First Love

First Love

The first time he met her, he was an infant. His mother introduced her to him, and he loved her. He enjoyed every waking moment he had with her. She would help lull him to sleep every night, an ever present being that almost never left him. She was so much taller, so much more lovely than he could ever imagine. The first time he ever held hands with her, he couldn't help the feeling from coming to his face. He didn't know the meaning, but he loved it.

Yoongi couldn't imagine life without her, either. When he was a kid, he would call out to her in times of misery, and she would always come running to his side. She was always there for him. She had no name, but to Yoongi she was his home. She held a special place in his heart that gave him butterflies. Her presence was his comfort.

She was special to everyone, but Yoongi in particular. She took his hand and showed him the ways of the world with her, teaching him everything there was to know about her. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful creature in the universe. Nothing could ever be more special than her.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Yoongi disagreed. She was beautiful to everyone. He heard people talking about her everywhere. Every place they went, he would hear them say something about how she made them feel, how she affected them. It was like everyone loved her. Yoongi couldn't blame them, but he saw that some didn't understand her. She was just a thing of beauty to them. To him, she was everything.

She had a lovely voice that Yoongi smiled at. Sometimes she would sing and Yoongi would accompany her with fiddling his fingers around the keys of his piano. They would create melodies together like painting a canvas.  

He grew away from her for a while, loneliness falling around her like a black ash cloud. He was busy being a child, playing with other children. Elementary school came, and he saw the neglect he had left on her. Not once did she leave him, but waited for him to come back. He didn't want to come back to her, didn't want to hold her hand or admire her again.

She was sad, immensely so. But she stayed in the same place, watching over him with glittering love in her eyes, though he did not speak of or to her, did not touch her, did not see her. Her heart was heavy, but she never wavered. Always waiting for him, she stayed. She stayed put firmly, collecting dust.

He became a teenager, the age of fourteen, before he met her again. After his awkward 'hello', she smiled at him like he was the sun. Yoongi could do no wrong in her eyes, and nor could she in his. He took her hand, and she cherished that moment. He refused to let go of her, always keeping her by his side, regretting the time of the past that he had wasted ignoring her.

"Never let go of my hand," he said quietly, his feet dangling from the bench.

"I'll never let go," she answered back. And she kept that promise.

With the love came pain. Yoongi's later teenage years were anything but happy. Depression, guilt, sadness clouded his vision, and he could hardly be around her anymore. He pushed her away constantly, the nights becoming longer and more difficult, but she stuck with him. His eyes were no longer blurred with tears, but rather unseeing. The dazed look in his bloodshot eyes was anything but lovestruck. The expression came from the overwhelming misery he felt. But with every "I can't do this", she held his hand, looked into his eyes, and said "You could really do this."

With those words, she pulled him out of his hopelessness. She smiled at him and pulled him out of the depths of despair and desperation. "I won't let go of you," she whispered the promise back to him. And she was right. Not once did she hurt him. Not once did she let go of his hand. Even as became famous thanks to her, she kept close, her happiness radiating off of her like calm ocean waves. She was his happiness. Music was his happiness.

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