(Kinda inspired by https://youtu.be/gaSwOhZK8Ac )

 

Tiny droplets of rain bounced off the window, filling the silent room with a soft and faint tapping sound. A deep and heavy sigh rose above the tapping of rain hitting glass, then the faint creaking of a chair as someone stood. It was Taeil, his face seeming to match the glass window outside, wet and tear stained. He sniffled "im okay," he told himself, "im okay." But was he? 

 

Jaehyun had recently left him, his first love leaving him all alone in the world with nothing but a broken heart. Taeil could still remember it clearly, the memory only a few days old, still fresh and clear in his mind. 

 

'Jaehyun lightly took hold of Taeils hand, there fingers lacing together and fitting perfectly with each other. They were two matching pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, they belonged together. "Taeil, look at me," Jaehyuns voice was soft, a caring and loving tone behind the hit of sorrow and weakness. It only broke Taeil more to hear him speak, the thoughts at looking at his true love, well, that just seemed absurd at this moment. Too much pain. "Taeil, please. Just don't cry, yeah?" But when he still received no answer, Jaehyun sighed in defeat and decided to speak anyway. "You'll be okay, you're strong, brave and so much more. You'll go on without me, who am I other then a simple first love? The first but not the last. You'll be okay, you'll be okay," Jaehyuns voice trailed off as he lightly squeezed Taeils hand. "I love you, my first love," and then the feeling of Jaehyuns warm hand in his own was gone, just like that Jaehyun had finally left him all alone. Taeil broke down into a sobbing mess.'

 

The memory was still so fresh and raw in his mind, and he wished it wasn't. He wished he could just move on, like Jaehyun said; The first but not the last. And Taeil tried to remind himself of that, but it was still like an open wound to his heart, his very broken heart. "Im okay. It's okay to be hurting, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to hate him," Taeil told himself in hopes of removing some, if only a little, of the pain he was feeling, in hopes of convincing himself that it really was okay. But it made him feel worse, as if he was in an endless plummet to earth, falling deeper and deeper into the hurt and reality of life without Jaehyun. 

 

Life without Jaehyun.

 

The though lingered in his mind, dwelling on the reality of it being true. He was really gone, never to come back. Slowly it began to sink in, finally fully hitting Taeil. All this time, the days, weeks, that he'd been alone, been missing Jaehyun, all the pain he'd went through was like a day dream. As if he'd fall asleep and wake up facing Jaehyuns handsome face like always. But it wasn't, this was a reality. A reality where Jaehyun no longer existed and it was just Taeil left to suffer. Taeil was crying again. 

 

With a few broken cries of distress, Taeil found himself outside in the rain. His clothes were soaked right through within a matter of seconds, the cold wind bitting at his skin with each gust that rushed passed him. But he found himself going forth, despite the cold setting into his bones and the extra weight seeming to hold him down, he trod on, desperate to reach his destination. 

 

And then he was there. 

 

"Jaehyun!" He yelled into the air, his voice drowned out by the rain bouncing off the ground. "Jaehyun! Jaehyun! Jaehyun!" With each scream of his lovers name, Taeils voice became more weak and broken. But not once did he receive a reply, he wouldn't if Jaehyun was gone. But he didn't wish to believe that. 

 

Taeil fell to his knees, the grass long turned into a muddy mess from all the rain. But that didn't faze him. He fell against a large headstone, shaky arms clinging onto the rock as if his very own life depended on it. "I hate you," Taeil cried, his eyes scrunched together tightly, wishing this nightmare would finally end. "You were my first love, and now your gone! Im alone, all alone when you were meant to be right here beside me! And I hate you, I hate you so much! But, you know what? That's okay. You always told me everything was going to be okay, and now here I am saying it," Taeil let out a weak, breathy chuckle, his fingers running along the hard, bumpy rock as it trailed the outline of Jaehyuns name. "I love you, my first love. My only love. You will be my love until the day I die, and we can be together again. Im hurting, so badly right now, but it's okay." Taeils  tears were masked by the rain droplets running down his face, a small smile forming on his face. 

 

Even if Jaehyun was gone, even if he'd broken Taeil in more ways then he could ever explain. It was okay, because Jaehyun was forever and always going to hurt Taeil now.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

 

When the midnight thoughts become words on paper...kinda? 😂

 

Im tired af so this is a ty first to do for the collection, I knooooow! But the angst one shot book is going to just be all non happy endings basically! Some worse then others! 

 

Anyway, thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated and I will try to reply to all~!