Something greater than average

I had always been below average, and I wasn't going to get better, knowing how I was. It wasn't that I had no friends, or a family to turn to. I was just one of the masses.. insignificant. The only time I received attention was when I hadn't meant to do it. Faces would look back at me, with nothing short of disgust or pure pity beneath hardened expressions. And I hated that. I hated it so much.

So why try to stand out and be above where I shouldn't be? I can feel them laughing at me, my guts twisting in, tears choking me. 
I couldn't deal with the dissociation of my mind, it was almost every minute that it tried to picture every worst case scenario. It stained every corner of the blank canvas of my mind with fear.
So I never associate myself with those of a higher standard, not because I don't like them, but because I can't keep up. 

Jeon jungkook, its not that I hate you, it's just that I can't keep up with you. I don't understand you. 

(author: HELLOO ☺️ It's my first time writing a fanfic, hopefully you guys will like it? I wrote this story based on my own experiences so any similarities to other stories are purely coincidental)

A huge thank you to daisy from descriptionari for inspirations that I drew upon for this story :)