The two Chinese boys had gathered all the members in the room. Giggling, they exchanged loving smiles and, with fingers intertwined, told everyone the good news.

There was a stunned silence. And then immediately, eleven boys stood up and started making their way to the new couple. Jun grinned happily, closing his eyes as he opened his arms wide for a congratulatory hug. Ten seconds later and still no hug, he opened his eyes.

“Whyyy,” the dancer whined, when everyone immediately rushed to Minghao and protectively put their arms around the boy, giving Jun the evil eye. “I’ll be an awesome boyfriend!”

Jihoon glared at him. “You’re going to corrupt our baby Hao-Hao.”

Jun raised his hands defensively. “Hey, I can be a gentleman! Probably even more than Joshua here.”

“Nope,” Seungcheol and Jeonghan said in unison.

“Hao!” Jun looked at his boyfriend for help.

Minghao smiled gently and extricated himself from the tangle of arms. “Sorry, guys, but I’m already far gone,” he announced, squeezing Jun's hand. Everyone groaned as Jun smirked triumphantly at them. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, since practice is canceled today anyway, Junnie and I will go on a date.”

“Be home in an hour!” Seungcheol the leader called out. “That’s an order!”

“Don’t talk to any strange men!” Hoshi added. “At least, other than Jun-hyung!”

“Hey!”

“Bring home pizza!” Hansol shouted.

“And some tea,” Seungkwan whined. “Think of my beautiful voice!”

“Buy me some chips, Jun-ah,” Jeonghan commanded. “That’s the least you could do for taking Minghao away.”

“Seriously, don’t bring him to some shady place, okay, Junhui?” Joshua said with a frown.

“Use protection!” Mingyu chimed in.

“What the .”

Unfortunately, it didn’t just end with that.

First there was the Hyung Intervention, which felt disturbingly like receiving the Talk from his parents. Except, at least his hyungs didn’t drone on about feminine body parts for hours, PowerPoint and all. Or maybe his parents were just weird.

Minghao sat patiently, waiting as the three nudged each other, muffled curses being tossed about. Finally, it was his saintly American hyung that spoke up.

“Minghao,” Jisoo began gently, “are you sure you want to be with him?” Insert a mini-panic session here. “I-I mean, I love Jun and everything—no, not like that! I like you guys together, but—”

“He might be a bit too intense for you,” Jeonghan interrupted, leaning forward and ruffling Minghao’s hair like he was some little kid.

“We just don’t want you to get hurt, Hao-Hao.” Seungcheol patted him on the shoulder.

“I’m flattered that you guys are concerned,” Minghao told them with his trademark oblivious smile, the one he’d put on even when everyone was scowling at Mingyu for (allegedly) eating all the chips. “But, ah, aren’t the three of you dating each other?”

The three looked down at their interconnected hands.

“So?” they chorused.

Minghao smiled again and ducked his head. “Never mind.”

“Minghao!”

“Yes?” Minghao called out, mid-flip. He landed on his feet and looked at Wonwoo and Mingyu expectantly.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re safe,” Wonwoo rumbled. “Dating Jun-hyung and all. What’s it like?”

“Must be freaky,” Mingyu said earnestly. “Do you guys do, like, k*nky stuff?”

Wonwoo smacked him on the arm. “Shut up or I’ll inflict the non-k*nky stuff on you,” he threatened.

Mingyu scratched his head. “The vanilla stuff?” He grinned and winked. “Hey, I’m cool with that.”

“More like the horror movie gore-fest,” Wonwoo said, eyes as dead as ever. "That's also ."

Mingyu’s grin grew wider. “I’m cool with that, too!”

And suddenly, the two were walking off. Minghao shrugged and effortlessly did three aerial cartwheels, checking his phone as he did so.

“Hey, Minghao!” The minute he landed, he was face-to-face with Soonyoung, noses barely an inch apart.

“Just wanted to tell you that your hip-ing technique have been improving these days,” Soonyoung informed him, arms crossed. He was very serious about hip-s, but there was a more pressing matter at hand. “As a matter of fact, so has Jun’s. Should I be worried?” Suddenly, a smile broke through his serious face. “At least our baby Channie still kinda at hip-ing. Wait. I’m not supposed to be glad about that!” He tried to get his serious face back on track and failed. “Being performance leader is so hard,” he whined.

Minghao shrugged, smiling the same smile that he’d wear even when everyone was trying to look all s*xy for a photoshoot. “Your hip-s are excellent, Hoshi-hyung. Is there anything we need to be worried about?”

“He has a point,” Jihoon said from out of nowhere. He frowned at Soonyoung, who muttered something about needing to go to the bathroom and then dashing off.

“Minghao,” Jihoon began.

“I really like Jun-hyung, Jihoon-hyung,” Minghao stated frankly. “I have no regrets, and I don’t want to break up with him. And I wasn’t the one who used your headphones as a makeshift ethnic instrument last week.”

“I knew my headphones weren’t getting loose by themselves,” Jihoon muttered to himself. “Uh, thanks for the heads-up, Hao.”

“Sure,” Minghao said pleasantly.

“And tone it down with the hip-s!”

 “Do you guys hold hands?” Hansol said with genuine curiosity.

“Do you guys, like, hug or something?” Seokmin tried.

“You guys are so lame,” Seungkwan complained. He turned to Minghao, wiggling his eyebrows. “Do you and Junhui-hyung do some kissy-kissy stuff?”

“I heard Jeonghan- and Seungcheol-hyung talking about how Jun-hyung is obviously topping,” Chan said blankly. “Like, pizza topping? If Jun is pizza topping, does that mean you’re the dough?”

“That sounds like some pretty dope rap lyrics,” Hansol said, perking up.

“Wait,” Minghao interrupted. “They think Jun is topping?”

Seokmin smiled brightly. “That’s what they said,” he said cheerfully.

Minghao smiled back, a sweet smile he’d probably keep pasted on even if a cataclysm of death and horror happened right next to him. Or, you know, near him, without him being in the scene of the crime. “Why do they think that Jun is topping?” he said carefully.

“If we go by the pizza dough analogy,” Seungkwan mused, “maybe it’s because you’re paler, so you’re the dough.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Hansol argued. “Pizza is toasted when it comes out of the pan. I’d say it’s because Minghao is flatter!”

“Jun-hyung is flavorful, and Minghao is the dependable dough,” Seokmin added. “They’re one good pizza, alright.”

“What do you think, Minghao-hyung?” Chan asked. “Um, Minghao-hyung?”

“I can’t believe everyone thinks you’re topping!” Minghao complained.

Jun looked up. “Um, I am topping, last time I checked.”

“We haven’t even made out yet!”

“Yeah, yeah, doing the gentlemanly thing and waiting until your nineteenth birthday,” Jun droned. Suddenly, he perked up. “Unless you wanna do it now? I won’t mind.”

“No! I just want to know why they’re all assuming that you’re gonna be the top!”

“I dunno, I guess because I’m…older?”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Minghao argued. “I’m pretty sure Mingyu’s topping Wonwoo-hyung.”

“Spare me the image.” Jun shuddered. “Ah, well…I don’t know, I guess I just have that top quality, or something.” He smirked, crossing his arms. “I mean, I am pretty experienced, after all.”

Minghao shoved him. “Greaseball!”

“Just kidding,” Jun chuckled. “I’ve had a few girlfriends, but they’re nothing compared to you, baby.”

“Still a greaseball.” Minghao folded his arms, pouting. “I just don’t think it’s right that everyone assumes you’re the top.”

“Well, how do you want to settle this? A duel?” Jun joked.

“Good idea.”

“Wait…what?”

“A wushu battle. You and me. Right in front of everyone, so that this misconception will be cleared.” Minghao smiled, and Jun can only look at him in horror. “Whoever loses is bottom for life.”

“Um…”

“And whoever backs out is still bottom for life.”

“Wha-Hey! Why do you get to make up the rules?”

“Well, it’s your idea—”

“I was kidding!”

“—so the duel must proceed under my terms.” Minghao’s smile widened, and Jun swore that he never saw pure evil until that very moment. “That’s the rule of duels, Junnie. You studied this, too.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been practicing wushu since you were, like, six.”

“Five, actually,” Minghao said cheerfully. He stood and kissed Jun’s forehead. “See you later, Junnie!”

 “Whoa!” “Did you see that?” “He…he judo-flipped him!” “I didn’t know we’ve been living with Bruce Lee all this time…”

And so Jun lay on the ground, utterly defeated.

Minghao’s face popped up above him. “Hey. Are you feeling okay?”

“Uh…”

Jun couldn’t believe that he lost his topping rights for a duel that was best ten out of twelve…with a score of Jun-1, and Minghao-11. Technically, they could have stopped at the seventh round but Jun stupidly called for a rematch.

The members were silent, watching with wide eyes as Minghao hoisted Jun up and embraced the limp boy, who was practically sliding out of the younger boy’s arms.

“I can’t wait for my birthday!” Minghao exclaimed.

An hour later…

The three hyungs of the group looked at each other solemnly, before addressing the boy seated before them.

“Jun,” Joshua said gently, “are you sure you want to be with him? I mean, I love Minghao and everything, but—”

“He might be too intense for you,” Jeonghan said, for once looking concerned for Jun’s well-being.

“We just don’t want you to get hurt, Junnie,” Seungcheol stated, in his big-brotherly way.

Jun facepalmed.

---

Belated happy birthday, Minghao.