“When did you fall in love with him?” Chan asked.
Junghan was sitting in his favorite chair with his same old ratted blanket on his lap, squinting as he tried to read a book. He furrowed his brows at the question, turning his attention to Chan. “What was that Channie?”
“Dad. When did you two fall in love?” Junghan’s gaze dropped down to his lap, closing his book but keeping a wrinkled finger on the page and settling it on his lap.
“Oh... It was quite awhile ago. I can’t remember how long it’s been, you know I’m horrible at math, Chan. But, I do remember the day we met. I remember it quite vividly, actually - I think back to it frequently.” He slid a bookmark in the book, clasping his hands together and looking up, a hint of a smile on his lips as he undoubtedly thought back all those years.
Chan’s phone buzzed beside him, but it went unnoticed.
“Your father and I met back in college. I had been harboring the biggest crush on him, oh you would’ve laughed if you’d seen how love struck I was over him. We’d shared a few classes together but never spoke. He was all I could think about and quite frankly it was ridiculous.
“I worked at the coffee place on campus when he came in one day, ordered a coffee and apparently I forgot how to speak.” Chan couldn’t help but notice how Junghan’s face lit up. His laugh had this youthfulness to it that Chan didn’t frequently see. “It was so mortifying. My best friend Joshua said he’d never seen my face so red before.” Junghan shook his head at his own embarrassment.
“But when did you fall in love with him?” Chan re-asked, curious about the actual answer.
“Chan-ah, I was in love with him before we’d even had a five minute conversation together. Seungcheol’s a charmer.” He sighed, crossing his legs and getting comfortable again in his seat. “He was actually engaged when we first talked. I Finally built up the courage to talk to him, ask him out for lunch perhaps, under the guise I needed to study. I hadn’t noticed it until that moment but the bastard had a ring on his finger!” Junghan’s cackling filled up the living room, and Chan found himself smiling a little too.
“Doyoon, that was his fiance’s name. He was a model, had aspirations to go big. Y’ever heard of him?” Junghan asked, looking him dead in the eye.
“No umma, I haven’t… but wouldn’t that have been years - no, decades ago?”
Junghan resisted the urge to ruffle his adopted son’s hair. “You’re right, but he also never became anything. I guess he moved away for better opportunities and shoot if I ever gave a about him again. Never heard about him again though, if that says anything.” He howled with laughter.
“So then how did you two get married?”
“From when I talked to him, Seungcheol and I had actually made plans to meet up and study. It just so happened to coincide with Doyoon’s sudden upheaval and moving, and Seungcheol was heartbroken. Devastated. And I don’t blame him, his fiance just up and left - but I don’t feel bad one bit for Doyoon because he lost something amazing when he decided to choose himself.
“He was hurt, and broken, understandably so. You’re old enough now that I don’t really feel guilty telling you that we basically spent the night getting high and drunk. It’s too bad I don’t remember what happened, I just know that whatever it was, it was hilarious.
“From then on out we hit it off pretty well. Decided to get hitched a couple months after that, moved in together and after almost a decade of rejection from adoption agencies because we were gay, a miracle happened and we got to adopt you.”
Chan smiled, knowing that he grew up adopted, but he was so glad that he was able to be raised in such a wonderful home. Sometimes he got hate for being raised by two men, but he turned out just fine.
He didn’t remember Seungcheol very much, just the pictures of them two together. They were old and folded, the camera wasn’t the best but somehow the quality was enough that you could imagine yourself there. On the mantle of the fireplace was their last family picture taken together, when Chan was five. They were all dressed nice but tired after standing and smiling for hours, so they had that ‘stick-up-the-’ kinda look. In the kitchen was the picture of Junghan when he and Seungcheol got married in the United States. Most of the pictures that included Chan were in a photobook in Chan’s room. These were the more personal pictures.
Included were those like when Chan was having his first birthday and Seungcheol was holding him in just a diaper, with the stupidest grin on his face - it made envisioning him a little easier when Junghan always referred to him as a dork. Another of them outside when Chan was a little older and hanging onto a tree branch, sitting on top of Seungcheol’s shoulders. Chan was a bright and happy child, he really did have a wonderful childhood.
He knows that when he was alive he was an amazing parent, but he curses the fact that the early years of life are too easily forgotten.
He’s thankful he has Junghan to relive the years with Seungcheol that he missed.
He wonders what Seungcheol would think of his degree in biomedical engineering, and if he would have tried to persuade him to have done something different. Or perhaps what his thoughts would be on the charity he started to help stop drunk driving, to prevent other children from losing their dads too soon.
“Do you think dad would be proud of me?”
Junghan’s face grew soft. “There wasn’t a day that went by that your father wasn’t proud of you. I could see it in his eyes every single day that he loved you with every ounce in his body. I know he’s proud of you.”