Idol Dating

It has been a couple of weeks since Kyungsoo last saw Sana at the photoshoot. He misses her badly but he has no idea how to meet her. Although technically they are ‘dating’, they have never discussed about officially going out and have never met outside of any coincidental schedule. He was in his room staring at his phone. He wanted to call her but he worries if he sounded too needy. He wants to be a cool oppa to her after all. He stared at her number before gathering up his courage to give her a call. The call rang a couple of times before someone picks up the phone.

SN: Opppaaaa (Sana greeted him affectionately.)

Kyungsoo melts the moment he heard her voice. He cleared before asking the usual.

DO: Am I disturbing you right now?

SN: Ani… don’t worry. I wouldn’t answer your call if I am busy.  (She assures him cutely.) Have you taken your dinner?

DO: I just did. (He replied robotically as per normal.)

SN: You are cute oppa… You sound robotic… (She teases him.)

DO: Ani… you are cuter.

SN: My comeback is nearing. We had a couple of recordings already.

DO: Gurei…. Sana ah… (His voice shook a little.)

SN: Nei oppa…. You have something to ask me?

DO: Uhmmm…

SN: Go on…

DO: Do you…

SN: Do I what?

DO: Errrr……doyoumissme? (He answered like a bullet train.)

SN: Huh…. What did you say…? Mianhe… can you ask again?

DO: Uhmmm…..never mind.  (He sighed as though he is defeated by his own timid self.)

SN: Oppa….

DO: Neh….

SN: Remember… I told you before that you can ask me anything and I will answer you as honestly as I could.

DO: Of course I remember….

SN: Then go ahead and ask me what you wanted to ask just now.

DO: Never mind forget it.

Honestly Sana HATES it when he does that. After knowing him all these while, she realizes he is one who likes to keep everything to himself. While she understands him, a part of her wishes that he could give in and rely on her.

Sana didn’t respond to his words.

DO: You there….

SN: Uhmmm… (She responds lightly.)

Kyungsoo could sense that she is feeling a little irritated. He knows he does this too her way too frequently. For some reason every single time he talks to her, his heartbeat accelerates.

DO: What schedule do you have tomorrow?

SN: I have a photoshoot oppa. (She replied with her tone sounding down.)

DO: Mianhe….

SN: For what?

DO: For always doing this. For always not completing my sentences when we talked. For leaving you hanging with lots of questions.

SN: Ara… I understand.

DO: You do….

SN: I do… Maybe we are not close enough to talk about things. (She answered earnestly.)

One thing is for sure, Kyungsoo never made it clear whether she is his girlfriend. While she tries to text him frequently, he does it once in a while. She do not want to live in her own fantasy world.

DO: Please don’t say that…. (Kyungsoo panics.)

Kyungsoo have never been in relationship. He was and is as blank as he can be. He don’t even know what to do in a relationship. When Sana said those words, his heart panics.

SN: Oppa… I am tired. We’ll talk another day arraso. I want to wash up and sleep. You take care. (She said before hanging up.)

Kyungsoo blinked many times as he stares at his phone. He didn’t know what had happened. More like he didn’t understand what has happened. Kai who just entered the room threw a cushion at him startling the blank guy.

KAI: What is wrong hyung?

DO: She hung up on me…

KAI: Sana sshi?

DO: Neh…

KAI: Woah... is this your first couple fight?

DO: Couple fight?

KAI: You know when people are in a relationship… They fight to understand each other better…

DO: They do….

KAI: Omg hyung, you have a lot to learn.

DO: Shut up maknae!

KAI: But seriously hyung when did you actually ask her out? We were kind of surprised when you said you are dating her when we had that shoot at the same venue with TWICE.

DO: No date.

KAI: What do you mean no date?

DO: I don’t know. I just like her. That’s all.

KAI: You never officially ask her to be your girlfriend and yet you kissed her?

DO: Ya… And why do you look so shock? It’s not really a big deal.

KAI: You think???

DO: She should know…

KAI: What do you mean she should know? Have you never been honest to her about your feelings?

DO: Feelings are meant to be felt.

KAI: True but certainty is important too. Hyung … I can’t believe you never told her your feelings.

DO: What’s unbelievable about it?

KAI: I am surprised she still wants to talk to you. You guys only meet when we have schedule. You don’t go out on dates. So if one day someone pursues her, which I am sure there are, she can accept their feelings because after all there is nothing going on with you and her.

DO: Shut up maknae!  (He shouted at Kai before grabbing his bag before leaving the room.)

Kyungsoo decided to go to his house. Lucky for him, his mum was just about to set up the table for dinner. Once dinner ended, he went to his room and lie on his bed. He didn’t realize when his mum sat at the foot of the bed.

DOM: Kyungsoo ah…. What is bothering you?

DO: Ani… I’m fine.

DOM: I’m your oma. I know you are bothered.

DO: I’m fine.

DOM: If you say so… But just so you know my son, you must learn to be honest about your feelings. If you can’t be honest about your own feelings, don’t expect people to understand you. (His mum said as she gave him a kiss.)

DO: Oma….

DOM: Arraso… are you sleeping over?

DO: I got to go back to the dorm later.

DOM: Okay … jut lock up later.

Kyungsoo understood every single thing his mum said. He actually understood very well what Kai meant. He has every intention of being honest to Sana but he don’t know where to start. He push asides those feeling. He wants to believe that no other guys will fall for Sana or will pursue her.

He was at the dorm lying down on his bed even though it was in the afternoon. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t sleep well. He kept on thinking about Sana. Suddenly he received notification on his VAPP. TWICE has a live broadcast. He was pleasantly surprised to see Sana doing it. He watches her closely and could see how affectionate she is with her members. She literally kisses everyone especially TWICE leader Jihyo. Sana kissed Jihyo like a couple of times. Kyungsoo felt jealous. He wishes it was him.

He wishes that he is the one she hugs and he is the one she kisses. He shrugged off the feelings. He was glad to know that ISAC chose Sana to be an emcee. However it quickly turned to unhappiness when he saw the telecast. He could see how the other boys and men had their eyes on her. Then when he saw some of them whom she interviewed gave her such a cute smile, he started to feel worry.

That’s it. He couldn’t wait any longer.

He send her a message.

DO: Sana ah…

He waited and waited. He saw the blue tick. He knew she read the message but wasn’t sure why she wasn’t responding. 15 minutes later, she finally replied and he immediately called her.

SN: Neh oppa…

DO: Are you having schedules now?

SN: I just ended practice. I’m heading back to the dorm with Mina and Jihyo because the rest has other schedules. Why?

DO: You seemed happy to interview those guys!

SN: Excuse me?

DO: Your voice started to get all cutesy and flirty with the boys. Don’t deny it, I saw it on television.

SN: What are you trying to say oppa?

He was a little taken aback by the seriousness of her voice.

DO: What I was trying to say was that, I thought you were only cute to me but apparently, you are like that to all the boys. (He attempted to sound nonchalant but actually his tone is enough to anger Sana.)

SN: Oppa, are you saying that I am a ? (She asked not beating around the bush.)

DO: I don’t mean it like that.  I was just saying that you are too comfortable with the other boys that perhaps you don’t know your boundary.

SN: Boundary?

DO: Ya, boundary. Be careful, people make just mistook you as a big flirt.

SN: Oh, I didn’t know you thought so lowly of me.

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to say to salvage the situation.

DO: Ani…. I’m just saying. I didn’t actually mean it that way. (He tried to ease the tension.)

Sana was speechless. Mina who happened to be at her side couldn’t believe that cheerful Sana was tearing up.

DO: Hello… you there?

SN: Mianhe… I didn’t know that you think I’m a . Sorry I wasn’t worth that much.

DO: Ani….Sana ah... I didn’t say you are a . Please don’t take it the wrong way.

Sana hangs up the phone and texted him out of anger.

SN: Mianhe sunbae, I no longer feel comfortable talking to you. It was nice knowing you sunbae. (Sana switched back to speaking formally with him.)

Kyungsoo couldn’t explain what had just happened. He just realized that in that moment, Sana have switched back to formal language with him. He may not understand why but he knew at that moment, he had hurt Sana.

He called her. She rejected his calls. He sent her a message but no longer receives a reply. He slammed his phone to the wall startling Kai who just entered the room. Kai picked up his phone.

KAI: Hyung wei Gurei? (The maknae asked as he puts the phone just beside Kyungsoo.)

DO: I screwed up. (He confesses as he shows Kai the chat window.)

KAI: You said that to her. Heol… How come you become so mean?

DO: Ani… I wasn’t. I was just asking that’s all.

KAI: Honestly that was rude hyung. Why do you even ask that in the first place?

DO: I am just stating a fact. You should see how those guys were checking her out.

KAI: You are jealous. You don’t tell her your feeling. Yet you accused her of the ‘said’ behaviour. If I were her, I wouldn’t even want to talk you ever again.

DO: Huh… what the hell?

KAI: Say sorry hyung…. You will regret it if you don’t.

The next morning, the first thing Kyungsoo checked was his phone. To his disappointment, Sana didn’t return his calls nor reply to any of his messages. This situation frustrates him. He checked online to see that TWICE has left for Japan for JYP Nation concert.

Kyungsoo grew more irritated when he saw her on VAPP. He wondered how she managed to look fine and unaffected.

To date, it has been 2 months since they last spoke and texted each other. Although he still texted her asking how she was doing, Sana has never replied. Kyungsoo was disappointed in himself. How could he let his word hurt his lover?

We Don’t Talk Anymore

Kyungsoo was excited to find out that TWICE will be performing at the same music festival. Unlike music broadcast, hoobae groups have to greet them. However for Music Festivals they don’t have to do it. That annoyed him even more because it meant one less chance of meeting her. TWICE dressing tent was just a couple tents away from EXO’s. Kyungsoo has been pacing around hoping to see her but nothing. He was on stage doing rehearsal when he saw her at the side of the stage putting on her microphone and audio device. He tried to look at her but he could feel that she purposely is ignoring any form of eye contact. He wanted to talk to her but sadly, he had to exit the stage by the other staircase.

He was already dressed up with make-up. He was lingering around the aisle praying that she would see him.

SH: Hyung, Kai told me what happened.

DO: Uhmmm … so…

SH: Are you going to apologize to her?

DO: I want to…. But I don’t think she even wants to talk to me.

SH: Just don’t give up. I didn’t give up on Mina. Now she is nicer to me.

DO: I just…

SH: Hyung… Sana….

Kyungsoo immediately turned. Sana was walking with her manager unnie. She avoided all eye contact with him. She only slightly bowed a little.

DO turn around and threw a punch at the wall. He is just frustrated with his own self for getting into this mess. Sehun saw that there were blood stains on the wall.

SH: Hyung, how are you going to dance with your hands like that.

DO: I don’t care. (He said before storming off somewhere.)

Little Help

Sehun quickly texted Mina.

SH: Minari…

MN: Neh oppa…

SH: Kyungsoo hyung injured himself. He punched the wall and scraped his fist.

MN: So…??? If you are asking a favour to get Sana to meet him, I won’t entertain.

SH: I know you are angry at him. But seriously he didn’t mean it.

MN: What do you want me to do then?

SH: Maybe you could drop hints to Sana that he injured himself.

MN: I’ll see first.

Mina sat herself beside Sana who was listening to GOT7’s new album. Mina nudged her softly.

SN: Uhmmm…

MN: I heard Kyungsoo sunbaenim injured himself.

Sana immediately turned to Mina.

SN: Ani… I shouldn’t even think about him.

MN: Well his hands is bleeding because he punched a wall out of frustration.

Sana warned the girls not to talk about him any longer but she worries about him.

SN: Mina….lets head to the toilet.

MN: You sure…

SN: I just need to see if his injury was that bad.

Mina understood her what she meant and quickly texted Sehun about it. Sehun urged Kyungsoo to follow him to toilet to wash his hands before applying ointment and bandaging it up. By God’s grace, they met at the entrance of the toilet. Kyungsoo’s frown turn to hope when he saw Sana observing the injury on his hand. However, his smile fade away when Sana just pulled Mina into the toilet.

MN: Boyah… Why did you suddenly pull me?

SN: You arranged this right?

MN: I did…

SN: Why?

MN: Because I know you miss him and worry about him. (Mina wiped Sana’s tears.)

SN: But he hurt me.

MN: Sehun did too. And I remember what you said…. Sometimes people we love the most are the one that hurts us the most.

SN: Ara… I remember… I hate the fact that I still worry about him.

Mina gave her unnie a hug and rubs her back to soothe her sadness. They walk out of the toilet and saw Sehun trying to bandage Kyungsoo’s hand. By the side of the window. Who does that? Sana knew that they purposely linger around. Mina wanted to stop as ask but Sana pulled her away. However Kyungsoo wasn’t having any of that. He grabs Sana’s wrist and dragged her into the fire exit. (Like where else can they go right?)

Mina and Sehun went after the couple. When the fire exit closes, Sehun was the first to open his mouth.

SH: Hyung, micho? You’re crazy. What if someone saw what you did?

DO: Mianhe… I was at my wits end. What else was I supposed to do?

Sana tried to pull her hands away buy Kyungsoo’s grip got tighter.

DO: Don’t pull, you’re going to hurt your wrist further. Err guys I need to talk to her for a couple of minutes. Can you leave?

MN: We’ll wait here. Why don’t you guys move a level down?

Kyungsoo nodded as he pulls Sana gently with him. A level down later, Kyungsoo let go of her wrist and sat her down on the staircase. She did but still refused to look at him. He then took a seat next to her. He pulls her hand and put the first aid kit on her hands. Sana looked at the first aid kit and turn to look at his knuckles that’s already covered with dry blood. Without looking at him, she took out a packet of gauze and saline solution. She began cleaning his wounds. He yelps a little. Sana’s eyes was only on his wound. Kyungsoo reached out his left hand to her chin and lifted it a little just so he could look at her in the eyes. Sana pushed his hands away and return her focus to his hand. She took out the roller bandage and rolled it around his hand.

DO: Mianhe… I hurt you.

He observed for a reaction from her but received nothing.

DO: I know you have every right to be angry at me. Could you forgive me just this once?

Kyungsoo suddenly saw teardrops wet the bandage around his hand. He lifted Sana’s chin and saw tears rolling down her cheeks. Sana try to look away. He pulls her face softly facing him as he wipes away her tears. He can’t believe he hurt her. Sana avoided looking at him in the eyes. Kyungsoo slowly leans in and his lip finally lands on hers. Sana was speechless. She was frozen but she managed to close her eyes. When he pulls away his forehead rested on hers.

DO: Mianhe Sana yah… I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are too precious for my horrible self.

SN: Ani oppa, you are never horrible in my eyes. (She assures him as she looks at him in the eyes.)

Kyungsoo embraced her tightly and Sana rested her head on her shoulders. Somewhere above, Mina and Sehun were spying on the two. Mina teared up when Sana and Kyungsoo finally made up. She felt Sehun’s arm around her waist. With a tug, Sehun pulls her closely.

SH: Aigoo my Minari … Wei… why are you crying?

MN: Ani… I am just touched by Kyungsoo’s oppa care for Sana unnie. I wish I have someone who loves me as much as he does.

SH: Minari….

MN: I know you have forgiven me and all but can’t you really find a space in your heart to accept me?

Mina stared into Sehun’s eyes. He was baring his soul to her. Too bad, her phone rang. In seconds, Mina ran and grabbed Sana.

MN: Mianhe oppa… Manager Unnie is looking for us.

Kyungsoo couldn’t react fast enough. He could only sigh that their reunion was such a short one.

DO: Boyah! Why do you look constipated?

SH: I’m just worried about my relationship with Mina. Technically she have not answered my ‘proposal’. I want us to date. However from the looks of it, she is still very much afraid to start a relationship with me.

DO: Ahh why worry… I have not even confessed to Sana.

SH: Whattttt? And you guys kissed already?

DO: Errrr Uhuh….

Sehun couldn’t believe his ears. He pouts thinking about his relationship with Mina.

Sweet & Easy

Kyungsoo dialled her number praying that she would answer his call. She did.

SN: Anyeong oppa…. (She sounded like she just woke up. And she sound a tad too y.)

DO: Sana ya…. You’re asleep?

SN: I just dozed off as I was reading a book just now.

DO: Do you want to meet? (He asked anxiously as he awaits her reply.)

SN: Now?

DO: I could fetch you.

It was close to 1am when Sana sneaked out of the house with the help of Nayeon and Mina. Thank goodness her manager already went to bed. She was in her pink elephant wonzie. She just covered it with a down jacket. She entered his car and quickly closed the door. He hands over a cup of hot chocolate to her.

SN: Gomawo…

DO: You look cute in that wonzie. (He praised her honestly.)

Sana turned and looked at Kyungsoo. Without make up his skin looks very tired. She reaches out for his face softly examining his tired look.

SN: Oppa, you haven’t had much rest right? You look very tired.

DO: Neh…I love your hair. I love the streaks of colour. Your comeback is approaching right?

SN: Uhuh…. Very soon….

Kyungsoo was driving around just to spend time with Sana. When they reach somewhere which they don’t know where, silence engulf the car.

DO: Did you….

Sana waited. She hopes he will not stop and change the topic again.

DO: Did you miss me?

Sana smiles.

SN: Nomu bogoshipo… (She said soft.)

Kyungsoo scratched his head and playfully glee at her.

DO: Me too…

Sana became bashful and looks out the window.

DO: You know I am very clueless about this whole dating thing.

SN: Indeed you are.

DO: I don’t know how to lead in a relationship but I don’t want you to feel that I don’t love you enough.

SN: You love me? (Sana asked feeling shocked to hear him confessed his feelings.)

DO: It has always been you. No one else.

Sana teared at the sincere confession. Kyungsoo reached out to wipe away her tears.

DO: Sana ah…

SN: Neh oppa….

DO: Let’s date … I mean officially.

SN: I thought you wouldn’t ask… (She whispered softly before planting a soft kiss on his cheeks.)

It was Kyungsoo’s turn to blush. He reaches for her hand and their fingers entwine as he pulls her close to him. Sana rested her head on his shoulders.

DO: You know this won’t be easy… But let’s not give up and never stop trying arraso?

SN: It’s going to be lot of hard work oppa but let this be one of the best thing we ever work hard for.

DO: Let’s hold each other’s hand and heart as we move forward okay…

SN: Neh… Gomawo oppa….

DO: For what?

SN: For loving me…

DO: Gomawo to you too.

SN: For?

DO: For accepting the Blank me…

SN: You’ll forever be my blank oppa….