Everything waits for one thing the right moment

When the time comes you will know it, Taemin

But it never came you lied to me, hyung

One heart links two. Not everything needs to be said out loud

What bull is that?  What am I to you??

I never felt your heart. I never knew how you felt for me

Even though we had been together for years

Years that seems forever

We were always in an ambiguous relationship

A little closer than friends, a little more than brothers

But never close enough to be lovers

Were we even considered a couple?

When you had never confessed to me

Or promised me anything at all

Were our times together ever considered dates?

When we had never really been literally alone

When we were always stuck in a group

With our crowd of friends hindering us both

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Choi Minho. Stand right there………tell me……….

Do you love me? Have you ever loved me?

Stop avoiding my questions…..Answer me………..

What do I actually mean to you?

Lee Taemin. Stop being ridiculous……

I’m not answering that……..Are you a pabo?

Everything I did is more than obvious

If you still can’t see it, you must be blind

If you still can’t feel it, you are totally hopeless

I’m giving you the last chance. Stare at this collage…………

If you still can’t understand my feelings for you

Then I guess we really not meant to be

An aching pain throbbed in my head as I recalled the last words he shrieked at me before walking away in wrath, leaving me behind to ponder over his question in this empty art gallery hung with various framed art pieces that all looked so splendid but alien to me.        

This was the first time I’ve step foot into an art gallery and appreciating paintings wasn’t my forte. But I found myself quickly absorbed into the wildness of the large art piece in front of me that was shone under dimly lit spotlights which emphasize its aberrant contours and anomalous colours.  I can’t help glancing intensely into it.

The artwork was indeed peculiar, very different from the all the other paintings hung around the gallery. It wasn’t a typical oil painting which was the only art form I was more familiar with. Rather than a painting, it was more like a stitched quilt patched together with various pieces of fabrics and materials.

I was astounded by its bizarre used of turbulent colours and the boldness of its round naturalistic ; its facet and symbolic lines of detritus that slink through the whole enclosed space within the borders. It was like an ersatz rainbow reflected on a flowing stream under the scorching sun. There were numerous current of shades diverging and converging in different directions forming perplexing terrains across the whole canvas.

A swivel of disarray and turmoil crumbling the chaotic world

Lost in the crossroad, waiting for a herald to an illusionary encounter

A bewildering trail leading to the shadowy bleak future

Gosh, what the crap am I muttering? I’m a total idiot trying to make sense out of a strange artwork like this?  A picture speaks a million words, doesn’t it? How does he expect me to deduce anything from it? We might not even envision the same ideas and thoughts from the same picture. It’s obvious isn’t it? He’s just trying to give an excuse to reject me.

Give up on him. It’s time to move on, Taemin?

Clinging on won’t bring you any further.

Heaving a sigh, I raised my hand to rub my fluffy eyes that was now laced with tiredness. Taking small step backwards, I tried to avert my gaze away from the art piece but I just can’t, my eyes were glued to the spot. My heart that had a mind of its own was forcing me to stay on, to figure out the hints in the collage. It was throbbing in bitterness, signalling me not to give up on him. Not to give up so easy because he means that much to me. He was the air I breathe.

“Don’t retreating backwards anymore or you’re going to knock into me” A low husky voice rang behind my ears causing me to spin around in astonishment. My gaze immediately met a set of large gleaming hazel orbs, widen with the same dismay. Our lips were inches away from each other and I could feel his hitched breath smothering against my face, causing my cheeks to taint pink.

“What are you doing here?” Blinking my eyelids, I hastily backed away from him as the closeness between us was too intimidating for my comfort. Step by step I retreated in vain trying to increase the distance from him. Ironically, step by step he paced forward, shortening the space between us.

“Yah!!!!!……..don’t come ……………..I…….I……AAAHHHHHH” I screamed, tripping over my own feet as my body stumbled backwards.

 “Be careful” he yelled, reaching out to grab my hand to save my falling body, pulling me into his embrace. “Pabo………..be careful, I won’t be always there to save your ” he chuckled teasingly, pinching the bridge of my nose before lightly pushing me out of his grip.

“Ah…..” I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck bashfully as I meet his gaze. “I’m sorry……….hyung” A silence emptiness swelling in my heart as I glanced at the bright smirk plastered on his handsome face. This was always how it would turn out. He would always push me away jokingly when I thought he was finally showing me his concerns. How could I understand what he means if he always does that?

 “Taemin…………are you ok” he commented, giving a gentle knock on my forehead, jolting me out of my trance. “Are you angry with me……I know I sounded a bit harsh this afternoon. I’m sorry. Actually, it’s okay if you don’t get it. I’m not going to leave you?”

“Taemin………….”

“huh…………..what did you say again, hyung?” Do you really mean it? Does it mean I can stay by your side……Anniyo….that is not the point…………you still haven answer me if you love me………….

“I was saying it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand. I wasn’t expecting you to get it but just don’t ask me if I love you anymore. I’m sick and tired of that question. You know I can’t give you a definite answer to it……………” he answered as though he read the question formulating in my mind.

“Why……………why………can’t you?”  Is telling me you love me so difficult………Do you even love me, hyung? Honestly, what am I to you? Am I considered your boyfriend?.......... I questioned as I felt tears forming in the back of my eyes.

“I don’t believe in love, Taemin, you know that don’t you?  I don’t believe in relationship too. What is the point of asking that stupid question? What good would it do even if I say I love you? They are all lies. They are all empty promises. Nothing would last forever. Nothing is infinite. Love is merely a word that carries load of meaningless expectations, responsibilities and promises that one could never fulfil. A word that brings nothing but misery and suffering” he hissed through his gritted teeth. Anger blazed flamingly in his eyes. It was the first time I’ve seen him so agitated and it scares me.

Smirking mockingly, he continued “Do you know why I hate the word? Because every single day, I saw the cruel reality of love played in front of me. Every morning, my father would place a chaste kiss on my mother’s cheek, muttering the words “Komowo, yeobo. Saranghae” as she fumbled to straightened his tie, blushing pink in his sweetness. In front of everyone, my sister and me, they were the perfect married couple. They were the best couple who could define the notion of love, an everlasting affection for another in their 20 over years of marriage.

Ever since I was young, I would be envious of how loving and sweet my parents were and it made me yearn to find a person I loved and build a happy family just like theirs. But the dream of mine crashed into ashes when I found out that everything I saw all my life was a simply just a mirage. Their relationship was nothing but a fabrication of lies, lies that they both blinded themselves with.

Huh......love??? Damn them???.............Do you know why I said that??? That’s because I freaking saw my father ing his secretary in front of me, on the office table of his. He was the loving father I adored, the faithful husband I always strive to become and it shattered my heart instantly just getting a glimpse of the pleasure he got cheating on her. I totally can’t believe that he would betray her after listening to his endless preaches of love for her all my life.

Anger by the betrayal, I confronted my father head on wanting, no I should say hoping to get a reasonable explanation for his adultery but it never came. Instead of a pair of remorseful orbs, a guilt- ridden figure I was hoping to see. All I saw as an abnormally calm and composed man in front of me. He spoke a string of nonchalant words that I will never forget till the day I die because they were words that made me totally lose my respect for him.

“You understand that it’s hard to resist temptations, isn’t it Minho. So please don’t tell your umma. It will break her heart.”

Damn it, what the heck was that, what the heck?  It was clearly not the first time he cheated. And the worst thing was that bastard cheated even knowing that she would get hurt, knowing that it would break her heart but he still got the guts to say he love her every day without fail. Tell me, what ing love was that when he doesn’t mean it at all??? Honestly, I don’t understand why are people all freaking infatuated with wanting to hear the fake words “I love you”.

Heh.....Whatever!!! That doesn’t matter because this isn’t the end of the stupid drama. Although, I didn’t want my mother to be sad, I thought it would be unfair for her to have both his husband and son lying to her. Therefore instead of helping my father to cover up his infidelity, I told my umma about it. But to my astonishment, she knew it all along that my father was cheating on her and she was willing to keep mum about everything because she loved him. 

How ridiculous was that??? My mother was frantically clinging onto the devotion she had for my father even though her heart was bleeding in pain because of the stupid thing called love, she can’t free herself from the clutches of the broken marriage. She rather lives a life in a lie.

I’m sorry, Taemin for rattling all these useless things to you. But honestly, I really can’t make myself say those words because my heart doesn’t believe in it anymore. Mianhae” he blurted annoyingly, brushing his hands through his auburn locks.

 His despair was so apparent that it made me stuttered “But……I…I …just want to know how you feel for me, is it too much to ask for? Is it too much for you?” Tears spilled down my cheeks just seeing him in pain, I can clearly understand his agony but this is.......this is ................

“No, you’re wrong.....It’s not too much to ask for but it’s just something I could never explain with words. It’s something you have to feel, Taemin...........Everything is embedded in there......” he ghosted into my ears as he clasped my shoulder, tilting me to face the artwork. I could feel his back resting against mine and my heart started pumping like crazy, my mind went blank.

“All you have to do is find it……………with this” he continued, sliding his palm down my chest till he reach the junction where my throbbing heart lies. With my heart………….Yes, with your heart, Taemin………………………

Ignoring the scorching heat burning on my skin, I gulped down the lump stuck in my throat and literally stared at the collage in front of me but nothing new strike me. I was getting devastated as the every minute and second ticked by.

“Chaos and uncertainties..............that the only thing I make out of the collage, Minho hyung............” I uttered after much hesitation. “Is that it??? Are you telling me that being with you is nothing but being in trouble and living a life filled with doubts?? I’ll kill you if you say yes”

“Yeah, that’s true in your dreams, dummy” he chortled, slamming my head with his palm earning a lethal stare from me, trying to burn a hole through his brains.

“Aish..........stop staring me like that it’s scaring me...........” Minho muffled, rubbing away the goosebumps that crept up his skin. “Ara......araso.......I’ll help you......just don’t look at the collage as a whole, pay attention to its details..............”

“What??? Details........”

“Humph............”

Details..............the details??...........The words whirled in my mind as I stride forward to take a close look at the collage...................its fine ...... .....ani........ ..aniyo....it’s........... .....it’s.............

“This is.............this is............Is this what I’m thinking .........” I turned and questioned him right in the eye and I saw nothing but a smile curling up the edges of his lips. Staring at his nodding face, a turmoil of emotions overwhelming me forcing tears to glisten down my cheeks once again................It can’t be..........That’s is ridiculous................

“Did you do this all by yourself??.........When…when did you start collecting all these??” I questioned as my fingers traced the glass panel enclosing the artwork………….It’s fabulous……………I can’t believe he did this by himself……………….

“From the day my eyes met yours, Minnie. I know I want to do this for you no matter whether or not we are together in the end because you are the first person that make me want to treasure every minute I spend with you…………….” His soothing voice echoed in my ears as I felt his arms encircling my waist. “Do you still remember them??”

“Which one..??  There are so many things here…..Gosh…….are those movie tickets, milk bottle caps, sweet wrappers…and many other things that I could not differentiate……….…”What is that pink pieces over there?? I questioned, pointing at the mesh of pinkish stuff.

“Heh…….that…..it’s the remains of the y apron your key umma bought……”

“WHAT…..Aish, I remember destroying it……….shredding them into pieces because you didn’t like it…….”

~Flashback~

“Umma, I’m not going to wear it…….it is too lacy and pink….” It’s disgusting, Minho hyung will hate it. Taemin pouted, stumping his feet as the busy elder tried to straight out the lines on pink apron he was wearing.

“You looked stunning in it, Taeminnie darling. Minho would be impressed by your beauty.” The diva commented as he took a step back to appreciate his creation. The younger boy in front of him was blushing crimson and his bashfulness complemented the hot pink fabric that was covering him like a second skin, emphasizing all the curves of his slender body. “Gosh, you’ll look much better with your clothes off” Key winked with a sly smirk on his lips, earning a low growl from the younger boy.

“UMMA, cut it out….We are just making kimchi, I’m not going to strip in front of everybody…” Taemin shrugged face-palming his face that was burning redder than a tomato.

“Yeah yeah, Taeminnie….Come on, we’re late. Everyone is already outside…..” The elder commented, cupping the boy’s shoulder as he shoved him out of the room and welcoming them were gasps of compliments.

“Taeminnie, you look adorable….”

“Aish, Onew hyung, don’t you have any taste. He looked freaking y, my baby is totally grown up.  It makes me want to hug and kiss…………Ow….ouch…………” Jonghyun screamed as he got a hard whack on his head.

“Keep dreaming….you erted dino…….” Key hissed as he nursed his throbbing hand that was in pain because of the punch he gave the elder. “Don’t care about him, Minho I’m placing my darling under your care. We will be washing the cabbages in the balcony. You and Taemin prepare the sauce for the kimchi okay. The recipe is on the table. If you have any problem just call me…” he said, pushing Taemin into the arms of the dazed boy while he signalled the others to follow him outside.

“Minho hyung, let go of me. We are supposed to start making the sauce.” He called out to the elder that was still embracing him. “Hyung, are you alright??” Taemin asked as reach out his hand to Minho’s cheek which caused him to jolt out of his trance as electricity shot down his spine.

“Sorry, what were you saying Minnie….oh yah…make the sauce….” He stuttered as he gathered the ingredients spread out on the table and started measuring the exact amount of each according to the recipe without taking a second look at the latter.

“Minho hyung, come I help you to mix the ingredients….” Taemin smiled as he hopped towards the elder with a big bowl and spoon in his hand.

“It’s okay; I can do it myself. Minnie, why don’t you sit down and rest….” He answered, earning a frown from the younger.

“But…I want to do something too…hyung…..” Furrowing his eyebrows, Taemin ignored Minho’s comment and started pouring the fish sauce into the hot pepper flakes, mixing it around with his spoon.

“Taeminnie, you are distracting me with your pink apron, could you do me a favour and stay put at that side.” The older boy commented coldly which made Taemin let out a weak whimper as he dragged his feet and strolled to the corner of the room. With his chin resting on his palm, he glanced at the occupied figure pacing through the kitchen, trying to get everything ready and an indescribable bitterness swept over him thinking that Minho didn’t like being with him….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“……..you didn’t like being with me……you didn’t like the apron…..” I sulked as the memories replayed in my mind.

“Aish….Minnie…….Don’t you get it. I liked it….....I like the way you looked in that pink apron so much ..… you looked so cute and seductive that it made me confused. I hated the way Jonghyun and Onew hyung were gawping at you, it makes me jealous. And being alone with you makes me lusting for you so I tried to keep my distance or not I might just end up pouncing on you. It wouldn’t be nice if I do that in a house full of other guys.” Minho commented as he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. “You always make me yearning for you and I can’t help feeling enrage over my lack of control which always come across as an annoyance to your actions…I’m sorry, Minnie.”

“Hyung……..” Do you really mean it?  I whined blissfully as my heart melted in his words. Trying to shake off the effect he had on me, my glance went back to the art piece and more questions formed in my head. Was I really that clueless about his feelings for me?? Did I always misunderstood his coldness??  “Mianhae……..I didn’t know……….”

“No, it’s my fault. I’ve never tried telling you how I felt…….I thought you would understand my feelings just judging the way I treated you but I guess I wasn’t such as good boyfriend after all since you didn’t get it…….”

“No…it’s just that you are always doing things silently that’s why I didn’t notice it…..yup, just how many movie tickets do you have inside??? Were they all the movie tickets we watched?”

“Yeah…..there are 104 tickets in total in the collage……….almost all the tickets except for the first movie we watched together because…..”

“Ahh, I remember that…. Eish, you are testing me right… you liar …the first movie we watched together was final destination in Jonghyun hyung’s house definitely there will not be a movie ticket for it….” I shrieked, turning around striking my fists playfully on his broad chest while his hands instantly caught mine stopping me.

“No there is something you don’t know, Minnie. That movie gathering at Jonghyun hyung’s house was a set up......”

“Yeah, I know it was a set up to bring key hyung and Jonghyun hyung together, I know that all along, they started dating after that, isn’t it?....wae???”

“Aish....Minnie, you are really slow, it was a set up but not for Jongkey. It was a set up to bring us together....It was key’s idea to hook up you with me so that we can become couples and double date in the future. Don’t you remember how the horror movie suddenly became a romantic kissing scene with the guy practically eating the girl’s lips and how the whole room was left with nobody except the both of us staring embarrassingly at the TV screen when the couple in the movie started peeling off each other’s clothes? I could still recall the heat burning my cheeks when I heard your melodious moans resonating in my ears. You looked so adorable when you were peeking through the fingers covering your eyes. I was mesmerized by your sweetness. I fell hard for you even when I swear that I would never fall for anyone. I can’t help wanting to know you more........”

“So you secretly became a rag and bone man picking up all my trash, didn’t you?? There are so many things here; my test papers, photographs, milk bottle caps, drawings, clothes and so much more than I can’t even identify......how did you even get them??.......even my personal things that went missing are inside so you were the one that took them......”

“No...I just got some help for some others to collect fragments of you so that I could put them into our memories we weaved together.....” He answered, brushing away the locks covering my eyes. “Because I want to remember you forever......Minnie......I want to keep you forever here” Taking my hand, he placed it over his palpating heart and his confession made me speechless.

“You’re the key to my heart.........Don’t ever doubt it anymore” He confessed tenderly as he leaned forward, capturing my lips into a passionate kiss that made my knees went weak. Instinctively, I s my arms around his neck drawing him closer so that he could intensify our kiss as all the fear I’ve ever felt slowly disappear.

Minho hyung, I finally understand why the best and most beautiful in the world cannot be seen or even touched because it’s the treasury hidden in our hearts that links us together.

Author's note:

                          This is the end of the oneshot, sorry if the ending was a bit abrupt. Actually this was an entry I've written for Caline's 2 min contest because I was inspired by all the 2min stories I read (2min’s  love is so real) but I didn’t have the time to finish this in time because of all my assignments. Anyway, I’m glad I’ve finish it now even though it was not such a good piece of writing at all, it didn't turn out the way I want it to.

Please do give me some constructive comments, I would like to how to improve my writing.  Thanks for reading.