“Alright, that’s the end of it. Let’s go home,”

You said putting back the mop you used earlier inside the storage room. You glanced back at the tall man lying on one of the dining benches in the cafe. His feet dangling over the edge. He was playing with his phone, unconsciously humming to his favorite tune.

Jaehwan was the first person that you met after moving here. Being a very quiet and shy person, you were quite amused with Jaehwan’s friendly behavior. You were looking for a job and accidentally stopped by this cafe. Your first intention was to have a nice cup of coffee before continuing your job hunting. However, Jaehwan decided to keep you company and talked with you about how the cafe has been operated for only a month and was in need of a staff. Happily, you decided to fill in the application form and got hired right away. From then, you started to be friends and both of you are very close.

“Jaehwan, let’s go,” you said again clearly this time to make sure he noticed.

“Oh, you’re done?” he sat up and straighten the wrinkles on his shirt before grabbing his coat he left on the table beside him.

Nodding, you gave him a small smile and shooed him to the door and locked it. Once you stepped outside, you felt the cold air hit you immediately. You pulled your coat tighter and rubbed your sides hoping the coldness will subside soon. The cafe was closed earlier than it usually did since it was Christmas night. You looked around and gaped at the beautifully decorated city.

It was beautiful. Right in front of the cafe, there was a big tree and it was heavily decorated with balls, candy canes, and colorful lights. You saw a few parents bringing a well-wrapped gifts along with them in a rush maybe to go home, you assumed. As you looked around, your eyes landed on a pair of couple walking side by side holding hands enjoying the Christmas night together. You couldn’t help but to feel slightly jealous.

Sighing, you turned to look at Jaehwan who was staring at the same couple as well.

“Jaehwan, stop staring,” you chuckled looking at how his face scrunched in disapproval seeing the couple having their time together.

He looked at you and his face softened. A sweet smile slowly crept up his face. You cursed under your breath. Here’s a thing about Jaehwan, that sweet manly smile of his could appear at a very random place and time and you hated it so much. Being a close friend didn’t stop you from seeing him as a man. Sometimes, he likes being clingy and acts cute around you and sometimes, he just acts like a man to the point you feel secure and protected being with him. Slowly, your cheeks started to blush. No, no, you should not feel this kind of thing. You have promised to yourself that you are not going to get involved into feelings-based relationships yet. Not until you are financially stable. Now that it was only your second year here, you didn’t think it was the suitable time yet.

“Alright, I’m going home now, um, goodnight,” you said and walked away from Jaehwan.

“Wait,” you stopped on your track and turned around.

“It’s only 6 pm. Why are you in a rush? Do you have any plans after this?” Jaehwan quirked an eyebrow in a questioning manner looking at how rushed you were.

“Ah, no. I just want to stay home. As usual, spending my time alone, watching movies,” you shrugged. “Why?”

“Um… I kind of, have nothing to do this evening so I was wondering if I could join you?”

“Well… Um…” you were a bit astonished as you never bring Jaehwan into your small apartment before.

“I guess it’s an okay, now LET’S GO!” he ran towards you and hooked your arm dragging you to your house.

“Wait, wait, Jaehwan I am going to bake some cookies, I don’t think you will find it fun,”

“Then we are going to bake together,” he gave you the toothy grin and proceeded in dragging you.

Well, let’s hope things will turn out fine.

-

You locked the door and walked inside shrugging off your coat on your way. Jaehwan was already sitting on the sofa looking through the channel.

You proceeded to the kitchen to start with your cookie baking.

While gathering up the needed ingredients, you heard Jaehwan faintly complaining on his own.

“I know it’s Christmas, but don’t they think of the lonely people who have nothing to do than watch TV? There’s nothing fun on the TV, ugh,” he grumbled frustrated.

“There’s a box under the TV shelf. I keep all of my movies there,” you said laughing at him.

Listening to the box being shuffled around, you smiled to yourself.

“Jaehwan, what’s Christmas for you?” you asked while scanning the ingredients on the table to see if you left anything.

Ah, flour.

You noticed the container you use to keep the flour was on the upper shelf so you tip-toed to reach it. You almost got a grip on it, but you accidentally pushed it further inside.

Grumbling to yourself, you decided to look for a chair. However, before you managed to do anything, Jaehwan was already behind you reaching for the container. He was so close. You abruptly scooted away from him making him lose his balance and gasped in shock.

“Hey! Do that again and you will be covered in flour!” he warned.

“Um… Thanks,” you grabbed the container which he handed to you and proceeded with measuring.

Jaehwan, in turn rolled his eyes.

“Why are you so shocked it’s not like I am a stranger or anything,” he mumbled and sat on the kitchen stool.

“Well, Christmas for me is the warmest time of the year… and the loneliest,”

“Why?”

“Because, Christmas is supposed to be the time that you spend with your family and loved ones. But look at me, I am here in the city, miles away from my family, and alone. I only have you,” he continued.

You nodded while silently continue kneading the dough.

“What about you?”

“You know I don’t celebrate Christmas,” you slightly chuckled.

“Ah! Yes, you told me already,”

“But, during this time of the year, I guess… It’s the same with you. Seeing everyone else having fun with their families, lovers. I couldn’t help but feel lonely too. Guess we have a lonely and sad life, eh?” you laughed listening to Jaehwan faking a sad cry.

After putting the tray into the oven, you untied your apron and turned around to Jaehwan. Surprisingly, he was staring back at you.

“God, Jaehwan you scared me,” you mumbled and your eyes wandered everywhere but his eyes that were still fixed on you.

“Movie?” you asked to break the silence and he gave you a small smile and nodded before walking back to the living room.

You put your hands on both sides of your cheeks and realized that they were hot.

What even is that guy. You thought to yourself.

“What are we watching?” you put the hot chocolate on the coffee table in front of you and joined Jaehwan who already had a blanket draped over him on the couch.

“I don’t know, I just put in a random movie,” he looked at the mug you set on the table.

“Hot chocolate! Thanks!” he said it in a cute manner and took a sip of it before offering to share the blanket with you which you happily obliged.

Halfway through the movie, you accidentally turned to face Jaehwan and much to your surprise, he was giving you that lovely stare.

“Jaehwan?” he hummed in response not turning away.

“Um… Are you alright?” you waved your hand in front of his face but he swiftly caught your hand and your heart stopped for a second.

“Tell me, is it only me? Feeling things?” he brought his other hand to tuck a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. He smiled that stupid smile again.

Suddenly, the oven let out a ding indicating the cookies are ready.

“I… I’ll go get the cookies,” with that, you quickly pulled your hand from his grip and rushed to the kitchen.

Jaehwan’s smile dropped and he nodded.

“Yes… You should…”

You put the cookies on a plate and brought it for both of you to eat while watching the movies.

Both of you enjoyed the night without anyone bringing up the thing that happened earlier.

Guess it will always be a sad and lonely winter for you.