Chanwoo’s blinded by the brilliant smile directed at him, confused and mildly disorientated by it- no teacher in this school is that kind. Well not without a catch anyway. 

But the smile is genuine and so are the twinkling eyes aimed at him almost happily, “So you'll come to class now right?” His home room teacher hums and it makes Chanwoo blink out of his momentary haze to finally remember where he is. 

He was outside, cutting class for at least the tenth time, but was now finally being confronted by a man who claimed to be his homeroom teacher- and, well re-blinking, he realizes that the supposed homeroom teacher is still smiling down comfortingly. “Well?” The words are drawled out of the man's mouth and Chanwoo sighs and gets up.

The man, Mr. Kim he distantly recalls, literally beams and claps his hands together once in a show of excitement that Chanwoo vaguely compares to that of a child who had finally got his candy after a long day of hard work. “So let's go” Mr. Kim whistles clicking his tongue and doing a fancy spin on his heel before heading off to class. 

Chanwoo watches him for a moment, confused and disoriented just as before- but now it's caused by a different reason, especially when Mr. Kim turns around to give him a cheeky full dimpled smile and it causes the breath in his lungs to cease and his cheeks to flush. 

Later on, after school had finally ended, his small crush ends abruptly when he sees a woman waiting for Mr. Kim in front of the gate and greets him with a kiss to his lips. Chanwoo shakes it off, even if it hurt a tad bit, and continues on his walk back home- so it was a little crush it wouldn't hurt him. 

Except it does, he realizes this abruptly when he meets him again. 

~

Its different though, this second life, this time there's only blood,  and screaming, and guns, and bombs, and so much dead people. 

Chanwoo can't even fathom the thought of love at such a time where there's only death and more death. He's a solider, not a simple one like he had hoped he would be two years ago when he was drafted in desperate measures, no he's on the front lines and he's killed so many people. 

In some cliché way that's probably why when he heard a familiar twinkled laugh his insides turned out and his face flushed, a flutter practically weaving through his heart as he turned his face away from where it had been staring mindlessly at the trees ahead. 

He's the same. Or at least that's what Chanwoo thinks as he watches him closely, still tall, still lanky, still full dimpled smile and bright expressions. It's weird, and Chanwoo’s never told anyone- never could, even though his mother always asked what was wrong with him, he could never tell her about when he was a student and he had met a teacher who's smile could quite literally light up any room he was in. 

Everything about him so genuine and real that it makes Chanwoo’s skin crawl. 

He doesn't approach him though, doesn't say a word to him- it's war and nothing bright lasts here, nothing but grey and black and blues accompanied by screams, and gun shots. Later on Chanwoo realizes he still doesn't know Mr. Kim’s (because that's how he still remembers him by) first name. 

Later on, as he's collecting dog tags after a particular explosion that quite literally took out half his squad, he picks up one and feels his heart break and his mouth run dry, there's tears b the edge but they never leave it's place.

The dog tag reads a clear: Kim Donghyuk. 

~

In the third life, because that's what he's going to start calling them, he gets closer to Donghyuk more than ever. Chanwoo had come to the conclusion that he's supposed to do something about Kim Donghyuk, because in the end he's the only thing that Chanwoo clearly remembers about his past lives. 

It's only memories of Donghyuk. 

So in this third life, they're roommates and best friends- or close as they can be without pissing each other off, and Chanwoo’s enjoying it. Now he knows all the little details, like Donghyuk’s fondness for children, or his ability to play multiple instruments, or his heavenly sweet voice that sometimes embarrassingly puts Chanwoo right to sleep. 

He knows all of this and falls harder then he ever had before. 

But just like before, his happy ending never comes. While he can easily slip into Donghyuk’s bed and cuddle with him (and visa versa), or even when Donghyuk jumps in during his showers because he wakes up late- it doesn't stop Donghyuk from falling in love with his twin brother Yunhyeong. 

And Chanwoo can't fault him, although in the other lives he never had a twin, his twin in this life is someone who deserves all the love directed at him. Yunhyeong is smart, kind, an amazing cook, and honestly just everything anyone would want the only bad thing about him was his sense of humor. 

So when Donghyuk announces that he and Yunhyeong were planning to get married (because gay marriage was legal here and this type of development always makes Chanwoo’a heart soar with happiness) it's like every small, little piece Chanwoo has in his heart crumbles.

He musters a smile and murmurs a small, quiet ‘congratulations’ while internally sobbing his life away. Yunhyeong is equally as ecstatic and though it hurts, Chanwoo finds it in himself to be more genuine and claps and laughs with his brother. 

Later on, when the wedding is fast approaching, Donghyuk forces him to go to the bachelor party and they're practically drunk off their asses when