The voice is steady, unafraid. It whispers in a shallow tone, just loud enough for Yuuri to hear. He knows this voice all too well. For years, it’s been playing in his head over and over again like a broken record. Is it taunting or friendly? Yuuri can’t decide. All he knows is that this is the voice of Depression.

“Whether you’re happy or sad, I will always be there for you,” Depression whispers gently.

With every word, it feels like the walls are closing in on him, with nowhere to escape. Yuuri tosses and turns in bed, grabbing his pillow, and burying his face in it. The fabric is moist and it clings to his face as his mind betrays him and tears escape from the corners of his eyes.

Depression rears its ugly head once again and it’s bouncing around inside his skull, eliciting a most painful headache. Yuuri knows the walls he’s tried so hard to put up in his mind, are slowly crumbling to the ground. Depression chops off a little piece of it every day, and it won’t be long now. It won’t be long until the wall is gone, and Depression can waltz its way in, taking out everything in its way until nothing is left but Depression itself. It’s like he can feel the cracks in his mind forming, and it won’t be long before all his happy memories will seep out through them. Family, friends, Vicchan, his career. When will it all be gone? When will darkness be the only thing left in his mind? When will it finally define who he is?

Whenever Yuuri puts on his skates and glides effortlessly over the ice, he knows he’s being watched. He knows he can’t escape. Sometimes it feels like he skating through glue, as no matter how hard he tries, his body won’t listen and instead it shifts its focus and attention to Depression, like it’s putting on a circus show. He knows the voice is like that of a siren, seductive and persuasive.

“Oh, how possessive I am,” Depression says, “but you see, I am the only one who cares for you. Haven’t I always been there for you?”

‘That’s not true,’ a voice responds. Yuuri frowns as the voice sound unfamiliar and foreign, but at the same time safe and warm.

A cold gust of wind dances across Yuuri’s exposed back and he shudders at the sudden change in temperature. He looks out through the open window and notices that it’s started snowing. Winter has always been his favorite time of the year. He feels at home in the white and icy world outside his window.

‘Let’s dance. Here, take my hand,’ the unfamiliar voice whispers in a comforting tone. Yuuri closes his eyes, and a beautiful scenery plays out in the vast darkness. Two orbs of light circling around each other, in a serene and beautiful manner. The darkness surrounding them slowly lifts and Yuuri shifts a little in his bed, trying hard to focus on the orbs of light dancing in his mind. He can make out a color, like a gem of sorts. Sapphire? No, it’s more beautiful than that.

‘Look at me,’ the voice says, and Yuuri’s breath hitches within his throat when he sees Victor’s eyes gazing deeply into his. They’re gliding across the ice, hand in hand. A bolt of lightning shoots through his entire body, from head to toe when Victor leans closer and whispers, ‘beautiful.’

The voice is no longer unfamiliar. The voice is steady, unafraid. It whispers in a loving tone, just loud enough for Yuuri to hear. He knows this voice all too well. This is the voice of Victor. It doesn’t illicit fear, nor does it cast a shadow over him. It does the exact opposite.

All his memories of Victor come rushing back to him as they force their way back through the cracks in his mind, embedding themselves deep within his thoughts.
When Depression met Victor, a fierce battle erupted between the two of them and for a long time, Yuuri didn’t know who would persevere, but now, now he knows. 

“Yuuri?” He jolts awake and blinks a couple of time out of confusion. ‘A dream?’ Of course. Depression has left long ago, and there is nothing left to show it had ever resided within his mind.

He feels Victor getting into bed with him and wrapping his arms around his waist. His chest is pressed firmly against Yuuri’s back, and he swears he can feel Victor’s heart beating.

“This isn’t my room.”

“No, it’s mine. You’re in Russia, remember? Just how jet-lagged are you?” Victor says with a laugh and it’s music to Yuuri’s ears. It sounds like the most beautiful composition ever created, and he’s knows if he could only listen to one song for the rest of his life, it would be Victor’s laugh.

“You’re quite warm. Are you getting sick?”

“No, just had a bad dream.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t worry, it had a happy ending.”

Yuuri turns around in Victor’s arms and is met by the most beautiful blue eyes. He traces the older man’s features with the tips of his fingers, from his jawline to his collarbones, never breaking eye contact. For so long, he had felt like he was drowning, like there was never enough air within him to function. The very first time Victor kissed him, he felt his lungs filling up with air, like he was breathing for the first time. It felt like he had finally been pulled out from the dark depths of the ocean and brought to the surface.

Victor pulls him closer and Yuuri places his head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. He knows this heart is beating for him, and there is no voice in the back of his head telling him he’s not worthy of it. The only voice he hears whenever he’s scared, uncertain, happy or sad, is that of Victor.

‘I believe in you.’

‘You can do this.’

‘You deserve this.’

‘You are worthy.’

‘I love you.’

“Yuuri? Are you crying?” the older man asks worryingly, cupping Yuuri’s face in his hands, but behind the tears lie a smile.

“I’m happy.”

Victor can’t resist the temptation and leans in for a kiss. This is where they both belong, in each other’s arms. They fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces that can never be torn apart. 
As Victor deepens the kiss, Yuuri suddenly remembers a conversation they had not too long ago. Something Victor said sticks with him and he will always remember it.

“We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk. two eyes to see. two ears to listen, but do you know why we were only given one heart?”

“No?”

“Because the other one was given to someone else, for us to find.”

Yuuri knows this makes perfect sense, because once he met Victor, he finally felt complete. He has finally found his other heart, and this one is filled with nothing but light and happiness.