The birds chirped happily outside as I blankly gazed through the window of my office, heart raging with emotions only the death of a loved one could evoke.

The early morning breeze danced its way inside the room, as gentle as never before, like it was meant to be for my sake.

After all, at this time of the year, it' supposed to be frosty, so much that one cannot stand it. However, such a welcome change seemed rather insignificant, like everything else in life as of late.

The room was mostly dark despite it being daytime, the only source of light streaming through the window, past the half-drawn curtains. It was still enough for me to see my surroundings though, as faint as it was.

If anyone enters my office now, they would leave with a frown on their face and a depressive aura trailing behind them. Negative emotions are just as contagious as positive ones after all. I feel a distant guilt knowing that and still doing nothing about it but then again, a part of me cares not.

Even if I want to, I just can't help feeling that way. To me, life seems to have long lost its meaning. I just spend my days performing obligations, completely disregarding any sort of entertainment or even a momentary respite, because I instinctively know that nothing and no one could make me feel alive anymore.

What's the point? Why should I bother giving myself a chance when I know how futile and meaningless an effort it would be?

How dull and stripped of colors life had become after you have left, Chanhee .

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Two weeks earlier:

"You will be given immunosuppressant drugs soon after the operation. Without these drugs, your body would rapidly recognize the new heart as 'foreign' and mount an attack, or an attempt to 'reject' it. The immunosuppressant drugs control this rejection by reducing the strength of your body's immune system. "

A young man weakly nodded as he heard the doctor explain , eyes blinking in a resigned manner at the amount of medical information he'd been forced to learn due to his condition .

"However, this also means the drugs lower your body's defense against infection. The decision is yours. "

A bitter smile made its way to pale lips as the patient considered his decision. If he didn't take those drugs, the operation would have no meaning because his body would keep on fighting the new heart, wearing it out so much that when he can finally get used to it, the organ would have been long damaged and useless, just as the surgery itself. However, if he decided to take it, he'd risk lowering his immune system in general, which did not appeal to him. Nevertheless, he supposed he could solve the issue if he made sure he got no infection whatsoever.

Sighing deeply, the young patient gave an answer, voicing his approval which made the doctor nod , as if to further support such decision before standing up and concluding his vi