Word count- little more than 6K.

I guess this story will give you a life lesson ;)

Enjoy

May be it’s just Haowen is too little to understand the depths of the adult life. After all he is just six and started schooling a few months ago. What does he know? Sure he has learnt to write his name, some letters and he can count to ten, but other than that he doesn’t know much. And his Papa knows the best for him. He is smart and tall and knows what to do all the time. Papa is Haowen’s hero. Doesn’t Haowen want to be like his Papa one day? Smart and tall, doing the right thing all the time.

But for his little heart, it feels like may be Papa is just wrong this time.

But then again what does he know? It’s adults’ business. It’s not like his Papa would listen to him anyway. He would have listened to Haowen if they were still the little happy family like they were some time ago. Haowen doesn’t remember a lot but he still remembers how much they laughed with Mama, Papa placing him around his neck so that Haowen can play aero plane.

But now it is just like a picture painted in his little mind, precious albeit uncompleted.

Haowen doesn’t know what happened exactly but one day Papa came to take him from garndma’s home, his face so sad but so white like snow-white’s. And there were tears on Papa’s cheeks. Haowen had never seen Papa cry, and it was the only one time Papa ever cried. Mama went to see her best friend because she was bringing a baby that day and though Haowen wanted to go with Mama, she said that later they could. Although it should have been Mama who should fetch him, it was Papa who came.  Papa didn’t say anything. Although he didn’t know why his grandma had tears in her eyes, Haowen wanted to cry because he could feel that something is really very wrong. And then Haowen was taken to a big building. Haowen just started to read and he could only read H, S, P and L. But by seeing a lot of doctors walking around, Haowen knew it’s where they go when they are sick, a hospital. Haowen didn’t like hospitals or doctor but it was fine because Papa who didn’t say anything at all until they came here, told him that they are going to see Mama. Then Haowen wondered, is Mama sick?

Haowen didn’t like it one bit. In a white room that had a very strong smell, Mama was sleeping on a bed and there was a large bandage over Mama’s head, a red patch on that. Her beautiful face had some cuts and she was sleeping. She had wires and tubes all over and a scary machines beeping. Haowen wanted her to wake up and tell him that everything is okay and the red patch doesn’t hurt. Haowen wanted her to tell him that she is coming home with them. Haowen wanted his Papa to stop crying. But Mama didn’t talk; she didn’t open her eyes and smile at Haowen.

Somewhere in his pictures in his mind, Haowen remembers they all wearing black, Papa looking at Mama’s large photo, the one she was smiling brightly. Papa’s eyes were so red and Haowen too cried because Mama wasn’t there. And there were a lot of white carnations, lots of them. Haowen didn’t understand why everyone cried because it’s him and Papa who missed Mama, some pityingly caressing his head. Haowen didn’t know why Mama didn’t come back from the scary hospital. And Papa didn’t say where Mama was though he asked a few times. Maybe Mama is hiding somewhere? Maybe if Haowen be a good boy today and go to sleep early, Mama will be there tomorrow with her pretty smile and kind eyes, waking him up with a sweet kiss.

But Mama never came back home.

Haowen didn’t know why.

And Papa stopped playing aero plane with him. Papa didn’t laugh anymore. He still tucked Haowen to bed and kissed him good night but didn’t read bed time stories anymore.

And Haowen stopped asking Papa about Mama.

Then they passed three Christmas without Mama. Papa didn’t decorate the big tree anymore but brought Haowen a small tree. He still had gifts from Papa. But Papa always brought Haowen to his grandma and grandpa in the Christmas eve. Haowen liked it that way a little. He missed Mama and he didn’t want to be alone. Papa wasn’t smiling much even it’s Christmas. Maybe he could ask Santa to bring Mama? But if Mama is in heaven, they can’t bring her back, that’s what grandma told him.

But Haowen wished that his Papa could be happy again, smile and laugh again. He told Santa that he didn’t want anything and he wouldn’t ask for any present if that wish came true.

And then it happened.

It was just a few months ago, Papa started to smile more and more. He ruffles Haowen’s hair more with a smile in his handsome face. And then one day Papa laughed while reading something from his phone.

Haowen didn’t know how would, reading something on phone, make Papa laugh. And he didn’t know whom Papa was talking to mostly at night after he tucked Haowen to bed but he thought that it’s great that Papa is laughing again. Haowen smiled giddily thanking Santa for making his wishes come true. Soon they can be a happy family.

But then what about Mama?

May be she is coming back? No, Mama can’t come. Mama is in heaven and she can’t come back.

But Haowen decided it is nice to see his Papa laughing again. May be they can decorate the big tree for Christmas this year so Haowen can say Santa how thankful he is for making his wish true. He should wait for Santa, under the tree. Though Papa had said that Santa doesn’t want children to stay awake that late, this year, he should stay up. Because his Papa is happy again.

And Haowen was so happy that Papa started reading bed time stories again too.

But it all came crashing down sooner than he thought.

One day, Papa came home with someone else. He was little shorter than Papa and had big brown eyes like stars and a sweet smile. His voice was so soft…like Mama’s, Haowen thought. He was so pretty unlike his Papa who’s handsome. He ruffles Haowen’s hair and told Papa that Haowen is so cute.

Papa said his name is Luhan. And somewhere in Haowen’s memories, Luhan is there, dressed in black, giving his Papa a white carnation, tears in his eyes.

Papa and Luhan hyung were friends, that’s what Papa said. Haowen was shy around Luhan hyung though he was very kind and really sweet bringing him a big teddy bear plushie. But Haowen was just not used to warm up to strangers. But he thought it is not bad because Papa smiled a lot around Luhan hyung and laughed even. Haowen didn’t miss the way Luhan hyung called his Papa, he called him Sehunnie, unlike Mama who called Papa, Hun. And Papa liked when Luhan hyung called him Sehunnie.

Haowen went to bed that night, tucked by his Papa and Luhan hyung. They both read him a bed time story, Luhan hyung’s laughter jingling in the little room. And then just like that Haowen fell asleep. Then there was a pretty doll sitting on his bed and then pretty doll became a monster, trying to steal his Papa away from him. Haowen woke up scared and sobbing. He stumbled out of his room, his little feet padding the floor without a much noise, his curled fists wiping his wet eyes furiously. His feeble voice called for Papa, barely above a whisper. Papa wasn’t in his room, he wasn’t there. Haowen wanted to cry louder because did the monster take Papa away? But Papa is so strong and he can beat the monster.

And then Haowen saw them, in the living room, Papa and Luhan hyung kissing on lips. He had seen Mama and Papa kissing. And Mama told him that they only kiss the one they love a lot like that.

Haowen went back to his room, sat on his bed and brooded, his nightmare long forgotten. His Papa and Luhan hyung kissed. So does his Papa love Luhan hyung?

And day after, his best friend Yixing in school told him that Papa is going to marry Luhan hyung, “-That’s why they were kissing duh!”. He then sadly added, “My Baba doesn’t know this but Appa was sweet to me too, but after marrying my Baba, Appa doesn’t love me anymore. When Baba is home, he acts like he loves me but he doesn’t.” Yixing blinked his tears.

Haowen’s world crashed down completely. So this Luhan hyung is also going to act nice and then after getting married, he wouldn’t love Haowen either. But why would Santa do such a thing? Haowen was confused but then he thought maybe Santa chose Luhan hyung because he makes Papa laugh. And Haowen didn’t ask Santa to make him happy anyway. He just wanted his Papa to be happy.

Haowen sighed.

Just as Yixing said, one evening Papa and Luhan hyung come home together and Papa told Haowen that they were going to get married and Luhan hyung would be his daddy soon. Haowen just stared at them and nodded.

Haowen wanted to kick and scream because he didn’t want a daddy. He wanted his Mama.

But he didn’t throw a fit. Because Mama taught him it is not polite to do so. But he never talked with Luhan hyung or let him kiss his forehead because kisses are for people he loves.

Haowen wasn’t in a good mood yesterday. His Papa didn’t call him just as he promised and he fell asleep. It was the big day yesterday, Papa got married again. Haowen was there, it was a small gathering and a charm ceremony. And Luhan hyung smiled so brightly and he looked like a fairy. Maybe Haowen was wrong, Luhan hyung isn’t bad. But then why would his best friend Yixing lie?  

Haowen was determined to be like what his Papa used to be, with no smiles or laughs. Luhan is here to make Papa smile. So Haowen will let him be. If he doesn’t talk with this Luhan hyung, he won’t be sad even if Luhan hyung doesn’t love him. Haowen nodded to himself.

Luhan knew that something is not right.

Haowen was a shy kid but he not warming up to him after all those hours spent in Sehun’s home didn’t sit well with Luhan. Sehun said that it would happen eventually that Haowen was like that because he was not close with anyone since Miyoung passed away.

Luhan and Sehun were co-workers, more like Sehun was his superior in the office. But after a very short time but long work hours together, they clicked pretty well as friends. Sehun was a happy family man with a three years old son. Luhan couldn’t forget the way his eyes shined so bright whenever he talked about his little family. Luhan had met Miyoung once, while shopping with Sehun. Luhan shamelessly squealed over how cute they looked together, praising them that they were a beautiful couple. Miyoung invited Luhan for lunch with them and it didn’t take much time for Miyoung ganging up with Luhan against Sehun, teasing him. They fitted as best friends like they had known each other for years. That day Luhan parted from the couple with a promise that soon he would visit them to see their little bundle of joy.

But in a cursed world, lives are worthless. A drunken man knocked down Miyoung on the pedestrian crossing. She had a major brain damage and after two days she just left like that. It hurt Luhan so much because it’d been a week since the day they met and he felt like Miyoung his own sister.

And that destroyed Sehun.

While many of them pity Sehun, Luhan didn’t. He felt sad for Sehun but it wasn’t a reason for him to pity Sehun. He understood what it’s like to be pitied and how much he hated the feeling. So Luhan just accompanied Sehun only Sehun wanted to but didn’t try filling his lonely minutes all the time. He didn’t force Sehun to grab lunch with him but let his tummy to growl louder, stubbornly insist on working until Sehun himself drags him to the company cafeteria. He didn’t ask Sehun on dinners but worked over time on piling up reports and Sehun asked Luhan to grab some dinner before Luhan starve himself to death. He didn’t force himself on Sehun and he always respected Sehun’s personnel space. Luhan knew that Sehun wasn’t a baby but a man who had a terrible lose.

It was difficult for Luhan to get Sehun warmed up to go back to where they were, gluing Sehun’s shattered happiness back together. It was a struggle and difficult but Luhan had all the patience in the world. It took two years for Luhan to get him and Sehun to be buddies again.

And along the way the feelings were changed. Luhan didn’t want to force anything out but he could feel Sehun’s gaze on him, his palm lingering on his shoulder for extra seconds. And just like that, in a colder evening, under stars they kissed. But nothing solved miraculously.

Damaged by his heart ache, Sehun ran away from his feelings, distancing himself from Luhan, avoiding him. Luhan gave him space and time, patiently waiting Sehun to get back. He did confront Sehun once just because it hurt to be ignored by the one person he loved so much and after their heart to heart talk, Sehun took his time wisely to figure things out.

Then he finally decided that it’s time to let Miyoung go. And deep down he knew that this is exactly Miyoung would have wanted too, for Sehun to be happy.

And then they kissed again, under a starry sky, with Sehun asking Luhan to be his boyfriend.

Then they progressed in their relationship. And finally they decided that Haowen, Sehun’s now six years old son should meet him.

Haowen was a small replica of Sehun but a shy child. Luhan had met Haowen once in MiYoung’s funeral but he doubted that the child remembers him. He was just three that time. Luhan could tell the child liked him a little after the first meeting. Luhan was a kind hearted a soul who had a big heart enough to welcome his lover’s six year old son with open arms to his life. He knew with time he would too, eventually warming up.

But something changed.

Haowen, instead of liking him, became so distanced, so cold. He didn’t like his presence but Haowen was