JINYOUNG POV:

(I wrote this song after listening to Ladies Code-I'm Fine, Thank You. Please listen to it while reading, click link below)

https://youtu.be/_VkuRwgNPPU

It has officially hit a whole year since you’ve been gone. Today has been more depressing than I thought it would be. The whole day I couldn’t focused at work. My mind kept drifting away. I kept recalling small memories of us, before all this happened. We used to be a happy couple. Everything was going fine between us, then before we knew it you left me all alone.

Work finally ended, after making sure I locked up my office I headed home. On the way home I drove by the park we used to go after school during our high school years. For some reason, I felt a light tug on my heart. I pulled over and parked my car. Getting out I walked towards the grassy park, sat on the swings we used to swing on years ago,.

I looked up onto the dark sky. I remembered how you used to love looking at the stars at night. You would force me to drive you away from the city, so you can watch the stars shine brightly. I felt tears forming around my eyes, blinding me from seeing that one star that I had named after you during our 3^rd year anniversary.

Before I knew it, time had flown by quicker then I wanted it. I was laying on the grass waiting to see your star would pop up, yet it never came up like how you would never return to me. The following day after work, without thinking I drove back to the park. Laid on the floor once again and foolishly searched for you *star* hoping you’ll appear brightly before me. The next day I found myself doing this all over again, this time my eyes filled with tears as I waited for you and like this, another day goes by.

My family and friends are starting to get worried as I never hang out with them. Instead I spend my free time at our park, waiting for you to show up and return to me. Most night’s I would not cry, I normally hold in my tears. But just for today I’ll cry, I hope you’re forever happy. I glanced at the sky rechecking if your star decided to appear by any chance. With no signs of you a sad smile appeared on my lips. Before walking away, I whispered the few words I always whisper before leaving.

‘I hope you’re forever happy, good bye.’

I promised myself to stop going to the park every day. And to start going out with friends and maybe go on small dates. I figured it’s time for me to finally move on from you. It was a late Saturday night when I went out with a group of my friends. We were at a local club, their I bumped into a couple of our old high school friends. We all decided to meet up the next day for a mini reunion.

After almost a year apart from you I was finally able to smile. I reminisce with our old friends and old memories of you came up. I would normally feel uncomfortable speaking about you since we are no longer together. It used to hurt like hell when people would talk about you around me. My heart used to crack just from hearing you’re name. But today I learned that I’ve finally moved on, and I can finally smile when I think of you. I can finally tell myself that I am not fine, thank you.

As years passed without you by my side, I’ve been living alone and perfectly fine. To be honest, you slipped out of my mind as years turned into decades. It has been almost 15 years since you left me, and you haven’t crossed my mind. Throughout the years, I’ve dated a couple woman here and there, but nothing to serious.

When I finally thought, I was moving on from you, and found my true love that’s when I knew no matter how many girlfriends I’ve had no one could replace you. I glance in the mirror and stared at myself. I wonder if you see me today would you still remember me? It has been decades since we’ve last seen each other. I no longer had the tight smooth skin, my hair line now start’s on the middle of my head. My hands are slightly bigger then to when I was younger, the skin wrapped around my hands slightly sags and the wrinkles are defind. I wonder, where ever you are do you think of me occasionally? Do you wonder how am I doing? If so I’ll answer to you I’m fine and you don’t need to worry.

As I turned to my 80’s I wished to search for your star again. I foolishly went back to the park, in hopes maybe you’ll appear before me one day too. I’ve spent another good 5 years going to the park, staying at the exact location to find you. At the age of 86 year’s old I was waiting for you to appear before me, when I felt something wrong. I fainted, and when I woke up I was hooked up in tubes.

Just for that day I cried, wishing that I could go to the park to see you. I prayed to God to help me find you, to wished that you’re forever happy where ever you are. After my prayers, I bid good bye to god and thanked him for listening to me. That night at the hospital I smiled dreaming of you. I dreamt that you were with me.

My stay at the hospital extended to longer days. It was getting tough for an old man like me to always be tested with different medical exams. My energy has been declining faster and faster. I asked my nurse to take out to the garden one night so I can look up at the stars shining brightly. I looked up and after many years I spotted your star. And once I did I felt a gush of windblown, and the pain I’ve been feeling these past few days have disappeared.

That night I felt extra tired, like always I said my prayer and wished you forever happiness and bided you a good bye. In my dream, I dreamt of you. I saw you a few feet away from me, dressed in a nice summer white dress. I called your name and ran to you. As I neared you, a smile spread across both of our faces. When I finally reached, you I pulled you in for a tight hug, not wanting to let go afraid I’ll lose you again. In the dream, I cried out of happiness to finally to able to see you after so many decades apart. You held my hand, and pulled me towards bright shining lights. Telling me it’s time to go home.

Family and friends gathered around me. Tear’s sheading as they buried me down 6 feet under. I was finally put to rest, at ease and no longer suffering. My body buried next to your grave. After decades, apart I’m finally able to see you again and be with you for entirety. We both now stare down from heaven smiling and looking after our love ones still in earth.