This is supposed to be just a phase. Like the feeling of being sad because you feel so full like you'll never eat again but it's really just because you ate all that delicious food in a short period of time and your body isn't used to it. That kind of sadness, where you feel like you'll never be happy again but you will. Because once your stomach gets used to it, you'll stuff yourself again and you'll feel happy again.

But this is not that kind of sadness. It was as if I am so done with everything and everybody. I just want to sit in my room and cry with no absolute reason. The feeling of being too depressed that I can't move a single limb, and it feels like I'm physically sick. And I just want to talk to someone about it but at the same thing I don't want to say anything to anyo-

"Earth to Kim Taehyung?" Taehyung's train of thought was cut by a certain blonde, namely Park Jimin.

"Ssup?"

"Oh. My. God. Did you just spaced out the whole time I was talking? OUCH I'M SO HURT." Jimin, being the drama queen, clutched his chest in offense, but Taehyung knew better. Jimin was just exaggerating it.

Taehyung rolls his eyes at this then asked what he was talking about, pulling out books from his bag, knowing that the teacher would come in 5 minutes. "Oh Taetae, don't mind what I said. I'm too lazy to repeat it but did you even take a look of yourself today? You look like a walking corpse. With those bags under the eye. And why are you being oh-so--not-fashionable today?"

Taehyung stopped whatever he was doing and glanced at Jimin who were just about to take his books out. Taehyung knew Jimin was just joking but why did he felt as if someone had just stabbed him? He didnt know. Suddenly he feel embarassed to be in his own skin.

Jimin was too busy looking for his book, that he probably had left at home to notice Taehyung slipped out. Taehyung walked through the hallway, heading to the toilet, a certain blue sky A5 book in his left grip.

He went straight to the last cubicle, closed the seat's lid, sat and starts writing his thoughts away.

 

Dear diary,

I'm starting to doubt my own bestfriend. Is that okay?

I think I'm okay, but I might be wrong.

I cry meself to sleep last night. But I could'nt sleep anyway.

Is this my punishment?

I used to not care,

but now I'm insecure.

I'm sorry.

 

Taehyung did'nt even realised the bell ringing. Tears were starting to pool. He angrily wipes off his tears with his sleeve, and try to calm himself down. He went back to his class, with his well-known rectangular smile that no teachers could resist. Well specifically, Mrs Kim. He took his seat besides Jimin, reasoned that he had a stomacache. Jimin had brushed off, and starts to focus on the board.

Little did Taehyung know a pair of eyes were observing his every move.

 

 

************

 

 

School went by too slow for Taehyung's liking, but nothing bad happened so Taehyung were bound to have a good day, right?

Anyway, Taehyung was on his way to a huge white building. It wasn't a pleasant place to visit, but it's not like he had any choice either. He went straight to the fifth floor, making his way to a certain room. He had thrown smiles to people he passed by, it was fake but he tried, at least.

"Come in." A voice is heard, after Taehyung had knocked a few times. Taehyung make his way inside, irking his nose at the strange smell in the room. Not like he's not used to it.

"Ah! Such a pleasant to see you! Come, take a seat." Well, sorry, The feelings ain't mutual, Taehyung had thought.

He obliged anyway. The lady in front of him straightened her posture, taking a glance at Taehyung before smiling brightly. "So, how are you feeling today, Mr Kim?"

"Not a bad day. Not sure it'll be good though. Just needing my bed right now," Taehyung said.

"And please stop calling me Mr Kim, Dr Jung. Taehyung is fine. That's too formal."

She had nodded. Scribbling something on her file.

"Well, since this is only our second therapy, I don't want to burden you so let's do a simple one-to-one."

Taehyung had simple shrugged.

"So, it goes this way. I'll speak a a word, and you will just say whatever that comes across your mind. You don't have to think far. Simple, right?"

"Let's start shall we?"

"White," Dr. Jung has started.

"Snow."

"Roses."

"Thorns."

"Black."

"Alone."

"Red."

Sehun took a sharp breathe," Blood."

Dr. Jung keeps sribbling, perhaps what Taehyung had answered her. But she meets Taehyung's eyes, everytime he gave the answer. Probably finding the truth.

"Blue."

"Calm."

"Love."

"Friend."

Dr. Jung puts her pen down. "So, who is your friend, Taehyung?'

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Don't kill me just yet. I just had time to open my laptop, and this is probably pure because I just wrote whatever that came to mind. And it's 3.45 am here! Thankfully, I still followed the plot. I'm also not used to writing long chapter and I know this even long anyway but I tried! *pats myself* And Jungkook will make his appearence soon, trust me! Just bear with me lmao

And thank you to my first 3 subscribers (queenfisher, arezoo1377, Zareenakhaulah) for actually wanting to read this author crappy writing sobs I AM SO HONORED

@queenfisher : so thankful for the support <3