and down his cheek has now stopped and is removed entirely from his face, he feels a lot colder despite the humidity. He likes to think he’s never missed a moment staring at Baekhyun’s face but he might be glad he missed this one- the widening eyes of someone releasing their doing something wrong.

“Baekhyun, I-”

There's a loud bang that tears Baekhyun’s eyes to the sky and shakes Chanyeol from his seat, he doesn’t see Baekhyun’s disappointed eyes when he finally turns his head, his half confession burning his tongue like acid. There’s another bang and thousands of colors explode, lighting up the night sky, Baekhyun gasps the show in the sky reflecting off his large dark eyes. The array of lights across almost distract Chanyeol from the thought that he, Park Chanyeol will have to live a long life without Byun Baekhyun. Maybe in another life he deserves him.

“Fireworks,” Baekhyun whispers, his small mouth agape. “They’re beautiful” his small hands clutching his cheeks in wonder. Chanyeol misses Baekhyun’s fingers wiping a stray tear from his cheek.

“Yeah, ” Chanyeol replies breathless as he watches Baekhyun, digging his nails into his palm to stop the tears from falling. “They are."