Night 1

Mark's never been a big fan of night clubs.

The fact that he was now inside of one was, at least, bizarre. His friends would say it was a clone, a twin, everything but him — if he had one, of course.

He wasn't proud of being a lonely person, but it wasn't as if it was his fault, as well as he didn't care if he had someone by his side or not. He knew that he was dead inside for years, and perhaps this was the reason why he started to do crazy stuff now, when he was almost giving up on living.

His clothes were simple, it didn't seem like he was in a night club full of people wearing leather jackets and cool clothing from the last fashion week, trying to keep an image which they couldn't on a daily basis.

Even if he tried, he couldn't understand why didn't people simply behave, dress up or talk like themselves. The will of being someone else was so big that they lost themselves in this troublesome proccess of impress everyone.

With a sigh, he sat in one of the sofas in the back of the club, sipping his coke while he watched the movement around him. He didn't know how to dance, he had no social capacity enough to start a talk with someone unknown and he was too shy to do anything else alone in a place so full — even if 90% of the people present there were too drunk to care.

But Mark thought too much, and overthinking was scary.

"Hey, lady, are you alone?" silence. The guy was probably hitting on a not interested girl. "Hey, I'm talking to you"

When he noticed the voice was too close, the blonde raised his gaze, widening his eyes as he saw the guy hitting on him. What should he do? His voice would betray him at the same moment that he wasn't a girl, and he didn't know exactly how dismiss him without sounding offended or rude.

Fortunately, the guy seemed to notice on his own.

"Oh, my bad, I thought you were a girl" he giggled, taking the opportunity to sit in front of him. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jackson"

"Uh... Mark"

Jackson was carrying a glass that smelled like some alcoholic drink mixed with coke, however he didn't seem to be drunk, only too happy. He wasn't sure if it was himself, or if he was under influence of what he was drinking.

"Alone in a place like this?"

"Yeah, yeah..." he laughed while looked at his own hands. "It's my first time here"

"First time?"

The guy widened his eyes, suddenly being even more interested — if it was possible — on him, a large smile on his lips while he adjusted himself in his chair, leaning on the table.

"Hmmm... I'm here for two months already, I think, enjoying it. It's pure fun, after all, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is..." he smiled, this time deciding to stare him back.

They kept the eye contact for long seconds before Mark decided to break the moment of analyzing, waiting for the other realize that they had lost themselves in each other's eyes and had stopped talking a while ago.

It was a little bit odd, and certainly frustrating be too shy to continue to stare at him, however he couldn't find a reason to be in a wrong way. The guy had good expressions, he seemed to easily express himself and had a divine smile. His almond-shaped eyes were two pools full of mixed feelings that wanted to overflow to take him and make him be stuck in there forever.

However, Jackson didn't seem to have the same intention of shifting his gaze.

"What are you staring at?" asked with a embarrassed smile, being fast in distract himself with the sleeves of his own shirt that were too long.

"I'm admiring you" he answered so naturally that the other was shocked, and that probably was visible on his face. "I mean it! You're too pretty, looks like a doll"

"Thank you...? I think, I don't know. I've never received a compliment like this before" he laughed again, sipping his coke.

"It'd be great if I could buy you and take you home..."

Once again, Mark saw himself almost gagging with what he was drinking when he heard such a straight and pratical sentence from the other. The boy's interest on him was as clear as the day, but although he didn't understand why, he wasn't rejecting it.

"Let's dance?" he asked all of sudden, excited.

"D-Dance? Oh... I don't dance"

"Now you do!"

As the other had that stunning smile on his lips that resembled him a child with a new toy, Mark turned to be unable to reject his inviting — although it wasn't exactly an invite — and just let him be taken by the other's hand that held his own, not letting it go when they stopped in the middle of people who danced nonstop.

Jackson was quick in start dancing a few random steps, following the music's rythm as if he was born to do it, while he tried to make Mark equally comfortable so he could enjoy himself with him. The american smiled, devoting himself to risk a movement or another bit by bit before he was completely wrapped on his happy and free of worries aura.

Unfortunately, two or three musics later, Mark felt too shy to continue to do that — even more when he noticed that a lot of eyes were on them — then he asked for a pause, being promptly attended by his new partner. When he commented he hasn't drink anything that wasn't the soft drink, Jackson didn't take long to drag him to the bar, making him prove a lot of different drinks to see which one he liked the most.

A little bit less thoughtful, paranoid and embarrassed, the Tuan was able to enjoy the whole night, dividing himself in dancing, drinking his new favorite mixture and equally proving sweet and soft lips that he never imagined he'd need so much against his own, especially because he met the owner of them this same night.

Mark was the guy of "never", there were a lot of things on his personal list that he never did and he probably should, even if it could be considerated too late for a young adult of only twenty and two years old.

He's had never gone to a night club.

He's had never danced in the middle of so many people.

He's had never experimented alcoholic drinks.

He's had never kissed.

Oddly, if it wasn't Jackson, he was pretty sure he'd still be the owner of a lot of "never" and from there he'd leave without any new experiencies, probably he wouldn't even comeback to the next party.

However, the boy of pretty smile and shining eyes had gave him the famous butterflies on his stomach, and he could add, without any resentment, a new meaning to the word perfection on the dictionary.

He's had never fell in love...

And he was ready to discover how it was.

Night 2

Mark had passed through an anxious week, looking forward to meet Jackson again.

It was slightly noticeable that he had dressed up a little more; his hands were sweating and shaking a bit because of his flutter, trying to distract himself every ten seconds with anything he could so he wouldn't overthink.

What if he was waiting too much from the other? What if his interest had been just a thing of the moment? Did he dress up too much? And what if the boy didn't like it?

He wanted to hit his head on the table and pass out until Jackson came and took him out of this prison of his thoughts, but he knew that he could end up dreaming about it if he did it, then he allowed himself to watch people around him, observing some of them and considering the possibility of try to fit in a little bit.

As if he had thought out loud  — and he didn't doubt he did it without noticing — an unknown person approached with a friendly smile, sitting in front of him with no worries about greeting him or asking for his permission. He wasn't sure if he approved the other's attitude, but he'd let it pass for now since he could distract him from his paranoid mind for a moment.

Mark just wondered why he always attracted boys. Did he really look like a girl as Jackson said, or... "Hey, hello~ Knock, knock~" the guy called him, smiling when he saw that the other put himself together. "You seem to do that a lot, you know that?"

"Do what...?" he frowned, confused.

"Look at people in front of you, but seeming to not give a to them" he laughed. "I'm Mike"

Mark gave him a fake smile, not feeling at ease with the guy as he had when Jackson came to talk to him. It was being a bit uncomfortable, especially when he was remembered of his bad habit of overthinking even when he was with someone else. Now, since he was self-conscious of his own actions, he'd end up trying to avoid that as much as possible. In other words, he'd overthink again in a way or another.

He didn't like when people pointed him a mistake, he already knew them too much. "Yes, I do" he answered calmly. "Mark"

"Oh, look! Our names have the same initial. I think it's the destiny working for us kiss today, huh?"

The blonde narrowed his eyes, closing his hands in fists under the table. He was sure that his irritation was turning to be obvious; he had learned a lot in life and he recognized easily people who only had second intentions. This wasn't the reason which Mark was here, and he'd like that people like this guy didn't disturb his peace.

"This destiny must be broken, then" he smiled, sipping his coke.

"Ah~ Don't be like that, huh? You came here for what, then?"

"To see me, jerk, piss off"

When Jackson finally made his presence, Mark's smile was genuine, it even seemed that he was a pet waiting for his owner's arrival — at least in the Chinese's twisted point of vision, it was almost as if he could see the other's cat ears lifiting after seeing him and hearing him. "Jackson!" 

Mike rolled his eyes, not needing to be told twice to get up and out of there, letting them alone so they could have the moment that both waited to much for.

"Hey..." he greeted in a calmer tone, sitting where the other was previously. "Did he bother you too much?"

"No, uh, you arrived right in time" he giggled. "I don't know how to deal with people"

"You're trembling! Are you sure everything's alright?" Jackson widened his eyes, holding the boy's hands as if they were made of glass.

Mark smiled as he saw the other's evident worry, nodding. He was pretty sure he was with a stupid face because of Jackson's sweet and spontaneous behaviour.

Even after he was satisfied to see that everything was really okay, Jackson didn't release his hands. "I was thinking... And what if we met during the day? Walk on the beach... We don't have too much time in this city, so it's better to enjoy it, right?"

"We don't have time...? Are you leaving?"

Jackson's smile died slowly, the tone that Mark spoke was calm, but he could identify the sadness behind it as he tried to seem natural, as if he didn't want to worry him in any way. The american's face was impassive, his aspect was indifferent, but his eyes contradicted him.

"Mark..."

"Oh, I get it..." he laughed dryly, lowering his head. "I get it..." repeated, as if he was stating more to himself than to the other.

"Mark please..."

The eldest got up, but his face was still facing the table, avoiding look to the other at any cost. His voice contained a smile, and Jackson knew that it was more than fake. Just a mask to hide the truth.

"I'm... Going to the bathroom. Gimme a moment, yes?"

Without waiting for an answer, Mark just made his way to the bathroom, passing through the crowd of people that danced and talked around there quickly, not looking back not even once.

The Chinese bit his bottom lip and sighed, thinking if he should really give him space or if he should go after him. His days in this city were temporary, he didn't intend to find someone that attracted him so much and made him wish he could pass more time than the planned, as well as he didn't intend to hurt him with his words insinuating he'd left him one time or another.

Decided, he got up and ran even faster after him.

He couldn't lose him.

"Mark!"

Jackson entered the bathroom, locking themselves there right after. He hoped that there wasn't anybody with them, and was sorry for who would need to use it, but he needed this moment of privacy in the middle of so many people so he could confess himself entirely to the other.

He ended up finding the american in front of the sink, his hands resting on the place while he turned to face him, his eyes widened in surprise. He thanked mentally when he saw that the other wasn't crying, or his heart would've been broken in million pieces at the same moment, although only his teary eyes were already a big knife in his chest.

"Don't cry, hey..." he approached him in slowly steps, watching him back away with fear and sadness in his eyes. "Mark..."

"I'm sorry, this is hard for me, and you're not making it any easy" responded in a low tone, avoiding the other's gaze. "I... I've never felt it before and to know it's only temporary, I..."

"Never felt what...?"

Jackson approached again a few steps while Mark was distracted, observing him bit his bottom lip while he choose the words he'd say, not wanting to talk anything unecessary. It was obvious how much he feared to open up, expose what he really felt.

"I've never felt this odd, with this will of seeing someone as soon as possible, smiling just thinking about you smiling... I'm a mess" he messed his own hair, raising his gaze to look at the other. "Jackson--"

Mark widened his eyes as he saw the other literally in front of him, centimeters of distance, watching him sorely. He asked himself since when Jackson was so close; he was so deep on his own thoughts that he didn't notice.

"You hold me here..." he whispered, letting his hand slide on the other's face. "But I'm still uncertain, so, please..."

"Jackson..." Mark sighed, closing his eyes. "I've never passed through this before, I... I need you to guide me"

"Just trust me" he held his face with his hands on Mark's jaw, his thumbs carressing his cheeks. "I'd never hurt you"

Jackson didn't need any answer or further statement; he just let himself close his eyes, his lips meeting the other's in a hungry and urgent kiss, but still passionate. He had this need beyond the normal for the eldest's kisses, and he'd do everything he could to have him like this everyday.

His heart throbbed strongly and his body seemed like it'd have a spontaneous combustion because of the heat he felt just by kissing him, his chest exploding in an harmony of feelings when the kiss was returned in the same way it was initiate, Mark's hands traveling on his body with curiosity and certain hesitation, but still touching him on the right spots.

It was the fuse, definitely. 

"M-Mark" he breathed out, being answered with a "hmm?" that seemed to burn him even more. "Let's go... To my house"

The grip that the other's hands had on his clothes increased, however he nodded anyway, willing to follow him and end the night the way both of them hungered since they've met.

Mark has never had his first time.

Jackson was ready to give him the best experience of his life...

... And a lot more.

Day 3

Jackson was anxious, oddly anxious. His hands were sweating and he couldn't concentrate; not even with that beautiful landscape of the beach house which he was hosted could distract him from the fact that he was longing someone.

He couldn't believe on his own capacity of breaking his affiance that he has been carrying his whole life: he wouldn't fall in love, it was unfair with the other person, he couldn't simply have the luxury of enjoying such a wonderful feeling when his future was already clear.

He was being unfair with Mark right now, especially because he didn't say out lout that he was in love and that he'd stay in the city the most he could for him. He couldn't make himself say those words because of his own stubbornness, fear.

He was afraid of everything be fine; he was afraid of love, of being happy and suddenly everything break down. His vacation was an excuse so he could leave his problems behind and follow his life the way he wanted to, but for how long could he run away from everything and pretend that nothing was happening?

When Mark appeared, his worries disappeared once again.

He didn't know how the boy could do it, but his lips were magical, his presence was divine and his eyes took him out of his world, making him be unable to think in anything else that wasn't him, him and him.

He was undeniably in love, and perhaps  it was already time to say it out loud.

Both watched the calm waves decreasing its size gradually until it ended on their feet, wetting it and making it even more real than it already was. They didn't need to exchange words, it was almost like if they could communicate by thoughts, or with just one look.

However, this time, their minds were disconnected and totally different from each other.

Jackson was happy for the moment they had together, one more from many others that he intended to have in the future. He was ready to admit it, he was ready to assume and free this feeling that he held within him.

But the other... He had no idea about what the chinese thought, and he was too down to think positively of the infinite longing he'd feel when Jackson leaves him.

"Sometimes I wish you'd stay..."

Mark murmured all of sudden, his thoughts escaping from his lips without him noticing it. He kept his gaze on the horizon, completely lost in whatever was on his mind.

"... What?" the chinese turned to face him, worried because of the way he said it, his face making his chest tighten.

"Nothing, it's just... My mind" he sighed. "Everything's so beautiful, being with you is perfect and I could pass my eternity here... I have a bigger reason to keep myself alive now"

"Mark..."

"It's a pity you don't think the same way"

With the sentence leaving his lips more bitter than he wanted to, Mark turned to the side, trying to not let the other notice his teary eyes ready to share tears he had been holding for days. Unfortunately, Jackson was too quick, and his heart tightened even more when the shine in the other's eyes wasn't because of happiness.

The american backed up a few steps before he turned away completely so his back was facing Jackson, following his way on the beach to where his feet guide him.

It was better to go before the other saw his weak side. He had never let anyone see him crying, and now wouldn't be the first time.

"Mark ,wait!"

But he didn't, even when he noticed that Jackson was coming after him. He didn't want to, couldn't and shouldn't be selfish, but he couldn't avoid thinking that fate had made a cruelty when it let him fall in love with someone who fit perfectly with him, someone who didn't have any other ties, worries; Someone who could be his, and he could dedicate himself without fear and hesitation.

However this feeling being not reciprocal, at least not the same much, was its evil plan.

He didn't have a way to deal with it without shattering his heart in pieces, and he wouldn't have the strenght to gather piece by piece once again.

"Mark, Mark!"

When Jackson was ready to hold him by his should and finally put some sense in that paranoid head, his system turned him off.

He woke up in a scare on his sofa as always, his eyes widened and his arm naturally  extended, as if the other was there with him and he could reach him if just one more step — step which could change everything.

But Jackson Wang didn't know Mark Tuan.

They were united by a technologic equipment that could make them live an admirable virtual reality, however not perfect. Patients that had terminal illness from all around the world used the services so they could feel alive, enjoy what they couldn't in a cruel reality that gave them a short life without much options.

The part that his hours of use had expired and he had left his lover crying alone — thinking about only God knows what — was the fuse for him to get tired of only contact him for a moment every week.

Jackson needed to meet him in the real life, he needed to find the hospital where he was and visit him. Mark kept repeating that they wouldn't have fall in love if they saw each other on person, but he was ready to love him even if he was inside out. 

Jackson was lost in love, and he didn't want to find himself.

Day 4

Jackson entered the hospital's room already with teary eyes, holding a plushie of a hero from comics in hands while he approached the person laying on the bed, completely out as he used the virtual services almost permanently.

From all the illness in the world, the last one that the chinese would imagine that Mark had was spinocerebellar ataxia; an illness so cruel, so horrible... He was too young, too beautiful. How could life be so unfair with someone so sweet, adorable?

Sniffing, he sat down beside the boy in a small space on the bed, adjusting the snapback he wore to hide his already bald head. His hands left the object with the boy, then he held the other's hands, trying to contain his tears.

The eldest was still immobile, connected to multiple equipments that worked against his own will, after all, even the doctos were aware of his insane will of living forever inside that alternative universe.

Unfortunately, he was on the brink, and only the chinese didn't know that.

"Mark..." he whispered, feeling his tears coming to his eyes with total strength. "Mark, I'm sorry..."

Jackson didn't know exactly for what he was apologizing for; he had been impulsive when he controlled his own feelings, however he knew that people who used this service probably hadn't much time left, so he couldn't be selfish at this point. Everyone had their problems, and his lover wasn't an exception.

For Mark, the virtual world was a chance to live for the first time. Having such a strong illness as young as he was clearly had destroyed him slowly until the actual days, where there wasn't an unique part of his body that obeyed him and soon he'd be...

The chinese shook his head, refusing to say such bad word, even if he knew that it was everyone's fate — this was the reason why he had promised he wouldn't fall for anyone, after all.

He wanted to hit himself for not having enjoyed enough, for every opportunity he lost, for every second he didn't use to kiss him or hold his hand; how could he be so insensitive and just care to himself? He didn't even thought of the possibility of what would be the eldest's illness, if he had more or less time to live, his intentions, his wishes...

Now everything made a little more sense.

In the real life, Mark thought exactly like him. He rejected love, because he didn't want to hurt or be hurt; he didn't wanna go away, he didn't wanna leave someone behind, then he turned to be a free soul.

Seeing his face resting peacefully in a hospital bed had destroyed him, and Jackson asked himself why he didn't think like him. Would it be too late? Would Mark reject him after everything they've been through to be together?

The american was there with open arms ready to pass the eternity by his side; how many people wished they could pass their whole life with the person they loved without any worry? He had this opportunity on his hands and he was ready to let it go without a reason.

The nurse entered the room after a few hours, an emphatic smile on her lips while her eyes showed some kind of sadness.

"The time has arrived, Mr. Wang"

Jackson returned the smile, thanking her.

He needed to do what he had to.

Night 4

Mark was confused; why did Jackson ask him to they meet at this hour all of sudden? It was rare to see him more than once a week, so he couldn't find a reason to this special occasion — he felt anxious, almost suffocated.

The boy suddenly made his presence, coming running from inside the house to the eldest who was standing still in front of the calm waves, still lost in the middle of so many events.

The Wang smiled broadly, soon stopping in front of the other the closer he could get, holding his hands and squeezing them between his own, his eyes shining in antecipation.

"Mark, forgive me" he breathed out with the same happiness in his voice. "I've been a selfish jerk, but now I understand your point of view"

Mark tilted his head slighty to the side, feeling a sudden will of throwing himself in the water and never come back. He could only be a victim of a prank, the last thing he needed so he could decide to turn every equipment off, including his connection with this virtual world.

"What are you talking about...?"

"To us be here together for the rest of us lives, we need to marry someone, right? And then sign a term, correct?" he received a nod in response. "So, please..."

Jackson dropped his hands only to kneel in front of him, and only at this moment Mark noticed that he was wearing a suit. His eyes widened in realization and he backed away a little bit, his hands automatically going to his face, too shocked to believe that it was real.

The chinese searched something in his pocket for a few seconds for then extend him a pretty red velvet box, opening it in the process to show him a silver bracelet apparently customized, full of details and unique.

"I haven't found a wedding ring that matched what I wanted, so I bring this bracelet as our object of union" he announced, showing that he already wore the other pair. "Mark... Marry me?"

Mark had never cried that much in his whole life, much less hugging someone else.

His tears were always shared with the void; the silence. He's never had a company, he's never had hugged someone tightly, he's never had smiled until his cheeks hurt or felt so many things at once.

Jackson made him feel this way within minuets, and he's never had been this happy. Everything was like a dream, except that it was real.

In a world that was made only for him to live what he couldn't in his arruined years of living because of his degenerative disease, never did he imagine that he would find the love of his life. He heard a lot of rumours that everyone had their soulmate, but he was a disbeliever when the subject was love.

However, he had finally found his other soul. And even though they had passed through some complications, he was there, willing to give him his eternity, to make him happy in a way that even his family wasn't able to when they could.

From a discarded boy to the happiest person he knows...

Even though I was dying, I've never felt this alive before.

Hey guys! Good to see you all~

I watch a show called Black Mirror, it's really really really good. I recommend to you all~

Anyways, I didn't entered in details about a lot of things. I didn't want to be boring or too detalist, so if you have any doubts, you can ask me~~ 

Hope you liked it, xoxo!