Yang Soo Ki 

 

“Hyun Hyun look! Over there! she's coming.”

 

“Who?”

 

“The waifu.”

 

“Where? Where? Oooh...Damn!”

 

“Yeah, man.”

 

I sped up and left the parking lot with Its loud and thirsty students behind my back. Once inside the building, I stopped and counted to ten. “Remember Soo Ki, it's not worth it. Not worthy at all.” I reminded myself before taking a deep breath and walking down the corridor that led to my boyfriend's classroom. There weren't as many wondering students thank god, but still, the whispers were the same.

 

“There she is.”

 

“Who? Ooh... Man, she's so damn hot in person.”

 

“I've got more secret shots of her if you want.”

 

“ please this is ten times better than your pictures. Look how huge her are?!”

 

“I know good pillows. Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce!”

 

“Bang Bang Bang Bang.” They laughed in sync.

 

The classroom was right behind the corner, I only had to pass by two more skinny looking girls. That also didn't look welcoming at all. Have to deal with girls was the worst of all. The people that knew me already were aware of my thug side, while outsiders only had just a taste, a certain vibe or aura they felt when I walked down the halfway of the university's building. I could see it on their faces. They only talked bad about me, behind my back. Just like with these girls.

 

"Fakes ."

 

"You can see from a mile that all she got is fake. Fake , fake nose, fake lips, fake s, fake doll body. All fake."

 

"And fake relationship."

 

"You got that one right. There's no way the most successful and intelligent guy in the country is really dating that ."

 

"No way." Her mate agreed.

 

I arrived in front of the door just before I could hear any more bull. "Remember Soo Ki, you cannot stab them. It's against the law and ..not worth at all." I unconditionally whispered with my forehead pressed against the wooden door. I washed away the unwanted encounter from my mind, took a deep breath and entered the classroom. Of course, some checked who just came in just 10 minutes before the ending of the lesson, but once they saw it was just me, they were back to taking notes.

I sat in the first chair next to the door, lay my purse at my right on the floor, grabbed my manga and resumed my reading.

 

"No homework for tomorrow. Only review." The professor said. "Professor Jieun will replace me tomorrow for that. Feel free to study at home if you prefer."

 

"What about the day after tomorrow? Are you going to show us the experiment?" A familiar and annoying student, three rows in front of me asked lifting up his pen. "I mean, we have the exam in four days you know.." He trailed off.

 

The professor had an exasperated tone while replying and tapping on his laptop the key points to review. Perfectly projected behind him on the large digital blackboard. "I have already shown you the experiment once and I have also uploaded the video on the university website for all to review. Whenever and wherever you want." The prof replied without even giving attention to the guy. "It's not my fault if you have a short and lazy memory." He added savage.

 

The arm went down as soon as he realizes his error. "There's already a video of the experiment?" He asked shocked to his classmate next to him.

 

"Dude the video was upright when he finished. Where were you?"

 

"I don't know. I don't remember..Do you?" He exclaimed lost.

 

"What?!"

 

I couldn't help but chuckle. They both turned back and our eyes met. I waved at them. The friend of amnesia boy waved back, while this later asked instead if I could help him with the experiment. "No way. That would be cheating." I replied.

 

"Please noona. Just one time." He pleaded. "I'll buy you lunch." I shook my head again. "Please."

 

"Ask Hyuna," I whispered back instead. He glanced at the cited girl one row down, became a little red and glanced back at me.

 

"I don't know."

 

"Are you 12? Don't be shy. Ask her." I insisted with an encouraging smile. "She doesn't bite."

 

He glanced at her and then at me and at her again. He sighed frustrated. "." His classmate gave him a pat on the shoulder with a pity expression on his face. You can all imagine how his approach to the popular girl of the course went. Bad. Super Bad.

 

He glared at me as if it was my fault. "Maybe next time." I mumbled to him. He snorted in response. I chuckled again but this time another person in the room did the same. The thing is that he had a microphone right in front of him and the classroom was more of an auditorium so pretty much everyone heard him. He tried to mask it with a series of cough but it didn't work as he hoped. Stupid.

 

"Review as much as you can because I won't tolerate any laziness nor missing small detail." He declared acting strictly. "This is not your regular course, this is the only free ticket to a position in Elon Musk team or even better my team. Consider this as the Hunger Games. You fail you're out." He said without a shred of humor he had before, but he was right. He had 5 more classes in the most prestigious university in the country, it was unthinkable for him to help them as well with their failed test/exams. Not because he was arrogant or anything but because he already had his private work and the Gov. Job from Tokyo. Everybody knew that but still.

 

"But..we can still recover with prof Jieun right?" Came back to question amnesia boy. "And..then attend your course again right?" He mumbles unsure.

 

The prof sighed. "If you can manage..sure. But the amount of work and reviews to recover to come back would be enormous."

 

"It doesn't matter as long as I can attend the course again." It wasn't a question.

 

"Just don't procrastinate stuff and you won't have to deal with any of this."

 

"Yeah.." it was a very sad yeah.

 

"Now, does anyone else have any more questions?" He asked referring to the whole class.

 

A girl with long straight black hair raised her hand. She was in the second row in front of the professor's desk. "Who are we competing with this time?" She asked spreading competitiveness everywhere.

 

"Ehm..BNU (Busan national university)"

 

There was a general wave of giggles. Like it would have been a piece of cake. Too bad they forgot that the teacher's mom was from that university and she was the one that taught him everything. Only a couple of people didn't make fun of the students. Me and amnesia Boy included. The prof didn't say a thing, nor had any reaction. He just packed his things and greeted everybody. Ready to go.

 

I packed my things as well and waited. The course was only 2 weeks into his 6-month term, the seats weren't permanent. And that meant that whoever failed more than two times any of the exams, was out. But out, with no possibility of recovering anything. All you could do was wait to attend the following year, but there would be no position left for his or Elon musk team. So this was a one-time life chance for them. I hoped they were smarter than what they showed. Especially at a time like this; but I guess some will learn only by watching others get cut out.

 

"Noona!" Someone called out. I left the trance and glanced towards the voice. It was an amnesia boy. Of course. I mean Junho. 20 years old, not the classic nerd cause just like his nickname, he tended to forget stuff, panic yet gets the highest grade in the entire class. So many were wary of him and called him names behind his back. Like it was all an act and that it was more sly than what he pretended to be. That was the rumor.

 

"Yes?" I answered back.

 

"Please please PLEASE! Let's review together!" He pleaded with a babyface. I replied the same way.

 

"No."

 

"WHY??" He cried louder. "How can that'd be cheating if he doesn't tell you anything either? It's perfectly fine for me to review with the teacher's girlfriend as long as the said teacher isn't around. Is not against the law." Yeah, it was right. Stabbing skinny girls was tho..unfortunately.

 

The teacher's girlfriend. I couldn't help a smile. "Look I'm not doing well either, so-"

 

"Oh please. You took excellent in the last exam.”

 

"In practice! I had a stinky 5, in theory, you dumbo!" I exclaimed, shoving the paper onto his face.

 

"But that's where we can help each other!” He replied exasperated. “Listen, I’m good in theory, you’re bad in theory. I’m bad in practice, you’re good at it. Do you see where I’m going with this? We can aide each other with the subject we’re lacking in." He insisted on making it sound like it would have been a piece of cake. "And I swear there's no secret intent behind my request. I'm a book. Easy to read with one look, as my mom says." Typical mamma boy.

 

"But-"

 

"Please!"

 

"But-”

 

“Please!”

 

“Stop it!” I warned him.

 

“Pleeease!” He stubbornly insisted. So I had no choice but to literally shut his mouth with my hand.

 

With his mouth shut like a quack, I could finally tell him, to off. Nah I'm kidding. “I won't be coming back to the courses anymore starting next week. I'm falling too behind to keep going.” I, unfortunately, had to announce. His eyes grew big and he stared at me a couple of seconds before pulling off my hand from his mouth.

 

“For real?” He questioned first looking at me then at the professor. We both nodded. “But..you are the most experienced and knowledgeable insider of materials of this course. No one in this class can surpass you in that. How are we going to improve and learn fast without you?” the stuttering, clumsy boy had left the chat. Now the engineer in him was talking.

 

Everything he said was somehow true but jin woo had found the perfect substitute. The problem wasn't the course itself. I had also failed the special exam to enter the team and I had enough of failure in a zone where there were so many fresh young minds. And to be honest this wasn't my dream job, not the passion I was seeking. Not the type of adrenaline that a hyped cheering crowd could give. Not really a nerdy type of dream eh.

 

“Eeeh don't exaggerate now,” I commented waving my hands. “I'm sure there is one that can substitute me in no time.” 

 

Skeptic he asked. “ Who? When? Where?”

 

I just smiled a big smile. Full of secrets and that was enough to get him to flood me with dozens of questions before giving up and try his chance with jin woo. The guy wasn't enthusiast at the idea and spilled the beans in a sec. “Right over there.” He just pointed out to a fragile girl with a flowered headband and casual clothes, in the second row packing her stuff. Lots of stuff. A bit of a loner with long wavy brown hair, she had shown incredible results and a superb knowledge through the previous exams, though not many people in the course paid attention to her, she had a reputation of being the quiet genius of the course, yet still, a loner because she liked to be left alone and kind of a clean freak even though she didn't look like one. Anyway, her name was chae young and she was only 18. So yes..I'm sure they wouldn't have any problem with my absence.

 

“What? Her?” The competitive girl followed by Hyuna commented nastily. 

 

How in the world is she still here? I couldn’t believe my ears. Am I in Mean Girls without having to notice it? I looked at Jinwoo, he stared back and just sighed. Deal with nasty jealous chicks was even harder for him because it had a reputation to protect, so he just had to passive-aggressively answer back to the girl. I don’t remember her name so I just kept calling her nasty girl in my head.

 

“Yes, Minkyoung-ha. Chae-Young displayed exceptional skills and terrific results in the same area as my Yang soo ki.” He tirelessly explained. “That’s why I trust in her to be able to help out whoever..” He glanced at Juno, who pettily looked away. “Needs help.”

 

The nasty girl didn’t like the answer one bit yet still acted all fake and pretend to be super impressed by chae young. She tried her charming act with the latter but was only met by a predictable anti-social and flat “Thanks, but I have to go now.” Classical “In your dreams .” I forcibly suppress a giggle. “Maybe tomorrow.” Chae young added bowing fast, closing her backpack and heading for the exit. 

 

“Yes, maybe.” Agreed Nasty girl with a fake smile. Her freaking mouth was so big I had to turn away from her and rest my head on Jinwoo's chest.

 

"Come on." He whispered in my head. "I thought you were a better actress." Chuckling silently. 

 

"Hush." I whispered back. "Give a sec. This one is too hard to deal with." I took a deep breath of his body scent and gave Nasty girl one more chance. Too bad she was already gone. Sad. "Oh, maybe next time." I commented with a Cali accent.

 

"Yeah, girl." My 19 years old genius boyfriend gestured adding in the same accent. That's why I loved him.

 

"If you two are finished, I would like to go back to the initial topic.." and Junho had to ruin with his whining attitude.

 

I sighed. "And what was it again?" I ask sarcastically.

 

"I think it was, how will poor and lazy Junho pass the exam without anyone holding his hand." A new voice joined after. We all turned around to find Chae Young standing next to Jinwoo's manager. 

 

"Haha." Junho replied rolling his eyes. "How about you think about yourself?"

 

"I do. That's why I don't need anyone to hold my hand at every exam."

 

"It's called teamwork girl."

 

"It's called being a chicken, boy." They bickered like brother and sister and we stood there watching entertained.

 

“I’m not a chicken.”

 

“Yes, you are.” She replied rapidly. “And before you repeat yourself, Let me explain, that unlike you chicken born without a pair, Yang Soo Ki recognizes her limits, lack will power and passion for this course and so she leaves it before it affects their relationship.” As expected from the quickest mind in the course, she hit right in the nail. “She knows what she loves and what she doesn’t; although I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s chasing after the wrong goals..” Her gaze lingered for a bit on me with a -rebuke expression typical of a mother- and then back at his throat. “..I’m 100% percent sure this was a turning point for her and that she stop overthinking, listen to the hundreds of suggestions she received and just go for it.”

 

By wrongs goals she meant, my unpopular and obstinate dream of becoming an idol under a big company and instead go the solo route as songwriter/musician like everybody around me, jin woo included, suggested from day one. Despite what each person in my life thought of the so-called overrated dream of mine, I’ve always wanted to debut in show business as an idol of a girl group, bubbly and cheerful, whereas there was no sadness nor commitment to men that would have led me to have mental hardships.  

I just had to practice hard, make friends and make lots of fans all while showing off my songwriting skills as well. I just wanted everyone to acknowledge that I could become two things at the time, but whenever I told someone about my goal, they always, told me about the cons and lowkey suggested that the people wanting to become idols were just bums looking for a free ride. In Korean society beauty was the key factor, at times it was even the most important aspect in the choosing process of entertaining the company. And to be honest at the age of 16 all I wanted was to escape from the crisis happening in my family, from bullying at school, from the betrayal of my best friend and even from jin woo egotistical attitude towards the whole situation. I just wished to leave them all behind and go for this silly dream, where I had to think only about working and share my life with worthy people. Yes, I was very angsty at the time, but also full of sunshine and butterflies. Always cheerful and positive towards life, I would have never imagined my best friend to dumb me for clout, my lover to put his needs before everything and mostly my dad to do what he did, to mom, to me, to our entire family. And so all these events led me to even more impossible dreams of escape, not only escape but also hide in a pink glass castle where no one and nothing could have affected my happiness.

 

As I grew older though it was evident that I couldn’t avoid or escape from problems forever, so little by little I gave in and forcefully accepted that everyone could make mistakes, no matter how many times they swear to your face the opposite. Jinwoo has been quite easy because he recognized his error three days later and tried his best to win me over again. It worked, not because I missed him like hell but because I needed him to understand me and the situation I was in and he did. Later we moved in and have been living together since then. 

Putting aside the resentment for what she did, I’ve also forgiven my best friend, with jin woo by my side I was strong enough to let go of this hatred and give her a second chance. Karma had been real brutal with her so not only I welcomed her into our house but gave, her child, the family that he didn’t know it needed until he was old enough to understand what was right and what was wrong. Jinwoo not only provided a house for them but also played for the nursery school and elementary school. The consequences of getting pregnant with her classmate at 16 just to escape from her ually abusive father would have seemed excessive from the outside but you never know how it feels until it happens to you, so without judging I helped her and mend our friendship back together. It was so nice to have her back in my life that it almost made me forget the last of my problems. 

My dad. 

Years after years I told myself to let go and forgive, let go and move on for good..yet because of him, I developed severe OCD symptoms and fear of the commitment that was marriage. So before leaving behind my infinite anger towards him, I had to think about my mental health first. So I did, and now the symptoms are not so severe anymore, I’m still afraid of marrying jin woo yet I know I can trust. The problem was that I didn’t trust myself enough to fully commit and then later not be able to accept even the little mistakes. So the deal was on hold, at least until I wasn’t 100% sure of myself. That's why I didn’t want to give my precious time in trying to force myself to forgive that man for betraying our family, two ing times.

 

“We, all go for it, whether good or bad the outcome is.” Chae Young finished beautifully bringing me back to reality. I gave her a thumbs-up, she bowed in response. “Now, You called for me?” She then gave her full attention to Jinwoo. “Here I am.” She added confidently not arrogant like Nasty girl.

 

“You know why..” He sorta challenged her, maybe even scare her.

 

But she didn’t feel for it. “Yes and I’m ready for it.” Quick as expected.

 

He then lifts open his briefcase, pulls out a white envelope with a singular blue metallic seal made with candle wax. “Inside you will find indication to the location, date and time of the exams, on all the subjects we have studied so far and those that we did not review as well.” He said seriously. “The latter is meant to understand how quickly and effectively you are able to learn, expose and teach others in action. First-person.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“You won’t be the only one to attend the exam, five other individuals from the same course yours will be there. I'll be of course one of the judges, but not the decisive one because the collective is meant to represent the most knowledgeable intellectuals in the world.” yeah...no biggie.

 

“I understand.”

 

“And if successful in the end you will be given the opportunity to choose the team you would like to work with, mine or Elon’s.” He added just to be clear.

 

“I know.” She replied. Her gaze fixed on the envelope. Probably thinking about all the hard work she did to get there, finally.

 

“Are you gonna cry?” I a little. “Wanna hug?”

 

“No.” She quickly reacted. “But a hug isn’t a bad idea.” She acted confident but I could still see her eyes sparkle.

 

“Aw come here, you tsundere girl.” I squeezed her in my embrace and Jinwoo also patted her head. The moment lasted seconds but I’m sure she would have remembered it for a long time. When we let go of her face was red, but she held the gate back and thanked us. “ I promise I won’t let you down and ..” She dramatically faced then Juhno and added. “Waste this once in a lifetime opportunity.” And off she went. Juhno ran after her arguing yet again with her.

 

“So are you gonna go for it, my love.” Jinwoo asked me as an echo to Chae Young's confident declaration.

 

I looked him in the eyes and nodded. “No more stalling.”

 

He rested his forehead on mine adding. “And I’ll help you, you can count on me.” He whispered.

 

“Thank you hon.” I kissed him light and we headed for the door.