The first time the subae invited her, just starting her entertainment career it wouldn’t do to be entangled with rumours and caused more hate to the group. She wouldn’t have cared if it was her alone but her sweet unnie and dongsaengs shouldn’t be affected by her action. As the leader of Sistar, she firmly rejected the invitation, only giving the number of her manager. Even though she knew that it would hurt him, even when the shine in his eyes dull in the face of rejection and her heart cried out to fix it, to make him happy again, but she couldn’t be selfish. No, she couldn’t.

However, she would still be seeing him for a long time considering that they were both part of the Immortal Song 2. During the time, she steeled herself to act like usual, teasing each other in a tones of mockery which wasn’t serious, playful touches which made her heart fluttered. Slowly she fet herself falling for the mischievous maknae of Super Junior all the more, but she knew that it was all too late. Those eyes wasn’t directed at her anymore, his eyes didn’t shine towards her anymore, her heart ached at the reminder but all she could do was smile and acted like everything is fine.

Sometimes though, sometimes she hated herself, she hated everything, him, the world, the entertainment industry, the public, but she didn’t have the time to wallow in despair like she did in the past, now she had become an idol and she was not alone. She had her own members who noticed everything when nobody else did, who supported her decision no matter the consequences, but her decision stood firm. She decided to forget about him, she knew it would be hard, there would be more tears and breakdowns to come, especially so in the entertainment industry, but she would persevere.

She didn’t meet him for a long time until Radio Star, where he jokingly teased about when she gave him her manager’s number and as a result she had to giver her number at a national television to him. At the time, she was feeling a whirl of emotion, excited, anxious, fear and above everything hope bloomed in her heart. And even though she knew, but her hope was stomped harshly over and over when with each day passed there was no sign of contact from him. When realisation hit, she cried and cried again with her members huddling beside her.

For some time even during the group’s promotion, her longing and hate for him grew, to the point she couldn’t recognise herself anymore, how ugly she had become when she had already promised long ago when she locked herself for 2 months, she promised not to be weak, where had that woman gone to? The strong woman who promised not to be blinded by love and promised to walk forward without a care of what people would say. She wasn’t there, so with determination she searched for a pair of scissors, cutting her own hair to be a reminder and start for a whole new her.

Alas, it was not that smooth sailing for one she was scolded for carelessly cutting her own hair and two it was very near to her debut as a solo, but she felt refreshed, the world she had been hating and dull for 2 years shone bright with colors and she could now proudly smile to her members who had been worrying over her. And then with the busy schedules, she had forgotten all about him until they met coincidentally, it was awkward, but she steeled herself and asked him to lean over so that she could whisper to his ear.

“I loved you,” she said with her best smile, but she was called over by her manager as she was running late for her other schedule so without waiting for any response and a quick goodbye she ran toward her manager and only then she heard the response. “Thank you!” he shouted across the hall, she turned and gave a dazzling smile in return before going back to what she was doing.

‘Goodbye, Cho Kyuhyun’

-    Time Skip    -

That did happen, didn’t it? It felt like so long ago when it’s only been a year, but this year had been filled with so much happiness for her and her members that she had forgotten how painful it was last year. Her mind was wandering around even though she was supposed to be listening to the music.

“Hey Hyolyn, did you listen to the music?”

“Ah sorry, Youngie, I wasn’t really listening to it, but I’m sure it’s good.” She said with a smile and she was not lying as they also have the same taste in music.

“You’re not forgiven,” her collab partner said, but his cheeks were dusted with a shade of pink and his lips were tugged in a small smile.

She couldn’t help herself, she gave her partner a kiss on the cheek and smiled.

‘Ah indeed it has and at last I’ve found my happiness’