He always be my Lolita

Lolita , light of my life , star for my nights

My sin , my soul.

I loved you. I was a monster , but I love you.

I was despicable and brutal and everything

But thank you to you my Lolita

Who always stand by my side

Watching every side of me , even change my world.

You are my weakness and my strength

My everything

My Lolita , Cha Hak Yeon

London , 2007

It was such a cold night when my only daughter left me. She gone in her peacefully sleep. Jung Min Yool , the name that i keep repeat in my cry. I never thought she will leave me this fast.

Min Yool-ya is it cold out there?

You just left with a piece of gown. Buried there with your smile.

Daddy must be such a terrible father that leave you in this frozen night with just a piece of gown out there.

MinYool-ya , no one asked daddy to read book to send you to dreamland

That last story really send you to such a peacefull night , right?

A long long night that you will always be there even though minute , hour , day and even year passed.

Seoul , 2012

There is tremendous diffrenece between alone and lonely.

I felt lonely even  i’m in group of people.

I like being alone.

I like eating by myself

Buried myself with all of those work even my secretery can do it for me.

I go home at night and just ready that book again and again

Just like another day , wake up then leave my apartment and goes straight to the office

Nothing much to since i’ve finished everything yesterday

It’s my birthday and i turned in to 30 – years old man in a blink

It’s been 5 years since MinYool left me

And now i live her dream. She always said “i want to be a super star! So that i can bright at the sky and shine on daddy!” i chuckled when her voice suddenly comes to my mind. She just 3 years old little girl and say things like that. I wonder how beautiful she is right now if she still by my side.

Knock knock

The knocking screw my imagination. It must be Ravi again

“good morning sajangnim. I bought some trainee profile that will be debut” he said.

“thanks” i said and start to look at their profile

Lee Jae Hwan , Lee Hong Bin , Han Sang Hyuk

“wait , only three members? Why only three?” i asked

“actually there is one more member but he just left the company last week”

“who? And why?” i asked

“Cha Hakyeon and we still can’t contact him till’ now” said Ravi

“make sure you find him. He can’t just leave like that” i said

“yes sajangnim” and he leave the room. Entertainment world must be difficult for them. Working in such young age and say that it’s their dream and now they trapped in their dream. I sipped my coffee again as i see the rain out there throughh my window.

Minyool-ya..