Let Me Find You
Let Me Find YouLET ME FIND YOU
“I am not afraid of dogs. I am not afraid of clowns. I am not afraid of bugs.”
This is Hyoyeon’s mantra.
She sings it out loud as she makes her way down the stone path of an abandoned park. It’s only 7:00 in the evening, but it’s dark and its hot and no one is out.
All she can see ahead are the rustling trees moving to the tempo of the eerie wind. It’s a calm but unfriendly night. The air is stifling warm and her shirt is damp, sticking to her like a second skin.
Hyoyeon sings lies, she’s actually terribly afraid of dogs, clowns and bugs, and the fear of all these things are magnified at night. But Hyoyeon is also brave. She is not afraid of other things that people are terrified about, like speaking her mind and living in the moment. Though her mother has received a lot of heat for it, she is the mastermind behind this mentality.
At the moment Hyoyeon lives in a tiny room on the third floor of a modest apartment complex. It was not initially for rent, but Hyoyeon is good at bargaining and with the help of stealthy words and batting eyelashes, the landlord succumbs.
The monthly payment is affordable and easy on her pocket, but the room is so small, every corner is something different. In one corner is the kitchen, four steps to the right and she’s got the living space. The only other part in the room with four walls around it is her toilet.
The landlord lets her move in a day after her 20th birthday. Her mother is sad to see her go, but happy that her child is growing up.
Hyoyeon has known no other way of life other than this and she thinks there is no better way to live it.
She’s got many dreams, but there is one in particular that stands out; to be a famous dancer and one day own her own dancing studio. So, when friends and family tell her that it’s a career with no future, she pushes and fights that much harder.
Right now she works, or rather volunteers as a dance instructor in her local dance studio in Seoul, and though she is an unpaid choreographer, she is gaining recognition, not just for her talent, but her simple fashion. She wears a plain white long sleeved shirt, black jeans and a bun of hair on each side of her head; the Leia Organa style.
And she is out at night; sweaty and tired from a late practice session with a group of 10 students.
She is not afraid of a little danger, but when she sees something small and weird hurling fast at her feet, she runs and hops on the only bench of the abandoned park. Hyoyeon hopes the thing is small enough that it’s unable to climb it.
She shuts her eyes tightly and hugs herself for dear life. She can only hear the terrifying creature barking at her, scratching the legs of the bench with its sharp nails. Something this loud has to be vicious and hunting for meat, Hyoyeon meat.
She gives a quick small prayer. “I’m going to die tonight mother, but I love you and I’ll miss you. Goodbye world.”
“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” A deep voice pulls her out of her reverie.
“God?” Hyoyeon questions.
“Yes, I get called that sometimes. Daddy too. All the girls loooove to call me that.”
Hyoyeon notices that the barking has stopped and opens her eyes to see the face behind that cocky mouth, and it’s a young man standing in front of her holding the little white furry beast in his arms.
“Who the hell are you?” Hyoyeon asks, climbing down the bench.
“I’m Sehun. Who the are you?” He fires back.
“I’m Hyoyeon,” she introduces herself with a scowl.
“Hi, Hyoyeon. Has anybody ever told you that your voice is grating and that your hair is like meatballs?”
“Hi, Sehun. Has anybody ever told you that you have a filthy mouth?”
“Only in bed.” He says and winks.
“You’re nasty.”
“Yes, in bed,” He winks again.
“Oh. Shut up,”Hyoyeon tells him, jokingly.
They stare at each other briefly, but there is something in the way that Sehun half smiles and the way that Hyoyeon looks away quickly, blushing.
Unfortunately, whatever that is, their routes take them in opposite directions. Hyoyeon walks to her apartment one way and Sehun continues his walk in the other.
That same night Hyoyeon arrives home with a goofy grin and heart eyes for a face.
“His eyes, they are big and he’s got these really sharp cheeks and he’s so tall. He dresses and walks like a supermodel. And he’s got dark, jet black hair,” Hyoyeon rants on, excitedly over the phone.
“Did you get his name?” Her mom asks.
“His name is Sehun.”
“Oh, wow, I don’t know any Sehuns.”
“But he’s kind of conceited. Doesn’t matter, though, because I don’t think I’ll ever see him again.”
“Why not?”
“It’s probably one of those once-in-a-lifetime meetings. A fleeting, passing moment, mom. I doubt a week from now I’ll remember him.”
“Uh Hu,” her mother says sarcastically.
Mrs. Kim is wise and can easily hear the melancholy behind her daughter’s voice, but she cannot help but be happy. Mrs. Kim has never heard such enthusiasm from her daughter’s mouth for any boy.
“I hear wedding bells, Mei. I’ll be a grandmother soon.” Mrs. Kim who is overwhelmed with happiness, tells her sister.
A week later, Sehun is still thinking about Hyoyeon and regrets not asking her last name or where she was heading, because now it’s a hassle trying to find her. He doesn’t know where she lives, or anything at all and it frustrates him. He’s got nobody to tell her about, other than his brother who is going to school in the United States, and it’s hard to communicate with him.
“Her name is Hyoyeon. She’s very pretty. She has blonde hair,” Sehun tells the waitress at the bar and brings his hand up and flattens it just above his shoulder. “She’s about this tall.”
“Is there anything about her that would stand out?” the waitress asks.
“She’s beautiful,” he says and the waitress scoffs, but the barmaid in the back laughs.
“I’m being serious. She is a dream,” he continues, excitedly. He doesn’t mean to annoy the poor employee there, but she’s the first person he’s been able to talk to about Hyoyeon (the wonderful girl he met at the park).
“I understand sir. She is the girl of your dreams, but you’re going to have to be more specific,” The girl replies miffed, certain she is not getting paid to act as a locator device.
Sehun tries to think, until something clicks. “She’s got three piercings, lined up like this along her ear,” he says and traces a finger in a c-shape around his earlobe.
The barmaid takes over and tells him not to give up and apologizes that neither she nor her co-worker have been any help.
“It’s ok. Thanks for your help anyways.”
Sehun has a vivid picture of Hyoyeon in his mind, she is vivacious and kind, the type of girl who is popular and always surrounded by good people. And after visiting bars, malls, coffee shops, and libraries near the place where he met her, no one has heard of her.
It’s discouraging, but he’s recently started looking for her at night clubs and bombarding barmaids and bartenders with questions. It’s not a desperate search, but it’s more enthusiasm than he’s ever placed for any girl.
The search is futile and drives him in circles, but it comes to a stop when he meets a gorgeous brunette at one of these night clubs.
And though she is nothing like Hyoyeon, and not as stunning as the blonde with meatballs for hair, he still falls in love with this girl.
They move to Incheon and share an apartment there for two years before he catches her in bed with another man.
He returns the ring that he was going to use to propose with and uses the money to rent out a room at another apartment back in Seoul.
The abandoned park is no longer empty. There are swings, screaming children and even a pond. Now there is not only one bench, but many and he chooses the ugliest one with scratches all over the legs to sit on.
It’s noisy, but Sehun’s tired and emotionally drained and he falls asleep instantly, his head lolling back and forth.
“Psst.”
He hears.
“Psst.”
He hears again.
“Sehun,” the distantly familiar voice sings his name, soft and tender, and swears it’s from a dream and too sweet to be real. “Wake up.”
The person behind the voice is very decided to wake him, but he is determined to stay unfazed. When he feels a kick to his ankle, his eyelids fly open.
That’s when he sees her and her golden silk strands flutter like petals in the wind, her smile bright like sunlight.
He had been looking for her, but she finds him. And it is in this moment in which the end of his sorrow begins.
The End.
Comments