Mino sighed as he played around with the computer mouse, dragging the white pointer back and forth across the dimmed screen. He was scrunched up on his squeaky office chair and uncomfortably leaning over the broad desk on perched elbows. It was late and he was tired, yet here he still sat. Alone and bored, half hazardously reading through the comments that kept flowing past his dull eyes in a pace far to quick for him to even begin to interpret.

It was only a little past one, he couldn’t go home just yet and crawling over to the black couch in the corner to fall soundlessly asleep was out of the question. He couldn’t let up, not until he knew his fans were fully enjoying his new release. Besides sleep was for the weak. At least that’s what he’s been told, what’s been drilled into his head since the beginning. If you slept that could be you missing an opportunity, missing out on a chance at fame.

He's clearly not thinking straight and right now his poor excuse of a brain is nothing more than a mushy mess. Things were all starting to blend together, mix around until Mino couldn’t decipher where certain ideas had come from. Where they started, or where they were going to end.

It was all becoming so confusing.    

A scattering pit of … of everything and tonight Mino feels as though it is all hitting him in one go, like one quick painful punch to the skull. As if that slowly building wave of emotion was suddenly crashing overtop of him and every bit of stress were anchors latching on to his flailing limbs. Drowning him and filling his lungs with toxic thoughts.

Or maybe he was just feeling sentimental tonight.

Don’t get him wrong, the high of his video being out was still there. Still forcing his heart to beat a little faster and toes to curl a little tighter. He was having trouble believing that a song he had poured everything into was being streamed by so many and proudly branded with the YG name. he worked hard on that song, practically slaved over it until both himself and sajangnim found it acceptable. It was Song Mino’s release, his personal dark and sinful emotions that he was now sharing with thousands of listening ears through the power of music. Something that should be pleasing. But with every pro comes a con. He couldn’t bask in an altered nirvana forever, he had to accept his fate one way or another.

Stress had always been the unwritten knowledge of the contract that was held like shackles in front of his eyes and Mino felt the added pressure that had been put on him from the start. The pressure to do great, to be better and honestly it annoyed him. He hated YG’s logic, the infamous motto that came with the brand and he despised the thick bars he felt imprisoned him. That took his sense of humanity away.

Mino pouted and flicked the straw to his warm iced americano, watching the plastic bob in a circle. He should be happy, ecstatic that sajangnim was allowing him to get back into the groove and be active again. But, he wasn’t happy. He wasn’t quite sure when he had last felt happy, felt like he was completely okay and not internally crumbling with stifling depression. The last time he was himself and not the faint remnants of what was once Song Mino. When he last felt the rush of being remotely alive and not this living zombie going through their fixed routine.

If only he wasn’t shaking. Wasn’t chanting those lyrics that weren’t only an evil whisper, but incoherent pained deaf screams crying for … well, crying for him.

The song itself in Mino’s eyes was sickening, a balled of a heartbroken man who had the weight of one bad mistake and a silver tongue over his shoulders. A man who was shamelessly begging his lover to come back to him, pleading with witty lines and connecting words. It made his skin crawl with distaste. However, this was the only idea he could come up with, a last resort. His finale cry for forgiveness and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass him by.

He huffed.

What if Seunghoon refused to even listen to the song? If he decided to brush it off because it was indeed Mino’s and Mino was the one that had hurt him.  He prayed that Seunghoon had at least given it one listen. The song was raw and held true honest feelings that had been rubbing just under Mino's skin for months now, tearing small gashes into his already deteriorating body. Things he couldn’t take back now and couldn’t say weren’t sincere anymore. He had always been against lying in the first place and besides that song meant everything to him.

It was so much a piece of him that he debated even recording it, let alone releasing it. Yes, the studio version was far from the original, but it was still cut from the same sinister emotion and those words were only ever intended for one person. They were sacred, something Mino was still contesting as the right choice. But hey, he was an idiotic man notorious for making rash decisions, it was his character. He accepted that, lived his whole life as that little insecure boy who had his head in the clouds and eye on the prize. He was irrational and he wondered if sajangnim knew what that song genuinely meant.

Knew that Mino was secretly wallowing in loneliness and immodestly admitting to such an acidic yearning. That he was slowly being suffocated by the missing hands of his ex lover. Only those who knew what they were looking for would fully appreciate it, would hopefully be able to feel the despair he was immersed in.

It was the only way Mino found himself able to voice his decaying selfish want. He wanted Seunghoon to come back, craved the man’s attention more than he could crave any overly addictive substance. He was going crazy, no Seunghoon was making him crazy and Mino was so over it. So over laying in a cold bed at night in an alcoholic haze, wishing for an answer to why Seunghoon wont answer his calls, his texts, his soft knocks on the wall where he knows Seunghoon’s head is resting. And maybe he’s a fool for thinking as simple blend of words wold do the trick, would bring Seunghoon scurrying back to him with his tail between his legs. For Seunghoon to come and say he forgives him. Because hidden apologies are pretty freakin cool and that song was pretty freakin good. Well, at least Mino thought so. Why wouldn’t Seunghoon come?  He's secretly yearning for Seunghoon to come and see him. Not only cause Mino’s lyrics begged him to, but because Mino wants to believe that Seunghoon is missing him just as much as he himself is.

Mino’s longing for him and its killing him to have to wait. Though, when it comes down to it. Mino would wait for all of time if that’s what Seunghoon desired, if that was what it took to have him back.

He sighs and lays his cheek down on the cool glass of the desk. He’s so tired. Tired of not being good enough for anyone, for not being one of those strong men the media praised as ideal and being so weak, so unwanted. He doesn’t even care if Seunghoon is willing to forgive him, being able to see him is enough for now. To once again bask in his best friend's calming presence that always had the ability to ease his anxieties and to gaze at the man's bewitching features that always had him flowing with amorousness. Mino’s past the point of being desperate, he’s deranged. Nothing more than a chained dog, foaming at the mouth and baring shinning sharp teeth. He’s sick of sitting around, of rolling over and waiting patiently. He’s already begging, weeping for something to happen and he can’t help but wonder what more Seunghoon wants.

What more he needs to do for that man to look at him with the same loving eyes he use to carelessly bestow upon him everyday. The look Mino remembers Jinwoo and the others poking fun at frequently. Remembering it, hurts. Makes him want to cleanse every memory he has of the older, because every time he thinks about it he feels the aching pain in the hollow of his chest and the tears he knows they cause. The ones that flow down his cheeks are poisonous, burning with regret.

The only gift Mino could ever ask for and that is for Seunghoon to love him again, because frankly Mino never stopped loving him. Never will.

There’s a shallow knock and Mino jumps up from where he was slumped against his desk. The chair squeaks out as he turns towards the door and he seriously needs to talk to someone about getting this damn chair fixed. Mino’s frozen, he doesn’t want to open the door and be disappointed, but at the same time he doesn’t want to open it and be surprised. He’s pleading for Seunghoon to be the one standing behind that door and he can feel his heart nervously bang against his ribs. He pats down his ruffled hair and wipes the dribble of drool off his chin. Oh god what is he doing, he needs to get that door open.

He wheels the chair over to unlock the wood door. It was a condescending habit he had gotten into when he joined the YG family. As much as he hated being caged, he loved it. When it came to song writing, he liked being locked up in his very own self created chamber. To have the ability and privacy to force every once of every ugly emotion he could out. To be granted alone time from the bustle of being an idol and pressures of being that strong man the media craved, that very man everyone expected him to be.

The only thing keeping him from reality and from the person patiently waiting for him on the other side, was the paper-thin door.

He didn’t need to think, to contemplate it any further, because he's entirely into deep to back out. he wraps his hands around the door knob and turns it, the metal cooling his heated hands. He closes his eyes and prays that the only man he wants to see tonight is standing there in all his beautiful glory.

As soon as he opens his wishing eyes he came face to face with Seunghoon, who stood there with glowing red cheeks and two bags of what could only be take out. Mino looks him up and down, takes in the other's rather sluggish appearance. A face mask was thrown over his pale fresh faced skin and Mino can practically feel the blue eye bags the older is sporting, believes he carrying similar ones.

Mino can’t distinguish what to do and he’s stuck awkwardly gawking up at the older in disbelief. Disbelief that all his wishing came true and that Seunghoon’s here, willingly gifting Mino with his presence. Mino needs to hold back the urge to fall to his knees and cry that he’s happy he came into Seunghoon’s lovely thighs. To let it all out before it all becomes just a distant dream. However, he is still a prideful man. So, he only sits there speechless and blinking up at the taller male. Waiting.

“I… uh … I brought you this and I …”

“I thought I gave you a key” Mino states to stop Seunghoon’s stuttering sentence and swerves back to his desk, allowing Seunghoon entrance into the small studio. He wants to punch himself and hopes that at least looked cooler then how stupid he feels it was.

Oh man. He grips the edge of the glass desk, his curled fingers turning white from the force. He’s beyond ready for this, he wants Seunghoon to know everything before he leaves.

He turns around in that god forsaken squeaky chair and eyes Seunghoon with determination. He’ll be damned if he lets Seunghoon go again. Doesn't believe he will, because Seunghoon looks too good tonight with his slight bed head hair and Mino swears his heart working in overdrive, pushing sweet lust filled blood throughout his body. It has been how long since their fight and how long since they stopped their secret affair in its blossoming tracks?

How can Seunghoon be so perfect? It still surprises him how effortlessly Seunghoon can take his breath away, make him stutter out jumbled thoughts of feelings and love. How he can make him overall feel weightless, like a thousand fluttering butterflies were carrying him up and away to places only Seunghoon could. Mino was so whipped, so love struck and he honestly loves it. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

He watches as Seunghoon drops the bags on the table and plops down on the couch. Mino doesn’t even question the fact that Seunghoon has brought to full bags of take out at one thirty in the morning. Doesn’t need to.

They sit there, silently fighting over who will be the first to speak and break this air tight seal. Mino knows he’s stubborn, but Seunghoon, he could hold on to something far longer than Mino could even remember it existed. Could give Mino the silent treatment until Mino was cracking and saying sorry for something he could have sworn he was right about. But this was different, this was something he doubts he’ll ever forget. Something that will be held above his head until Seunghoon allows it not to matter.

Mino can’t take his eyes off him. As much as he wants to start wailing apologies, he waits. Waits because he knows there’s a time and place for everything. He’s contempt right now with just being able to look. Mino can see that Seunghoon is tired, the male’s head is pointed at the ground and his hands are at his thighs, tightly gripping at his very unflattering pajama bottoms. The ones which Mino found undoubtedly cute by the way.

Mino wants to go over there and take him into his arms and whisper everything he hadn’t had the nerve to say. Hadn’t had the nerve to admit until tonight. To tell Seunghoon he was so sorry and that, that girl meant nothing. Tell him he only ever fancied him from the beginning, that not one soul could compare to the brightness and beauty of his own. That no matter what, he would with out a doubt be Mino’s first pick. It was an obvious no brainer.

He knows how hurt Seunghoon is and how hard he had cried that night, since Mino sat there and listened until the early hours of the morning. How Seunghoon lied when he told the others everything between them was okay, that he was okay, because Mino knew Seunghoon and he couldn’t get that sickeningly fake smile out of his head. But Mino was lying too when he agreed, telling them that they just needed a break and that everything was okay. That they would be okay and that he hadn’t been secretly dying with every hurt glance Seunghoon casted in his direction, or every time Seunghoon left the room when he showed up.

Mino was weak, he needed affection and physical appraisal and he only ever hungered for Seunghoon’s. he hated the silence, he wanted Seunghoon to laugh, to tell him jokes when he was feeling stressed, to play with his hair and tell him all about his day again.

Mino knew Seunghoon probably better than anyone else and he knew that his strong willed hyung would sit there quietly until Mino made the first move. Until Mino admitted he was wrong and Mino didn’t care anymore, didn't have to pretend to be strong. He had already given Seunghoon everything the minute they shared their first kiss and whispered their first ‘I love you’ in the stillness of a sleeping dorm.

“Hyung” Mino cut in, looking up at his broken best friend, his hurt ex lover and the man that meant the world to him. Mino didn’t want to see him upset, he hated it.

“Ya?” Seunghoon breathlessly utters and Mino hates that he loves hearing Seunghoon’s speech so strained.  “Did you listen to my song?” he asks and he can hear the eagerness dripping from his scratchy voice. The older only nods his head and Mino can see the tears dropping, watches them soak into the pink plaid of his pants. Mino would be panicked, but he’s seen these tears a thousand times, been the one creating them since the beginning. Every little salted bead that glide down Seunghoon's cheek is a rusted shard stabbing at Mino’s already beaten up heart and he’s scared because he doesn’t know why Seunghoon is crying. Why he ever cried, because he has always been to good for Mino and Mino thought he knew that.

However, he knows he can’t sit around and watch it happen like had for so long now. He wants to understand Seunghoon and for Seunghoon to understand him back. For them to be okay again. He knows he can’t take back what has happened, but they can try to move past it. Can’t they?

He needs to do something before its to late, before Seunghoon officially leaves and never comes back.

He gets up and walks over to the couch, carefully sitting down beside Seunghoon. He doesn’t want to scare the man, for Seunghoon to run away. Mino pulls him into his side and hugs Seunghoon tight, not giving him the option to back out.

“It’s a really great song.” Seunghoon hiccups, burying his face in Mino’s chest and Mino wraps his arms tighter around Seunghoon’s waist. Mino wonders if he Seunghoon knows that song has his name etched into every verse, every lyric. Understands that while he was locked away creating, mixing his words around to form an art piece everyone could be satisfied with. All Mino could get out were haunting memories of his smile, his laugh, his voice faintly calling his name in a lust Mino had destroyed. These walls were bouncing with Seunghoon’s essence, his very being and it was strangling Mino with every minute he spent confined in it.

He could never fully remove the picture of Seunghoon spread so open on this very couch. How Seunghoon’s love had the capability to linger, to corrode his mind with every new thought. Every lyric.

Mino loved his song for that very reason, he loved the ness of his words and pure need he had embodied. He was an artist and Seunghoon was the metaphor, the hidden message that only those who looked far enough, knew enough could understand. He wrote with one thing in mind and that was Seunghoon. It was the only way he knew how to openly say what he needed to, the only way his words fit together and made sense. His one of a kind apology.

He feels Seunghoon has him wrapped around his slim fingers and Mino’s okay with that. Wouldn’t wish for anything else and may he be damned if he ever makes the same mistake again. He can see himself spending the rest of time with this man.

Mino wonders of Seunghoon knows how him leaving set his world ablaze in a hell filled with seething heartbreak and a voice chanting that he was a ing idiot for ever allowing that girl to coax him into taking him home. If Seunghoon fathoms how much Mino loves him.

“Seunghoon. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend that this never happened, that we never happened. We need to talk about us, cause I freakin miss being able to hold you after a long day and I miss your surprise visits here and I really miss how you always smell so good.” Mino realizes he’s rambling on and that he’s not grasping what he’s trying to say, but it’s a start… its something.

Seunghoon looks up, red wet eyes meeting Mino’s and a smile playing on his lips. Mino doesn’t know when he discarded his mask, but he’s glad its gone.

“What else do you miss?” he questions, not looking away and Mino will tell him anything he wants to hear if that means Seunghoon will continue to smile.

“I miss everything.” Mino leans down. “I miss you.” He whispers into Seunghoon’s hair. “And I’m truly sorry.” He hates that he sounds so submissive, that Seunghoon has created this puddle of mixed emotions within him, but its okay cause he’s ready to give Seunghoon every piece of himself. He’s crazy in love and its all Seunghoon’s fault anyway. Being this close is throwing him into a frenzy of built up tension and he can feel his mental guards straining to keep him in line.  

Mino doesn’t even register Seunghoon pushing him down until the older male his straddling his hips. “And what if I say I miss you too?” Seunghoon softly says, leaning down so their chests are flush together.

“Then I’d say that we better makeup and date, so I can you and not be judged for it.” Mino smirks and raises his brows. He doesn’t care anymore, he’s missed Seunghoon too much and he can’t deny the fact that he wants to jump the older, he always does. If this is Seunghoon’s way of forgiving him, Mino will take it and Mino will do anything to keep Seunghoon completely happy.

“Well then I’d say you better not be ing around. And I mean that figuratively and literally.” Seunghoon sternly mutters, poking Mino’s cheek and Mino can feel his hot breath hitting his lips.

“Absolutely not!” he says and he can’t hold back anymore. He leans up and kisses Seunghoon like he hadn’t kissed the other in forever, because he hasn’t and he missed these sweet lips. He slides his hands down Seunghoon’s back and all the way down to massage those plush thighs. He loves these thighs way too much and right now he hates the roughness of the bottoms he’s feeling instead of soft skin. He remembers everything, how could he not?

He can’t stop kissing Seunghoon, he at the older boy’s lips and when he feels them spread open, he doesn’t hesitate entering. Lapping up and rememorizing the almost forgotten crevice. He runs his tongue along Seunghoon and he knows he’s done for when that lovely moan that escapes Seunghoon’s lips has his mind clouding with arousal. Mino loves that a simple sound from Seunghoon can turn him on to no end.

He sits up and continues to carry Seunghoon with him until Seunghoon is laying flat on his back and his legs are loosely hooked around Mino’s waist. There’s no time to talk, to work out the details of what this means, of what they are now, because Mino had been dying to have Seunghoon like this again and he wants to cherish every second of it.

He lifts Seunghoon’s shirt, sliding the piece up and off. Reviling pink pale skin and a sculpted body Mino had thought he would never see again. He loves Seunghoon’s body too ing much. He leans down laying feather like kisses across Seunghoon’s collar bones, biting lightly at the skin. Each mark he makes he earns a sweet hum of approval and its gratifying. He wants to show Seunghoon how much he loves him, how much he needs him and that Seunghoon fully owns him.

He a path down Seunghoon’s chest stopping at his erect s. He a circle around one pink bud. “Ah .” Seunghoon breaths out. Mino knows every special spot on this man and he wants Seunghoon to whither under him, to keep ghosting soft intoxicating noises into the steaming air. Mino can feel Seunghoon’s clothed close to his own and its making it entirely hard for him to go slow. It makes his hard member grow increasing painful in his tight pants. He wants to draw out every sound, every jump of pleasure, every slurred sentence from Seunghoon. To outright devour him.

He can only focus on Seunghoon and he hopes he can at least control himself a little longer. He doesn’t even hear the door click open, or the gasp from an unknown presence. Not until Seunghoon is pushing him up and hugging his back to conceal his exposed chest.

“Wow, I thought Seunghoon hyung would be harder to please.” Bobby laughs from his standing spot at the door. Mino’s shocked, but he’s not embarrassed. He feels Seunghoon’s head fall to his shoulder as he lets out a distressed whine.

“Bobby, why are you still here?” Mino sighs. “Because you two just got me a load of cash and I need proof.” y says, snapping a picture with his phone and running out of the studio laughing.

“Oh god. They’ve been betting on us.” Seunghoon whispers pulling away from Mino, who gets up to lock the door. “Mino maybe we should just eat.” Seunghoon says, he looks so cute when he’s flustered and Mino wants to rub his pink cheeks until they're chafed and sore.

“Are you kidding me. Not going to happen.” He slyly says, walking over and pushing Seunghoon back down on the soft couch. He pulls at the pajama pants, gliding the fabric effortlessly off Seunghoon’s long legs.

“I’m going to show you just how much I missed you.” He states, crawling on top of Seunghoon and kissing him deeply.

“Show you just how crazy you make me.” 

- Breaking Boundaries