Sehun was not having the best day. In the past, he has overslept, has not had enough time to shower or eat—whether from oversleeping or overstudying or overgaming—and has been unable to find clean clothes that weren't holey sweatpants and a high school dance team T-shirt. He has also gone to the wrong classroom at the right time, has been called out by professors who remember him the day of a test because he never showed up for the lectures, and has gotten rather awkward visits from other students on his floor returning some article—usually underwear, although he's certain someone's keeping his socks hostage—that fell out of his laundry. That's not as bad as returning to his room to them hanging from the doorknob, which happened more often than some Good Samaritan returning them in person.

Never has everything happened the same day.

After his test, he's red-faced and just about ran out of the hall holding his ratty old sweatpants up with a fist in his pocket, because the drawstring was long gone, and bumped into some poor freshman who dropped her coffee all over her white sandals. He's bowing and apologising and just about cried with her but made it back to his dorm dry-eyed and tore the bright orange Garfield boxer shorts from the doorknob to jam his key inside and throw the door open.

Zitao, his roommate, jumped and spun around with his shirt balled up in his hands over his chest. He sighed when he saw it was only Sehun and pulled his shirt on. It was leopard print; he must have a date, Sehun mused with silent bitterness. "What's with you?"

"Nothing." Sehun swung his backpack off his shoulder and bumped the door closed. "I don't wanna talk about it." His petulance drew Zitao's attention, because between the two of them, only Zitao's petulance was acceptable to Zitao. Anyone out-bratting him was just not acceptable.

"Bad day? Well," Zitao chirped, "it could be worse—"

"Stop trying to cheer me up!" Sehun pitched forward onto his bed and dragged the blankets over his head. He was more than content to sulk the rest of the day and throughout he weekend. Zitao snorted, tossed a pillow at his , and grabbed his wallet and phone on his way to the door.

"I'm going to Kyungsoo's. When I get back, I hope you're done feeling sorry for yourself."

Sehun stayed where he was until he heard the door shut with a click and threw the blankets back.

He was content to sulk, but he didn't want to sulk alone.

"Stupid Zitao." In all honesty, he kind of looked forward to being coddled by his roommate. They had a tradition of ordering fried foods and pooling all their snacks on the particularly y days. Since focusing his attention on an upperclassman, Zitao just didn't have as much time to commiserate with Sehun.

"Stupid Kyungsoo..." He kicked his blankets off and slipped his arms under his pillow to cradle his head. So early, it was blessedly quiet in the dorm. Once classes were over for the day, the weekend would officially start. Maybe he could drown his humiliation and negativity about his college experiences in one of the frat houses. It was always nice to have something to look forward to and know he'd forget it come the following school week.





He fell asleep at some point and woke when it was dark. A sock covered his clock, and his phone was dead, but something woke him up, and it wasn't his bladder for once. Going to bed in a tantrum prevented him from drinking three bottles of soda, like he usually did while trying to overpower his feelings with a sugar rush.

Rolling onto his back, he lifted the clock sock and squinted at the glaring red numbers. After ten. Distantly, he could catch some shouts and bass from some party nearby.

He felt awful and disgusting. He should get out of bed and get his laundry together, but he didn't have the energy when Zitao's closet was open and filled with clean clothes he probably wouldn't miss for a day or two.

The hallway's relatively quiet when Sehun looked out with clean clothes and a caddy bag of toiletries. A few lights were burnt out, which Sehun empathised with.

He locked his door and shuffled to the bathroom. No one else was showering, although the RA was leaning over a sink and drawing a razor up his neck and jaw in even . "Hey, Sehun," he greeted with awkwardly pouted lips. "How'd your test go?"

Sehun grunted and hoped it conveyed his feelings adequately. The RA hummed sagely in return.

Having the showers to himself, Sehun felt no shame in tucking his phone into the clutch of clothing and singing along to whatever came on his playlist. He felt a bit better, even, once the grime of the day rinsed off and got down the floor drain and he made it through an intense rap without tripping over his own tongue.

Towel over his shoulders, he turned the volume on his phone down but let it continue playing for the short walk back to his room. A couple of upperclassmen—his neighbour, Baekhyun, and someone Sehun recognised in passing—bumped into him roughly but apologised with giggles and pink cheeks. Baekhyun had a little trouble unlocking his door with the other guy draped over his back and pushing him against it, but they made it, and the door slammed behind them.

Best college investment: noise cancelling headphones.

He dropped his clothes on the pile covering where his pop-up hamper once stood but had recently been overwhelmed and lost all structural integrity. It was sad and became more inconvenient every day, so once he had his headphones on and playlist reshuffled, Sehun stuffed the hamper properly and found a large trashbag for everything else. The recovered floorspace was incredible. In a surge of inspiration, he sat detergent and dryer sheets right on top of his laundry to remind him to take care of it right away in the morning.

All of the sudden, the hairs on his arms raised and stood like the fur on the back of an upset cat. Goosebumps jumped up his arms and down his legs, leaving an unpleasant tingling sensation. Maybe he'd felt something.

Cautiously pulling the headphones off, Sehun stood still and listened. The room next door was pretty quiet except for the occasional giggle, and nothing fell, nobody shouted, the floorboards didn't creak. The goosebumps didn't go away, though.

He jumped when he heard something. It was close, but it sounded like it was outside. A bird might have thought it could hold onto the brick exterior and flapped its wings to catch itself.

Sehun looked to his window and heard the sound again. He turned his head a bit and, sure enough, the sound was coming from outside, right near his window.

At first, he was scared. He was petrified. Then he remembered he was almost a grownass man and could defend himself and his property.

He could scream, at least.

Pulling the curtain back with a finger, he leaned back against the wall and peered out. Everything was quiet, dark, and unmoving. A few people ran across the lawn farther down the line of dorms, but up close was still. Maybe he imagined it. The tree branches shifted a little in the breeze; one probably nudged the wall and dragged against the brick.

He was almost ready to go back to bed, but something started to move. It wasn't the trees or even on the lawn; it was on the wall itself.

Sehun pulled the curtain aside and pushed the window open. It was surprisingly silent with party music sounding far off and muffled, yet Sehun's quiet observations went unnoticed until he spoke, surprisingly calm.

"A bit far from Queens, aren't you, Spider-man?"

Whoever was climbing the dorm looked up sharply, and Sehun almost blushed. The sky was cloudless, allowing the full moon to illuminate as much as it could in silver and white and revealing a handsome face—that Sehun could see under the plastic superhero mask—that looked just as suprised as Sehun.

". Um... Hi."

"Hi there." Sehun sat on the small ledge of his window. "Nice night for a climb."

"I-I thought so." He shifted his grip on the wall. Sehun couldn't see any sort of climbing equipment. "I thought it'd be a good time to be out. Fresh air."

"Fresher up higher, right?"

"Exactly!"

"You climb here often?"

"Admittedly not, but I would've," he added quickly, "if I'd known you were here."

Sehun didn't blush. He might have grinned a little bit, but he did not blush or giggle. "What's with the mask?"

"Don't you know the purpose of a mask? Conceal identity? No? Besides," he shrugged, "I'm Spider-man, not Dr Octavius. Hey!" He dodged Sehun's reach. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"You won't die from this height, you big baby."

"It'll still hurt," he whined. "I'm not into that scene."

Sehun lunged, missed, and snagged his shoulder before he lost his balance completely. He got a whiff of alcohol, vodka and something sweet.

"H-Hey. So, um, I know we've not known each other for very long, but can I come in?"

Sehun thought a moment, just to make him wait, and moved away from the window in silent invitation.

As the stranger hauled himself up, Sehun grabbed the mask and pulled it over his head, catching the hair on the back of his head and making it stand up like a duck's tail.

"That's playing dirty." He tumbled over the window's edge and landed somewhat gracefully in a semi-crouch. His skin glowed a soft bronze in the light, contrasting bleached hair and dark eyes. Sehun recognised him.

"You're the eighthman, aren't you?" Kim Jongin.

"Yeah." Jongin hiccuped and dropped his backpack—whatever was inside clattered suspiciously—from his shoulders and sat cross-legged on the floor. "Sorry 'bout this," he yawned. "I thought I had the right room."

"Which room is the right room?"

"What one is this?"

"Mine."

Jongin shook his head. "Then it's not the right room."

Sehun rolled his eyes. So much for his day improving, now he had to deal with a drunk burglar jock. "Yeah, but like, what number did you want?"

He squinted at nothing, thinking hard. "Three...fifteen?"

"Baekhyun hyung?" He was nice, and he had nothing worth breaking in for, as far as Sehun knew. He was just as broke and sleeplessly miserable as the rest of the students.

"My ex."

Sehun nodded. That implied a new motive for the ambitious climb. He hitched a thumb over his shoulder. "He lives next door. What were you going to do?"

"Nothin'... You wanna see?" Jongin reached behind him with some difficulty, spun to try and find his backpack, and tore it open slowly. Zipper pulls were hard. Inside, stacks of red plastic cups and some dozens of water bottles sat innocently. "He's a thirsty , y'know."

Sehun could interpret the comment a couple ways, remembering earlier, but he ignored it, instead, and asked, "What were you going to do with all this?"

"Cover the floor with cups of water while he slept."

"Oh, that is just mean." And evil. Sehun liked it.

Jongin shrugged. "I felt like being a little mean."

"Was it that bad? Your breakup, I mean."

"It felt like it at the time, but maybe it was just me." He looked sad. A hiccup away from crying, and Sehun did not do crying.

He shrugged. "I've never heard of a good breakup, honestly." He closed the window. Jongin could leave through the door like a normal human being, in his opinion, especially if he's completely smashed enough to scale a building.

The drunk hummed looked around the room, sadness momentarily forgotten. Sehun and Zitao both pinned posters to their walls. Action movie posters, pretty models, a kitten clinging to a tree branch with HANG IN THERE in inspiring white font. They shared a bookshelf between their beds, overflowing with movies and video games and manga. Jongin pointed to a shelf with a smile. "I love that series! I'm behind, unfortunately, because of practice." He pouted and looked so put out that Sehun offered to let him borrow the books whenever he wanted and deftly ignored the flipping in his stomach when Jongin beamed. "Really? That's so nice!" Looking at Sehun's desk, he stood on his knees and shuffled closer to look at the framed photographs. "Aww! What a cute puppy! Whose puppy is this?"

"She's mine. Her name's Vivi." His mother was looking after Vivi and told Sehun how close she was to taking the little dog to the pound, because Vivi just would not listen.

"She is so pretty," Jongin marvelled. He stacked his hands on the edge of the desktop and rested his chin on them, staring quietly at the photograph. Sitting on his feet, he looked like a child standing patiently beside their father's desk. It was cute. Jongin was never so cute on the field, at least during the games Sehun watched, and Sehun wondered in the back of his mind if alcohol revealed this hidden, childish cuteness or if it just drew it out.

"I have three puppies," Jongin mumbled against the back of his hand. "You wanna see?" He turned around and fought with himself for a little bit, trying to work out how to reach his back back. "They're my babies. I love my babies. Their grandma's watching them, but they know Daddy loves them lots." He finally retrieved his phone and automatically unlocked it. "See? My babies." His wallpaper was a trio of curly haired poodles all leaning towards the camera.

"They're very cute." His Vivi was cuter, of course.

Jongin grinned at his phone. "Yeah. I miss them, but they're not allowed here, which I think is kinda discrim'natory." He set his phone on the floor, distracted by the zippers on his backpack.

Sehun tossed a cup in the air and caught it. He had no beef with Baekhyun, but if he was the kind of guy to drive a sweet kid like Jongin to drink, then there had to be some kind of retribution. "You want some help?"

Jongin looked shocked and clueless for a moment, then a grin slowly blossomed. It almost looked evil.

Nerves bubbled like carbonation in Sehun's gut as he opened his door and propped it open with a bag of laundry. He shushed Jongin more than once, fanning his hand to get him to quiet down. It wasn't that long Baekhyun and company were getting frisky next door, but they could still be quietly awake. He hadn't heard anyone leave, so the company must be the cuddly sort.

Rather than break in and recarpet the floor with plastic cups of water, Sehun suggested stacking them just outside the door. They all swing inwards, and who really looked out before walking, especially after an exhausting evening of throwing a hotdog down the alley? It'd be perfect.

He was actually a little excited for the morning.





Sehun rolled over and flinched when something weird poked his nose. He gagged when he opened his eyes and saw feet.

Jongin was on his bed, lying facedown with an arm trailing to the floor. His shirt's gone, skin glowing gold in the warm morning sunbeam angling in from the curtains Sehun forgot to close.

Sehun rubbed his face, disbelieving that everything that happened wasn't just a bizarre dream. Did he really find a guy climbing up the wall of his dorm and let him into his room? Yes. Was the guy totally drunk off his ? Yes. Was the guy a super cute athlete and made Sehun's heart flip around and stomach butterflies puke with attraction? Yes. Did he actually help the guy fill plastic cups with water and stack them nearly floor-to-ceiling in his neighbour's doorway?

He looked to the shared wall when he noticed a sleepy yawn. He'd been in Baekhyun's room before—when Sehun had found a very very big moth in the bathroom and couldn't bear to battle it alone, so he recruited Baekhyun and his roommate Chanyeol—and their beds were both pushed against the same shared wall. Baekhyun's mattress creaked; the frame knocked against the wall slightly as he scooted out of bed. There's another yawn, more drawn out, and Sehun could imagine his neighbour shuffling in his pajamas, grabbing a washcloth and his toothbrush to head to the bathroom down the hall.

It's so quiet that Sehun heard the click of the door lock and swish of the door over the shallow-pile rug as it was opened, and he held his breath.

Jongin breathed deeply and sighed in his sleep, rolling over and dropping and arm over Sehun's knees.

Birds sang outside; students called sleepily to each other about painkillers or to make sure it was still the weekend; Sehun scratched his chest under his shirt and waited.

Plastic clattered against one another and to the linoleum and carpet with a cacophonous noise punctuated by a sharp "Waaaaaaaeeee!?" .

Jongin flinched and sat upright sharply, looking around the room through barely-open eyes. His hair stood up in soft spikes; his face and lips were puffy with sleep. He squinted at Sehun. "Wuzzat?"

"That," Sehun said with a growing grin, "is the sweet sound of revenge."

Jongin blinked once, twice, and suddenly both boys sprinted to the door and joined the curious, primarily hungover group in the hall.

The company stood in a spattered puddle, shaking his arms and dripping water everywhere, looking just like a cat that got stuck in a rainstorm.

It was the wrong target—maybe—but it was still funny. Red cups littered the hall, and the puddles soaking into the floor could be anything. Looking at it from down the hall, a huge party could have literally overflowed from the room and crashed into the hall.

"Jongdae?" Baekhyun stood behind the company, Jongdae, taking in the mess with a perplexed pout. He looked at the dissipating crowd and frowned when he saw Jongin hanging on Sehun. A deeper frown tugged the corners of his mouth, and the boys snorted.

Sehun bit back a laugh, but feeling the weight of Jongin against his back, they burst into giggles. Jongin hit when laughing, striking Sehun's shoulders, and Sehun shoved him back into his dorm room before they both completely gave themselves away with their shrieks of mirth.

"Run!" Sehun pushed Jongin, and they tripped over each other to return to Sehun's dorm. The door slammed on Baekhyun's shout.

Jongin grabbed his backpack and a shirt and shoved the window open. Sehun locked his door, stuffed his feet into some sneakers and phone in his pocket, looped his lanyard of keys over his neck, and followed Jongin outside.

Baekhyun peered out the window of his own room, phone to his ear. The window opened with a creak. "What the hell are you doing?!" Jongin paused, eyes wide, and looked back at Sehun. Something passed between them, wordless, and Jongin dropped from the ledge, rolled, and popped up onto his feet. "Kim Jongin! Get back here and clean this up! I know it was you!" He huffed and focused his glare at Sehun. "Don't you dare—"

Sehun followed Jongin's course, landing roughly but catching up so they could run together across the green and escape into the throng of the breakfast-bound students awake and sober enough to function.

They slow down to an easy walk, limping a little on Sehun's part, and Jongin passed him his backpack to tug the shirt on. It's Sehun's, worn to almost sheer softness.

"Oh, this isn't mine."

"It's fine," Sehun said. It's too small for his shoulders anymore. It also just looked nicer on him, somehow. Although they're close to the same height, Sehun just noticed Jongin was a bit slighter than him. "You think he's going to hunt you down?"

Jongin shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. Give it a bit, and he'll probably just want an apology, which," he shrugged again, "I'll probably give, since that water wall was meant for him, not Jongdae hyung."

"Is that who the other guy was? I couldn't think of his name."

"He's on the same team as me." He looked at his feet. "Actually was the one to introduce us."

Sehun groaned.

"Yeah, so.... Yeah." Jongin squinted at the sky with a grimace. "Are you hungry? I'm starving, and my brain is trying to punch my eyeballs out of my skull." He drank one of the bottles of water they didn't use last night, but it could only do so much against whatever he'd had that fortified his nerves to go through with the prank to begin with.

"I could go for, like, a tray of omelettes," Sehun admitted. "I don't remember the last time I actually all-out ran."

"Really? You ran good. Kept up with me, at least."

"I felt a near and present danger." Sehun nodded. "It was a good motivator."

"Baek hyung's more bark than bite, anyway." Jongin dropped onto the grass outside the cafeteria. "Not to be a mooch or anything, but you have money? I think my phone's back in your room."

He's about to say not to worry, but Jongin combed his hair to semi-neatness and said, "I'll take you out sometime, as a thank you." His cheeks were pink.

Sehun grinned at a lamp post but nudged Jongin's leg with his foot. "I'll hold you to that."





Zitao returned to his room and had to sidestep a largescale cleanup of plastic cups. Paper towels covered the carpet, dark with dampness, and one of the hyungs next door was nearly shouting.

Inside, his roommate's laundry was stuffed and piled somewhat neatly just inside the door. His bed was unmade, blankets trailed on the floor, the window stood open, and a phone on the desk buzzed incessantly next to a Halloween mask. Zitao woke it up, eyebrows rising at the double-digits of both missed calls and texts.

"What the hell happened while I was gone?"
 

---

a/n: The title is from a book of essays called Heretics by G.K. Chesterton. "Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable." Words to live by, really, because alcohol is a depressant. Written for the exouniversity fest. original prompt: #50 Kai broke into Sehun's dorm room drunk thinking it was his ex's room and Sehun find it somehow funny how the college's jock being cute-drunk.