As he was moving forward, darkness was all that surrounded him. Darkness consumed him in a way, but could it consume him when he was the darkness himself? All of his life, from the first breath he had taken, darkness was his only companion – aside from his trusty stallion, black and majestic as he’d like to imagine it. He could only imagine, draw things in his head with a black ink on a black paper – since darkness was all he knew, how was he able to imagine colours? How was he able to paint his big horse in his mind? He couldn’t.

So he mounted his stallion and patted his long neck, getting ready for another long ride – racing forward, from the pitch black into dark obsidian, from ravens into charcoals through onyxes. His eyes knew nothing more than that – so he assumed he was blind, just like his horse who simply galloped forward.

He didn’t know why he kept moving, for all he knew he could be rushing into the embrace of death, but something kept pushing him forward. He was searching for something, something that could free him from this misery, from this constant movement, endless darkness, never ending coldness. He couldn’t sit still for a long time, he had to keep moving, digging his heels into the side of his horse, faster, faster, faster.

His name, Oduum¹, meant nothing more but the darkness. It was only logical – his father was the darkness, his mother that gave birth to him was the darkness as well. It was all he knew and ever experienced, born in the blackness of the night, never had a peek of light. Sometimes he wondered if all humans led a life like he did – in utter silence, with no light whatsoever. But was he even human to begin with? He had never seen himself or a human, he only knew they existed. His whole life he simply knew, never experienced anything on his own, as if he had been born an adult, ready to enter the world with knowledge that he didn’t have to gain.

Time passed by slowly. He couldn’t even count time – it’s difficult when you can’t make a distinction between day and night, winter and spring. Sometimes he was positive that time didn’t exist, that he was merely few minutes old in the human’s world. Maybe he was an elder, grey and wrinkly, or maybe he was a new-born, crawling and babbling – he would never know for he had no one to talk to.

He longed warmth. Having no idea of what it felt like, he longed it with his whole existence, to experience something for the first and maybe only time in his life. It was as if finding warmth was his only purpose in life – he could feel it in his bones, they were ice-cold and waiting for a of warmth that will break them instantly and at last end this misery called life.

“Oduum”

After what felt like years of pointless race the silence was broken. He could swear he knew that voice and for the first time it wasn’t the knowledge he got at birth. For the first time he felt something stir in his chest, like a feeling, an emotion. He stopped his horse abruptly and stilled in complete silence, waiting for the voice to guide him again.

“Oduum”

The sound was so warm and gentle, like a breeze of fresh air in this still stuffiness. After a second of enjoying the voice cuddling his ears he dug his heel into the side of his horse. They needed to be fast, faster than ever, or else the voice would disappear and his only chance to save his soul and end this meaningless life would vanish forever.

“Oduum”

The voice was getting nearer, warmer, softer, like a sun he’d never seen, like fire he’d never touched, yellow and red and orange, like a sunset, like a lightbulb, hissing and fizzing and welcoming him in its arms. Was he losing his mind or there really was a sparkle of white in the distance?

He had to stop his horse.

It seemed like his dark world was crumbling, falling apart slowly and right in front of him was the first crack – light was seeping through, leaving long and warm rays cutting the raven black into pieces. He could only stare after leaving his horse behind and taking a step forward. Every next step resulted in the crack opening wider and letting more light in. He noticed how endless the darkness was, he was floating in it, there was no ground no sky, there was no end or beginning – infinity of cold black.

“Oduum”

Oh, how warm and sweet the voice was, it was what humans called honey, morning dew, child’s laughter. And it was calling him, it was his name that was formed by the crack of light. He wasn’t scared anymore – he welcomed it, the warm feeling at the tips of his fingers when he touched one of the rays seeping into his world. It burned and it hurt but it was something he longed for all those years, or maybe hours? The crack was as big as him, perfectly fit to step through it and give himself up to the warmth. Could he trust this voice? What if it’s a test? Maybe there were humans trying to invade his world of darkness, maybe they would pull him out and show to the world the ugliness of his face, the one that he’d never seen before?

“Come”

He understood the word, although he’d never spoken to anyone – he didn’t need any knowledge anyway for the word was so welcoming and then a hand followed it, slowly moving outside the crack and into his darkness. It was so bright and white that he had to squint his eyes – so he wasn’t blind as he had assumed.

“Take my hand”

The voice didn’t have to tell him twice – he held onto the delicate small hand tightly, hissing because it burned his black fingers so severly that he could smell the burnt skin. But he kept squeezing the hand in his desperately and it pulled him inside, so excruciatingly slowly and gently and yet he savoured every second. His eyes could be bleeding now for all he knew. The light was so strong and blinding that maybe he would get blind for real.

“Oduum, don’t be scared”

So he wasn’t. He gave up to the hand completely and let himself be pulled out of his safe zone, of the safety of the darkness that he called home.

With time his eyes got used to the brightness to some extent, but they were welled up with tears – he couldn’t pinpoint if it was because he was in so much pain or because he was moved. The voice started to look more like a creature, lean body with long limbs, one hand holding onto his gently while the other was already up and reaching for his face. When it touched his cheek, his face scrunched up in pain – it was burning, his skin was burning and the creature was moving so slowly as if enjoying his pain.

“We’re finally together”

The voice whispered softly right into his face when cuddling the side of it in its palm. He was finally able to make out some of its features – flawless, bright skin, plump lips, full cheeks. Eyes were blue or maybe green – he knew nothing oabout the conception of colours, everything was simply bright, so bright that he could feel the light seeping through his skin and into his body, one by one shutting down all of his black insides.

“Oduum…”

The voice suddenly sounded worried and withdrew its hand, as if regretting its decision, as if hesitating about something. It was the first time he experienced light but it was so familiar that he knew he met this creature somewhere before. He wanted to know more, he wanted the creature to touch him with those warm hands, run them all over his body so he turns into dust of a memory.

A smiled formed on his lips – all this time he was sure that his existence was pointless, all this race was pointless, but he was there, standing in front of the most perfect creature he’d ever lied his blind eyes on. Dark and cold days were over, lonely days were over. He reached for the hand himself and held it tight in his, not minding the pain anymore, he welcomed it with an open heart. The creature seemed startled for a second, but then the most beautiful smile adorned its face.

He wanted to call the creature Light, for he was the Darkness, but he knew the name, it occurred to him.

“Taemin”

Was the first word he’d ever said with his voice chords hoarse and unused. Taemin smiled wider and gave a short nod, looking happy but like he was in pain himself.

“Oduum…”

When he whispered his name he was in heaven – it must be what humans called paradise.

Taemin took a step forward and pressed their foreheads together, resulting in his black skin burning mercilessly but he knew it was good, they both knew. He trusted Taemin fully and he was glad he wasn’t going to leave this world on his own. Dying in the hands of light was the most beautiful death he could have asked for.

When Taemin touched each and every inch of his skin he started to love this sweet type of pain – parts of his skin were flying in the air, dark and cold and he was gladly letting go of them. He was turning into dust with every next second and his vision was swimming with tears.

“Don’t leave me…”

Taemin’s voice cracked with sadness that squeezed the heart inside his chest, the heart he never knew existed, but Taemin put it to work and he was also the one who was going to stop it. There was no more fear in him.

“Don’t cry”

He said and cupped Taemin’s delicate face in his hands – they were so different, a stark contrast of black on white. He wiped the diamond tears away from Taemin’s cheeks, letting them soak into his fingers that were already starting to fall apart. Such a sweet death, he thought to himself. He was becoming the light, leaving the darkness behind.

“Oduum…”

He hated that name now. He didn’t want to be called darkness, he wanted to be like Taemin, he wanted to be Taemin’s, from the toes to his head, from the skin to his heart.

“Call me Minho²”

He caught a glimpse of a smile on Taemin’s face before his vision started to fade – so that was death, a warm embrace, only him and Taemin. Like day and night, life and death, warm and cold, they were so different yet one couldn’t live without the other.

“Wait for me”

Were the last words Minho whispered before Taemin pressed their lips together in the sweetest of the kisses, painful yet putting an end to his misery.

And then he turned into dust right in Taemin’s palms.

As he was moving forward, darkness was all that surrounded him. Darkness consumed him in a way, but could it consume him when he was the darkness himself? He was born in the darkness, his mother and father were darkness itself. The only purpose of his life was to rush forward on his black stallion, holding onto the reigns tightly and galloping for minutes, hours, years. He stopped abruptly though, noticing a little light dot in the distance of utter blackness. He had no idea what it was, but the voice he heard was so familiar and gave a start to his heart that he had to go to the other side and meet the owner.

“Minho”

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¹ Oduum (어두움) means darkness in Korean.

² The name Minho has many translations, but one of them can be "brightness".

I hope you liked the story, feel free to leave comments and feedback, it will mean a lot to me! :) Have a nice day~