“Do you hear any voices?”
“No.”
Lies.

“I'll be normal.
Be strong.
Be free.
Be... me.”
Dreams.

“I miss them.”
Reality.

I have no idea how many times they asked the same question but the answer was always the same and far away from the truth.

“Do you hear any voices?”

“No.”

But I did. Every day. I forced them to be here to fill a gap that kept on bothering me for years. They were saying nice things, were there for me when I needed them the most in order to keep on going. They motivated me and and comforted me when everyone else was against me and breaking my heart over and over again. They fixed it. Several times. Again and again.

Maybe I was crazy for letting it happen and kind of depend on the voices' support but what else could I have done? I was lonely and needed company, craved for affection and someone who understood condition-less.

I have to move on now though and learn how to deal with reality on my own. Without their help, now matter how hard it is. I'll try to laugh and be happy without them, try to stop the tears and to talk to others who are real and not just voices inside of my head.

I'll be normal.

Be strong.

Be free.

Be... me.

I stared at the page covered with those words and couldn't stop my lips from forming a smile, the first sincere one since I could remember and I felt... relieved. As if a huge weight had been lifted from my chest and let me take a deep breath which I desperately needed already. I could finally be free and be a normal person with a healthier mind than before who could start to fight loneliness.

Just as I folded the sheet of paper, there was a knock on my door and my best friend's head appeared through the gap after opening the door. “Hey Wonwoo, do you- woah what happened Your smile.. it's..” he said and I could tell that he was surprised to see me like that. He must have been used to all my fake smiles and grins and didn't expect a smile like this one, one that showed happiness and hope instead of uncertainty and other negative emotions. “Yeah, I know. It's weird, isn't it? To see me like this and being.. happy.” I said and looked down, hiding that a single tear ran down my cheek. It wasn't because I was sad, not this time. This moment was too special to feel down or something similar to that.

I could finally be a good friend and actually talk to him instead of turning towards the voices and wondering what the people around me might do. Confronting them for real was the better option compared to anything those voices said. They were somehow just another part of me after all. A product of my imagination and sadness. “No, it's not- well it's unusual to see you smiling like that but that smile is.. nice.. I like it. You should do that more often, trust me. Everyone would like to see you being happy, hyung.” My friend said and I released a chuckle. It didn't sound bitter or fake anymore, it was real. “I'll try, Mingyu.. I'll really try. It feels good not having to pretend anymore. Thank you for staying until I realized. I.. maybe I wouldn't have gotten that far without you.” I went over to wrap my arms around him, hugging him and closing my eyes to fully enjoy being close to my best friend. My lifeline and savior.

Maybe I would have ended everything if he weren't by my side all this time.

But he was and will always be.

Weeks passed and I was slowly getting better, opening up to others and showing my real colors along with talents that I didn't know about. Who would have thought that I could paint and draw that well? Some people were finally appreciating my work and actually listened to what I had to say.

Most of the time.

But nothing lasts forever, right?

After a while, I started to miss those voices again because there were things that no one else was allowed to hear. Things that only parts of me would understand. Not even Mingyu knew about them but he noticed that something was off again, so he wordlessly entered my room one day and dragged me from my chair to my bed before pushing me down and sitting down on it next to me. “Spill.” was all he said with a serious and worried expression that made me tear up and bury my face in my hands, soft sobs filling the usually quiet room before I whisper. “They are gone but... I miss them, Mingyu.. I miss those voices.” There were no words coming from the other who simply hugged me.