I was waiting him in front of my room's door. I was holding a pocket of flowers. The feeling when I held this gift for him was something indescribable! I looked at my watch and he was late by 10 minutes, this is so not him! I was waiting his signal to meet him! He used to come on time, never late, moreover, he always be at the meant place before me which made me feel guilty to keep him wait.

The nurse opened the door, and I thought that he came, but I was so disappointed!

"sunye-sshi! Why are you standing here?" she asked me with her gentle smile.

"am waiting someone…to come!" I said with a burning cheeks!

"wow! Cool! Don't tell me that handsome guy who used to visit you here!"

"do you mean Siwon-sshi? a guy with a black hair?"

"yeah, that guy…with a black hair! He suits you!"

"No! No! he isn't the one!"

"OMO!! I thought he is your boyfriend! Sorry!"

"it's okay! He is just my best friend! The one who I will meet…rarely come to my room!"

"how could you know him?"

"he is siwon's friend, he visited me once, but since that day…" I heard a knocking on my window.

"do you hear this voice?" I asked her chuckling!

"yeah! What is it?" she asked then went to see through the window "the signal" I waved my hand to her and harried down stairs to meet him with the flowers! But, I stopped my steps when I felt that I couldn't breathe. This is always happened to me when I run! But I didn't learn from it, I always harried  to meet him no matter my condition was bad!

"Jang su!!" I shouted to him and waved my hand. I went to the backyard!

"sunye!" he said my name, I so love my name when he says it!

"why were you late? I was worried!" I said with a puppy eyes! He hugged me tightly and rest his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, sun!"

"it's okay! Since it's your first time!" I hugged him back then I pushed him gently. "look at this!" I gave him the flowers with a grin.

He looked at it with a shocked eyes, then he turned his head to the other side with a flickering eyes! I didn't know what happened to him all up sudden that changed him upside down!

"JANG SU! Are you ok?" I asked him worriedly…my heart was beating seriously!

"Thank you! Why you did this? You haven't had to do it!" he said patting my head like a child!

"aren't you planning to take it from my hand?" I raised an eyebrow in a sarcastic way.

"who would reject it!!" he took it then caught my hand and pulled me after him with his smiling face that I used to see! He always smiles in front of me, never frowned, never got angry! I'm so comfortable around him…but I asked myself this question…did he really loves me? or he is just pitying me?!

"you said to me that your dream is…to see the scene of a sunset with your lover, right?" he said playing with my hand and waving it forward and backward! I nodded to him shyly! I didn't say this often, maybe just once…and he still remembering it carefully! 'so, he really cares of me'.

"and I'm your lover right?" he asked while we sat near the sea. It wasn't really far from my hospital. Again, I nodded to him while our eyes connected to each other.

"I know it's band to go out of the hospital…but, I want to grant this wish to you!" he said with full of sincere in his eyes that sparkle suddenly! I grabbed his hand tightly and my tears were cling in my eyes and I tried to hold them back.     

"it might be…our last sunset together!" I said as I bowed my head…afraid of the idea itself! I was shaking when I said these words! He grabbed my hand tighter than before…and put his hand around my shoulder and pulled me to lean on his chest and rest my tears on it.

"we will be together…here…or in heaven!! Nothing will depart us!" he said as I felt his words! His voice was so deep and he pushed me toward him even more.

I raised my head as I wanted to see his chin, then I adjust myself and erased my tears away.

"Jang su…promise me one thing!" I said to him.

"anything…I promise you!"

"if I die…" he wanted to interrupt me, but I put my hand on his mouth and nodded to him to let me complete what I wanted to say.

"if I die…please…move on, and…love another person who will give you…the love you truly deserve!" I stared at him and he stared back at me! his eyes were in shock, he looked at me and couldn't open his mouth…he turned his head to look at the sea and ignored me.

"the time is now!" he said and changed the topic and caught my hand and rest his head on my shoulder! We were staring at the beautiful scene ever! The place was dark…so he decided to go back to the hospital as the weather started to get cold…and it's actually BAD for my health and he was aware of that!

We stopped at the backyard facing each other.

"I will keep your gift in my room!"

"you have too!! Even after my death, or even if it's wilt… you have to keep it!" I put out my tongue as I wanted to . The words was hurting me before him! But I have to adapt myself to this fact! He didn't smile at me at all and I understand him!

"I want to give you a gift as well!" he said then he came closer to me. I raised my head to look at his eyes. It was my first time to see his face this close! It was his first time to come closer to me like that…my heart was beating powerfully! He kissed me and let me fly in my dreamland for awhile! I was closing my eyes and couldn't believe what this beautiful feelings! He looked at my eyes and I was blushing nonstop!

"it's a good night kiss!" he said with a beautiful smile. "hope you liked the gift!"

I bowed my head shyly couldn't answer him! Even when he knows there is no way for me to survive…he was trying to get closer to me!

"see you later at the same time!" he winked at me…but his eyes was holding some feelings I couldn't understand! He was holding my hand as he said goodbye to me! he didn't want to let off my hand!

"how could I go while you're holding me like that?" I said giggly!

"sorry!! If it's me…I wouldn't let this hand off! But…I will see you tomorrow, right?" he said hesitatingly.

"sure, as usual!"

"sure?"

"what's wrong? Yeah…SURE! I'm sorry but it's too cold! I have to go inside!"

He left me and I headed inside as I felt the weather broken my bones!

The next day, I waited him…but he didn't come at all nor Siwon! I was so disappointing! I felt like…he started to abandon me!

2 days…3 days…4 days…5 days…1 whole week! He didn't come nor Siwon! My condition got worse after knowing that he left me suddenly! Without even telling me that he wanted to leave! Maybe because of that promise! He is adjusting himself to a new life with a new girl! he left me! he isn't like that!

"Jang su…tell me that you loved me! tell me that you weren't playing with my feelings! You weren't pitying me because of my health condition! But you're killing me now!! JANG SU!" I was talking to myself..screaming and shouting! Until the nurse came and drugged me to calm me down! I collapsed! She always beside me to not let me feel down! But…it was too late! Inside...I thought that my body was broken into pieces! The illness took a big part of me which prevent me from moving no longer!

After a week and 2 days of his absence so siwon too…Siwon visited me, finally! I couldn't scold him! Telling him anything, I was powerless! I was waiting my death at any time!!!

"sunye-sshi!"

"why? Did you remember just now…sunye?"

"I'm sorry…but I have to tell you that…" I didn't look at him but when his voice changed, I turned my head to see him, his face was too pale…and his eyes was bright red! I couldn't move because of my illness. But I tried to sit as hard as I could.

"Jang su gave this to me week ago…he said he wanted you to read this! I'm a fool because I didn't tell you earlier…"

"what do you mean? What is this? Why are you crying?"

"Jang su…passed away…last week after that meeting with you!" the time stopped when he told this HORRIBLE news! should I believe him? Should I really have to believe what my ears heard? I took the letter from him powerfully and opened it to read what he wrote!

 

"To sunye…my lover SUN,

It might this shock you, but you will know sooner or later, so I preferred to tell you by myself.

The day I met you, was the best day ever, the days when I hang out with you, simply perfect.

For every second I look at your face, my soul just reborn! I'm getting energy because of your smile, because of your face!

I couldn't handle it! they said that…I don't have much time to live! But…I fight myself just to see your smile for my last day! for my last day!

it's so pathetic to keep thinking of you day and night! And what makes me relief that…we share the same fate! The same illness! But, I didn't want to let you know…to make you feel better, I heard your nurse said that your condition got better! So, please live your life! As I promised you…please promise me as well! Live your life as it should be!

We share the same fate…but, I think we have different paths!

Stay healthy as much as you can!

Jang su…"

I was sobbing hardly! How come he scarified himself just to help me? why? I hit siwon for not letting me know about his condition! "I HATE YOU!!" I said as I lost controlling of myself! "WHERE IS HIS ROOM??!!" I shouted again at him. I took off all the needles and ran out screaming! He caught me but I still not aware of anything! My feet drugged and I lost the sense of it! "JANG SU, YOU PROMISED ME! YOU CAN'T LEAVE BEFORE ME!!!! THAT'S CAN'T BE!" I was breathing separately until I lost my power and fainted!

The next day, the nurse and siwon took me to Jang su's room! I opened the door and I couldn't handle it but my tears ran out of my eyes and I started sobbing! The bed, the window, the wardrobe…everything organized, everything telling me that he can't comeback! But…something caught my attention, the flower that I gave to him! He placed it near his bed! I kneeled down near his bed and started to breath his smell!

"he kept the roses that I gave to him!!! HE KEPT IT AS HE PROMISED!"

"sunye…did you know…that…the rose isn't good for him, but he refused to take it out!" siwon said to me and I started to cry even harder!

"Jang su…rest in peace!" I said as I couldn't move my head from his bed…I lied my head on his bed and imagined myself lying on his shoulder.

"Jang su…you gave what I wanted, but, I didn't give you anything back! You were always smiling in front of me…even when you're facing the pain! I'm sorry because I didn't give you what you really deserve!"

The tears fell down as I closed my eyes and slept forever on his bed!

"Jang su….I'm sure that I'll meet you somewhere else…someday"

 

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