A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to those who have once thought of attempting suicide. You are not alone and please don't do it. I've been there and I understand. Anyway, Suzy came to my mind and I just thought that the character suits her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suzy doesn’t know exactly why she is here at the top of the company’s building in the middle of the night.

The sounds of the clanking of the glass material reaches to her ears as she drags the white plastic bag across the wall. Then, she pushes herself up to sit on the edge of the rooftop. For the first time, she feels that she is fearless. She chuckles.

The landscape of the city can be seen clearly as the illuminating lights fill the dark sky. She let out a sudden cheer in excitement at the magnificent view as she hold her arms up. Seeing it from this height indeed makes a huge difference.

“One, two, three.” She counts as she places the bottles of soju next to one another.

Grabbing the nearest one, she opens it swiftly and gulps a mouthful of it down . “Ah…” Surprisingly, it doesn’t burn as much as it used to. She is satisfied because it makes her feels like a true adult. Putting aside the alcohol, she fumbles for her phone in her pocket and dials a number – her only friend.

But she doesn’t answer.

Letting out a sigh, she can only stares. She flinches when the cold wind lands onto her face so ever gently, as if it is trying to blow away the sorrow and melancholy. But she is greedy. She lifts her face up, hoping so much that the wind will take her far away from the harsh reality. She doesn’t like the company of loneliness.

Her vision becomes blurry as tears is built up in her eyes. She takes a deep breath trying to keep them in. Yet, a lone tear still manages to escape.

The world is so cold, she thought. It isn’t how she has pictured it to be.

Looking down at her feet, she watches as vehicles flow through the traffic and notices how people become so little in size – so small that she can barely spot them. All of them seem so insignificant. And then she wonders, what if she just jumps down? Will anyone care if she is not here anymore by the next morning?

Probably not.

People like seeing her on dramas and movies but they forget that she loves singing. People like seeing her in elegant dresses and high heels but they don’t know that she finds comfort in hoodies and converse. People like seeing her smile but they don’t know that she has been crying in the dark where nobody can find her. People like everything about her except for her flaws.

But she is only human.

She once thought that she had everything. She had a career; she had the applause she needed; she had the infinite doting from her member unnies; life had never been so perfect. Then she realised gradually that being at the top is a lonely battle. The stardom and fame had come so abruptly that she wasn’t even at all ready for it.

In the end, she still has to accept it with widened arms.

And now as she bleeds herself trying to mend the broken pieces of their friendship, she reaches her breaking point. She doesn’t know why she is still bothering because they probably won’t care. There is no friendship; only business.

Closing her eyes and gathering her courage, she tries to push herself off. She just needs that one light push. But she stays rooted in her position as her body starts to shiver at the frightening situation. It makes her feels giddy.

“Urg!” She curses mentally at her cowardly self before finishing the bottle of soju.

She opens the second one and forces it down without any hesitation. Because if she can’t die, at least she wants to get drunk even just for tonight. She isn’t going to care about the media or the people anymore. She just wants to be herself.

A ringtone from her phone halts her actions.

“Umma, wae?” She slurs a little and quickly wipes her tears off with her sleeve.

“Suzy ah,” she hears the person on the other line pauses for a while. “Umma knows that you are very busy but it has been months since I’ve last seen you. You have not been appearing on tv and I couldn’t see you. I was worried.”

The sudden confession brings more tears as she covers , trying to muffle her cries.

“I…” she feels her voice trembles. “I’m currently filming a drama.”

“Why do you sound so weird? Are you crying?”

“Aniya, I just got a cold recently.”

“Jinjja? You are not lying to me?”

“Nae, umma.”

“Anyway, work is work but you have to take a rest. Don’t get yourself sick like that. If the manager gave you too much schedules, tell umma. I will complain it to the boss. Arraseo?”

Suzy nods vigorously but she doesn’t answer. She moves the phone away from her ear as she let her tears fall freely and let the concerned voice fades away into the background. Realisation strikes her hard as she thought of her earlier actions. How can she even think of leaving first when her family is still around? They don’t deserve this treatment.

Climbing out of the wall, she dries her remaining tears as she regains her composure. She has to pick herself up because when dawn arrives, she will have to face this damn world again.

She is not alone.