Loving you was easier when we were young. 

Back then we were free, wild, careless. I could held your hand and everything would be fine. At first I just loved your smile; I could spend hours and days trying to make you laugh, to see the flames burning on your lips, the joy on your heart, the music of your sparkling eyes. That would make the ecstasy ran across my fingers, reaching my mind; and then we would both laugh together, two boys with nothing else but ourself. 

Now I know you deep inside. I have meet your dreams and fears. I have tasted your tears and chased your nightmares. I know your days and nights, I know when you're just pure happy or upset or just having a bad time. 

I know you better and I love you more for it, for those ten years we spent together and apart, for all the moments that we have shared, for all those instants that would life on my mind forever. 

I could lie to you so easily then. You trusted me because I was your favorite hyung, and I could hide my feelings and you would never knew.

Now you can read me like a newspaper, like a music sheet; you can play with my thought like you play with your drums, they are more yours than mine; they're always about you. Your face covering all the corners on my brain, you are every dream of my mind. Now I have to keep them tamed or they will run to you, reach you with the ferocity of my love, like a bonfire, it will burn you, so I have my feelings for you caged in my heart, where you'll never find them, even when my heart is always screaming your name, with every beat my blood run hot and wild to make me feel your light touch, like a pouring sunset, a set of colors that draws me and you. 

I never wanted to stop loving you, stop feeling this way about you, not because it's impossible, but because it's you. I want to love you, I chose to love you, even if you don't love me back.

Loving you feels like home, it makes me feel safe and sound. My soul is colored with your smile, butterflies flying around my chest in sweet pain, my gaze on you, singing for you, even when you're not here, even if you can not hear it.

It's  been so long, so much years,  but I still love you strongly, even when we changes, even after all the problems you had to face, I love you the same, because it's you, because that's the only way. I have to love you, my little angel, ensure your smile, make sure that you laugh loud and proud, that you sing with all you have. I have to protect your precious self from all harm. 

Even if you're smiling to someone else, I will keep loving you, because that's  what I mean to do. And even if it's getting hard to keep, or if I'm getting old and stubborn, and sometimes annoying and grump, don't forget that I still love you. We have grown up together and I know you better than I know myself, so when I say that I will love you forever, it's the truth. I will love you until the end, and my last breath will be yours, because it will be your name, Kang Dae Sung.