“You want to me what?” Minghao asked, cleaning out his ears like he hadn’t heard Mingyu’s request.

“Be my fake boyfriend! Please! I need your help!” He was all but screaming in Minghao’s ears, clutching at his best friend’s hands like they were his only lifeline.

Minghao shook his head slowly, trying to process Mingyu’s excessive dramatics. “Ok. So fake boyfriend? Why?” The look on his face told Mingyu he was clearly not having it.

“I told these hoard of girls that I was already dating someone. That I’m taken and my lover is very possessive and help me please!” Mingyu cried.

“Why didn’t you just tell them you aren’t interested? You know like a normal human being. Instead of lying through your teeth and pulling lies out of your ?” Minghao said, eyebrows raised.

“Are you going to help me out? I’m your best friend. Why are you being mean to me?” Mingyu whined, eyes doing that dumb puppy dog thing that Minghao hated. It made him feel things all right. Things he didn’t want to feel.

Minghao yanked his hands out of Mingyu’s making a show of wiping them on a napkin, knowing Mingyu’s nasty habit of sneezing into his hand and not washing them. Clearly and succinctly, he replied, “No.”  

“Why not,” Mingyu shouted, piping down as several patrons turned their way.

“Ask Joshua hyung. He’d be happy to help. Doesn’t even go to our university. It’d be easy,” he replied, digging into his pasta.

“And have Jeonghan hyung come after me and cut off my ?!” He half yelled and whispered outraged. “If I dared to ever ask Joshua hyung anything about dating anyone but Jeonghan hyung I’d be dead. They’re practically married. Do you want me dead Minghao? I thought you loved me.”

Minghao paused in his eating, tapping the fork against his lips, taking his sweet time in giving Mingyu a response.  

Why did Mingyu harbor a crush on this guy? He was meaner than his cute face suggested.

“I guess. I mean I suggested the nicest hyung we know. It’s not like I said to ask Jeonghan hyung. He’d just laugh in your face and tell you no. Joshua hyung would at least entertain your idea.”

“You named the nice hyung yes. But you named the nice hyung who’s currently dating this guy who’s very attached to him and will literally take anyone down that so much as breathes wrong near him,” Mingyu said in hysterics. He watched Jeonghan hyung literally orchestrate a plan to get this one guy expelled because he showed too much interest in Joshua even after Jeonghan made sure he got the picture that the two were dating.

“Oh,” Minghao said, “you’re right. Forgot about that. Ask one of the other hyungs instead. Or one of our cute little dongsaengs. Like Vernon or Seungkwan.” Anyone but him. Minghao didn’t want to put himself through heart pain involving Kim Mingyu. Hell no. He didn’t come all the way from China to Korea to deal with having his heart smashed into pieces by this giant puppy who was a clumsy idiot, good intentions aside. He didn’t even know that Minghao liked him more than he should, but he barely admitted that himself.

“Seungcheol hyung is in some weird limbo of relationship. Wonwoo hyung is dating Jun hyung. Soonyoung hyung wouldn’t match. Jihoon hyung would sooner kill me. And Seokmin hyung is holding a torch for someone.” Why wouldn’t Minghao just say yes? God would blurting out he liked him more than he should make Minghao date him? For reals maybe instead of this fake he asked for.

“And Seungkwan and Vernon?” Minghao was pulling at the very last hairs at this point. They literally went through the whole circle of their close friends. Why the hell did the hyungs have such complicated relationships or were taken by possessive people?

“Can you imagine?” Mingyu deadpanned.

Minghao flinched, imagining the two of them as Mingyu’s fake boyfriend. . He couldn’t believe he was agreeing to this . He could smell the heart break. “What’s in it for me?”

Mingyu visibly brightened. “I’ll cook all your meals. For however long we fake date.”

“Only while we fake date? That’s not a good enough incentive,” Minghao said, offended by such a low offer. “At least six months after we ‘fake’ break up. And every date  we go out on you're paying.”

“Six months!? Me pay for all of it?!”

“Do you need a boyfriend or what?”

Mingyu whimpered low in his throat. “Jun was right. You’re so much more vicious than your cute face says you are.” He nodded. “Ok. Deal.”

Minghao sputtered. “Cute? What is wrong with you and Jun hyung? Honestly.” He grabbed Mingyu’s hand across the table. “Good. So when’s our first date boyfriend?” He asked with a twinkle in his evil cute eyes. Mingyu was doomed.