SHIN HARU

“Umma! Umma!”

I looked up ahead to see my dear son running towards where I was standing at the moment. He had just ended his school hours and I was there to fetch him as usual.

“Aigoo! My baby!” I exclaimed as I managed to catch him just in time as he threw himself right into my arms. I stood up straight, hugging my boy tightly before looking straight into his eyes. “Did you have fun in school today?”

I laughed when he nodded his head eagerly, “Neh umma! I did painting and I played toys with my friends!”

“Did you share?” I asked, eyeing him carefully. Knowing him, he had this habit of being slightly selfish especially when it involved toys.

“Um, I shared a little bit.” My boy answered softly, his voice sounded guilty. But despite that, I smiled and shook my head.

“Ahrasso. I am proud of you.” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “Come, let’s go eat dinner. What do you want to eat?”

“Chicken!” My son exclaimed excitedly and I laughed yet again.

“Chicken again?” I pouted.

“But Hyunki loves chicken.” My son pouted back in return and did a little aegyo for me by squishing both his cheeks together with his hands.

I laughed so hard and could not help but to agree with his request.

“Ahrasso. We’ll eat chicken then. Umma knows a special place and the fried chicken there is so delicious!”

“Yay! Delicious chicken! Yummy chicken!”

My son Hyunki was my life. Having him was the best decision ever.

***

LEE JINKI

It was a Wednesday and I was alone at home. The rest of my members were out doing their individual schedules. I was currently on a rest break after wrapping up filming a drama for three whole months.

I looked at the clock and realized it was already five in the evening. My stomach was grumbling and I knew I had to do something before my hunger got worst.

“Hyung. I will be heading out for a while.” I informed my manager through the phone as I wore my shoes near the exit.

“Out? Where?” My manager had asked.

“Food. Starving.”

“Ahrasso. But make sure to be careful.” He said.

“I know. I will be driving anyway.” I told him.

“Ok.”

“Neh. I’ll be back soon.”

I placed my phone back into my jeans pocket before finally leaving the dorm and headed towards the basement carpark where my car was parked at.

As I drove my car towards the main road, I decided to have chicken and fries for dinner. And I knew just the place where they served delicious and yummy chicken.

***

SHIN HARU

I smiled wide the moment I entered the restaurant. The smell of chicken was overwhelming my senses and somehow suddenly made me think of things I should not have thought of in the first place. I stood in the middle of the restaurant, numb and frozen, but only for a moment.

“Umma?”

I looked down when I felt a hand pulling at the hem of my dress. I smiled in relief when I saw Hyunki looking at me questioningly.

“Umma, kwenchana? Are you sick?” Hyunki asked, jutting his bottom lip slightly.

“Ani baby. I am fine.” I told him, still smiling. “Come, let’s get some chicken okay?”

“Neh umma!”

I carried my son in my embrace before joining the queue towards the counter.

***

LEE JINKI

Luckily the restaurant was not as packed as I thought it would be. The moment I entered the restaurant, I immediately joined the queue behind a woman and a little boy. The woman was carrying the boy in her arms and she looked a little concentrated with the menu that was displayed at the top of the counter. But the boy in her arms was looking at me while he had his chin resting on the woman’s shoulder.

I looked back at the boy and smiled. And surprisingly, the boy returned the gesture by giving me a wide eye smile as well. And right at that very moment I could not help but to think that his face looked utterly familiar. I wondered if I did meet him somewhere before…

“Annyong!” I mouthed at him while waving my hand at him. He looked so adorable! I could just bite his cheek!

The boy did not reply to my greeting but he did return the wave towards me and that was satisfying enough. Then I watched as he reached his hand nearer to me as if asking for a handshake. I grinned quietly as I wrapped my hands gently around his smaller ones. And as if on cue, I instantly felt my heart thumping so fast as I continued to look at the little boy. He now had a small cheeky grin registered across his face and soon enough he had pulled his hand away from my grip.

I looked at my empty hand before it tightly. I was not sure what had happened but it felt as if I had suddenly lost my heart. I watched as the boy was now looking at the woman who was carrying him. He had placed both his hands against her cheeks and then I heard him say it loud and clear, “Saranghae umma!”.

And as if time had suddenly stopped, even from the side view I was still able to see who the woman was.

It was Shin Haru, my ex-girlfriend from three years ago. The one whom I caught cheating on me with my own best friend. Well, ex-best friend to be exact.

***

SHIN HARU

“Saranghae umma.” Hyunki suddenly said as he held both my cheeks tenderly in his hands.

“Aigoo! Nado, saranghae Hyunki-ah.” I said, hugging him even more tightly than ever.

“Shin Haru. The last person I expected to see here.”

I snapped my head around the moment I heard his voice. And there he was standing behind me with his arms crossed.

“J-Jinki.” I stuttered, still unable to shake the shock out of my system.

“It’s a miracle you can still remember my name.” Jinki smirked.

“I-I got to go.” I said as I adjusted my grip onto Hyunki before leaving the queue and hurriedly running towards the restaurant’s exit.

“Bye ahjussi!” Hyunki’s voice sounded in my ear and that was when I realized he was bidding good bye to Lee Jinki, his unknown father.

***

LEE JINKI

“It’s a miracle you can still remember my name.” I told her, smirking slightly at her surprised expression. My heart was suddenly burning with anger from three years ago.

I wanted to taunt her further, wanting to remind her of the hurt she had inflicted on me in the past. I wanted her to know of the suffering I had gone through because of her. I felt satisfied when I saw that panic and scared look she had etched across her face. I wanted to say something more hurtful but the next thing I knew she was already running towards the restaurant’s exit. I hissed in frustration but immediately jolted back to attention when I heard a soft “Bye ahjussi!” coming from the little boy in her arms.

Then unknowingly the flashback started to play right in front of me, with the same woman, at the very same restaurant.

“Jinki, I want to talk to you.” Haru said as she wrapped both hands around my arm. But I shook her grip off me. I was not in the mood for her especially after finding out about her and Dongwook…

“I want to talk to you as well.” I told her. I could not even bother to look at her. “Say it quickly because I need to leave for my schedule.”

“But Jonghyun-ssi said SHINee is free today…”

“So now you’re even keeping contact with Jonghyun. Who else after him, Minho?” I exclaimed whilst glaring at her, my anger rising by the second.

“What’s wrong with you? Aigoo! Ahrasso. I won’t contact your members anymore.” Haru made a small pout before smiling again. On usual days, I would find her actions cute, but definitely not today.

“Faster say whatever you want to say, I need to go soon.”

“Aren’t you going to stay for dinner? I have ordered the chicken and it is your favourite.”

“Can you just tell me what the hell you wanted to say?!” I shouted angrily, not wanting to hide my feelings already. Haru looked surprised at my outburst. Her lower lips began to tremble. She totally did not expect this from me.

“J-Jinki…”

“Stop with the acting Shin Haru! I already know your lies!” I said.

“L-Lies? W-What are you saying?”

“You and Dongwook. I saw the two of you together entering that motel!” I was clenching my fists as I brought up the scene that I saw involving my girlfriend and best friend a couple of nights ago.

“B-But that is not what you think it is.” Haru said and she looked panic for a second.

“I know what I saw! You’ve been cheating on me with Dongwook! I should have believe Rayul when she told me about you and Dongwook previously.”

“Rayul? My friend Rayul? No! That’s a lie!” By now Haru was already a crying mess but I could never give a damn about her feelings anymore. I needed to take care of my own heart first.

“Let’s break up.”

“B-But…”

“But what Shin Haru?! But what?!”

“I -I’m p-pregnant.”

I was stunned for a moment before realization hit me. She was trying to trap me!

“Abort it.” I found myself saying and Haru looked at me in shock as if she could not believe that I dared to utter those words to her. “We don’t even know if the child is mine or not.”

“J-Jinki… Y-You’re the only man I have ever been with.” Haru was stuttering. “I have never been with any other man except for you. And you know it too! This child is yours!"

“Even if the child is mine, I will never ever claim it as my own.” I told her. “Starting from today, you and I are nothing.  I hope we will never meet each other again. ”

And with that being said I stood up and left the restaurant, leaving Haru stunned and most importantly regret for ever cheating on me.

***

SHIN HARU

I managed to get out of the restaurant safely with Hyunki in my arms. But still I continued to run until I thought we were far away enough from Jinki. I saw a few benches at the side road and decided to rest for a while.

“Umma, why did you run? When can I eat my chicken?” Hyunki asked as he looked at me in concern.

“Mianhe baby. Umma will get chicken for you okay?” I told him and he smiled, satisfied

I sat down and rest for a moment as I allowed the memories from three years ago to replay in my mind once again.

“Mianhe Haru-yah. I really don’t know who to ask for help.” Dongwook said as he parked his car in front of the motel.

“Aniyo oppa. I understand your predicament. Your sister is really too much.” I said shaking my head. “How can she just trust a guy she just met online? And some more making plans to have a first date at a motel?”

“I-I’m really embarassed by all these. My sister has been a troublemaker since our father died.” Dongwook said with his head bowed low. “I would have asked Jinki for help but he has a schedule tonight.”

“It’s fine oppa. I am willing to help. Anyway, it is only Jinki and I who know of your family problems. And of course I would be the next best person to help you after Jinki of course.” I told him again and he squeezed my hand in gratitude.

Soon we found ourselves climbing up the steps to the third level of the motel. I watched as Dongwook tried to open the door with the key he had managed to take from the counter downstairs. And suddenly the door opened and I was shocked to see Dongwook’s younger sister, Nayoung, struggling with a man on the bed. She was almost and crying and shouting as she tried to let herself free from the man.

“I will hold him and you get Nayoung. Please protect her.” Dongwook said and I nodded.

I watched as Dongwook attacked the man from behind and punched him hard. The man however stood up and started to fight back and Dongwook tried his best to distract him by tackling him into a corner. Without wasting time, I ran towards Nayoung and helped her up. I managed to grab the blanket sheet and covered Nayoung with it. Her clothes were torn apart and there was no use in fixing them.

“Come Nayoung, you are safe with me.”

“Unnie!” Nayoung started crying again and she hugged me tight.

“Let’s get out of here first.” I told her.

Nayoung only nodded.

***

LEE JINKI

I could not believe it. I should have just let her leave and never bother about her existence ever again but my heart felt heavy and I could never deny the fact that I was curious about the little boy in her arms. Who was he? And why did he felt so familiar to me?

I hopped into my car and started to drive slowly down the road along the chicken restaurant. I looked around carefully just in case I might have missed her out.

After a few minutes of searching, finally I saw her and the boy seated at a bench near the side road. She looked so deep in thought while the boy was just looking up at her, patiently waiting.

As I continued to watch them from my car, I could not help as the feeling of guilt started to crawl in slowly towards the depths of my heart. I was confused to why I was feeling that way. I should not be feeling guilty. She was the one who hurt me previously. She should be the one feeling the guilt instead!

But remember, she did say she was pregnant on the day you broke up with her.

And so?

She might have been telling you the truth. Look at the child, he looks so much like you.

It couldn’t be. She cheated on me with another man.

Yes. But the one who informed you of Haru cheating on another man is Rayul, the jealous friend of Haru. Did you think for a moment that the girl might have lied to you?

No! I saw them both entering the motel. They cheated behind my back!

You never give Haru the chance to explain. Neither did you bother to hear Dongwook’s explanation.

I let out a growl and hit the steering wheel hard. I felt so angry with myself all of a sudden. My life story sounded so confusing and as I replayed my last encounter with Haru three years ago, I just realized that I might have made a decision based on one person’s perspective. I never bothered to investigate and just purely believe what had been told to me.

I shook my head, ridding of the old memories before reverting my gaze towards Haru and the boy again. The boy called her umma. It must be her son. The one she was pregnant with three years ago. The one she claimed that was mine.

I exited my car and walked calmly towards Haru and her son. She was still spacing out and did not realize my presence until the boy looked up at me.

“Oh! Onew Ahjussi!” The boy exclaimed as he left Haru’s side to run towards me. I could barely register what was going to happen when the boy suddenly jumped into my arms. Luckily I was able to catch him on time.

“Hey little man!” I greeted him and I was amazed when he let out a wide grin. “And how come you know that I am Onew? Are you a SHINee fan as well?”

Our conversation was cut short when suddenly I saw Haru was already standing in front of me, trying to pull her son out of my embrace.

“Give me back my son!” She cried, trying to push my hands away. “Let him go Jinki!”

“Let’s have a talk first.” I told her firmly, still holding on tightly to the boy.

“No! There’s nothing to talk about!” She glared at me.

“Then that leaves me with no choice.” I said and began to walk away with her son in my arms.

“Jinki!” She shouted as she followed right behind me. I got her where I wanted her.

“Then get in the car.” I opened the door to the passenger seat and gestured for her to go in.

“Why should I? We are long over Lee Jinki.” Haru exclaimed.

“Not when you have my son with you.” I found myself saying and that surprised me so much.

I watched as Haru laughed. It sounded so lifeless and full of sarcasm.

“He’s not your son. Even if he is, you have lost your right as a father the moment you told me to abort him.”

I stared at her shocked. Her words were sharp and I felt as if I was being slapped hard across the face. But I stood my ground. I knew she was lying. She had to be lying!

“Get in the car.” I said again and this time I brought her son with me towards the driver’s seat.

“Yah! Give me back my son you psycho!” Haru shouted and ran after me. But I managed to close the door and she had no choice but to head back towards the passenger side. However she did not enter the car but instead she held her arms towards her son who was now sitting quietly on my lap. “Hyunki, come to umma baby.”

“Ah, Hyunki-ah… Tell umma to get in ahjussi’s car because I want to bring you and umma for some ice cream!” I tried to sweet-talk to Hyunki who was just looking at Haru with a frown.

“But Hyunki don’t want ice cream. Hyunki wants chicken.” Hyunki said, his pout long and still he continued frowning.

“Ahrasso. Then ahjussi will take you and umma to eat some chicken. How about that?”

Hyunki turned his head to look at me. He gave a small nod and I smiled in relief.

“Umma, get in. Ahjussi will bring us for some chicken!” Hyunki exclaimed excitedly.

“Jinki! Look at what you did!”

“What? I just suggested the idea to him and he agreed.” I shrugged my shoulder. “Look, you can either come in and follow me together with Hyunki or you can just leave and I will bring Hyunki alone with me.”

“Urgh! Fine! I will follow. There is no way I am allowing Hyunki to be alone with you!”

And so I succeeded.

***

SHIN HARU

I entered the car and immediately pulled Hyunki to me, while still shooting a glare at Jinki.

“Sealtbelt.” Jinki said before drifting his car towards the main road.

I avoided looking at Jinki and just continued to stare at the road ahead. As much as I trust that Jinki would not do anything to us, I still could not let my guard down. He was after all the person who had managed to hurt me deeply even if it was three years ago.

“Jonghyun-ah, are you on your way home?”

I turned to see Jinki speaking into his bluetooth. And my hunch was that he was talking to Jonghyun-ssi, his SHINee member. We used to know each other in the past. We were not exactly friends but he was definitely aware that I was dating Jinki at that point of time. Likewise with the rest of the members, Kibum-ssi, Minho-ssi and Taemin-ssi.

“Neh. Can you get me my usual order?” He continued to speak. He took a glance at me and that cued me to look away. “Yeah, can you triple the order? Um, we have guests coming.”

I could not be bothered to eavesdrop on his conversation any longer. It was better for me to think of how I could get away from Jinki later without creating so much trouble.

A few minutes later, I realized that we were suddenly driving through a basement carpark. I shot a questioning look towards Jinki before looking down at Hyunki who was finally asleep in my lap.

“Where are you bringing us?” I asked as I adjusted Hyunki comfortably in my arms.

“It’s only been three years and you’ve forgotten this place already.” Jinki answered calmly. He parked his car and turned off the engine.

“It’s your dorm.” I told him as a matter of fact. “I want to go home.”

“I’ll send you home, but later. But now we need to talk.”

“It’s fine. We’ll talk but I will go home by myself.” I said before stepping out of the car. I noticed Jinki running out from the driver’s seat towards where I was.

“Let me hold him for you.” Jinki said as he held out his hand to take Hyunki from me but I shook my head rejecting his offer.

“Ani. I’ve been carrying him for the past three years, I’m fine with it.” I told him and immediately walked over towards the lift lobby. I could still remember this place very well. It was the place where Jinki and I always frequent as a couple.

We entered the lift together and I swore it was such an awkward moment for us.

***

LEE JINKI

I allowed Haru and Hyunki to enter the dorm first. I followed behind them and watched as Haru laid Hyunki down on the sofa, turning him slightly so that he would be more comfortable. Then she let down a big bag which I failed to notice earlier and brought out a small bolster and placed it in Hyunki’s embrace.

Haru sat down on the sofa beside Hyunki and his hair lightly, while wiping off the sweat that was slowly appearing on his forehead.

“Um Jinki, can you turn on the fan for a while? Hyunki will wake up if it’s too warm.” Haru said while looking expectantly towards me.

I nodded my head in response before turning on the power to the bladeless fan that was located at the corner of the living room. Immediately the living room felt cooler than it was previously and that made Haru smiled in relief. But her smile was only directed towards Hyunki. Annoyingly, I felt my heart clench tightly. That smile of hers, it used to belong to me…

Minutes passed. I had myself seated on the massage chair facing Haru who was still Hyunki’s hair. It was a quiet but nevertheless the tension in the dorm was very strong.

“Okay, let’s talk. What exactly you want from me Lee Jinki? Clearly you were disgusted to see me earlier in the restaurant.” Haru said as she shot me a defiant glare.

“Calm down Haru. We can discuss this nicely.” I told her, wanting her to relax instead of overworking herself.

“I am calm Jinki. I have been calm for so many years after you left. And guess what, I was actually thankful that you decided to leave me three years ago. It was the calmest I felt when you were gone from my life!”

“Okay fine. Tell me, did you really cheat on me with Dongwook three years ago?” I decided to ask the long overdued question.

Haru scoffed. “You have already declared that I cheated on Dongwook so why ask it again?”

I bit my lips before letting out a sigh. “Look Haru, I don’t want to fight. I just want to know the truth.”

“There will never be the truth. Because you will never believe the truth.” Haru said again and this time I saw tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “You know what Jinki, meeting you today is a big mistake. Maybe I should go already. We have nothing between us anymore.”

“W-Wait. I want to know about Hyunki. Is he…”

“No. He’s not. Happy now? So can I go now?”

“Stop lying. He’s mine isn’t he? He’s the one you were pregnant with three years ago right?”

“It was so long ago Jinki. I don’t remember anything about it anymore.”

“I said stop lying!” I shouted and this time Haru turned quiet but luckily Hyunki remained asleep. “He’s my son isn’t he? You can’t deny this Haru. There are a lot of similarities between me and him. The moment I saw him earlier, I just felt a connection with him. You can’t deny this Haru.”

“What good would it be even if I told you he was yours? It’s too late Jinki-yah. It’s been three years. And we are definitely better off without you.”

I felt the hope rising up in me. It was good that Haru was not denying anything. It meant that there was still a high percentage that Hyunki could be mine. I was positive that he belonged to me.

“So he’s mine? He’s my child right?”

“So what Jinki. Like what I said earlier, what good would it be even if you know he’s yours? We’ll still be going our separate ways after this.”

“No. Now that I know Hyunki is mine, there is no way that I will let him go after this.” I told Haru confidently.

“You can’t do that. He’s mine to keep. And remember you did say it before, you won’t claim the child even if he is yours.”

“That was before…” I tried to reason with her.

“It doesn’t matter Jinki. You don’t want him. You even suggested that I abort him. But I’m not like you.”

“I was young at that time. And I was angry when I found out about you and Dongwook.”

“Did you even give me a chance to explain about that night you saw me and Dongwook at the motel? Did you ever thought of listening to my side of the story? No Jinki, you were selfish enough to just put the blame on me and accuse me of the things I never do!”

“I’m sorry Haru. I didn’t think straight at that time. I was too blinded with jealousy.” I tried to explain.

“It’s fine Jinki. You don’t have to explain anything. It’s not affecting me in any way.”

“What exactly happened that night with Dongwook? Why were you at the motel?” I began to ask. My curiosity was beginning to eat me inside. Now that I thought of it, it was so unlike Haru to cheat on me. I was furious with myself for acting that way. Too blinded with jealousy and I chose to trust others instead of my own girlfriend. I was such an of a boyfriend.

“You can choose to believe me if you want.” Haru shrugged and began to tell me everything that had missed out on all these years. I was stunned at my seat as I tried to recall that night when Dongwook had called me to ask if I was free. But unfortunately I had a schedule to attend to that night and therefore I was not able to meet him.

“I-I didn’t know…”

“Rayul, how is she involved in this?” Haru asked, her face expressionless.

“I-I received a call from her that night. She was the one who told me that you planned on meeting Dongwook that night.”

“And you believe her over me? Thank you so much Jinki.” Haru scoffed. I knew she was being sarcastic and I could never blame her.

I made a rash decision three years ago and I knew I had to pay for it, somehow...

***

SHIN HARU

“I made a huge mistake. I admit it Haru-yah. If only I wasn’t acting like a total jerk…” Jinki started to say. He had his head bowed low and I could see that remorseful look on his face. But it was just three years too late…

“It’s all in the past Jinki-ah. We have all moved on. “I said and I saw Jinki raising his head slightly.

“How did you manage the past three years with Hyunki? I’m sorry that I wasn’t there…”

“It was hard initially but I managed.” I shrugged and reverted my eyes towards Hyunki. “He gave me the strength that I need. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I should actually thank you for giving this wonderful gift to me.”

From the corner of my eyes I saw Jinki walking closer to where I was sitting. Next thing I knew he was already kneeling down right before me.

“Haru-yah, I-I’m not sure how to put this across.” He said, his tone sounding scared and nervous. I somehow knew what was coming and shook my head. Clearly this was not what I expected from our talk.

“No Jinki, can you please not do this. You are making things even more awkward for me, for us.” I told him.

“No, please listen...” He was literally begging. “I know I am at fault for making the biggest mistake of my life. I said words that I didn’t mean and I acted rashly without giving a second thought to your feelings. All I need from you right now is a chance to redeem my past mistake. Even if you think I do not deserve it, but please think of Hyunki. You know deep in your heart he needs a father figure. He needs me…”

“He doesn’t need you. I am enough for him.” I shook my head stubbornly as I tried my best to hold back my tears.

“It’ll never be enough with you alone. Sooner or later he will start to ask about his father.” Jinki added and he surprised me by grasping onto my hands which were resting on my lap. “I am here to take back the words I said three years ago. And with a sincere heart, I want to claim Hyunki as my son. I am sorry that I had even suggested for you to abort him. But at this very moment, I am so glad that you decided to keep him. He’s an angel. And truthfully, the moment I laid my eyes on him at the restaurant earlier, I had already fallen so deep in love with him. Please Haru-yah, please don’t hide him away from me anymore. I need Hyunki now that I’ve known him. And I know he needs me too.”

And at that point of time we were suddenly interrupted by two familiar male figures who suddenly appeared just a few steps away from us.

“Err, did we come at the wrong time?” I saw Kibum raising a curious eyebrow towards Jinki.

“Holy ! Haru? Is that you?” Jonghyun exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Oh. My. God. It is her alright.” Kibum muttered.

“Umma, where are we?” And Hyunki chose that time to wake up as well.

***

LEE JINKI

I decided to ignore Jonghyun and Kibum’s presence at the moment as I focused my attention to Hyunki who was already clinging onto Haru. He had a thumb stuck into his mouth and he was eyeing me, Jonghyun and Kibum with a curious stare.

“Omo! A baby!” Kibum exclaimed as he too positioned himself next to me. He looked at Hyunki, then he looked at me and he looked at Hyunki again. “Tell me if I’m dreaming, but why the hell is this kid looking so much like you.”

“He’s my son. His name is Hyunki.” I said proudly.

“Bwoh?” Both Kibum and Jonghyun gasped in disbelief.

“Your son? But hyung, if the kid is your son, and he just called Haru ‘umma’ so that means…” I knew Jonghyun was smart enough to piece everything together. “Oh my God! Y-Y-You two…”

“You two had ?!” Kibum was shrieking and I caught Haru shooting a glare towards Kibum before standing up to carry Hyunki away from him.

“Yah! Mind your words! My son is only three!” I scolded him before obediently following Haru to the kitchen. She was shaking her head and reciting some unheard words to herself.

“Haru, are you okay?” I asked her as carefully as I could. “I’m sorry for what Kibum said earlier.”

“Kwenchana. What he said was true.” Haru said. “But it doesn’t matter already. It’s all in the past now.”

“Stop saying that it doesn’t matter. Everything does matter to me!” I stated, feeling slightly irritated all of a sudden.

“Onew ahjussi, are you angry with umma?” Hyunki suddenly asked as he raised his head up straight and looking alert. Haru on the other hand just gasped out loud. I believed she did not expect that Hyunki was able to recognize me as Onew from SHINee.

“Oh Hyunki-ah, have you seen me before?” I asked Hyunki who was still continuously looking at me. He gave me a shy smile before nodding.

“Neh. In umma’s handphone.” Hyunki answered as truthfully as he ever could and that answer from him just made me smile brightly as the sun. It seemed someone was missing me so much the past three years…

“I-It’s not what you think.” Haru uttered with a flushed expression. “It’s a just a picture of SHINee as a whole…”

“And we have SHINee songs at home too...” Hyunki added and this made Haru closed her eyes in defeat.

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way.” Haru started explaining. “It’s just that Hyunki calms down easily when I made him listen to your songs ever since he was a baby. I know it may sound a bit weird but that’s the truth.”

“Neh, neh, ahrasso. I understand.” I told her as I continued to suppress a grin. Haru on the other hand was trying very hard to avoid my eyes. Maybe there might be some chances for…

“Hyung, you told me to buy all these chicken, is it for Haru?” Jonghyun suddenly came to disrupt my short-lasting happiness.

I looked at Jonghyun for a moment before walking towards Haru and pulled Hyunki carefully into my arms. I felt some resistance from Haru at first, but she relented soon after. Hyunki looked quite happy to be carried by me as he continued to snuggle further into my embrace.

“It’s for Hyunki actually.” I said as I bounced Hyunki gently in my arms. “You want chicken right Hyunki-ah?”

“Chicken!” Hyunki was beaming brightly. He seemed to love chicken more than Haru at that moment and I could not help but to laugh at that.

“Neh Hyunki-ah. We have chicken, lots of it!” Kibum added as he too stepped into the kitchen.

“Umma, it’s SHINee.” Hyunki stated while pointing his small finger towards Kibum and Jonghyun. And I had to laugh again. He was making me fall for him even more! How could I even thought of getting rid of him before...

“Aigoo! So cute!” Kibum exclaimed before he moved forward to take Hyunki from me. “Come Hyunki-ah, let’s eat some chicken first. We will let umma and appa talk for a while.”

“No Kibum-ssi!” Haru started to shout in panic whereas Hyunki seemed to be slightly startled.

“Appa?” Hyunki frowned as he shifted his eyes to look at Haru before looking at me.

“He’s not ready to know!” Haru said again and this time I found myself glaring at her.

“What do you mean he’s not ready to know?” I asked, my voice a notch higher. Haru was cut silenced when she saw the hard expression on my face.

“Um, why not we go and eat the chicken first?” Jonghyun suggested before pushing Kibum out of the kitchen, leaving Haru and I alone to settle our disagreement.

“J-Jinki, you need to understand this, Hyunki is still too young to understand about this…” Haru tried to explain but I was not in the mood to hear more.

“It’s when he’s young that he should know that I am his father. What is wrong with you?” I gritted my teeth.

“Our situation is different!”

“I don’t care. I want Hyunki to know by tonight that he has a father and that is me!” I said with finality.

“Gosh! Jinki, you’re so annoying!” Haru growled lowly and turned her body away from me. She always did that whenever she knew she had lost in any argument with me. However that action from her softened my heart a little. It just reminded me so much of our past.

I walked closer to Haru and as much as I tried to refrain myself, I could not stop my hands from going around her petite body, back-hugging her. I felt her body stiffening and started to struggle a bit but I held onto her tightly, having the least intention of letting her go.

“J-Jinki… Don’t…”

“Ssh… Listen to me first.” I murmured, burying my face into her hair, inhaling that familiar sweet scent belonging to Haru. I felt my body trembling at the contact. Indeed, my body, my heart, my soul had been missing her presence so much…

“I-I don’t want to be hurt again…” Haru was already sobbing uncontrollably. Her body went limp and all I could do was continue holding her tight.

“Please Haru-yah, I’ve been such a jerk to you. I want to make amends. Seeing you and Hyunki today is such an eye opener for me. I never realized all the amazing things that I missed in regards to Hyunki, and most importantly, you.” I said softly. I released Haru from my hold before turning her body to face me. I cupped her face with trembling hands, forcing her to look at me. My heart softened upon looking at her teary eyes before slowly allowing my thumbs to wipe the wetness away.

“I missed three big years of Hyunki’s life and I missed three meaningful years with you. You suffered so much because of my stupidity. And I believe that I am fated to meet you again today to redeem all my past mistakes.” I continued to speak as I leaned my forehead gently against hers. “I know it will not be easy for you to accept my presence in your life again and I know it will be hard for you to forget all those things that I did before, but I really need this chance from you. Because I know after this I want you and Hyunki to fully depend on me. I want to be responsible for you and Hyunki starting from tonight.”

“It won’t be easy Jinki-yah…” Haru sobbed as she shook her head lifelessly.

“I know, I know. It will never be easy but I want to try. I want you to give us a try. For you, for Hyunki, for me, for us.”

“I-I need to think about it first. I-I can’t make any decisions now.” Haru stuttered.

“I know and I am willing to give you time to think about it. But I just want you to know that I really want you and Hyunki to be a part of my life.”

“I-I understand…” Haru nodded and at the same time she was gazing directly into my eyes. I swore my heart just stopped beating. Her gaze was still the same as three years ago…

And Before I knew it, I was already leaning forward and soon enough I had my lips pressed gently against Haru’s warm ones. My heart was blasting with fireworks and I trembled slightly when I felt Haru’s lips moving shyly against mine.

The kiss was just like how I remembered. It tasted so much like home. The home I missed so much…

But the kiss was cut short when Haru suddenly pulled back, her warm hands pushing against my chest. She was staring back at me, her expression confused.

“T-This is not it.” Haru uttered while shaking her head lightly.

I fisted my hands tightly at my sides. And the next thing I knew I had drawn Haru in into my embrace. I was hugging her tight, not wanting to let her go at any moment. She was all that I wanted right now.

“Oi Hyung, who’s the kid… Omo! Mian! I didn’t know!”

Both Haru and I turned to look at the person who just intruded our personal moment.

***

SHIN HARU

I could not help myself as I leaned in further into Jinki’s warm embrace. His scent was still the same as I had remembered and this time round I knew I could not push him away even if I wanted to, that is until I heard a voice…

“Oi Hyung, who’s the kid… Omo! Mian! I didn’t know!”

I snapped my head to the side and saw Taemin staring at both me and Jinki. He had a chicken bone hanging from his mouth and he looked clearly surprised at the sight before him.

“Yah! I already told you not to enter the kitchen!” Jonghyun suddenly barged in as he made a grab for Taemin’s neck and forcefully pulling him out of the kitchen. Then he turned to look at us before letting out an apologetic grin. “Sorry, this kid doesn’t understand simple Korean. No worries, please continue with what you are doing…”

And that was when I realized the state Jinki and I was in. I pulled myself away from the hug while clearly trying to fight away the shyness that was quickly enveloping. Jinki on the other hand was rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He had his eyes fixed on me and I knew he would not let our matter rest yet.

“Um, the both of you might want to join us for some chicken?” Jonghyun asked unsurely while pointing his fingers towards the living room area.  

“Yeah sure. We’ll be there shortly.” Jinki answered on our behalf and Jonghyun nodded and left.

“Come and have dinner first. I will send you home later.” Jinki said as he let out a hand towards me.

I looked at Jinki straight into the eyes before reverting my gaze back to his awaiting hand.

“A-Ahrasso.” I nodded before gently placing my hand into his.

“Thank you.” Jinki smiled wide as he pulled me closer to him before leaning down to kiss the crown of my head. “Kaja!”

I followed Jinki to the living room until we were both seated down on the floor in front of a table filled with food. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks the moment I met eyes with four men who were seated just opposite of us. And of course, the four men consisted of Jonghyun, Kibum and with the addition of Minho and Taemin, who might have arrived when Jinki and I were busy talking in the kitchen.

“Umma!”

I could barely register where Hyunki’s voice came from until I felt the strong force of his little body thrown against my chest. This time the impact of his body throw was stronger and this caused difficulty for me breathe.

“Hyunki-ah!” Jinki exclaimed and soon enough I felt Hyunki being pulled away from me. I watched as Jinki placed Hyunki on his lap.

“Hyunki-ah, you cannot just throw your body at umma like that understand? What if umma was holding a hot drink or something? It can hurt both you and umma you know.” Jinki told Hyunki as he back-hugged my son lovingly. He was not scolding him, but instead he was talking to Hyunki like a friend.

“But I missed umma. She talked so long and I was alone.” Hyunki pouted as he turned his head to look at Jinki.

“But you are not alone. You had the SHINee uncles with you.” Jinki pointed a finger towards Jonghyun, Kibum, Minho and Taemin.  

“They were fun but…” Hyunki shrugged lightly. “But they’re not you. You are more fun.”

“Of course he’d pick the father.” Kibum muttered with a grin and Jonghyun and Minho nodded their heads in agreement.

“Omo! So it’s true that you are Hyunki’s father hyung?” Taemin asked, his eyes widened in shock.

“Yah! Weren’t you listening to what I had said earlier?” Jonghyun shook his head in disbelief at the maknae.

“Well, you just said that Hyunki is hyung’s son but you didn’t say that hyung is Hyunki’s father.” Taemin shrugged.

“Can I kill him now?” Jonghyun asked Kibum, his tone frustrated.

“See, they were fighting like that and it was no fun.” Hyunki said in a slightly low tone that only Jinki and I could hear.

Jinki turned to look at me and grinned widely. “He thinks just like me. No doubt he is my son!”

“But he still doesn’t know that you are his father yet.” I told him.

“Don’t worry. We will let him know slowly. I won’t push everything out tonight” Jinki smiled, his hand grasping mine tightly under the table.

***

LEE JINKI

After dinner and after doing some major explanation about Haru’s and my situation to the members, I decided to take Haru and Hyunki home. It was almost eleven in the evening when we finally reached Haru’s apartment.  

I stepped into the small apartment with Hyunki’s sleeping body in my arms. Haru was busy turning on all the lights before ushering me straight into her bedroom. She gestured for me to place Hyunki on the bed before she took her place beside our son to change him into his pajamas. I watched quietly how Haru would be so gentle in changing him without waking him up. I realized she was indeed a great and perfect mother for Hyunki. She was definitely the best…

“Um, do you want to kiss him goodnight first before leaving?” Haru asked as she adjusted Hyunki to lay down properly.

“Oh, yeah.” I muttered before leaning forward to kiss Hyunki’s forehead. “Goodnight little man. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

Soon I was already following Haru to the living room and that was when I managed to look around at the apartment that she was living in. It was a small living area just fit enough for the two of them. But nonetheless I felt bad and guilty to know that Haru and my son had been living this simple life for the past three years when I could provide so much more for them. With the money I had been earning and saving since I started becoming an idol twelve years ago, I could easily buy a proper family house for us, where there was ample space for Hyunki to move around, perhaps with a huge playroom for Hyunki to keep his toys…

“Do you want some tea?”

Haru’s voice made me come back to reality. I looked at her tired face. She had a smile but it did not really reach her ears. She must have suffered a lot. How could I even abandon her before?

“I’m really sorry Haru-yah…” I said and soon I found myself hugging that precious woman tightly once again. I knew I was crying and I really could not help myself. I truly regretted all the things that I had ever said and done to her.

“Jinki? A-Are you okay?” Haru asked as she rubbed my back soothingly.

I pulled myself back, holding Haru gently by her shoulders. “Will you promise to still be here tomorrow? Will you promise to never run away from me? Will you promise to give me another chance?”

“J-Jinki, I thought we already discussed this…”

“I know! But I need your word for it. Do you promise?”

“I promise Jinki. I promise to give you another chance. And I promise you that we will still be here waiting for you in the morning.”

“I can’t lose you again. I-I love you Haru. It has always been you.” I told her as I continued to sob into her embrace.

***

I woke up with a start and realized that I had been sleeping on an unfamiliar couch. I sat up and looked around the area and that was when I recalled all the things that happened earlier and I gasped.

“H-Hyunki? Haru?” I choked out as I stood up and ran towards the bedroom where I remembered placing Hyunki in last night. To my relief, I saw Haru and Hyunki sleeping peacefully on the bed. I let out a sigh before entering the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

“Jinki?” Haru whispered suddenly and it made me halt my movement.

“S-Sorry. Did I wake you up?” I asked guiltily.

“It’s five a.m. in the morning.” Haru said again as she let out another yawn.

“I know, it’s just that I woke up and panicked not seeing you and Hyunki…” I trailed off not knowing how to explain it further.

“Come.” Haru muttered as she pulled the blanket slightly before patting the space on the bed beside Hyunki.

“B-But…”

“Just come. I know that you’re still sleepy.” Haru pointed out.

I nodded my head and allowed myself to slip in on the bed on Hyunki’s right side. I turn my body to face Hyunki who was sleeping in the middle before reverting my eyes towards Haru who still had her gaze directed at me.

“You’re so beautiful, just like before.” I whispered, my hand caressing Haru’s cheek lovingly.

“I hope you’re not lying.” Haru whispered back, her hand rested on top of mine.

“I’m not.” I said. “I love you Haru… I still love you…”

I closed my eyes allowing my sleepiness to surround my being again.

“I love you too Jinki. It has always been you.”

I felt myself smiling and I knew her words were true. It always had been.

***

FIVE YEARS LATER

SHIN HARU

I moved around the kitchen in a hurry as I tried my best to put the finishing touches on all the dishes which I had cooked since morning. After checking that every single dish was going to be fine, I decided that it was time for me to get myself ready before the guests arrived.

I ran up the stairs and walked on straight to the master’s bedroom when I heard giggling and hushed noises coming from the bathroom located at the end of the hallway. I found myself walking hurriedly towards the bathroom and pushed the door open. The sight that greeted me made me groan in annoyance. My eyes immediately found Jinki’s.

“Jagiya, I can explain…” Jinki looked at me in panic as he suddenly gathered my two daughters, who were still busy splashing bubbles around the bathroom, into his arms.

“Are you trying to tell me that you have been bathing them since morning? Jinki, it’s one in the afternoon! Our guests will be arriving any moment!”

“Umma! Yook! Bubblesh!” Jinah, my fifteen months old daughter exclaimed as she waved her arms wildly.

“See umma, appa is more fun than you. He lets us play for a long long time.” My three years old daughter, Hyolin, grinned.

“Yes, and I will be very angry with appa for a long long time too.” I added while narrowing my eyes at the man I called my husband. “You better get them dressed up now.”

“Neh Jagiyah.” Jinki nodded and he quickly scrambled out of the bathroom with both Jinah and Hyolin.

I turned to look at the messy bathroom and shook my head. Cleaning will be in progress.

***

LEE JINKI

I had finally gotten my daughters dressed up prettily and they were now watching a princess movie in the living room. I was now walking towards my son’s bedroom to check if he had managed to dress himself up properly.

“Hey little man!” I exclaimed as I entered Hyunki’s room. I noticed that he was standing in front of the mirror, trying to comb his hair.

“Appa, can you help me with my hair?” Hyunki asked as he turned his body around to look at me.

“Okay, what kind of style are you thinking of?” I asked in return before taking the comb from his hand.

“Um, what about that?” Hyunki said while pointing to a certain SHINee poster on his wall causing me to gasp out in horror.

“You want Key’s hairstyle from Lucifer era? Andwae!” I shouted in panicked but Hyunki just chuckled happily in return.

“Not Uncle Key’s hairstyle appa. But Uncle Minho’s hairstyle. I bet Sooyoung will think I look cool that way.” Hyunki said, determined.

“But why Minho? Appa’s hairstyle in Dream Girl era looks way cooler!’ I told him while pointing to the SHINee Dream Girl poster at another corner of his room.

“What’s so cool about that? It looks the same as it is now.” Hyunki frowned as he continued to stare at my hair.

“Ahrasso, ahrasso. I’ll try my best to make your hair similar just like your Uncle Minho’s hairstyle.” I rolled my eyes and started to style up my son’s hair.

***

SHIN HARU

No matter from which angle you looked at him, you could easily tell that he is Lee Jinki’s son. Even if he donned on a Choi Minho hairstyle, you could still see Lee Jinki in him. Lee Hyunki is an exact replica of Jinki.

“Umma when is Sooyoung coming?” Hyunki asked me the moment he finally managed to get away from his SHINee uncles.

“I’m not sure baby. Maybe she’s on the way.” I told him with a smile.

“Umma, I’m not a baby already.” Hyunki rolled his eyes and I just had to laugh at that.

“You shouldn’t be rolling your eyes at your mother young man.” Jinki suddenly said as he made an appearance beside us. “You’re our first baby, remember that.”

“Neh appa. I will remember that.” Hyunki sighed in defeat.

“Yah, cheer up. Sooyoung’s here.” Jinki nudged our son lightly at his side which made him grin widely at us.

“I’m going to greet her.” Hyunki told us and we just chuckled at that.

“He’s growing up too fast.” I shook my head, clearly upset with Hyunki’s growth.

“He needs to grow up sooner or later. You should be proud that he grows up well.” Jinki said before kissing my forehead lightly.

“I know. But it’s just so difficult to face reality.” I pouted.

“Enough of that. Come, let’s greet Sooyoung’s parents.” Jinki smiled and I nodded.

***

LEE JINKI

“Dongwook, I’m glad you could come!” I greeted my best friend with a hug.

“Thanks Jinki, for inviting us. Sooyoung has been looking forward to meet Hyunki since forever!” Dongwook exclaimed.

“I know right. Hyunki’s been acting the same.” I said and the both of us laughed.

“It’s really amazing how the two of them could get along so well.” Haru added.

“Who knows, something might just happen between them both.” Eunyoung, Dongwook’s wife, grinned and this time the four of us laughed.

“Please Dongwook oppa, Eunyoung-ssi, help yourself to the food.” Haru informed the couple and gestured them towards the refreshment area.

“I’m glad you agreed to meet Dongwook oppa again.” Haru said as she grasped my hand lightly.

I nodded with a relieved sigh. “Neh. I am glad too. And I am lucky that he accepted my apology.”

“Yes, you’re a lucky man indeed.” Haru chuckled and I could not help but to laugh along with her.

“Of course, I’m lucky to have you and our children with me.” I said with a wide smile before kissing her temple. “You are the best thing that has ever happen to me. I truly love you.”

“I love you too yeobo.” Haru grinned. “Always will.”