Some gasping and sighing can be heard throughout the entire Gfriend’s practice room. They were having a one week off schedule but they still need to practice for their upcoming events and shows. And now, they were all taking a one hour break from their intense dance practice to cool off the heat. At the corner of the room, a bit isolated from the other members sat the leader of Gfriend, Sowon. Her mind is wandering off everywhere, but her eyes fix to only one figure in that room. Eunha, the group’s lead vocalist. She tried so hard to maintain her gaze to that girl, but somehow her eyes still landed to the other beautiful girl who’s fanning herself crazily.

Sowon can’t remember when she’s fallen for the petite and lovable girl, Eunha. That girl always driving her crazy with her antics, each and every day. Talking non-stop about everything and doing something that she, as a leader has prevented her to do. But Eunha just being Eunha. She always tried to get away from trouble by acting cute to people around her, especially Sowon. And every single time Sowon will fell for it. Maybe that’s why Sowon fell in love with Eunha. She wants Eunha to look at her with that special gaze that speaks love. As of now, Eunha only ever look at someone so special like that is to the other tall line member. Eunha always acted cute and flirty towards Sowon, but that only when she needed to get away with something. When it’s the other tall line girl, she did it to get her attention.

Today is the same situation like any other day. Sowon was staring at Eunha just to realise that she was staring at another girl. Again. Naturally, Sowon’s eyes would also move to the other girl. Gfriend’s main vocalist. Yuju.

Sowon smiles bitterly after taking a big gulp of water from her mineral bottle. Staring closely at Yuju who’s currently doing crazy dance battle with Sinb.

“Who wouldn’t fall for her? Everyone will. In fact, if I didn’t already in love with Eunha, I’ll fall for her.” Sowon said to no one but herself.

Things have been complicated for Sowon these few months. Not just as a leader of the new trending girl group, but also as a girl whose love story isn’t going to be easy. Sometimes, when Yuju was too close to Sowon, she feels her heartbeat beats faster than ever. Whenever Yuju was talking excitedly, Sowon will got immersed in it and somehow losing her mind. All she can think about is how soft and sweet Yuju’s lips will taste like. She caught herself staring at Yuju after that.

Sowon still remember the v app live they did on Yuju’s birthday. Everyone took turns to kiss the birthday girl. She thought she was supposed to be jealous of the lucky girl, Yuju because she got a sweet and passionate kiss from Eunha, the girl who Sowon’s in love with. But instead, she got jealous of every Gfriend’s members because they got to kiss Yuju, especially Yerin who kissed Yuju thousands of times that day, fully taking advantage to kiss Yuju as much as she wants at the rare opportunity because Yuju usually refused to get kiss. Sowon wants to be special. She wants Yuju to remember her kiss the most. So she did it following her own heart and body. Not really thinking of anything. She sweetly and somehow sensually kissed Yuju on the cheek. She can feel her lips burning against Yuju’s soft cheek. The way she kisses Yuju has her earned squeals, laughters, and gasps from the others on v app live but to be honest, it also earned her weird stares from them especially the sharp eyes of Sinb.

Sowon knows she screwed up that day. When they arrived at their dorm, Sinb barged in to her shared room with Yerin and asked one simple question that made her never have a good night sleep these days.

“You’re seriously falling in love with Yuju unnie, aren’t you?” Sowon was speechless. She couldn’t think nor produce any sound. All she can do was staring at Sinb’s eyes who have been reading her expression and motion. After a few seconds, Sinb retreats her body from the room without saying any word. Sowon caught Sinb’s smile knowingly before she got out. Without any warning, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Is staring enough for you?” Sowon was taken back from her thoughts to the practice room again by Sinb’s voice.

“When did you get here?” Sowon nervously asked Sinb who’s wiping her sweats with a towel.

“The dance battle already finishes ten minutes ago and I’ve been here since then. But of course you wouldn’t notice as you’re too busy ogling over Yuju unnie’s body.” Sinb’s teasing smile somehow irritates Sowon and makes her cheeks hot at the younger girl statement.

“I’m not ogling at anybody. I’m just thinking of our next event.”

“Don’t lie to cover up the obvious truth. I may be younger but I know what love looks like.” Sinb’s stern voice surprises Sowon. After she said those words, she left to give a mineral bottle to the still excited girl, dancing in the middle of the practice room with Yerin. Sowon’s heart ache a little when she saw Sinb’s wiping Yuju’s neck that was covered with sweat and Yuju’s smiling sweetly while tapping Sinb’s nose a little as gratitude.

“Don’t provoke me Sinb.” Sowon said to no one again through her gritting teeth and she bites her lips hard.

                                                                                                                 ***

Eunha knows she’s a very loud member in Gfriend. She can never stop talking because talking makes her forget about the hardship of being an idol. Talking helps her overcome her fear. And talking strengthens her bonds with the other member. But she realise talking doesn’t help her when she’s fallen for a girl. An amazing girl with a wonderful personality, a beautiful voice, a gorgeous heart, and a magnificent beauty. Yuju.

Eunha doesn’t know that her love for Yuju can be this strong. So strong that she will be jealous if Yuju went out with other girl. So strong that she will be heartbroken when Yuju doesn’t choose her. So strong that she feels like her heart will burst when Yuju kiss other girl in front of her eyes. What Eunha do know is she already gave her heart to Yuju from the first moment Yuju approached her before debut.

Yuju is a kind and sweet girl with a golden heart. Everyone knows that. She really loves and cherishes her members a lot. Not hiding her affections to her members but keep it low profile to not be like Yerin. Yuju cherishes Umji so much and in her eyes, Umji is a wonderful child ever and she will protect her like her own daughter. Sinb is her perfect partner in crime. The one that Yuju always learned something new from and teach something else as a return. Both of the main line couple as their fans call them; acknowledge each other talent and they complimented each other beautifully. Together they make a perfect and powerful idol. Although Sinb acted boyish and a bit manly, but in Yuju’s eyes she’s such a sweet girl who deserve all the love in this world. Yerin is a sweet and a lovable older sister to Yuju. Sometimes it makes Yuju feels extremely overwhelm by how clingy Yerin could be to her, how disgustingly sugar coat words she will say, and how frequently Yuju was attacked with sudden shower of kisses from her. But after all these years, Yuju got used to it and instead now she also started to show her loves to the older girl too in her own way and just sweet enough to Yerin’s delight. As for Sowon, not just Eunha but also all of Gfriend members know that how much Yuju respect the leader. She always trying to find a way to lessen the burden that the leader carry and will show how much she appreciate and cherishes her. As much as how Yuju the only one holds a special place in Eunha’s heart, Sowon is the one who holds a special place in Yuju’s heart. Eunha can pretty much saw that and even swallow it bitterly. She acknowledge that fact because Sowon is the only person Yuju allowed to see her in her most vulnerable moment. Even if Yuju doesn’t show it, Sowon will always knew and just a touch on the shoulder will make Yuju’s knee weakens. Eunha doesn’t know how much more can Sowon mean to Yuju. Or maybe she knew and just doesn’t want to acknowledge it. As for herself, she always knew that Yuju has a soft spot for her. Maybe because once, Yuju confessed to her shyly but sincerely how Eunha is her strength. They rely on each other emotionally although Eunha’s the one who shared a lot and Yuju just needs her to be there without asking what is wrong. But really, Eunha wants Yuju to look at her as more than that. Not just as a same age friend, a sister, or strength. She wants Yuju to finally look at her as a girl who can’t help but falling in love with her. Is it so much to ask?

                                                                                                                         ***

Sowon doesn’t know what came over her mind this morning. The memory of her short conversation with Sinb yesterday makes the dagger in her heart getting deeper. And a flash of sweet exchanges between Yuju and Sinb yesterday in her mind somehow enrages her and makes her thinking irrationally. It is also added to the mess when a familiar dream came to her last night about the time when Eunha passionately kissed Yuju’s cheek and that particular kiss made Yuju blush furiously that day has torn her heart into pieces. So today, she determinedly decided to confess her feeling for Eunha once and for all. She doesn’t need to make the right choice. She just needs to stop her heart from hurting for the wrong person and shouting the wrong name.

“I’ve got something important to tell you. You need to listen carefully and please don’t act all cutesy with me right now. I just need a moment of seriousness from you.” Sowon straightforwardly said to Eunha.

“Okay. I hate being serious, but I’ll try unnie.” Eunha’s smile cutely that somehow frustrates Sowon a little. She sighs deeply before talking.

“I’ve been feeling this way for quite some time. I don’t think I can hold this to myself anymore. I’ve spend too many times worrying how people might think of me. What my family reactions will be? Would our fans understand my feeling? Can our members still love me the same? I decided to put all of that behind first, at least for now. What I really want to say is…I’m in love with you. Eunha, I really am in love with you.” Eunha blinks her eyes repeatedly. Sowon gulping so hard at the silence and she still feel the heavy burden in her heart. She notice Eunha doesn’t seem shock. Just maybe a little confuse.

“You’re trying really hard to eliminate a possible rival to your true goal, unnie. You will risk everything by now even if it means you need to sacrifice your own feeling. Don’t you think it’s too much?” Eunha smile bitterly at Sowon.

“What? What are you saying? I’m confessing to you right now. Are you even realizing that? Or that is just the way of you saying no?” Somehow, Sowon felt betrayed by Eunha’s choices of words.

“I think you already know for whom my heart beats for. Because you live for her too, aren’t you? She’s all the reason that you keep getting strong every day. She’s the reason you keep smiling because even though something hurts her, she will always keep moving forward. She’s your strength and your happiness.” Sowon doesn’t miss a single tear running down Eunha’s cheek although she wipes it quickly.

“You…” Sowon’s lips trembling hardly that she needs to bite it.

“Yuju. That’s the name that you’ve been aching to call. That’s who I’m in love with. That’s…who… you’re in love with.” Eunha’s voice cracks a little at the end of her speech.

“You think I didn’t notice? I’ve always noticed you’re staring at me when I’m not looking. But when you realise who I’ve been staring the whole time, your eyes keep searching for her too. Every single time. Maybe you didn’t realise it but I saw how automatically your lips curves into a sweet smile whenever she’s in sight and I’ve been very familiar with the way you look at her, all the sparkles and stars behind your eyes. You’re wearing your heart on your sleeves unnie. Only for Yuju.” Sowon avoided Eunha’s eyes that were full of sadness but what breaks her even more is there was also so much understanding in that eyes. Eunha’s wrong. She do realise it. She doesn’t remember when and how it changes from admiring Eunha from a far has become head over heels for Yuju from a far.

“I’m…in love…with Yuju… Am… I?” Tears are rolling down fiercely from Sowon’s eyes. Her voice cracks and her body trembles. Eunha carefully wraps her arms around Sowon’s neck and bring their body closer. She leans her head on the taller girl shoulder. Sowon slowly brings her arms around Eunha’s small waist.

“You’re stupid if you’re still denying your love for Yuju. Don’t torture yourself like that. Please…” Sowon hug Eunha’s tighter as she can feel the shorter girl tears on her shoulder.

“I love you.” Eunha smiles at that second confession. This time, she believes it.

“I know. But you love her more. You want to hug her to sleep at night. You want to kiss her lips and feel her smiles. You want to always hold her hand without anyone questioning why. You want to be her strength when she’s down. Just so you know, I love you too, Sowon unnie.”

“And you love her more too.” The two girls shared a melancholic smile and hug. They understand each other fear and desire as their hearts scream the same girl name too.

                                                                                                                     ***

Yuju is running down the stairs of their condominium while furiously wiping the tears that would not stop running on her cheeks. She barely sees the steps she’s taking as her eyes were clouded with tears. She doesn’t bother to take the elevator, as she wants to work her heart out over limit so she can’t feel this pain anymore. Yuju never stop running even after she left the dorm. She runs for a couple more blocks and before she realise it she already in front of Source Music building. She stops for a while to take a deep breath that seems to suffocate her even more and then continue her steps to the practice room on the underground level of the building.

Yuju is staring at her reflection on the mirror in the practice room. She can see how dishevel her hair look, how red her eyes and how puffy her cheeks is, but most importantly how a mess and broken she looks right now. She can’t even recognize herself anymore. Her body is still trembling but the tears has stop. The memory of earlier event at the dorm keeps on playing on her mind like a broken record. Over and over again. 

The encounter between Sowon and Eunha earlier, Yuju saw it. Well, part of it. A very small part of it but it damaged a big part of Yuju. She just came back from her morning exercise routine when she heard voices from her bedroom that was shared with another three members. She thought Eunha probably still sleeping while Umji and Sinb were studying at the library. So who could it be? When Yuju open the door, the first scene that came into her sight was breaking her heart. It was a scene of Sowon and Eunha hugging each other tightly but what really damaged Yuju was when Sowon said I love you to Eunha, she smiles sweetly and tightens their hug. That was enough for Yuju. She didn’t need to hear anything anymore. She slowly retracts herself and runs out the door.

Yuju is never afraid of anything. She is a brave girl who never gives up and has a strong will. Everyone knows that. But when real feeling comes and hit her in the face, she doesn’t know what to do. She didn’t have anyone to talk too. She’s scared that her mom would be mad of her especially when her mom knows that she fell in love with a girl. Causing anything that could bring her family rage and tears, that is what Yuju afraid off. Yuju has always been admiring Sowon. She looks up to that older girl a lot because she’s done a great job as a leader. When Yuju having a hard time although she doesn’t show it, Sowon always be the first one to stand beside her and gives an encouraging and warmth caresses on her back. She can’t ever forget Sowon’s face when she kept falling down on stage in different occasion. The leader was so worried and a little bit mad at herself that she didn’t even bother to control her face expression. Being the only two members who doesn’t need to diet makes both of them spend time together much more especially when eating. People often say that through food two people can become closer. That’s the case between Yuju and Sowon. Even when eating Sowon always taking care of Yuju, feeding her food, wipe the sauce at the corner of , shares a glass of drink together, all the actions that makes Yuju feels like she’s being taking to a date by her boyfriend.

Yuju is an independent girl. She was being taught to not depend on other people since she’s a child. She always taken care of other members so well even Yerin who is older than she is. But when it comes to Sowon, she was never given the chance to take care or even worry about the leader. Sowon will quickly ask how’s Yuju holding up and continue taking her hand to share their warmth. Maybe that is the reason Yuju fall in love with Sowon. The only people who can tear down her vulnerable side and makes her feel safe.

Yuju confused about what Sowon might feel for her. She often caught Sowon stares at her lovingly and smiles unconsciously. So she thought, maybe Sowon feels the same for her too. But sometimes, she also caught Sowon staring at Eunha intently and completely ignores her surroundings. Everyone knows Sowon’s affection towards Eunha. She cherishes that petite girl a lot. Yuju can see how completely Sowon will be charmed by Eunha’s smile. And after the event earlier, she knew where Sowon’s heart lies.

Yuju was startle when a pair of hands suddenly wraps her waist from behind. She can’t seem to see the person face reflection on the mirror because they hide their face on her shoulder.

“Don’t ever storm out like that again. Don’t ever runs down the stairs again and don’t go on a marathon the whole block to our company. It’s dangerous. Everything you did today was dangerous. Don’t make me run for you and don’t make me worried ever again.” That person hot breath tickles Yuju’s neck and she can finally see clearly that person face. She smiles guiltily.

“Did you follow me all the way here, Sinb?” Yuju caresses softly Sinb’s hands that were still around her waist.

“Yes. I saw you running in front of the elevator to the stairs. I called for you but you didn’t hear so I followed you. I didn’t know you decided to run all the way here. It’s a long run you know.” Yuju slowly turns her body around to face Sinb without breaking the contact.

“I’m sorry.” There was so much hurt it those two words to Sinb’s hearing. Yuju is avoiding Sinb’s sharp eyes and instead focusing on wiping the sweats on Sinb’s forehead.

“Who are you running from?” Sinb’s trying to find Yuju’s eyes.

“My own heart.” Yuju’s voice cracks a little.

“Did it work?” Sinb runs her fingers softly against Yuju’s cheek, in attempt to soothe the older girl heart.

“What do you think?” Yuju smiles bitterly.

“Umji called me earlier when I’m on my way here. She said that situation at the dorm was pretty tense. Sowon unnie asked her where you are since your bag was in front our bedroom door. Umji said that Sowon unnie and Eunha unnie look scared. They thought you might hear something that you shouldn’t have heard.” Sinb can feel Yuju’s grip on her shoulders tightens. She can also feel the older girl’s body become tense.

“It doesn’t matter now. In fact, now I don’t have to wonder where her heart belongs. I don’t have any reason to get sway by her sweet gestures. I now have a very strong reason to avoid staring at her.” Each words that came out from Yuju’s mouth feels like a thousand daggers stabbing through Sinb’s heart. She can’t bear to see the girl who has the sweetest smile in her eyes looks so broken. She wishes she could take that sadness away.

“Have you found a reason to stop loving her?” Yuju shakes her head weakly.

“Good, because you don’t have too. Believe me when I say there’s nothing going on between Sowon unnie and Eunha unnie. Frankly speaking, both of them in love with the same person. You don’t have to worry about it. Find your own happiness Yuju unnie. That’s what I want you to do.” Yuju finally stares at Sinb’s eyes with her big black orbs. She smiles a little then slowly leans in to kiss the corner of Sinb’s lips. It was so close to her lips that Sinb feels like her heart stop beating. She grips on Yuju’s waist tighter to restrain herself from doing something stupid.

“Thanks for being here with me, Sinb. I don’t want to have hope anymore but I feel better.” Sinb swears she can die peacefully right now because Yuju is smiling her sweetest smile that makes her beautiful big eyes disappear. How she loves that kind of smile from Yuju. So Sinb decided to let herself lose for a little. She bravely gives a peck on Yuju’s nose then kisses her cheek. Her lips linger there for a little longer to savour the feeling of Yuju’s soft skin and the music her heart playing.

“You deserve all the love and happiness in this world, Sinb.” Yuju whisper her words on Sinb’s ear while hugging the shorter girl.

“If you’re happy, then I’m happy too. Because I love you, Yuju unnie.” Sinb meant every word she said to Yuju, sincerely.

“You know that I love you too, Sinb. Always and forever.” Sinb smiles sadly and hides her face on the crook of Yuju’s neck.

You’ll never understand how much I love you and in what way or even what I would do to just make you happy, Yuju

Gfriend fans might notice this that Yuju and Sinb don’t have much moment together. In fact, they barely have any interactions. It’s just the same whether on or off camera. They still do have a good relationship with each other. Surprisingly they were like having some sort of unspoken agreement. When there were only both of them, they were pretty much intimate with each other that kissing and hugging doesn’t really bother them. This is a secret that will remain between the two just like how it will remain a secret about what Sinb feels for the main vocal.

                                                                                                                            ***

Yuju is isolating herself from other members since she got back from the practice room with Sinb. Yerin and Umji was worried about her and kept asking why her eyes so puffy and what went wrong. Sowon just couldn’t approach her especially after seeing her red eyes. Yuju’s currently listening to music using earphones with full blast volumes to ignore her surroundings completely. She’s sitting on her bed alone as her members let her be by herself for now. She didn’t realise it that Eunha already in the room, sitting on Umji’s bed across hers, staring longingly at her. Yuju tried to ignore her presence.

“Can we talk now?” Yuju was surprised when her earphones was pulled out by someone and saw Eunha’s face was so close to hers.

“I don’t feel like talking right now, Eunha. I’m sorry.” Yuju avoids looking into Eunha’s sorrowful eyes.

“Fine. Then just hear me out. I’ve got important things to say to you. You need to listen. You must listen, Yuju.” Yuju just nods weakly, letting Eunha to continue speaking.

“I know you must saw something earlier this morning. The conversations between Sowon unnie and me. But I believe you didn’t hear all of it. You just assume things. It’s a misunderstanding….”

“It’s not a misunderstanding if you decided to be happy. It’s your own rights. I’ve got no say in this matter.” Yuju cuts of Eunha’s words while trying to control her emotions.

“That’s the problem. You’re the sole of this matter. We want happiness. We both do. But the person who can make us happy is the same person. So by the end of the day, one of us will need to sacrifice her happiness for the other two.” Yuju finally look at Eunha, staring confusedly while trying to search for the truth in those gleaming eyes.

“What are you saying? I thought you and Sowon unnie were together. You’re supposed to make each other happy…” Yuju is on the verge of crying but she held herself in.

“You! You are our happiness! You…are…my happiness… My heart, it’s always yours. From the first moment you talked to me, I’ve decided to give you my heart. I never regret it. I’m happy because I gave it to the right person. I love you, Yuju.” Yuju was stunt. She just realise how lovingly Eunha’s staring at her. Who’s reflection in her eyes and what name she kept calling.

“W…what? Eunha… I’m…” Yuju couldn’t find the right words to say to the heartbroken girl.

“I know. You don’t have to be sorry. You’re my happiness so even when you decided to be with someone else, someone that you love, someone that can make you happy, and then I’m happy too. I can be happy. I’ll…be happy, Yuju.” Without her knowing, Eunha’s tears streaming down heavily on her cheeks. She can’t control it. It hurts Yuju. She can’t look at her best friend, her sister, her family, cried because of her. She hates it.

“Eunha…” Yuju grabs Eunha’s hand and pulls her in her arms. Eunha feels rush with emotions once in Yuju’s embrace. She grip tighter Yuju’s body. Her body is trembling and Yuju can feel that.

“I hope this will be the last time you cried because of me.” Eunha chuckles bitterly at Yuju’s words.

“Can’t promise you that.” Yuju sighs heavily while caressing Eunha’s hair.

“Well then promise me you’ll find your own happiness.”

“It’s always going to be you though.”

“Eunha…”

“Yuju…please…don’t ask me to forget you. Don’t try and make me find my own happiness when I clearly said before that you’re my happiness. So it’s fine. After all, love is not always meant to be together, right.” Eunha flashes her lovely smile to Yuju.

“Yeah…they don’t. But, you also need to know that love has much kind of forms. What I have for you is indescribable. You’ll always be my strength. I know you’ll be behind me, supporting me, cherishing me, and loving me. I acknowledge that so please keep it in your mind and heart that you’re very special to me. Maybe I’m not in love with you the way you wanted, but you will always be my reason to keep moving forward and I will sacrifice my own life anytime for you. If there’s no love for Sowon unnie, I’ll be marrying you.” Eunha playfully smacks Yuju’s shoulder while giggling.

“Stop melting my heart. I’ve already head over heels for you.” Yuju lovingly caresses Eunha’s cheek.

“I have one request. Don’t let this thing ruin what we have. Because what ever happen between us or what might happen between Sowon unnie and me, we must remember that what we have is special. Okay?” Eunha nods cutely and continue to give a peck on Yuju’s cheek. Yuju smiles and decided to return the favour by kissing Eunha’s forehead. She then pulls the petite girl into her embrace tighter.

“I love you.” The sweetest three words in the world came out from Yuju’s mouth. Eunha smiles were getting bigger. Although she knew it hurts, but she also knew that Yuju loves her truly. She wouldn’t ask for more. This is enough for her.

                                                                                                                  ***

A few days have passed since the conversation between Yuju and Eunha. Their relationship is getting tighter than before because now they acknowledge how special they are to each other. Although there’s a bit different in the way Eunha loves Yuju, but she never let it get in the way of their strong bond. Well it’s the opposite way with Sowon and Yuju. Yuju completely tries to avoid the leader at any chance while Sowon is too scared to get close to the main vocalist. So after a few pushes from the other members especially from a certain main dancer, Sowon finally builds her courage to talk to Yuju.

Yuju just came out from the bathroom while drying her wet hair with a clean towel. She mums a song to herself but then stood frozen when she realise another presence in the room. Sowon was fidgeting uneasily on Umji’s bed while biting her nails. She stops her movement and look up from her laps to see a very alluring girl is standing in front of her. She feels the time stop moving and her heart stop beating. Her hand unconsciously reaching for Yuju but she quickly retreats it when she saw Yuju flinch in pain.

“What are you doing here, Sowon unnie?” Sowon shivers as she hears the coldness in Yuju’s voice. She bravely stares at the younger girl eyes and started to talk.

“We’ve got to straighten things out. More like, I need to straighten things out. I hate the changes we had because of my foolishness. I hate what it causes you to be right now. I hate that…you’re hurting.” Yuju finally takes a seat on her bed as she afraid that she might lose strength throughout this conversation.

“I’m fine, unnie. We’re good.” Yuju clearly avoiding Sowon’s stares and she hates that. She wants Yuju to look at her the same way she always did. With love.

 “Then why aren’t you looking at me? Do you hate me now?” Yuju scoff silently.

“There’s not even a single space left in my heart to hate you. It just full of… just…I can’t hate you. Not that I want it too.” The defeated tone in Yuju’s voice just breaks Sowon’s heart more. She slowly gets closer to Yuju’s bed and bends down in front of her.

“Look at me. Please…love…” Yuju can feel her eyes starts pooling with tears when Sowon grabs her nape gently to her direction and the melancholic sound of Sowon’s voice when she said the word love.

“I’m sorry that I took so long. I’m sorry that I ignore my feelings. I’m sorry that I refused to look at you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. But I’ll never be sorry for loving you. I love you, love…” Yuju’s pooling eyes finally streaming down nonstop. Sowon who saw the girl she loves cry just hurts her more. But she doesn’t realise that her tears also streaming down on her cheeks when she started pouring her hearts to Yuju.

“I’ve been waiting for this. I can’t even count for how long. I admit its tiring, not the part of loving you, but the part of wondering whether you feel the same for me or not. No one knows my struggle. When I knew I fell for a girl, I was so scared. I don’t know what to do because I’m still young and never had experience such feeling. I don’t have anyone to turn too so I did what I think is the best that moment. Get closer to other people. I found myself lots of friends among male idol and I also tried to associate with female idol from other groups. I just thought maybe we spend too much time together and you’re just really good at taking care of me that might makes me vulnerable. But I guess it didn’t work out well as I thought to be. I really am in love with you.” Sowon feels happy and sad at the moment. Sad because she didn’t saw how Yuju was struggling hard with her feeling and happy because finally they knew that what they feel are mutual. She kisses both of Yuju’s hands and stares lovingly at her.

“I’m sorry once again that although I’m worried about you all the time and always taking care of you, but I never saw the struggle you faced all alone this whole time. I’m sorry love… I love you. I love you. I love you.” With each words of love came out from , Sowon was getting closer to Yuju’s face. She searches for the permission in the eyes that she loves and she gets it. She leans more and captures Yuju’s lips in a bittersweet kiss that speaks how much they love each other and the hurt they endure during the process of acknowledging the feeling. Sowon didn’t want to let go of Yuju’s lips so she pulls her closer and deepen the kiss, pouring her heart out and hoping it could also cure the pain in Yuju’s heart. They only let go of each other when they heard the door being open.

“Ooppsss… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys…err…what you were doing. The girls just worried that you two might avoid each other again but I guess you did more…than…talking… Excuse myself! You can continue.” Yuju’s face was blushing the whole time Yerin speed talking and she didn’t miss the older girl smirks at the end. When the door shuts down, Sowon and Yuju stare shyly at each other.

“Be my one and only love, forever?” Sowon stares directly at Yuju’s eyes while caressing her cheek that melts her heart. Yuju smiles beautifully at Sowon that she thought she could be blind with how dazzling the smile is to her eyes.

“You don’t have to ask twice. Just look at me, and only me.” Yuju whispers her words dangerously close to Sowon’s ear that makes her shiver.

“Why I want to look at other person when I have my beautiful love in my arms.” Sowon whisper back sweetly at Yuju and kiss her expose collarbone. Yuju playfully push Sowon’s shoulder.

“Don’t do that.” Yuju cutely scolds Sowon.

“Why? Are you feeling hot?” Sowon teases the already red face Yuju.

“Yah! Why would I…” Yuju was abruptly stops by Sowon lips. She kisses her hard and her hand sneakily peaks under Yuju’s shirt to touch the girl’s abs. She feels her abs tighten at the contact and makes the younger girl gasp. Sowon take advantage of the situation to slide her tongue in the sweet cavern and she heard the melodious moan from the main vocal that makes her smile inwardly. After a few minutes of intense make out session, Sowon reluctantly pulls away from Yuju. She saw that Yuju’s face was so flush and she bet hers was too.

“Your lips are so ing addicting. I just can’t help it.” Sowon winks at Yuju and she just rolls her eyes at her lover action.

“Control yourself a bit. No PDA around the others. We’ve still got two minors in the house.” Sowon pouts cutely.

“But I want to kiss you whenever and where ever I want to.” Yuju shakes her head.

“We’ve got each other love now. But we must remember there are still people hurting in this house because of our love.” Yuju explains in concern.

“Because of you. I feel sorry for Eunha and…” Sowon stops her words when she remembers it.

“And?” Yuju curiously lifts up her eyebrow.

“Never mind. Okay. I’ll try holding myself in.” Sowon forcefully pulls a sweet smile and hugs Yuju. She doesn’t want Yuju to know and I don’t need Yuju to know now that we’re together.

When Sowon and Yuju comes out from the room while holding hands, all of their members were clapping hands excitedly and Yerin started teases them unendingly about previous awkward encounter. They were all happy for them but Yuju never miss the hurt look on Eunha’s eyes and Sowon couldn’t ignore the pain look on Sinb’s eyes.

Sowon use to think that she could be wrong, but when the main dancer unintentionally shows her vulnerable side while practically threatens Sowon to not hurt Yuju anymore, that’s when she confirms it. The main dancer is in love with the main vocal. A love that will stay hidden. A love that Yuju doesn’t need to know. A love that once again, will never be repay.

                                                                                                                         ***

Sinb is dancing alone in the practice room. She dances much harder when the beats become faster. She needs this. She needs to feel tired. She needs to numb her heart. She doesn’t want to cry. She needs to be strong.

“You can cry all you want. There’s no one here but me. You can always trust me. You know that, right?” Sinb was stunted by the sudden presence of another person in the room. She stops the music and search the source of the voice. It was Yerin. She calmly stands by the speaker while handing a bottle of mineral water to Sinb. Sinb gratefully take it from Yerin.

“What are you doing here?” Sinb takes a sip from the mineral bottle.

“I thought you might need some company. So, here I am. Besides, aren’t we on the same situation? We got to stick together.” They took seat beside each other on the floor.

“For now. The difference is, you might still have a chance with Eunha unnie. You just need to be there for her, wait for her broken heart to be heal patiently, and show the love she deserve that you can give. I’m the only pathetic one. They’re so in love with each other and very happy right now. There’s nothing that can make me more happy than seeing the girl I love happy.” Sinb smiles bitterly. She tried not being bitter or shedding any tears and just remembering the beautiful smile on the main vocalist face.

“You’re kind of helped them to be together, you know. You were there when Yuju felt helpless and said to her that she was wrong about Sowon unnie and Eunha. And I also know that you ‘sweetly’ threatened Sowon unnie to confess to Yuju and never break her heart again. You have a good heart, Sinb. I’m proud of you.” Yerin lovingly pats Sinb’s head.

“I love Yuju, so much that although it hurts, I’m trying to be fine. Well, older and wiser people said if you really love someone, their happiness will be your priority even though it’s not with you. She’s been miserably in love with Sowon unnie for so long. I saw all of her vulnerable side when she doesn’t aware of it. I don’t think she even acknowledge herself being hurt while loving someone. She’s an angel. Now, she’s able to genuinely smile again. God knows how beautiful Yuju is when she smiles. So, I’m going to be fine.” Sinb doesn’t realise that tears trickling down her face but her lips form a sweet smile when talking about Yuju. Yerin smiles sympathetically while holding the younger girl’s hand.

“Damn. You’re really crazy in love with Yuju. You fall for her hard. Don’t you ever regret? Falling for her?”

“I’ve regretted many choices in my whole life but falling for her and hurting because of her, it’s something I’ll never regret. You will always got hurt when in love, it just the matter of the worth of hurting because of that person. Yuju is really worth it. She’s the right person to be in love with. I’m not going to try to forget her. If it’s destined that I’m going to be in love with her for the rest of my life, then so be it. I don’t even want to fall for another person when I know there’s always going to be Yuju’s name in every corner of my heart.”

“You will be a great lover for Yuju. I can’t believe I said this, but you will.”

“You’re right. But I also know how much Sowon unnie loves Yuju. She loves Yuju just as much Yuju loves her. I might be in love with Yuju much more than her, but her love is enough. They can’t live without each other now. I’m going to protect their love.” Yerin can sense the determination in Sinb’s tone.

“With what? Your love? You’re unbelievable you know.” Yerin scoff playfully.

“I know. If this is I before Yuju happened to me, I would think this is totally crazy. But now, it makes sense to me. I will protect Yuju and Sowon unnie relationship because I love Yuju so much. I want her to be happy forever. Eternal smiles on an angel face for the rest of her life. Who knows, she might be my angel when we meet again in heaven. When that time comes, I’ll never let go of her even though there’s thousands of Sowon unnie.” Yerin is fascinated by Sinb’s speeches.

“You’ve got my full respect, Sinb. I don’t think I can ever do that for Eunha. Maybe my love wasn’t great enough or it’s just myself who doesn’t strong enough.” Yerin looks down on her lap ashamedly and defeated.

“You can. Look at how you smile when she smiles while looking at Yuju. You didn’t care who makes her smiles as long as she’s happy. You’re incredible too.” Sinb puts one arm around Yerin’s shoulder, bringing the older girl closer to her.

“Nah…we’re just pathetically in love with the great vocal line, who doesn’t love us back.” Yerin is leaning closer to Sinb’s body, seeking comfort from the younger girl.

“They are worth hurting for.” Yerin smiles a little, agreeing wholeheartedly with Sinb. Yuju and Eunha are really worth hurting for. They will continue loving them sincerely without asking any returns because a smile on the vocal line faces, it brings a thousand smiles on Sinb and Yerin face.