“How I wish I could just stay here and spend the night with all of you.” Mino brushing, covering his face with his hands and sighs as much as he can.

“Hyung’s birthday?” Seungyoon asks him in a weary tone.

Mino nods in agreement to his question and resting his head over the one edge of their dorm gray couch, while looking at his own schedule. It was around 2am in the morning and they were no sign of them going into their bed just yet.

“It’s gonna be okay. It’s not like you’ve never been with us the last three years.” Seungyoon throws him a reassuring look, to let him know it’s gonna be fine.

“I know. I talked to him the other day and he seemed okay with that. But still, I would be lying if I say I don’t want to be with you all celebrating his big day.” Unsatisfied Mino, papers all over his face.

“I mean, internet is everywhere, you can still call him, text him, send him bouquet or celebrating with the staff in Japan.” Seungyoon walks over toward him and sits in the small space left at the edge of the couch. Squeezing himself around Mino’s feet.

Mino looks him up, confused.

“What flower is Hyung’s favorite? I think a flower bouquet sounds nice. I have bought a gift for him, but something to give as a surprise on his big day would be much better than just a gift.” He adds.

“You know hyung is never a complainer, don’t you? He’ll love everything we gave him.” Seungyoon replies to him in second.

“Ah, our sunshine Hyung, I know he’ll be content with anything. Too bad I’m not gonna be around this time.” Mino rises from his current position and gives more room for Seungyoon so he could sit comfortably.

Seungyoon looks at him in full regret. He must be really wanting to celebrate Jinwoo’s birthday together. But this year is indeed different, with all the unit promotions and Mino guesting on a tour in Japan, everything is just extremely overwhelming to think of. He, also wants them to celebrate the day together. Since becoming one of YG’s group, fans always mention how September is such a month of blessing. Jinwoo’s birthday is one of them. He remembers how the last two years they were able to celebrate his birthday with fans. Now as WINNER schedule is uncertain, he has no complain but grateful that they will have yet another fabulous day in September, even without Mino around. Seungyoon observes the older boy in front of him with a worrying look. Mino is getting skinnier and Seungyoon knows the amount of work load he has to go through. He wanted Mino to know that he’s there but at the same time, very certain, Mino knows how to compose himself.

“Yaa, stop thinking about it, you have morning flight to catch tomorrow to Japan and you have to rest now or else you’ll be dreadful tomorrow for airport” Seungyoon stands up and draggs Mino’s long and strong arms from the couch.

“No!” He responds and holds Seungyoon’s hand back. Strong in his grips.

Seungyoon stares at him and Mino knows, he doesn’t like that.

And soon before Seungyoon could ask him why, Mino speaks to him in a slow firm tone,

“Jinwoo Hyung told me the other day, you had nightmares and it was about me?” Mino still gripping Seungyoon’s wrist. This time, with a much gentler hold.

“It was just a random nightmare, I guess. It’s not that important.” Seungyoon shruggs him off.

“No. Sit and tell me” Mino stares at him back, with that usual sharp look he has every time they get caught up in a heated discussion.

Seungyoon looks down at Mino’s grip in his wrist, he knows Mino is worried of him and he wanted to know why but it’s just really a silly nightmare everyone possibly has during their sleep, It’s just that Jinwoo hyung probably taking it into a whole new level talk when he told him, that he has the need to take responsibility to explain Mino about the dream.

Seungyoon sits back next to Mino and hold Mino’s hands back.

“Okay, I will tell you that, but promise me, you have to go to bed right after. Deal?” Seungyoon’s taking advantage.

“Deal” and Mino casually agreed whatever it is, as long as it’s Seungyoon.

“So, I had a nightmare when you were in Japan the last time.” Seungyoon’s eyes still stuck on Mino’s hands.

“You watch Train to Busan too many times, don’t you?  Seungyoon-a?

Seungyoon throws him a judging look, he knows he’s joking around to appear just fine in front of Seungyoon. Seungyoon knows he isn’t okay with anything as scary as nightmare. There is a complete silence and all Seungyoon does was looking at Mino and thinking how is that even possible for this guy to manage being this mischievous while being scared at the same time. There are moments where Seungyoon can’t stand his playful sides, but more often than not, Mino knows how to control tensions between them and Seungyoon is of course appreciative of that. Mino makes everything seems so bright and in between that random thought of him, Mino takes Seungyoon’s hands immediately and he holds them tight in his wide and big hands.

“Why? What was that?” Interlocking their fingers. It feels warm and Seungyoon will never get used to Mino’s touch. Never.

“I don’t know it’s so weird. I saw someone spying on you in my dream and he’s following you around in Japan. He looks like he’s a bad guy, I was worried you were having the same thing while you were there. And then you’re getting further from me. I was so sure your figure got even blurry whenever I try to move one step closer to you.”

Another silence creeping out that dorm living room. Mino is still trying to digest every single word, Seungyoon was telling him.

“I just thought, what if you forgot me? what if something happens to you while you’re away?” Seungyoon bites his bottom lips trying to hold back his tears.  

Mino can’t seem to understand what he heard, asking for second confirmation,

“Why?” He’s wandering in Seungyoon’s eyes; he knows eye contacts is way more intimate than words will be. So he keeps staring at him. Those brown shiny eyes of Seungyoon are one of the best thing Mino could ever imagine to be on his sight right now. He could see through those eyes, he’s carrying so much responsibilities that even Mino, probably wouldn’t able to handle. If there’s something Mino could possibly wish to see every day, it’s gonna be him and his pretty eyes.

“I said I don’t know. May be just my random illusion at night. You know, isn’t it common for people to have nightmares? I was going to ignore but I just want to make sure myself and that I talked this to Jinwoo Hyung. I didn’t know he will tell you, I asked him to keep it for himself” Seungyoon lifts his head and stares back at Mino. Fixing his gaze in wonder, what’s inside Mino’s mind.

“And after this many years with Jinwoo hyung, you still believe that he knows what confidential means? He loves you the most like his own little brother, of course he wouldn’t let you think on your own” Mino replies.

“Yeah, I know I should have known that, but I was just wanting to talk to someone that time” Seungyoon’s mutters.

“But thanks to Hyung I got to know this, if not, I may not aware of you having a night mare. Am I not cute enough for you? You could just dream something sweets about Song Minho, girls are crazy dreaming about me with them, and here you dreamt of me walking away from you, is this even real? you indirectly ditched me” Mino’s chuckle is crisp, it’s all over the room and it feels like a sound of rain drops. His mischievous soul can’t be controlled.  

“I swear to God, that’s not even funny anymore, you should just stick with your rap and let Seunghoon hyung took that funny part” Seungyoon scoffs at him.

“Seungyoon-aa,” Mino lets out a loud breathing, pausing himself before giving more speeches,

“How many times do I need to say, stop worrying too much. You think of your members too much like this, it would never be good for you.” Eyes still on Seungyoon. “And it’s never good for me too. Do you want me to die in pain just to think that you’re doing this over and over?” added at the end.

“How can I not? I feel everything is just as hard recently.” Seungyoon sighs..

There’s something bothering his minds, he looks down at their interlaced fingers. How strong and affectionate at the same time. It’s always making him nervous every time he does that to him, but he loves it. It feels like heaven and everything is sweet all a sudden no matter how toxic his fear is drowning him into terrible self. Mino’s effect on him is tremendous to the point, he can’t even imagine not living with him in future life.

Mino took a while before he answered, he moved closer to Seungyoon and meet’s Seungyoon’s temple. It feels better that way. He pauses. Processing every single protests and worries and anxieties that Seungyoon has been feeling lately. He knows what Seungyoon is thinking but he can do nothing.

“You’re not scared?” Seungyoon asks, feeling warm with Mino’s breath over his face. “90% of the time, I feel like I’m becoming more of a burden to you, you’re not scared with all this thing?”

Mino recognizes the emotion in Seungyoon’s words. It has been weeks he acted this way. He was worrying about Taehyun the other day. Blaming himself that he couldn’t be the best leader the group would ever want to have after all these continuous come back delays. When in reality, everyone admiring him, wanted to have the same personality like him.

When Mino didn’t seem to give any reply, Seungyoon speaks again to him. “Please stop me with this thought. it consumes me a lot these days” looking more dejected than ever.

”Seungyoon-aa, I am sorry you have to work hard yourself. With other members been busy on their own, I’m sorry I’m not there. But, don’t be pointlessly hard on yourself. It’s always okay not to be okay.” Mino doesn’t know what was running through Seungyoon’s mind but his tone is so palpable, he knows Seungyoon listens to him carefully.

“But there’s always these awful metaphorical room of everything that reminds me of you and that ….” Seungyoon is gazing on Mino,

Mino cuts him off before he finished, “The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real. Seungyoon-a, I know you worried of me with all things going on right now. But no, you have to let go, that’s not going to happen. You have to believe, we’re here together. We’re going to be like this until whenever, and I’ll be always the best rapper you said, (smiling coyly), I’ll always be the first to come when you need rescue. How could you say I’m going to forget and leave you?” Mino is always stern and that makes Seungyoon’s eyes glinted, he glances up to the ceiling. He shouldn’t question anything to s especially to his boyfriend, but things just got really hard, and he’s a ball of nerves this past month.   

Seungyoon’s face is trapped between Mino’s hand. His thumbs brushing his cheeks, soft and gentle. Mino observing the younger boy in front of him carefully, how pure his heart is for this world that he always wants to be the first person to protect him, to stay with him and telling him, nothing will change. The corner of his mouth turnes up, he plasteres a smile, so sweet it makes Seungyoon’s heartbeat quickened. Like every fangirl of WINNER, Seungyoon has long admired Mino’s good alluring look. His smile, his tanned skin and sparkling eyes, and the thin black hair are to die for. And every time they stay close like this, Seungyoon will always feel surprised how broad his shoulders and how pretty his eyelashes are.

The same thing goes to Mino. Seungyoon doesn’t know how his effect on Mino is so huge, Mino loves how lush Seungyoon’s lips look. His body, which he has seen hundred times, is always different for him from time to time, it always brings him shiver when he’s with Seungyoon. And before he could think of something else further, Mino’s hands naturally slid over his arms and rested on Seungyoon’s neck. He leanes and yanks him, covers his mouth with his in a slow, hearty, and affectionate touch. Seungyoon will never get used to this, no matter how many times they share kiss, it’s always like the first time. His heavy breathing, Mino moves his mouth in such attractive motions, it’s painfully affectionate and Mino knows, Seungyoon responded to it as his hands roamed all over his back, sending shivers all over his spine. Seungyoon responded in quick, surprising himself on how hungry he is for Mino’s touch. They were lost in each other’s kiss.

“I love you.” Mino manages to say in between kisses. “You are never a burden to me”, another kisses, “Don’t worry too much, I’ll be fine” Mino kisses Seungyoon many times and that it’s almost certain he knows how he tastes, but Seungyoon will never get enough of him. Mino’s insistent mouth parting his cherry lips, sending tremors along his nerves, creating sensations he’s never know he’s capable of feeling. He knots his fists in Mino’s shirt, pulling him closer, he groans softly, low in his throat.

Everything goes oddly quiet when they kiss, then Mino draws back from the kisses and Seungyoon’s fixing his gaze to him. He moves even closer and rests his head in the older’s chest, comforting himself in that emotional warm embrace.

Mino’s eyes bore into the younger boy in his embrace, how adorable, he wants to keep doing this to him.

“You have to get rid of your “what if”, you have had enough of those and those will never happen, I told you.” No responds from the younger but he knows, Seungyoon is carefully listening.

“Arasseo?” Mino continues, sliding his hands to Seungyoon’s arms.

The younger nods in agreement. He knows, Mino is a reliable person, nothing from him he could ever question. And that in those words, Seungyoon always finds that reassuring effect.

-----------------------------------

The next day, when Seungyoon wake up in his bedroom, he wakes up to a huge gift box at the edge of his bed. He was wondering if he’s just having those random dreams again, but that box is so vivid, laying in front of him, it’s real and it was wrapped in a beautiful Gold papers.

There’s a small card tucked on it and Seungyoon is curious of who’s sending him the gift this early in the morning.

He carefully takes the card and he seems to understand the giver, his eyes twinkles with amusement. It’s a DIY card, with pretty small drawing in it, and the only person he could think of is of course, Mino.

What happens the next is more amazing, Seungyoon is lost in words. Tears, shimmered in his eyes. Mino is never an expressive person when it comes to affection, the only thing he knows is to smile and he never goes further like saying something in more romantic way, but it never ceases Seungyoon because he understands, there’s this side of his lovely soul. Seungyoon pressed his lips and read the card over again,  

Dear my dreamcatcher,

“I am probably in Japan by the time you open this, I sneaked up your room this morning to put this, (I’m sorry) but I have no other options. When Jinwoo hyung told me about you having a nightmare, I acted like I was okay in front of him, I don’t want him to get worried too. So, as I worked for the MOBB store, I spent sometimes for myself to paint this wishing to brush away my scary thought. I know you love red, I put some of those colors you like. You know dreamcatcher, right? Of course you know better than me, what am I to you? You’re the smartest. (grin face drawing)

There’s a quote I found about dreamcatcher, it says like this,

“Some people are like beautiful dreamcatchers, absorbing the most terrible things for those they love, and leaving them only the softest, gentlest thoughts behind.”

Seungyoon-a, you know you’ll be always my dreamcatcher, I can’t never thank you enough for your love to me. You always ask me to think positively, to not worry of people, so now, excuse yourself too. Can we be happy the next moments we meet and leave those worries somewhere else? all of these presents are myself showing how important you are, how I want you to always be my dreamcatcher, and that will apply forever. Hang this painting along with the dreamcatcher, and don’t dream something bad again, okay?

I will be back home soon, and by the time I return back, I want to see your smiles again. DEAL?”

Awe transforms his face, that beautiful face of him, the sadness clouded his features is slowly gone and he chews his bottom lips, cheeks so crimson and it suddenly feels light in his heart.  

He unwraps the gift in full joy and excitement and there’s one pretty big size painting, one set of bracelets, and one set of hanging dreamcatcher. They are mixed of rainbow colors with mostly Gold at every edges. The painting is very pretty. It’s a shape of half-moon from a watercolor forming beautiful shimmer of galaxies around it. “Let your faith be bigger than your fear”, a sentence written in a bright teal color on its canvas.

Mino must have worked hard making that. How sweet, Seungyoon could never pay this love back. Seungyoon is fighting back his tears again in his eyes, just how much of a wonderful person, Mino is. All of this thing, it shows him more of his permanent fondness, respect, concern, trust, rapport, romantic feelings.

And that Seungyoon is his dreamcatcher, it’s a manifestation of physical and emotional connection, a shift from “you and I” to an “us”.

He abruptly pushes himself off the bed and grabs his phone on the table and starts texting.

“DEAL! J

I will see you very soon, and just to make you clear, I LOVE YOU TOO. SO MUCH.”