Listen to any sad instrumentals for more feels. My favorite sad instrumental HERE.

 

Wise men used to describe being in love as seeing the world from a new perspective. Even the gloomiest days were brightened at the sight of a warm smile. A smile so charming it had the magical power to wash all worries and troubles away. Losing track of time was a common problem since time seemed to pass by so fast; both desiring to elongate every counting seconds together. When their friends acknowledged them as a couple and even coined a couple name, they promoted it with a sense of pride: MyungZy, Myung Soo and Suzy.   The word sounded like music to their ears.   Once.   That was five years ago. One would stand amazed at how much could change within the mere span of days gone by. The days spent together, seemingly inseparable for a lifetime.   Once.   “I love you. Bye.”   The words were uttered from Myung Soo’s mouth like a routine, and Suzy wondered whether he remembered its actual meaning. When did the powerful statement lose its affection? When did it lose its value? The loving words were not supposed to leave her heart cold and barren like the perched ground desiring for fresh spring water.   Suzy gave him a second, observing his face as he stared out of the car window. His eyes that used to sparkle whenever he sighted her had lost its glow. It used to tell a thousand stories, but when she stared into them now, she only read the ending page. It still sparkled so beautifully like it did five years ago, but those gazes were never meant for her anymore.   He never spared her look. She had already grown used to it. But maybe, just maybe, he’d look at her again today. She had been telling herself this lie for many months now--years even--only to be disappointed by the avoidance of his glistening eyes she had missed.   “Bye,” she whispered softly. Her fingers traced the handle of the car door and pushed it open. The familiarity of the movement was sickening, almost. She did not mind the moment he had stopped opening the door for her like the gentleman he insisted he was, or when he playfully locked the door the moment she tried to exit only to have her kiss his lips as an alternate way out, he used to say. Those moments she were fond of, for they made her laugh.   What she did mind, above all else, were her numbing feelings. The moment she walked away from him was a break free from the constant suffocation of the what-ifs and the what-could-have-been’s.   The thorny vine constricting her heart would finally loosen up. The scars still left her heart to bleed, and the sharp thorny edges would prickle her feelings, but at least she released herself from the embraces of agony.   It allowed her some space to think. To think of anything but him. She found out she was happier whenever she thought of anything that was not Kim Myung Soo.   The black Mercedes drove away and she regained her ability to breath. It was a strange feeling altogether; gladness he had gone far away, and the remorse of him never looking back. Not even once.     “Hey, wanna go to karaoke tonight?” Dong Woo’s chipper voice called out, inviting any of the colleagues who heard him. It was Friday, and their office occasionally hosted these events to keep the workers in spirit and motivated.   Suzy forced a smile on her dry lips, feeling the slightest bit of joy that day when everyone else were making a fuss to go and started preparing the playlist. It was an instant chaos when Sung Jong wanted to sing the latest girl group songs, but Ho Won insisted on hip hop.   “Are you going?”   Her long gleaming black hair danced along to her movements when she turned to meet Lee Sung Yeol leaning against her desk.   “I don’t know,” she answered rather playfully. For her tall friend she always managed to flash a genuine smile. She had known him for quite a while since university, but only got closer when they both ended up working as a financial analysts at the prestigious Bank of Korea.   “Does it depend on your boyfriend?” Sung Yeol questioned, aware of her relationship struggles. She had told him the story before.   The smile stiffened on her face. Boyfriend. It was a term she had come to despise and tried to avoid at all cost. The constricting vine returned at the mention of anything related to that word. A part of her wished she could hide the fact she had a boyfriend.   Most of her colleagues were unaware of her status, which she had unconsciously led them to believe. She hid her relationship status on Facebook, and stopped posting their pictures together. She just wanted to be known as Bae Suzy, not as Myung Soo’s Suzy, or as MyungZy.   “Sung Yeol and Suzy should sing a duet!” Sung Jong suddenly shouted. The idea was met by clamoring cheers from the others.   “Or she could sing with me. We’d create the perfect harmony.” Sung Gyu openly showed his playful affections to the girl.   “I don’t want any of us to get beaten up though,” Sung Yeol shouted back a response. Because many of them considered Suzy single and had seen her interact closely with Sung Yeol, they were oftentimes mistaken as a couple.   Suzy chuckled at his remark. “Honestly, I think you’d be on the winning side. You’re taller,” she told him.   “Really?” This surprised Sung Yeol. “You’re not supposed to compare your boyfriend to another guy.”   “It’s okay when he no longer acts like a boyfriend.” The words left a bitter aftertaste in , and her expression resembled a person whose joy was all out.   Her eyes stared at the KakaoTalk chat screen she had opened from her desktop. An hour ago, she had send him a ‘hi.’ And three minutes ago, he replied with a ‘what?’ Communication was definitely no longer their strongest points.   Oh how she missed those times when Myung Soo shared cheesy lines he had found online just so they could both laughed at the unfortunate person ever having to hear these lines in real life--until they realized after Woo Hyun got himself a girlfriend he was the epitome of cheesiness itself. Sometimes Myung Soo would deliberately share not safe for work jokes that got her in trouble multiple times for laughing out loud during her meetings. He’d then have to treat her afterwards and they’d say it was a date. Other times he would share his struggles at work, or told her about his plans and dreams for the future. They connected over those long deep conversations as well as their inside jokes.   That was a long time ago. Now he only shared a ‘what?’   Sung Yeol saw that unreadable expression on her face and figured she needed some distraction. “We’re either going to karaoke and have some fun, or you’re gonna tell me what’s bothering you,”   “Considering there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I pick option number one!” She faked her cheery tone, and the corner of twitched to hold the smile. Time had not permitted her to smile with so much joy, and therefore, her face muscles no longer remembered how to.   Sung Yeol could tell she was lying, but there was no point in arguing with her now. The girl would speak if she wanted to, and today was not such a day.   “So are you in or are you in?” Dong Woo questioned another round, popping his head next to Suzy.   “I’m in! Sung Yeol is in too!” Suzy yelled out, and she chuckled when the colleagues began to coo for them again as if she had no boyfriend.   As if she was single again.     The karaoke night was like a remedy to her broken heart. It was exactly was she needed to get her mind off Myung Soo’s cold stares and uninterested replies. For two hours, she washed away the ignorance from her long time boyfriend. It felt nice.   “Do you think it’s possible to fall out of love?” Suzy suddenly questioned when Sung Yeol was driving her home that night. It was past midnight, and he insisted on taking her back.   “Why do you ask?”   “Because lately I find myself having more fun when I’m not around him. I feel like my heart flutters when I’m with other guys instead.” With him, Suzy was always honest. Despite the silly trickster he appeared to be, he had some really good insights regarding relationship problems.   “Whoa… Am I one of them?” He asked her with a cheeky grin.   “You wished.” Suzy chuckled and gave him a subtle push. He remained calm with his hand on the steering wheel, laughing along.   She couldn’t help but remember the way Myung Soo would exaggerate an act whenever she pushed him that same way. He’d drift his steering wheel when the road was empty, jokingly pushing the blame on her and her monstrous strength. One time they actually got stopped by a police who mistook Myung Soo for drunk driving. After that he behaved on the road no matter how many times she tried provoking him. That dork.   “I think it’s normal to feel that way,” Sung Yeol averted her attention back to the present reality where her relationship with Myung Soo was nothing like the memories she treasured.   “Really?”   “You have been dating for such a long time, so it’s only natural for that fluttering feeling to disappear.”   “But what if I don’t want it to disappear?” Suzy questioned, pouting her lips as she let her chin barely touch her chest.   “Falling in love is a chance. Staying in love is a choice,” Sung Yeol spoke, seeing the girl stare at him with shock. “You need to remember why you fell for him in the first place.”   “Maybe,” Suzy uttered quietly and turned her gaze to the dark night sky clouded by dim streetlights as t