Taehyun woke up to an empty bed and a hushed conversation just outside the bedroom. He slowly rubbed the sleep off of his eyes, stood up and walked over to the kitchenette, keenly watching as Minho whispered words to his mobile.

Why is he whispering? Thought Taehyun, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Taehyun cocked his eyebrow at the sight then. He had been sleeping over Minho’s quite a lot these past weeks and the times he caught Minho murmuring to his phone as he called someone had been frequent. 

Taehyun cleared his throat and successfully earned his lover’s attention. 

Minho smiled nervously at him and ended the call without even saying anything more to the other person on the other line. He strode to where Taehyun was, rested his palms on the younger’s waist and kissed him on the top of his head. “Good morning.”

Taehyun glared at him, perturbed at how sudden Minho ended the call like he was hiding something. “Who was that?”

Minho bit the bottom of his lip but smiled right after. “A client. Work, the usual.” And then he gently pushed Taehyun to the little isle counter and presented him some pancakes before the other could question more.

Taehyun tried to smile, thanking Minho for the early surprise. 

But he didn’t have any stomach to eat.

Not when his heart clenches at the thought that maybe –

Maybe Minho’s having an affair.

But that can’t be… right?

Jamais Vu

(Never Seen)

“Nothing is ever familiar.”

2:

Minho had been taking his calls outside the house. Whenever his phone rings, he’ll immediately stand up and walk away from Taehyun. He explains it’s work but, why is work calling him outside office hours way too often?

On Monday morning, as Taehyun was preparing for his usual routine and was on his way to another photoshoot, he found himself glancing at Minho’s phone lying on the coffee table as it suddenly lighted up with a notification. Taehyun took a deep breath and looked around, heard Minho still in the shower. He convinced himself that what he was about to do was not okay, reasoning that he should trust Minho instead. But then he remembers the horrible feeling he gets whenever Minho takes those call – and he can’t deny that a part of him is starting to question Minho and his actions.

Taehyun doesn’t want to doubt Minho any longer.

So with an exasperated sigh and swift movements, he started reading through Minho’s messages.

Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary until his eyes froze on one sender named “Karen” who had called and exchanged texts with Minho the most these past days. Taehyun can feel his chest tightening and he thought of stopping at that point but he decided to at least read some of their conversations.

From: Karen
You sure you don’t want to tell him yet? I think it’s better the earlier he knows about this.

To: Karen
Not yet… I don’t know how to tell him yet. 

From: Karen
It’s going to be hard. But everything is already done and ready. 

To: Karen
Give me more time. 

From: Karen
I’ll leave soon.

To: Karen
I know. I don’t want you to leave.

From: Karen
You better end that with him then, at least before I leave, for the both of you to start on a new path.

To: Karen
I know. Can’t wait.

What the hell does this means?

Taehyun spent the next few minutes staring at the screen, the conversation mocking him with every line.

I think it’s better the earlier he knows about this.

Not yet… I don’t know how to tell him.

Give me more time. 

I don’t want you to leave.

You better end that with him then… start on a new path.

I know. Can’t wait.

So Minho was actually two timing him? Actually can’t wait to be over their relationship? 

Did he do anything wrong? Everything seemed to be going just fine before those conceited calls started…

Was Minho actually just tired of him already? 

Taehyun felt the ridges of his eyes starting to water, his vision blurry until he heard the water stopped running and he carefully placed the phone back on top of the table, pretended to do something on his own phone instead.

Minho emerged from the bathroom, steam rising from behind him as he rubbed his hair off of water. 

“I think I’ll be out late tonight.” Taehyun tried his best to sound okay, but failed to maintain eye contact. He couldn’t lash out at Minho at this very moment. He needed to sort his thoughts first.

Minho crossed in front of him and reached inside the drawers. “No worries, I will be out late too.”

No worries. Taehyun repeated inside his head 

Who wouldn’t worry with what he just read?

*
“Are you sure?”

Taehyun took a sip of his earl grey tea with a creased forehead. The slice of cake he ordered remained untouched, he still has no appetite for anything but a strong, tasteless kind of tea. “I don’t know for sure but what do you expect me to think of it as?” He leaned back on the wooden chair, subconsciously fiddling with the fringe of his hair right after. “’I don’t know how to tell him yet.’ ‘Give me more time.’” Taehyun repeated with a disoriented frown. “What the hell should I think about all of that?”

Jinwoo had been nibbling on the straw of his frappe ever since Taehyun had started his story. The now red-haired guy hadn’t even put his drink down even once. “I don’t really know what to tell you but – you still get to keep the colors with you even if you break things off with Minho anyway.”

Break things off with Minho.

Taehyun looked up and saw Jinwoo staring outside this time. “It helped you a lot with your works, and you can see every color now anyway. Letting go now may be hard but you still have the colors, at the very least it’s something.” Taehyun followed Jinwoo’s s gaze and realized he was looking at the shining moon outside the café windows.  “I always wondered if the moon and stars were actually white.”

What color are the stars?

White? I think they are.

Taehyun doesn’t have anything to say so he didn’t. His heart was still heavy and there was a painful tug at his chest.

Jinwoo noticed this and finally put down the frappe on the table between them to get Taehyun’s attention. “You can always come back to the boarding house, anytime. You know that.”

That night, Taehyun did not go back to Minho’s place and instead cried his heart out until sleep cradled him. He was on his bed, but it doesn’t feel familiar anymore. It doesn’t smell of Minho’s musk, it doesn’t feel of Minho’s warmth.

Taehyun frowned even more, even if he was away from Minho, his thoughts are still around him.

He received a text from his roommate sometime later. 

From: Kim Jinwoo
If you plan to kill yourself, do it outside the house, I don’t want to come back to a rotting body. Thanks!

From: Kim Jinwoo

I was kidding. No suicide pleasee. D:

Taehyun finally cracked a small smile.

He asked Jinwoo to sleep over Seunghoon’s for the time being and Jinwoo was more than willing to comply (not to mention how the older enjoyed seeing his boyfriend smiling shyly at Taehyun when he waved them goodbye). At least things seem to be going well with those two. 

It was stupid that he was jumping to conclusions, and he tried to tell himself that he was being unreasonable. Taehyun knew he was being uncharacteristic but what character should he play anyway in this kind of situations?

Whatever he made himself think, the pain doesn’t go away anyway.

He waited for Minho’s texts until one in the morning, but Minho didn’t ask for him until three am. 

Who goes home that late anyway?

Maybe Minho had been pulling overtimes for that project.

Or maybe he was with Karen…

Taehyun cursed himself but still thought of what he would do if ever his hunch was true.

Would he let go of Minho? 

He pulled himself up and reached for his cabinet, taking out a little box inside where the gol