There is a love behind her stiffness

Behind her silence

Silent with full of attention

Makes me can’t stop to keep an eye on her

I’m just sitting alone, accompanied by a cup of coffee also a laptop in front of me. Dreamy in my silence watching the ocean view outside the window. Beautiful, indeed, also calming. It’s so calming which makes me drown in my memories. The old memories which are already sunk deeply into my mind.

There is a girl with her rabbit smile showing her front teeth cutely with wrinkled nose every time she grins. A long straight hair girl who looked slender with everything she wore. Yes, I did once ever admire her. Only admiring with no courage to make a move. Such a coward. And like a fool, I never can get over about it.

This memory absolutely makes me smile in an instant, reminiscing how stupid I was, how could only with passing by already makes me smiling like a fool. Feeling glad just by seeing her smile, even her slightest smile. I feel like she has the cutest smile that I’ve ever seen.

She’s somehow like an ocean, there is a feeling of comfort, an undescribable feeling that can make me feel calm and also, it’s so contagious. Makes me wanted to see her more and more. Makes me drown and everything about her seems lovely for me.

I take a sip of my coffee while turning my eyes back toward my laptop which is already craving for my attention. Words, tables, also data, I sigh, letting my breath escapes from my mouth while massaging my temple. It indeed makes my head feel a bit dizzy.

“Gosh! When will this be over?”

I stretch my arms with my eyes close, it’s almost three hours I work on this data, alone. Tired? Not really. Bored? Hmm, maybe.. I work as a researcher also a lecturer in a university, moving from one town to another town for doing the research and still need to go back to Seoul for teaching my disciples. "I love my job", It’s only a phrase that I did say in my first month, after that? Aaah... I love my money, maybe? Haha.. It feels like my life is only for work, I need a life.

This week I choose to take a rest at Jeju island, cancel my class while finishing the report about yesterday’s scientific presentation, well all I need to do actually is posting a journal about my research. And since I’m on my free week, I can do this task leisurely, no need to rush. Since I’m pro at this field, haha.

“Excuse me, prof..”

I’m still focussing my mind on my laptop then suddenly hear a girl’s voice from my right side, she sounds like trying to ask me hesitantly. I stop my task then turn my face to her, and smile in response. She wears a simple baby blue blouse and dark gray trousers with holding a tote bag, she was smiling and showing her dimple on her right cheek. It’s cute.

“Yes, what can I help you?”

“Firstly, I’m Jung Wheein, Prof... I’m one of the scientific participants yesterday, and secondly, I’m so sorry if I’m bothering you...” She said carefully while grinning, I can clearly see her dimple on her cheek because of this.

“I’m fine.. Please, take a seat.”

“Thank you” She fixed her hair onto her right ear while pulling the chair closer to her.

“I still can’t believe I could meet you here... And to be honest, I’m so interested in your research since my group’s last project is related to your research, Prof...” She grinned look so cute.

“Haha, that’s nice” I grin while saving my data on my laptop then give her my full attention.

That girl draws a wide smile on her face after our few conversations, her eyes become so wide which makes her looks like a cute puppy who is asking something to their master. It makes me grinned slightly.

“Honestly, a discussion group with you will do, prof... If it doesn’t bother you...” She asks carefully while looking at my face.

“Sure, with my pleasure. I’m free tomorrow.”

...

My eyes are fixated only on her

Toward an empty space that is already filled

A space that used to be my favorite space

A blonde girl..

Pretty,

Yes, she’s indeed so pretty.

To call this as a dream, tonight’s dream was quite enough to make me fall in silent. Why after all this time, I dreamed about a girl that has never been mine. To think about someone that impossible even to only say hi. Someone who I only can admire without being close. That beautiful person. I sigh, then smile bitterly.

Aaah I better enjoy this week as long as I can. At least for journal’s matter, I can finish it in three days, so for now, hmm...

I sit on the edge of my bed then take a glance to an empty cup beside the tv, walk closer then pour the water into it. I bring it with me to the balcony, watching the view outside while having a drink. It feels so refreshing, at least it’s better than remembering that kind of dream. Somehow it makes me feel so pathetic.

KATALK!

“Good morning Prof, let me remind you about our appointment at 9 am at lobby, thanks before”

“Sure.”

I smile, remember how her dimple wrinkled on her right cheek, and yes I have a plan with her today. It will be fun, maybe? Well, expecting that today will be fun is not a bad thing, right? I turn my face back to the outside, looking at how beautiful the sky is. Yeah, it’ll be fun.