They say first love is something that you would never forget because it leaves a huge impact. I used to not believe in that until the day I saw my uncle in the old folks home. He was diagnosed with dementia a few years after my aunt passed away. We would visit him regularly and he often mistook me as my mum and many of our relatives had said that I look exactly like her in her twenties. He would talk about his first love back in his hometown but he does not remember being married my aunt who is someone who is his wife and someone he had loved deeply after his first love.

He is able to remember each and every detail about his first love. From the day they first met to the dates that they went to and even the clothes that she wore on their dates. He would ask us if we had found her and when will she visit her. I often tell my mother that this is like a sad love story looking from my aunt’s point of view but my parents said that it is better that he could not remember the passing of my aunt. They said that nothing is worse that being able to remember that someone that you love so deeply is not longer there with you especially at a time like this where the only one that you can depend on is your wife or husband.

In my case, my first love was him and like any cliché love story, it was a one-sided love.

We were in our first year of university when we met each other. We happen to have same classes together and also joined the same club. To him, I was the quiet girl in class and to me, he was just another classmate. We knew each other as we have a few common friends but we never got to talk with each other. Somehow our relationship became awkward. He is no longer just a classmate but just an acquaintance that I happen to see on a daily basis

There were times where we were left alone with each other while waiting for the others to end their lectures but we did not talk. I am an introvert and starting small talks with new people was never easy for me. The girls always said that we are so awkward that they would never want to experience being in the same project group as the both of us. I could only laugh and admit that I am an awkward person.

It was when we were in our second year where we finally talked to each other and it was because we were selected to be paired up for our elective project. It was so awkward that I could not sit still and because the lecturer had banned the use of phones in his classes, there was no escape for this awkward situation.  

“uh… this is so awkward... “ I finally realised that I never got a good look at him as most of the time I would be talking to the girls while he would be with the guys. I never really notice the mole above his eyes and his side profile.  

“we never got to really introduce ourselves to each other the proper way. Kim Jaein right? My name is Im Jaebum by the way.”

“Yeah I know, we see each other quite frequently for a year. Your friends call you JB.”

“I know we never really got to know each other but I hope that this time, we will get to know each other better. I know that the guys had been saying that we were so awkward.”

“same too. The girls had been saying that I could even get along with Mark but we are still awkward.”