Every day at 8am he gets on the bus, and every day I watched him sit in the seat right in front of me. I don’t think he notices that I’m right behind him…I don’t think he pays close attention to the other people on the bus who sometimes stare as he walks in. Who came blame them though? He’s absolutely perfect.

He sits his book bag right next to him sometimes I wonder if it’s to make sure no one sits next to him or for those rare days that he leans into the black bag and uses it as a pillow to rest against. I watch every morning and every afternoon on these bus rides. He’s always looking out the window staring into the outside world as if it was the most interesting thing he’s ever seen, even if it’s the same scenery every day. He always has his earbuds in too. I wonder what he listens to. Sometimes, he has this sparkling look in his eyes as if whatever he’s listening to is really making him happy. He’ll even try to discreetly mouth the words and he’ll smile as if it was a secret that only he knows. Other times he’ll look down sadly almost as if he was fighting tears. His coffee brown hair hiding his eyes.

When it’s time to leave the bus he’ll struggle with his book bag the weight of it making it hard for him to swing it onto his back. It’s cute really watching him pull at his book bag for a few seconds. I time myself to fit his schedule. When he has the bag on I stand up and move from my seat giving me a few seconds advantage in those seconds he’ll start sliding onto the edge of his seat, and by the time he gets up I’ll be moving up almost overtaking him and leaving the bus first. In that amount of time he’ll look up at me his lips slightly parting in surprise but he’ll stay still as if waiting for me to pass first but…

“You can go first.” A small smile with a wave, this is the only way I can talk to him.

He smiles at me it’s a small almost embarrassed smile and as he moves in front of me he’ll whisper the same quiet words. “Thank you.”

I watch him walk off the bus and as I get off he’s already standing on a curb watching the people departing. Waiting for somebody. One day I actually happened to be in front of that somebody while getting off the bus. He smiled widely and waved a hand in the direction of this person behind me, and for a second I thought he was smiling at me. My heart fluttered and I smiled back wanting to say “hello” but as he walked closer and eventually passed by me I realized how foolish I looked. He has a friend on the bus I don’t know what the nature of their relationship is like. They don’t sit next to each other on the bus but every morning he’ll wait for this boy to walk to school together with. His smile directed to this person is so bright it shatters a piece of my heart every time I see it.

I wish I could talk to him but he’s a year younger than me. We have absolutely no classes together. Absolutely no reason to talk to each other. I just have to be satisfied with this.

His name is Minseok, he loves coffee, he’s very clean (his uniform is usually very crisp too the complete opposite of mine), he’s timid and for a while I thought that he would have people who bullied him but the bullies at our school seem to be intimidated by him. Maybe it’s his aura? Something about him just drives away the malicious people. It makes me happy because at least I don’t have to worry about that.

The boy he walks with every day is Jongdae but he also goes by the name of Chen. They’re been friends for a long time (they’ve been together since the first day of high school from what I remember) but it doesn’t seem like they’re very close judging by the way Minseok stutters and tumbles over his words sometimes.  Chen being more outgoing has more friends than Minseok, his natural playfulness attracting many admirers as well.

Minseok seems to stick to one friend in particular I noticed. Another friend in his year named Yixing. Every morning Minseok leaves Chen to go find Yixing from what I have observed. I try to always see the reunion between these two because it’s always so touching.

Minseok literally runs to Yixing and throws his arms around his shoulders smiling so wide his eyes close. Even if it’s only been a day since they’ve seen each other Minseok acts like it’s been years. I do find myself feeling jealous towards their close relationship all the boundaries that Minseok has seem to crumble into the dust when it comes to Yixing.

They’re personalities are very similar…they really suit each other.

Yixing is quieter than Minseok and sadly unlike his friend, he’s the target of students teasing. I have actually seen Yixing hide behind his light blue book bag and cry so pitifully that I found myself walking closer to him. As I got closer though, I saw a familiar light brown lean itself onto the shoulder of Yixing. Of course, Minseok would never leave his friend like that and as my steps faltered I saw a pair of equally light brown eyes staring right back up at me. The eyes that look up at me every morning…

I turned around and left that day but I could still sense a pair of eyes watching me leave.

Today is Thursday. Stepping onto the bus I went to my seat and sat down. Lately school was getting me down and I just wanted the weekend to come. Sadly I had basketball practice today and would have to stay after school making the day seem painfully longer.

When we came to Minseok’s stop I looked towards the door looking down at my lap when I heard his footsteps drawing near.  There was a pause though –that’s new- and as I looked up to see what caused the pause I found myself staring at those same eyes that show so much emotion as they take in the view from the window. For the first time it seemed like Minseok really saw me; really noticed me. The moment didn’t last very long though the light in his eyes as he looked at me faded, the small expression of mild surprise slid away into his usual neutral that he usually had during school.

For the rest of the bus ride I couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by that look. Did he never realize I sat behind him? He has seen me before so why the sudden surprise?

The school was planning a field trip. Weeks passed and the idea slipped from my mind like a passing thought.

On the day of the trip I found myself a window seat on the bus and as the bus filled up with students we found out that some people had to sit three to a seat because of how crowded it was. My seat was empty because my friends decided to sit in the seat behind mine to tease me the whole trip. I heard we were supposed to go to a museum in another city and as Kai leaned his arms across the back of my seat to play with my hair I couldn’t help but sigh, museums were always boring to me.

“Um, can we sit next to you…?” Turning my head in the direction of the voice that was quiet yet firm enough for me to hear I almost choked when I saw Minseok and Yixing together. I stared for maybe a second my mind finally clicking together as a small noise of approval made its way in the back of my throat.

Yixing doesn’t do very well with strangers so does that mean…

With a soft thud I felt a press against my arm and found myself looking into the light brown eyes of Minseok. He had a smile on his lips and I could already feel my fingers twitching wanting to touch him, wanting to hold him.

“Thank you.”

The trip came and went but the warm feeling of Minseok’s arm pressed against mine never left me. Minseok started approaching me more and more and I felt like I was flying. Nothing could hold me down. He’s like a painting and whenever I look up at the sky all I can see is him.

To me he’s the star the sky dropped.

Graduation was only a couple of days away now and the sadness that was pushed away by him was slowly returning. I won’t be able to see him again after week. I have no reason to.

On the last normal day of school when I get off the Minseok smiled at me and I returned it trying my best to remember what his smile looked like, one aimed at me.

As the day was ending I gathered my things slowly hugging my friends since I might never see them again. The feeling of “We made it!” and “I can’t believe it’s over” was around all of us. Walking towards the bus I saw Minseok talking to some friends and I felt jealous. Jealous that those people are in the same grade as him, jealous that they can see him for another whole year.

Do they even appreciate him?

I can’t do anything about it though. I felt helpless with each step I took towards the bus. My last and final ride as a high school student…

When I sat down I leaned my head onto the window and closed my eyes.

“Can I sit next to you?”

My eyes snapped open and I found Minseok’s face quite close to mine, a knee on the seat as he leaned closer to me.

“Oh I thought you were asleep.” He chuckled quietly leaning back into a standing position and held onto the strap of his book bag as he smiled at me. “So can I?”

Nodding dumbly I tried to make more room but I was already in the corner of the seat so it didn’t really help much. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would jump out my chest and run away from me.

“You know…today was your last day at school.” Ah, he noticed that I was a senior.

“I’m actually sad that I won’t see you anymore. I know we didn’t talk much and that it’s mostly because we’re in different grades…but you seem really nice and you always let me walk in front of you. You’re also handsome. And I just…what I’m trying to say is that I…like you.”

His cheeks were a light pink, he wasn’t looking at me while he spoke, and he was playing with his fingers while looking at the floor. The angel who I thought was hiding his wings behind his back just confessed to me. For a few seconds it was quiet my thoughts were scattered and it all felt too surreal and if this is a dream I never want to wake up. A dream…I pinched myself to make sure it wasn’t a dream because waking up from it would’ve made this day more painful. It wasn’t. This is reality telling me that my one sided crush wasn’t so one sided.

The sky gave him everything and the world is giving him to me.

Reaching down I placed my hand over his the action making him tense up at first. “I, Oh Sehun, would be honored to be your boyfriend Kim Minseok.”

The smile he gave me was so bright even the stars couldn’t compare.

“I will protect you so that your heart won’t be broken or cracked. I promise that I will live for you.”

Although that line would’ve sounded cheesy to me if I heard someone else say it I meant every word. He is my angel.

Lacing our fingers together I placed a gentle kiss onto his forehead. You brighten up my world Minseok.