“How many times have I told you hyung? Don’t throw your wet towel on the bed!”

“Uh, sorry, I forgot.”

 

“Can’t you at least put your dirty plate in the sink? You are such a child.”

“Sorry, I forgot”.

 

“Hyung! You ruined my new shirt. Why would you leave your half empty coffee cup on the ironing board?”

“Ummm, sorry, I will buy you another shirt.”

 

“Who the hell did this? My favourite pan is ruined!”

“You know who, why do you even ask?”

 

“Ahhh! Who put the purple shirt in the washer? Today is white day, all our white shirts are purple now!”

“We can’t go on like this. Why can’t he grow up a little?”

 

The reason behind everybody’s frustration was happily munching on a cookie on the couch, leaving crumbs everywhere of course, and animatedly talking on the phone.

“Jonginnie, I miss you already. When will you be home?”

“I miss you too hyung. And you know I have to be with my family now. I am thinking I will start next Monday, haven’t told my dad yet.”

“Monday? That’s five days from now…”

“It’s just five days hyung, besides you were the one who wanted my mom’s Gangjeong.

“Yay! Aunty’s Gangjeong is the best!”

“Yeah yeah, she is making a truck load just for you.”

Suho laughed but there was something forceful about it.

“Hyung… are you ok?”

“… Yes Jongin, I am doing good. Just missing you that’s all.”

After ending the call, Suho just lay there on the couch wondering what was wrong with him. He felt alone for some reason and there was a tiny feeling of isolation. He almost felt phantom limbs hugging him from behind and the thought made him smile. He got off the couch and went to check if any of his band mates would be interested in ice cream.

 

“What is wrong with you? The show was meant for easing in Yixing and you just cut in every time he answered.” Chanyeol fumed at him.

“But, but everyone was laughing at his pronunciation, it’s not…”

“And that is not your problem. We had discussed this before.”

Suho stood helplessly wondering how to diffuse the situation. Maybe he went overboard in the show that day but he did it with good intentions.

“Chanyeolah, I don’t mind, Suho hyung is the leader and he can…”

“What, I am doing this for you and you are taking his side? God, don’t you guys understand how much screen time goes just to hyung and his antics?”

There was pin drop silence and all eyes trained on Suho. But Chanyeol ploughed on.

“Look hyung, you are a good leader and we love you but you have to tone it down. Maybe unknowingly but you always seek attention. We talk only about you at work and at home and it’s getting ridiculous. I personally need a break from Suho time.”

Suho felt terribly upset but no one said anything and he wasn’t sure if he should defend himself or not. He felt the urge to fight but then he decided that leaving would be a saner option. He silently walked up to the door put on his shoes and stepped outside the dorm. He faintly heard Minseok’s stern voice.

“Chanyeol! I think you should go inside your room and cool your head.”

Suho wandered around the park thinking about what Chanyeol said. He genuinely didn’t like the moment where everyone was laughing at Yixing. The way he said Jurassic was different and yeah funny but they shouldn’t have laughed so much over it. He just wanted to divert attention. But then again thinking about it made him realize that was in a way seeking attention.

He took his cell phone and called Jongin. The phone rang but Jongin didn’t pick the phone.

He wandered around for a while and after much thought bought cake for everyone and resolved to apologise to the members for overstepping into their screen time. By the time he went home it was late night.

It was quiet at the dorm but Chen was waiting for him.

“Hyung, don’t take it to heart alright. Chanyeol… he was just upset about something and took it out on you.”

They were sitting in the dining table with just the kitchen light on and drinking tea.

“Do you think Chanyeol is right?”

“Hyung…. You know I don’t. How to say this? You just have a child like personality in you that makes you the center of attention. Nothing bad usually but sometimes you can let others deal with situations. I understand that you are having fun but then you tend to overshadow Yixing, Minseok and others who talk less.”

“Ok, thank you for being honest with me. I will change.”

“Baka senpai, no need to change, just be aware of yourself more.”

“Ah! When did my Kouhai became this smart?”

 

The next day morning, Suho had apologised to everyone and offered them pastries. Chanyeol had apologised to him in person for being rude under the watchful eye of Minseok. There was a lot of awkwardness and Suho took the opportunity to step out and call Jongin.

“Hyung, how are you?”

“I am fine Jonginah, how are you?”

“I am doing great. I met all my high school friends yesterday. It was so much fun. I saw your call late at night but thought you would have gone to sleep. Anything important hyung?”

Suho didn’t even consider telling Jongin what had happened the previous day. Somewhere in his mind the story was shifting and changing into something that was his own fault and Jongin was the last person Suho would reveal his faults to. Much later when he went to the kitchen, he felt hurt that hardly two pieces from the dozen pastries he had bought had disappeared.

 

“Ahhhh! What the hell? There are rats in here…” Baekyhun shrieked 

“Where, where!” Yixing came running in

“I just saw them eating the pastries on the kitchen counter.”

“What?” Kyungsoo came in as well

By then most of them had assembled. Kyungsoo who had just returned from an event in the outdoor sweltering heat grabbed the box of pastries and flung it to the floor. The box skid and hit Sehun’s feet. Six heads turned slowly only to stare at Suho who was standing right behind Sehun once again.

“I… I bought them…”

“Shut up Suho! I have been patient so far but you are going to kill us by poisoning. Grow up and clean up after yourself. How many times have I told you not to leave food out in the open?”

Suho looked stunned. Kyungsoo had never shouted at him before.

“Well, I… I bought them for you all; one of you could have put them in the fridge for later.”

“Did we ask you? Why are you always doing unwanted things? The fridge is full of things you bought for us, doesn’t mean we are going to eat all of them.”

“Hyung! Stop, we ask him to buy pizza…” Sehun’s voice rang aloud but Suho didn’t hear anything. He took a step back and another and another before he turned and ran into his room. He fumbled with his phone to call Jongin but then a voice in his head told him that he was being too needy. He dropped the phone and sat there in the dark shaking.

 

The next day their manager had arranged for pest control and they have been ordered to leave the apartment until the next day. There were a lot of grumbling and a few accusing stares at Suho but eventually they had all left. The sweltering heat had given way to thunder showers and most of the band has taken the chance to go home. Suho called home but his father along with his mother had gone out of town. He went to see his seniors and then tried to do some shopping. But his heart was not in it. He wanted Jongin and he wanted him desperately. But for some reason he was afraid to call. He didn’t want to intrude on Jongin’s family time. It was pouring by the time Suho reached the hotel where the few who were not going home were staying. Suho arrived at his room soaked to the bones like a wet dog. By the time he took a shower he was exhausted and feeling sick. Just when he was about to crash for the night, his phone rang.

“Hyung, sorry for calling so late. How are you?”

“Jongin…”

“Hyung? Are you ok?”

“Jongin…”

“Hyung! You don’t sound good, are you ok? Tell me what happened.”

“Jongin… when are you coming home?”

“I told you hyung, I will be there on Monday.”

“I am sorry I am a nuisance but can you come home earlier?”

“Hyung? What happened? You don’t sound right.”

“Nothing Jongin, I… I love you so much and I feel like I am dying without you.”

“Hyung, you are scaring me. Talk to me.”

There was a long silence on the other end. Then there was ugly laughter from Suho’s end.

“Is me saying I love you such a scary thing?”

“What? Jun, stop. You know I love you too. You just don’t sound like you are alright and I am worried.”

“Sorry Jonginah, I am just a bit upset about something, I will be alright. Good night.”

The call ended abruptly and Jongin couldn’t get to sleep that night.

 

“See, this is exactly what I meant. Who would go out in the rain, get wet and fall sick on the day of a radio show.” Chanyeol paced up and down their apartment. Baekhyun, Chen, Minseok, Suho and Sehun were scheduled to participate in a radio show but Suho had fallen sick.

“This time I tend to agree. You know you can’t stand the cold! This is not like you at all. Your irresponsibility towards yourself is affecting everyone.” Minseok said without any bite in his words. A bowl of chicken soup was placed in front of him by an exasperated Kyungsoo but Suho’s head was pounding and he felt dizzy. More than the physical illness the guilt was eating away at his heart. Yet again he had let down his team members and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“I am sorry”

“Do you realize how many times you are sorry hyung? But nothing changes in the end. When are you going to…”

“What is going on here?” someone cut off Baekyhun’s tirade.

Everyone turned to the new voice in the room. Jongin stood there with his duffel bag in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. Suho stared at him with glassy eyes while the others look at him in confusion.

“We thought you are…”

“I came early, Suho hyung didn’t sound good over the phone yesterday so I decided to check in early.”

“So you had to disrupt your plans because of him? Sounds familiar.” Chanyeol muttered

Jongin paused for a second not understanding the context of what was going on. But he then made his way to Suho and felt his forehead with his own while still clutching his bags.

“Umm, you have a fever. No wonder you were out of it. Let me put my bags in the room and I will be with you in a second.”

No one said anything because they were too busy staring at Jongin. Maybe it was the fact that Jongin was back or maybe it was the illness but Suho couldn’t hold it back. His eyes welled up and this time he couldn’t stop the tears.

Sehun who sat next to Suho realized what was happening and put his arms around the leader.

“Shhh, hyung it’s ok.”

“I am sorry… I didn’t mean to fall ill.” Suho hiccupped.

Jongin just then came out of his room and seeing Suho in tears made him suspicious that something more than the illness was wrong with Suho.

“Do you want to lie down hyung?” he gently asked Suho for which he received a silent nod.

Lifting Suho from his chair as if he was a little boy, Jongin carried him to Sehun and Suho’s shared room.

“Sehunah, get some warm water and a paracetamol will you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

 “But the show…” Suho made to rise from the bed he was placed on

“Rest now, we will talk to manager hyung.”

Suho folded into himself and closed his eyes still crying. Sehun returned with some water and a paracetamol tablet.

“Sehunah… can you ask Minseok hyung to call our manager? ”

“Yeah sure…”

Once Sehun stepped out and closed the door, Jongin got on the bed as well and held his boyfriend close. He gently fed him the water and the tablet before lying back and pulling Suho into his arms.

“Jun, what happened? Why are you upset?”

“I… I am sorry, I didn’t mean to make you leave your family and come early.”

Jongin chuckled

“Yes you did. You whined nonstop about missing me and yesterday you asked me to come home sooner.”

 “Sorry, I…”

“Did I say it’s a bad thing? You can ask me to come to you anytime. I missed you too you know. And I am glad I came early because I wouldn’t want to be away from you when you are sick.”

The tiny leader snuggled up to Jongin who held him close. Usually a sick Jun is a hyper Jun. For some reason, Suho becomes more active when he is really sick. He will flit around doing crazy things. His eyes would get red with fever and despite being sick Suho would go around the dorm bugging everyone, almost like a child on a sugar high. Finally he would burn himself out and then crash for about 24 hours after which he would wake up as good as new. This snivelling Suho is a new phenomenon and it puzzled Jongin.

“Jun, stop crying, I am here right. Everything will be ok.”

“You won’t ever get tired of me right?” mumbled Suho

Jongin bent down to stare at Suho’s brown head which was currently lodged securely against his chest.

“Where is this coming from?”

“I will be good okay. Please eat my cake.” Suho mumbled deliriously

“What cake? Jun?”

There was no reply. Suho seemed to have slipped into a fitful sleep. Gently placing him back in the bed and pulling the covers, Jongin placed a kiss on smooth forehead and tiptoed out of the room. He needed answers and the only one who would give him any is Sehun. Just as he was about to call out to the maknae, he heard Chanyeol mentioning his name and he slowed down.

“…. Jongin will keep him in line for a while.”

“Yeah, God knows what he sees in him. But that’s no solution though. He is going to mess up as usual. Only, now not just Sehun but Jongin will also clean up after the leader.”

“Kyungsoo hyung, I have told you before, I don’t mind what I do for Suho hyung. It’s just one of his week points. And you shouldn’t have thrown the pastries like that. Won’t you be hurt if someone did that to you?”

“Well I am tired and hurt. It’s me and Chanyeolah who are cleaning up after the trail of rotting food and dirty clothes he leaves. We are not maids here.”

“Then don’t do it hyung, the rest of us will do what we can and we will keep reminding Suho hyung. Frankly, I don’t think he is that bad.”

“Oh really, didn’t he ruin your new shirt. Are you okay with that?”

“I am not, but he didn’t mean it and I think you guys are too harsh on him. I think you guys should let it go for now. I am going to check on him.”

“You and Jongin spoil him. You do realize he is the leader here right?”

“That’s precisely why I think we spoil him…”

 

As Sehun stepped out of the trios room, he found Jongin standing there with a frown. With a sigh, Sehun pulled him to a room and locked the door behind them.

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know that you guys have done something to hurt hyung.”

Sehun narrated what had happened in detail and Jongin for the nth time felt like kicking himself. Suho had been hurting for over a week and he had not realized it. He knew something had to be done but knowing very well that an angry confrontation will not take them anywhere, Jongin decided to deal with the problem differently.

“Sehunah, you know hyung and I are together right?”

“I suspected as such”

“Good, now I need you to help me get back our happy bunny Suho hyung.”

             

The next day, Suho was much better and with Jongin being back, he forgot all about what had happened the past week. In the end, just a smile here and hug there was enough to get Suho into his bunny mode. Jongin and Sehun made sure to pamper him at every turn and though the others found it a bit weird, Suho soaked up all the affection the youngest members were showering him.

“Hyung, here, drink some orange juice, you need the vitamin C.”

“Hyung, give your plate here, I will leave it in the sink.”

“Hyung, are you cold? Shall I get you a cup of hot chocolate?”

“Hyung, here wear my sweater. It’s cold here.”

The weekend was spent with Jongin cuddling Suho on the couch within an inch of his life. On Sunday, the remaining Exo M members who were busy with other activities in China returned and with Tao added to the mix, Suho’s feet didn’t touch the ground.

“Umma, look what I bought you from China.”

The maknaes were both sitting at Suho’s feet while Jongin was holding Suho across his lap. A pair of funny rabbit ears head band sat on the elders ears and Jongin was feeding him tiny bits of moon cake.

Tao opened an expensive looking gift box and showed it to the others.

“Wow Tao, is that an imperial jade bracelet?” Jongin asked curiously.

“Yes, it brings good health and fortune. I bought it so that Suho umma will always be young and healthy.”

“Tao, this is so expensive, I have all the good luck charm I need right here sitting with me, you guys are more powerful than jade.” Suho said with his usual dazzling smile.

“But you can’t wear them can you?” Chen who was passing by, quipped. But then after giving the lot an appraising look said, “I take that back, you are wearing them.”

The youngsters laughed at that.

 

“I hate this. He is getting treated like a damsel while we are slogging in the kitchen.”

“I know Kyungsooah, aish cooking for this lot is like running a restaurant.”

“Chanyeolah, do you need help with anything? I can chop the onions for you.” Suho stepped into the kitchen. Thankfully his entourage was missing.

“What do you mean you can? If you guys want to eat dinner on time, you better help hyung.”

“Sorry sorry, give me the onions.”

Suho diligently started chopping the onions.

“Kyungsooah, you have been working so hard with feeding all 12 of us. Let me take everyone out for dinner tonight so that you can rest.” For a minute Kyungsoo felt guilty but then he was tired.

“Yeah, that would be nice hyung.”

“Hyung, I am tired, give me a shout when you are done with the onions.” With that Chanyeol walked out of the kitchen. Kyungsoo realized what was happening and with a smirk said, “hyung, I think my phone is ringing, can you watch the stove for a few minutes?”

“Sure, you go on.”

With that Suho was left alone in the kitchen. Suho was no specialist at cooking but he didn’t have the heart to call the tired boys back to the kitchen, so he managed what he can. That is until Luhan and Yixing showed up.

Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Baekyhun were sitting in their room relaxing and wondering what Suho was doing.

“He is going to mess it up for sure. I don’t want to eat any gunk.”

“Shut up Baek, we are tired and besides, if he messes up, we can always make him buy lunch.”

The three of them sniggered and started chatting up until Suho himself knocked and stepped into the room.

“Guys, lunch is ready.”

“Oh sorry hyung, we started talking and didn’t realize the time.”

Suho beamed at that, “Not a problem, you guys need to rest. I am glad I could help.”

 

Lunch unexpectedly was amazing.

“Umma, you are amazing. So delicious!”

“Taoah, you should thank Yixing and Luhan. They did the cooking while I just helped.”

“You did a lot of the work hyung, don’t be modest.”

Even Yifan who normally is a picky eater cleaned his plate and asked for seconds. Suho was over the moon.

“Luhan ge and Yixingah, thank you both for helping me. I am so glad we are all able to sit together like a family and eat.”

“We are happy to spend time with you Suho. The cooking was just a byproduct. Besides, take it as thanks for taking care of my Baozi in my absence.”

Xiumin blushed while the rest of them sniggered at Luhan’s response.

Yifan cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“How about we take the three of you out tonight for dinner? We can share right guys?”

There was a chorus of yes, which drowned out the whining of three voices.

Overall lunch ended up as a grand affair with the maknae’s competing with each other to feed Suho.

 

“How does he do it? How many days have I cooked you guys delicious food. Have I ever been appreciated? No, and one day he doesn’t mess up and suddenly it’s as if he won Master Chef America!”

“That’s because it’s not about the food.”

Startled the three friends turned around see Jongin leaning on the doorway.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Umm… Jongin?”

“I have been meaning to talk to you three for quiet sometime. But my time was taken with bringing back that smile Suho hyung seemed to have lost in my absence. Care to explain why he lost it in the first place?”

Chanyeol scoffed. “We know you are the head of the Suho fan club. I am sure you have heard from the general secretary of the groupies on what happened.”

Jongin stared at all three of them in turn.

“Green doesn’t suit any of you.”

“Oh please, as if we would be jealous of our 100 album hyung.”

“Of, if album sale is everything, then you should be envious of Sehun and I the most for we are the one who sell the least.”

“Jonginah, we will never feel that way about you. You are a nice person, considerate and kind. Besides you are the best dancer here, so albums don’t count for you.”

“And Suho hyung is the leader and all-rounder in the group, so why does his album sale count?”

“It’s not about album sale and I am sorry Chanyeol brought it up. It’s just that he gets away with everything.”

“Really hyung, I am disappointed that you don’t see how much he is doing.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes welled up unexpectedly.

“What is it that he has that we don’t? Haven’t we looked out for you as much as he does? Haven’t I looked after you enough? Why can’t you look at me the way you look at him?”

Jongin sighed.

“Kyungsoo hyung, I didn’t want it to come to this, but I… I love Suho hyung. I have known how you feel about me but I am extremely sorry that I cannot return your feelings.”

Kyungsoo was crying so much that both Baekyhun and Chanyeol hugged him close to console him.

“As to why I love him, why everyone loves him, it’s because of who he is. His kindness, his forgiving nature and leadership, everything makes him endearing.”

“You sound as if he is a saint. He just messes up and buys food to shut us up.” Chanyeol scoffed.

“Maybe he does, but it’s the effort he puts into apologising that I appreciate. You think money is easy for him? Do you think he is rich? He is just a professor’s son, but his heart is big enough to pay from his allowance just to see others smile. All you are seeing is his childish side. Do you know how many times he had stood up for us in front of the management defending and protecting us? And that to knowing how disrespectful we are towards him. All you are seeing is Tao following him like a duckling calling him Umma. Do you know how many times Suho had foregone sleep just to protect Tao from his nightmares and loneliness. All you are seeing is Sehun and I falling over each other to do his bidding. Do you know how many times he had fed us, bathed us and sung us to sleep when neither of us could lift a finger after rehearsal?”

“You sound as if we don’t care about you guys at all Jongin. That’s unfair, we are not heartless, just tired from cleaning up after him.”

“Then stop being vindictive about it Baekhyung. Do you think I don’t fight with him about his habits? I do all the time, but I don’t demoralize him. I don’t make him feel useless about it. And I sure don’t talk about it on national television. Besides, don’t you guys have bad habits? How many times have you guys made fun of the other hyungs on TV? Hell, how many times have you guys made fun of my complexion.”

“Jongin, we never…”

“I know Chanyeol hyung… I know you don’t mean half the things you say. And I don’t care because an angel told me once when I cried about it that skin is only skin deep and there is so much more to me. The angel told me that stripped of this skin, we are all the same ugly mass of muscle and bones and what matters is what our souls are made of.”

“I am sorry Jongin, we never meant to hurt you. I do truly love you and if at all you ever think of giving me a chance…”

“I am sorry hyung but all I can say is please move on and find your happiness. I have found mine and no matter what happens in the future, I know where my heart will be.”

“My only request is, please see the good in him and others as well. If you can’t, then leave him be. Even if you guys don’t want it, we will always be your friends because he will not stand for anything less than that.”

The three of them sat there wondering how it has come to this.

“I am sorry, you guys are overworked. Now on, we will all help. Just please accept Suho hyung for what he is and forgive him when he is stupid. You know he will do the same for you.”

“Jonginah…”

“Don’t say anything now hyung, I have said my piece. Please think through what I have said and act accordingly.”

 

Jongin was tired, He had not planned the confrontation, but he couldn’t help himself when he had heard the trio talking. He slowly walked up to the living room only to see Sehun and Tao pulling Yifan’s hair to get his attention. Just as he was wondering where his boyfriend was, Suho and Chen came out of the kitchen with several glasses of lemonade.

The maknae’s minus Jongin fell over each other to grab a glass. The others wandered in hearing the commotion only to gratefully pick a glass each to quench their thirst in the summer heat. Noticing Jongin watching him, Suho brought him a glass as well. Downing the glass at one go, Jongin left the glass on a nearby table and pulled Suho by the waist.

“You are so tiny.”

“I am not, I have the best six pack in EXO.”

“Still… tiny” Jongin sing songed while pulling hims towards the rooms

“Wait, Jongin! I need to take the lemonade to Kyungs..umff”

Jongin kissed him into silence and in a sweep carried his boyfriend towards his room.

“I am tired, can you help me sleep hyung?”

“Oh Jonginah, why didn’t you tell me, are you not well? Did you get my fever? Put me down, your back will hurt…”

“Shhhh, close your eyes and hide for a while in me. I love you that way.”