Taeyong takes his dog to a walk through the park, it’s a daily routine that once a day whenever he has a good shift at work or doesn’t have classes, he takes Ruby to the nearest park and lets her do whatever she pleases.

 

It’s late in the afternoon, yet the Sun doesn’t show signs of leaving the sky. “Be nice and take a number two in the leaves, don’t make oppa suffer too much,” Ruby barks and Taeyong takes off her leash and before giving her the ultimate freedom he reminds her “and do it faster, oppa wants to go out tonight.”

 

He lets Ruby go and ignores the bunch of high scholars that are giggling of how much of an idiot he is for talking to a dog like this. Ruby is not just a dog, he would like to argue to the world. She actually understands him, and she also has her own personality.

 

Taeyong wanted to sit on a bench when he observed Ruby went to a guy who is drawing or painting, he is not sure, to ask for attention. “Ruby, stop picking on people in the park, is not nice!” He scolds Ruby pointing his index finger towards her “Hey look, I’m sorry, it does this from time to time.” Taeyong shifts his look to what he figures it is a boy around his age, dressed in a louse blue pastel shirt with a pair of dark trousers, louse as well, his hair is a honey blond shade shorter at the sides and at the back and a bit bigger and spikey on the top.

 

“It’s ok, I’m not bothered, it’s a boy or a girl?” The other boy says ruffling Ruby’s fur which sits next to him grabbing all the attention. “Girl, come on Ruby, let’s get you on the leash.” Taeyong bends to catch Ruby but she barks in protest, once at Taeyong for not wanting to obey and second towards the boy who stopped ruffling her fur.

 

“Ruby is your name?” The boy says going back to please Ruby “Actually it’s Taeyong.” Taeyong stands straight bouncing his wrist. “Oh, but you said it is a girl.” the other asks in confusion “Ohh the dog, yeah, that’s her name, Ruby.” Taeyong’s face turns pink. The boy is pretty good looking but not breathtaking in Taeyong’s eyes, he wonders why is he so distracted.

 

“Her fur is soft, I like it!” Taeil keeps scratching Ruby which only made herself more comfortable at his side. “If you want to get rid of her, you have to stop that, she’s getting addicted.” Taeyong says taking a look at what seems the boy’s sketch “Oh My God!” Taeyong brings a hand to his mouth and with the other picks up the sketch. “You are so good, look at this!” The boy finally takes his eyes away from the dog and looks towards Taeyong “You like it? I’m Taeil, sorry for not introducing myself earlier.” Taeil stretches up his hand for Taeyong to sake.

 

Ruby finally leaves Taeil’s side and goes back to Taeyong which has observed the other’s drawing for a moment. They say their goodbyes with Taeyong apologizing once again for Ruby bothering the other and takes his leave.

 

The next days Taeyong walked Ruby around the same place, every time bumping into Taeil and having Ruby running towards him. They speak now as if they know each other for months, with Taeyong keep complementing Taeil’s drawings, Taeil suggested the other to come see his works.

 

When they reached Taeil’s place Taeyong is just fascinated with his drawings “Dude, you must be in love, like head over heels.” Taeyong looks towards the drawing from last time, with a couple doing caress gestures towards each other. “Nope, actually I’ve never been, I can’t feel it.” Taeil replays.

 

"What do you mean you can't feel it?" Taeyong asks perplexed, "What you heard, I can't feel love-related emotions." The older boy replies with a blank expression. "But you draw it so well, I don't understand!" The younger goes again. "I draw with my hand, Taeyong, not with my heart." The elder says looking through his paintings.

 

The before ecstatic Taeyong is now deep thinking, Taeyong observed that all of the other's paintings are expressing love and supposed the other was in love head over heels, but the other's statement didn't make any sense to him. Taeyong is watching a larger drawing with warm colors which was giving him shivers on a closer study.

 

When Taeil told him about not feeling anything with a straight face Taeyong realized that as the other talks about love his face is expressionless. It was something in Taeil's problem that intrigued Taeyong so much, it was not fitting in Taeyong mind, how someone could never ever felt love before. Taeyong was 20 years old and he's been in love more than 1 million times, he was falling in love on a constant basis.

 

It’s the time of the day to walk Ruby, but this time he knows Taeil is there, he goes straight to him. They sit on a blanket, Taeil has prepared his pencils and sketch, there are people walking around the park but Taeil decides to draw the landscape and the sky this time.

 

"Have you ever dated?" Taeyong asks Taeil. "Yes, but I only dated because it’s normal, I've never had feelings for any of them." Taeyong looks towards the other with an eyebrow raised "No butterflies, no shivers, no nothing?" He asks as if wanted to be contradicted. “Nope, have no idea” He continues to sketch.

 

"OK, maybe you are interested in boys, what about me, look at me, do you get any feeling?" Taeil laughs and Taeyong feels a bit embarrassed. "No, Taeyong, you don't give me that kind of feelings."

 

"Wait, at least try, what do you think when you look at me, 'he's good looking’, ‘he’s a so-so', 'wow he's hot'?" Taeil stares at Taeyong, lips pursed into a thin line "You are handsome Taeyong, I bet you already know it, and people must give you this often, but that's all I can say, you are handsome."

 

"So ok, you like girls, look at that girl, big bobs."

 

"She’s not my type."

 

 "Wow you've never been in love but you have a type, and what's your type?"

 

"Hmm...that one?" Taeyong says scanning through the park.

 

"Yeah, she looks nice.”

 

Taeyong grabs the opportunity  "Oh her, think that she's coming your way 'hey handsome wanna go out?' Then she touches you, gently, is it "rising" your interest?”

 

"What do you mean ‘rising’?" Taeil looks confused.

 

"You know, ‘rising’ your, uhm ‘interest’?"

 

"Can you be more specific?” He looks at the other blankly.

 

"Does she make you hard, idiot?" Taeyong shouts through all the park and there's a bunch of school girls who turn their head towards the boys. They are both red-faced and Taeyong wants to die right there.

 

"Oh like that, umm no, she doesn't."

 

Every time Taeyong is not in someone’s company, he thinks of Taeil’s ‘problem’ and when it keeps him away from sleeping, he curses at himself for it. But he is contemplating over how could he help the other get these feelings. Be it Taeil or any other human being on this Earth, the inability to feel such wonderful feelings is not fair from his point of view.

 

The next time he sees Taeil in the same park, different location, Ruby manages to attract like a magnet.

 

“Are you avoiding me for pestering you?” Taeyong asks Taeil sitting next to him, this time on what seems like a picnic mattress.

 

“Not really,” Taeil grins, he’s put his sketch down to offer Ruby some attention “I get tired of the same place and move to others, I feel like I drew everything out of this park.” He leaves a soft laugh.

 

Taeyong smiles back, somehow relieved that he didn’t bore the other or worse. He watches Taeil sketch a love scene again and he feels his tongue itch with bringing the subject back but he refrains.

 

Taeil distracts himself for a bit from the landscape and looks towards Taeyong “Taeyong, do you have a girlfriend?” He asks Taeyong, which is propped back on his palms and pouting.

 

“Don’t ask about girls in front of Ruby, she gets jealous.” Taeyong speaks mostly not to fall asleep.

 

Taeil looks mortified pointing towards Ruby “You're doing it with…?” He covers his mouth with his hand and points towards the dog.

 

Taeyong chokes on his spit, then he reaches Ruby’s ears and covers them “Wait wha- OMG you thought…my poor baby!” He slaps softly Taeil.

 

“Oh boy, you confuse the hell out of me, I’m sorry Ruby.” Taeil reaches to ruffle Ruby’s fur “I wanted to ask about what you said last time, the shivers and all, how do they actually feel?”

 

“You know when you pass through temperature change from hot to cold, that’s shivering and people can give that feeling as well, or when all your hair lifts on your body, and your skin is all goosebumps. The butterflies are only theoretically named that way, nothing flies in your stomach, but it feels ticklish and funny and…” Taeyong relates enthusiastically this kind of feelings from what he recalls from past dates or crushes but he stops and huffs.

 

Taeil brings his knees closer to his chest resting his arms on them and facing his lap. Taeyong throws a sympathetic smile to the older one, thinking that he may not be the only one kept away from sleeping thinking to this and he reaches Taeil to ruffle his hair, causing the other to look confused towards him, then showing a quite sad smile.

 

“Hey, don’t make that face.” Taeyong bumps their shoulders together.

 

“It’s just…I want to know, no…I want to feel,” Taeil looks Taeyong straight in his eyes now “can’t you help me?”

 

All night it echoed in his head “Can’t you help me?” Taeyong’s been fevered, even in his dreams he kept sweating and even been delirious in his sleep. But more than bothering him it was the excitement, he felt like somehow he managed to hypnotize the other to say it.

 

In order to proceed with his mission, Taeyong takes Taeil offer to go to his place again and do a plan. They spent more than an hour looking at each other and trying to figure it out what to do, but none has an actual idea of where or how to start.

Taeyong switches to casual talks and they lay comfortably on Taeil’s couch. Taeyong feels his eyes grow heavy, he couldn’t sleep since he overthought the entire situation. His eyes shut down but he forces himself to stay up, but Taeil is in no good shape either and falls asleep next to Taeyong.  They sleep together on the couch but nothing can actually kill Taeyong’s sleeping habits so during the night he partially climbed on Taeil with a leg around his hips and an arm around his neck.

 

It’s morning Taeil feels something ‘stabbing’ him in the back, he lifts his head and looks towards Taeyong who sleeps next to him with his mouth open. He can’t turn around too much due the other’s grip "Oh Taeyong this is gross!" He shoves Taeyong's shoulder. "Whaaat?" The other lets out a cry "It's morning, you behave like some girl, don't you have it?" Taeyong stretches his hand to Taeil's crotch and squeezes it. Taeil jolts, his face going all red, after few moments of staying still he shoves the other again this time stronger. "The fu- you're being gay, Taeyong!" And the other only laughs in response. Taeil gets red but from embarrassment, because Taeil is so shy he barely even dares to pick an eye on his own body.

 

“What’s taking so much to get ready? We’re going to the pool.” Taeyong shouts towards the bathroom, where Taeil is. “Ok, I just feel weird, is this even going to work?” He asks Taeyong brushing his teeth in the same time and sits on the edge of the couch, where Taeyong’s feet lay. “We didn't even start and you have second thoughts?” He shoves the other off the couch. “Get your , I’m waiting outside.” Taeyong lifts himself up and grabs a pair of shorts from Taeil.

 

Taeyong took Taeil to an indoor pool, there are people showing skin everywhere and he tries to stick to his mission and make Taeil get some emotions, without being distracted.

 

"Oh my God! She is stunning, look at her curves," Taeyong found the perfect target "watch her closely for 5 minutes, study all her body." He demands the other.

"Taeyong, I can look at her 1 second and draw all the freaking details of her body, I am too used to nudes." He says Taeyong is slapping his face. "If this is not working then anything won't get that heart of yours throb." He says in defeat.

 

"Maybe we should try another way." Taeil breaks the silence between them. They leave the pool within the next half of hour because Taeyong's mood got so down from not achieving his plan. "Yeah, and you suggest?" He says knocking imaginary stones with his feet "You do it on me…" Taeil says brightly.

 

"You said you don't like men, what effect besides grossing you out I might have?" He asks skeptically.

 

"Let's just try it, how do you do it with your lovers." He stops Taeyong by grabbing the back of his shirt.

 

"How do I 'do it' whit my lovers?" The other chokes.

 

"Yes like what gestures you do towards them, how you make them shiver, tremble and all the things you said it feels." Taeil is dead serious and it's the first time Taeyong feels jammed. He never thought involving this much in this process, but for the sake of ‘science’, he's willing to try.

 

"OK, let’s start basic, we'll walk holding hands."

 

They walk home and Taeil holds Taeyong's hand as if it were a sack of potatoes. "What the Taeil, have you hold someone's hand before?" Taeil’s red-faced of embarrassment “Not really, I wasn't interested," He confesses to the other “but your hand is kind of cold.” Taeyong looks his direction, he knows he has cold hands and he gets this a lot from people who touch him. “Yes, my hands are always cold.” But he, on the other hand, feels how warm Taeil’s hand is and for some reason he wants to keep holding it.

 

"Why don't you tell me how your dates went? Maybe I'll figure out something". Taeil starts retelling how he went on dates pushed by others, it was not that the girls weren't pretty, he just didn't find one to catch his eye. He acknowledges he's too picky, but the girls wouldn't help him either.

 

"Have you ever fall in love?" Taeyong is curious, he wants to unveil Taeil's enigma. "I guess when I was younger there was a girl I used to like, but I don’t know if it was love."

 

They get to Taeil's home and Taeyong unlocks their fingers now. "Felt any particular way about this?" he asks but Taeil's expression tells him that he didn't even realize they were actually holding hands all the way here. "Uhm, com.for.table?” Taeyong rolls his eyes, as he expected Taeil to answer anything but this. 

 

When they are not in the park drawing or walking Ruby, they meet at Starbucks, somewhere in between Taei